Almost before he heard the actual sound of the room's door opening Heero Yuy was stirred from a dreamless sleep, alert, but still feigning oblivion. He concentrated on keeping his breathing slow and steady as he listened eyes closed to the sounds of his roommate returning from his latest mission.
The door was opened slowly, casting a gray light from the hallway across the floor to Heero's closed eyelids. He faked a restless stir and rolled over to hide his face in the dark, back to the door. At his movement the door's action halted slightly, but appearing to agree that the other occupant of the room was still asleep it creaked open, two quiet footsteps were heard on the carpet, and then it was slowly closed again and locked for the night, the bolt sliding into place with a click.
Duo Maxwell was most skilled in the areas of stealth, and as such made barely a sound as he walked to the other side of the room. However, in the silence of the early morning Heero could hear each footfall crush into the carpet, the whispering as he removed his coat and shoes, the soft tap as his baseball cap landed on the dresser, the various metallic sounds as he pulled tools from his pockets to land on his bedside table... All sounds he had heard a hundred times before from his roommate when he had come from home after various individual missions in the past. Soon would come the swish of a quick change into a nightshirt and shorts, and then the gentle whispering sounds as he slowly untied his braided hair and proceeded to slowly brush its length before braiding it again and crawling into bed. Heero smiled, a facial expression solely for the dark, the gentle smile that this nightly ritual brought to his normally hard features as he slowly drifted back to sleep in the firm assurance that his friend was safe, and all was well.
He was just making himself comfortable to go back to sleep when he realized that something was different. The smile disappeared from his face and his eyes snapped open in response to the silence. There had been no swish of changed clothing, no whisper of slowly brushed hair. Only a quick pull at sheets, a hard sound of a tired body hitting a mattress and then another whisper as sheets were pulled up. Heero raised himself up on an arm, careful not to make a sound and glanced across the room. In the dark he could just make out the jacket on the ground at the foot of the bed, and the curled up figure nestled in a ball under the sheets of the other bed.
He wondered why no effort had been made to change out of his clothes or brush his hair. 'Perhaps Duo was just tired?' he thought before shaking his head. Duo always took the time to brush his mid-calf length hair. A simple vanity perhaps, but Heero knew the eyes-closed look of peace that coated Duo's face as he slowly ran a brush through his chestnut brown locks. It was this simple moment of peace that was kept Duo sane though all the missions, like the safe feeling Heero got from listening to his nightly routine. Every pilot needed the release, something to live for perhaps.
Cocking his head as if puzzled, Heero strained his eyes, searching for other more concrete signs of distress. It did not take long for him to notice the occasional shiver running through the body in the opposite bed. It was a silent shudder and Heero squinted to make sure he wasn't seeing things, quietly watching for another rustle of the sheets. There was no mistake; the next movement was accompanied by a very quiet but audible sharp intake of breath, almost sounding like a muffled sob.
Eyes wide, he sat up in his bed, listening as the sounds, more frequent now but still very muffled continued from the pile of sheets ahead of him. Brows furrowed and he wondered if Duo was perhaps crying. He had never seen the pilot shed a tear, in all the time he had known him he had managed to present a kind of morbid humour to any situation, a cheerful but realistic outlook that had helped to keep Heero and the other pilots in perspective, but never once had he shed a single tear or shown any outward signs of distress.
On impulse Heero rolled from his bed to crouch barefoot on the carpet, landing soundlessly so as to cause no change in his friend's awareness of his presence. Slowly he crawled over to Duo's bedside listening quietly to the muffled sounds emanating from the form hidden beneath the sheets. On closer inspection he could tell that Duo lay on his side, knees curled up to his chin, covers pulled over his head. Heero knelt so that were Duo not hidden by the sheets they would be face to face, and listened as little gasps followed by quiet sobs shivered through Duo's thin frame. Slowly he raised a gentle hand to the edge of the sheets, but paused, wondering if this was the proper course of action. He had to do something, that he knew. But having never dealt with anyone, let alone his closest friend, in this kind of state he had no idea how to proceed once his presence was known, but he had to do something. Biting down on his lower lip he firmed his resolve and slowly clasped the edge of the sheet.
Duo's body tensed and became warily silent as Heero slowly pulled the sheets back to reveal Duo's face, shoulders and knees. He gasped slightly as his eyes met those of his friend's, two slightly surprised but tragic eyes peaking from above his curled legs, two eyes shining from a tear-stained face half-hidden by long chestnut bangs, two eyes that blinked twice before closing as his form curled tighter. Duo whispered a soft, "Go away Heero," before an arm reached for the edge of the sheets to return them to their previous position.
Heero shook his head slowly as he pulled the weakly protesting hand from the fabric and rose to sit on the edge of the bed. "No," he said firmly running a slow gentle hand across Duo's cheek to brush away the tears that stood there before bringing it to rest on his friend's shoulder.
Duo lay silent for a long moment, occasionally sniffing back another round of tears but not making any move to get away from Heero or remove his hand from his shoulder. He shook his head as another shudder ran through him, and Heero move his hand to rub slow circles across his friend's back. The quiet motion calmed Duo somewhat and his form relaxed slightly, his knees pulling back from his face and his tears slowing to a stop. Without opening his eyes, his hand slowly made its way to brush against Heero's leg, searching, and was soon clasped in Heero's free hand where it tightened as Duo slowly maneuvered himself into a sitting position, swinging his legs over the side of the mattress, face angled downwards so Heero could not see it. "Thank you," he whispered bringing his free hand to brush his bangs from his face, still not meeting his friend's eyes.
They sat in silence like that for a long time, Heero's right hand still slowly rubbing Duo's back, his left tightly clasped in Duo's, both boys staring intently at their feet in the dark.
Duo took a deep breath, before beginning quietly to speak, "As per usual, the God of Death was nearly destroyed tonight," he muttered in a humourless quip. "And I was thinking, 'Why do I even bother staying alive?' I mean, the missions may affect the fate of the world, the peace of earth and the colonies, but who the hell cares who completes the missions? If I were destroyed they would find another - If I died no one would care, I'd just be another solider who died at his post, another casualty of war, another useless, pointless death in thousands and I've got no one left who even gives a damn that's why they chose me right? It's not like anyone would... I mean, no one would even care if I... the last words came in a rush as his grip in Heero's hand tightened.
"Stop." Heero whispered, cutting off the torrent of words, "you're wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong, Duo."
Duo slowly raised his head to watch Heero's face as he shook his head in the dark. The hand on his back had moved to desperately cover his hand in his, Heero trembled with the force of his words.
"I would care." With those three words Heero's gaze met Duo's head on, a finger raised to run down from his temple to his chin, grasping the later to keep Duo's eyes on his as he tried to look away from the intensity of that gaze, "Don't ever think that your life has no meaning. Ever. Got that?"
Duo nodded fervently into Heero's hand, more tears building in his eyes.
Heero removed his hands and stood, reaching across to Duo's dresser where his hairbrush rested. "Now that that's settled. Let's get you to bed."
Duo sat perfectly still, occasionally raising a hand to brush away another silent tear as Heero slowly, and surprisingly, with all the skill of one who had experience with long hair despite his own short locks, slowly pulled apart Duo's matted braid and proceeded to brush out the tangles from tip to head, ever so carefully so as not to hurt his friend, deftly untangling the harder knots with his bare hands, then carefully rebraiding it when he finished.
Turning Duo to face him he stared long and hard into his eyes until Duo guiltily looked away before rising and turning to return to his own bed. Before he could take a step to leave though, Duo's hand shot up to clasp his wrist, and he turned to look down at his friend.
"Heero, I... Duo started slowly, gaze downward, "I... Thanks. I'll try to... Well... Slowly he rose from the bed and stepped towards Heero, meeting his gaze once again as an equal and smiling softly before raising his arms to clasp them around Heero's neck in a thankful embrace.
Heero nearly stepped back with surprise at the open display of affection but stopped, raising his hands to clasp softly around Duo's waist. In his ears came a soft whisper, "Thanks for giving a damn, Heero Yuy. Thanks," its last word emphasized by a soft increase of pressure. Heero smiled. Once again he was firm in the knowledge that Duo Maxwell was safe and sound.
The door was opened slowly, casting a gray light from the hallway across the floor to Heero's closed eyelids. He faked a restless stir and rolled over to hide his face in the dark, back to the door. At his movement the door's action halted slightly, but appearing to agree that the other occupant of the room was still asleep it creaked open, two quiet footsteps were heard on the carpet, and then it was slowly closed again and locked for the night, the bolt sliding into place with a click.
Duo Maxwell was most skilled in the areas of stealth, and as such made barely a sound as he walked to the other side of the room. However, in the silence of the early morning Heero could hear each footfall crush into the carpet, the whispering as he removed his coat and shoes, the soft tap as his baseball cap landed on the dresser, the various metallic sounds as he pulled tools from his pockets to land on his bedside table... All sounds he had heard a hundred times before from his roommate when he had come from home after various individual missions in the past. Soon would come the swish of a quick change into a nightshirt and shorts, and then the gentle whispering sounds as he slowly untied his braided hair and proceeded to slowly brush its length before braiding it again and crawling into bed. Heero smiled, a facial expression solely for the dark, the gentle smile that this nightly ritual brought to his normally hard features as he slowly drifted back to sleep in the firm assurance that his friend was safe, and all was well.
He was just making himself comfortable to go back to sleep when he realized that something was different. The smile disappeared from his face and his eyes snapped open in response to the silence. There had been no swish of changed clothing, no whisper of slowly brushed hair. Only a quick pull at sheets, a hard sound of a tired body hitting a mattress and then another whisper as sheets were pulled up. Heero raised himself up on an arm, careful not to make a sound and glanced across the room. In the dark he could just make out the jacket on the ground at the foot of the bed, and the curled up figure nestled in a ball under the sheets of the other bed.
He wondered why no effort had been made to change out of his clothes or brush his hair. 'Perhaps Duo was just tired?' he thought before shaking his head. Duo always took the time to brush his mid-calf length hair. A simple vanity perhaps, but Heero knew the eyes-closed look of peace that coated Duo's face as he slowly ran a brush through his chestnut brown locks. It was this simple moment of peace that was kept Duo sane though all the missions, like the safe feeling Heero got from listening to his nightly routine. Every pilot needed the release, something to live for perhaps.
Cocking his head as if puzzled, Heero strained his eyes, searching for other more concrete signs of distress. It did not take long for him to notice the occasional shiver running through the body in the opposite bed. It was a silent shudder and Heero squinted to make sure he wasn't seeing things, quietly watching for another rustle of the sheets. There was no mistake; the next movement was accompanied by a very quiet but audible sharp intake of breath, almost sounding like a muffled sob.
Eyes wide, he sat up in his bed, listening as the sounds, more frequent now but still very muffled continued from the pile of sheets ahead of him. Brows furrowed and he wondered if Duo was perhaps crying. He had never seen the pilot shed a tear, in all the time he had known him he had managed to present a kind of morbid humour to any situation, a cheerful but realistic outlook that had helped to keep Heero and the other pilots in perspective, but never once had he shed a single tear or shown any outward signs of distress.
On impulse Heero rolled from his bed to crouch barefoot on the carpet, landing soundlessly so as to cause no change in his friend's awareness of his presence. Slowly he crawled over to Duo's bedside listening quietly to the muffled sounds emanating from the form hidden beneath the sheets. On closer inspection he could tell that Duo lay on his side, knees curled up to his chin, covers pulled over his head. Heero knelt so that were Duo not hidden by the sheets they would be face to face, and listened as little gasps followed by quiet sobs shivered through Duo's thin frame. Slowly he raised a gentle hand to the edge of the sheets, but paused, wondering if this was the proper course of action. He had to do something, that he knew. But having never dealt with anyone, let alone his closest friend, in this kind of state he had no idea how to proceed once his presence was known, but he had to do something. Biting down on his lower lip he firmed his resolve and slowly clasped the edge of the sheet.
Duo's body tensed and became warily silent as Heero slowly pulled the sheets back to reveal Duo's face, shoulders and knees. He gasped slightly as his eyes met those of his friend's, two slightly surprised but tragic eyes peaking from above his curled legs, two eyes shining from a tear-stained face half-hidden by long chestnut bangs, two eyes that blinked twice before closing as his form curled tighter. Duo whispered a soft, "Go away Heero," before an arm reached for the edge of the sheets to return them to their previous position.
Heero shook his head slowly as he pulled the weakly protesting hand from the fabric and rose to sit on the edge of the bed. "No," he said firmly running a slow gentle hand across Duo's cheek to brush away the tears that stood there before bringing it to rest on his friend's shoulder.
Duo lay silent for a long moment, occasionally sniffing back another round of tears but not making any move to get away from Heero or remove his hand from his shoulder. He shook his head as another shudder ran through him, and Heero move his hand to rub slow circles across his friend's back. The quiet motion calmed Duo somewhat and his form relaxed slightly, his knees pulling back from his face and his tears slowing to a stop. Without opening his eyes, his hand slowly made its way to brush against Heero's leg, searching, and was soon clasped in Heero's free hand where it tightened as Duo slowly maneuvered himself into a sitting position, swinging his legs over the side of the mattress, face angled downwards so Heero could not see it. "Thank you," he whispered bringing his free hand to brush his bangs from his face, still not meeting his friend's eyes.
They sat in silence like that for a long time, Heero's right hand still slowly rubbing Duo's back, his left tightly clasped in Duo's, both boys staring intently at their feet in the dark.
Duo took a deep breath, before beginning quietly to speak, "As per usual, the God of Death was nearly destroyed tonight," he muttered in a humourless quip. "And I was thinking, 'Why do I even bother staying alive?' I mean, the missions may affect the fate of the world, the peace of earth and the colonies, but who the hell cares who completes the missions? If I were destroyed they would find another - If I died no one would care, I'd just be another solider who died at his post, another casualty of war, another useless, pointless death in thousands and I've got no one left who even gives a damn that's why they chose me right? It's not like anyone would... I mean, no one would even care if I... the last words came in a rush as his grip in Heero's hand tightened.
"Stop." Heero whispered, cutting off the torrent of words, "you're wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong, Duo."
Duo slowly raised his head to watch Heero's face as he shook his head in the dark. The hand on his back had moved to desperately cover his hand in his, Heero trembled with the force of his words.
"I would care." With those three words Heero's gaze met Duo's head on, a finger raised to run down from his temple to his chin, grasping the later to keep Duo's eyes on his as he tried to look away from the intensity of that gaze, "Don't ever think that your life has no meaning. Ever. Got that?"
Duo nodded fervently into Heero's hand, more tears building in his eyes.
Heero removed his hands and stood, reaching across to Duo's dresser where his hairbrush rested. "Now that that's settled. Let's get you to bed."
Duo sat perfectly still, occasionally raising a hand to brush away another silent tear as Heero slowly, and surprisingly, with all the skill of one who had experience with long hair despite his own short locks, slowly pulled apart Duo's matted braid and proceeded to brush out the tangles from tip to head, ever so carefully so as not to hurt his friend, deftly untangling the harder knots with his bare hands, then carefully rebraiding it when he finished.
Turning Duo to face him he stared long and hard into his eyes until Duo guiltily looked away before rising and turning to return to his own bed. Before he could take a step to leave though, Duo's hand shot up to clasp his wrist, and he turned to look down at his friend.
"Heero, I... Duo started slowly, gaze downward, "I... Thanks. I'll try to... Well... Slowly he rose from the bed and stepped towards Heero, meeting his gaze once again as an equal and smiling softly before raising his arms to clasp them around Heero's neck in a thankful embrace.
Heero nearly stepped back with surprise at the open display of affection but stopped, raising his hands to clasp softly around Duo's waist. In his ears came a soft whisper, "Thanks for giving a damn, Heero Yuy. Thanks," its last word emphasized by a soft increase of pressure. Heero smiled. Once again he was firm in the knowledge that Duo Maxwell was safe and sound.