Title: The Circle Game
Summary: It was an easy choice really: Go through The Gate and head towards a promised great future, or stay aboard the ship, doing menial tasks for no apparent reason.
Timeline: Mid-season six.
Author's Note: As much as I'd like to, I can't take full credit for this story. It's based on an old mini-story from 1941: 'By His Bootstraps' by Robert A. Heinlein. I'd ask that you not read the original until after I've finished posting the chapters, purely because it'd ruin the ending, but it is a great little story if you've ever got a spate twenty minutes. If you have read it, I really hope my version isn't too weird, I've just wanted to parody it for so long and it finally felt like it was time. Also, I'm sorry for the completely terrible summary, I just had no idea how to explain this in 200-or-so letters. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!
I didn't see the circle appear. Nor, for that matter, did I see the woman who stepped out of the circle and stood staring at the back of my head, gazing and fidgeting as though labouring under some strong and unusual emotion. I was busy, you see; the task of recalibrating the warp core had fallen to me, yet again, and though it wasn't a particularly hard task for me anymore I had been looking forward to my night off, a night that would now never happen. Tom had booked out Holodeck One for us, and I'd been under strict instructions to not let myself get caught up with work and miss the second date he'd organized that week. He should have known better, we all should have. We, the Engineering crew, had been bored yesterday afternoon; for once there hadn't been anything to fix, anything to improve, hell, there hadn't been anything to do. In a moment of boredom-induced madness we agreed to try and create a new type of shielding for Voyager, one that would bounce back an attack from an enemy ship, affecting them with twice as much disaster as had been intended for us. Theory turned into planning, and planning turned into tinkering. Eventually, we'd come up with a miniature model, the shielding of which could be adapted to cover Voyager's size. It was a good idea, we all thought, and it wouldn't take long to implement the changes to Voyager's basic structure. A little risky, yes; the shielding was, after all, a virus designed to infect the attack and make it mutate against itself. It was not taken lightly that the idea could potentially cause a lot of damage if we handled it incorrectly, but we would be using the virus in our favour, so we ignored the potential drawbacks and pitched the idea. The Captain approved it in a matter of minutes, and we began work soon after. It had all been going smoothly until we found an area of the exterior that had worn away, leaving the inner wiring and deflectors vulnerable to damage, damage that could come in the form of an attack, a mistake, or a certain type of virus. Why we hadn't run a diagnostic on the entire ship before setting to work I'll never know, but it had proven to be a fatal mistake, and in less than an hour there was talk of turning to the escape pods.
I'd never really gotten on with her, but even I was relieved when former Borg drone Seven Of Nine piped up and claimed to be able to deflect the raging aftermath of our experiments with some of her nifty little nanoprobes. It turned out that she'd allowed The Doctor to harvest her nanoprobes for research purposes, and they'd found that the very same things that took away individuality could fix nearly every type of technological problem like a group of antibodies attacking a pathogen. I, as much as everybody else, was desperate to try and find some way of salvaging Voyager, and so Vorik, Harry, Seven, and I donned our protective clothing and made for the heart of the damage. True to her word, Seven was able to stop the virus at its centre, thus preventing it from spreading any further. We received a message via our comm. badges that the nanoprobes were travelling fast, and that they'd nearly eradicated all traces of the would-be shield from Voyager's systems. Vorik suggested that we head back to Engineering to oversee the final stages of the repair, one that was going to take most of, if not all, the night to accomplish. Finally, at midnight, the crisis was over. After celebrating, my team had been called into the Captain's Ready Room and told that we were not, under any circumstances, to try and mess with a system that worked well enough on its own already again. I would have been annoyed; she was the one who authorized our plan after all; but in the forefront of my mind was guilt, and a sense of the pain I'd have felt if we hadn't been able to combat the virus in its early stages. The thought of all the lives I could have ruined...
My latest orders had been to encode the virus in its simplest form, a binary program; so that we could access the information on how to create and destroy it in a matter of minutes. I'd sent the rest of the team to their quarters; 'no point in all of us losing sleep' had been my excuse, when I'd really just wanted to be left alone. 001000010111010 – page after page of zeros and ones stared back at me as I tried to make sense of what I was doing. I hadn't worked with binary since my Starfleet Academy days; algorithms and complex codes were more commonplace for me now, and although I knew that the answer to what I was looking for was in there, in between the nothing and the perfect number, I couldn't help but want to just turn the consoles off and go to bed. "Damn it!" I exploded, banging a fist down on the touch screen violently, ignoring the customary warning beep, "I don't even know what I'm doing."
"Don't bother with it then," a voice said, causing me to freeze momentarily, "Binary's a load of nonsense anyway."
"You scared me," I accused, turning around violently. My hands were clenched tightly, ready to attack; always on the defensive, B'Elanna, Chakotay might have said, back when we still talked about things other than this damned ship. "What are you doing here?" I asked, walking over to the doors which were, as I'd left them, locked. Not waiting for an answer, I continued, "How did you get in?"
"Through there," the woman answered pointing to the circle. I noticed it for the first time; how could I have missed that? True, it was pencil thin, a crude circle drawn on the air itself, somewhere between where the woman stood and the walls of Engineering.
"What is it?" I asked suspiciously, shaking my head in disbelief. The circle remained, but my head exploded. It had been a long thirty eight hours, and I'd have sworn I was asleep and dreaming if it hadn't been for the fact that I could feel the dull ache in the back of my head and the tingling pain that shot through my spine whenever I moved; the result of sitting in an awkward position for two hours flat. Curiosity got the better of me, and I advanced slowly towards it, reaching a hand out in weary anticipation.
"Don't," the woman snapped, startling me for the second time in as many minutes.
"What are you doing here?" I asked again, more than a little angry. "And why can't I touch it? You can't just come in here through some sort of invisible window and expect me to not be curious. And that's another thing; who are you?"
"I'll explain later," the woman replied, completely ignoring my second and third questions, or perhaps answering them all in one go. "I think we should have something to drink first." She made her way over to the replicator, punching in a series of numbers that I soon recognised as my own replicator code. Those drinks were coming out of my rations...
"What are you doing here?" I repeated, crossing my arms in annoyance. "And that's my code."
"Your code." The woman replied, drawing back a little. "Sorry. You don't mind, do you?"
"Of course I mind!" I replied haughtily, "But please, do help yourself." I couldn't help the sarcasm. Come on B'Elanna, I thought, looking at her hurt expression, she's just an old lady. Only she wasn't 'old' at all, I soon realised, just old-looking and tired. And very close to tears...
"Thanks," she said, smiling bleakly. With that one facial expression she became even younger than my second estimate, and it was with a gasp of surprise that I realised that we were very close in age.
"Who are you?" I asked, my voice nearing a whisper.
"You don't know?" she asked sympathetically, knowing that I suspected. And I did; with only a slight resistance I recognised the mahogany colour of her hair, cut angularly halfway down her neck. I recognised her eyes, chocolate brown with tiny, almost microscopic flecks of green and black. She was quite slim under her dark grey worker's jumpsuit, and she held her arm crookedly at her side. The thing that shook me most, however, the thing that really knocked me for six was her left eye. It was bruised and the white was red. Her bottom lip was puffy and swollen, and not in a Hollywood-starlet 'kiss me quick' kind of way. I decided that I didn't like the face in front of me, not one little bit. Still, there was something very, very familiar about it. I took the mug of sweet coffee she handed me gratefully, staring unabashedly at the small scar on the soft side of her thumb, the same scar that I'd...
"No, I don't." I answered, shaking my head resolutely. Except that I did know, and she knew that I knew. And I knew that she knew that I knew; it could have gone on and on. I looked her in the eye, sipping slowly at the warm mug of liquid caffeine; "You could at least tell me your name."
"You can call me Honor," she replied.
"Honor?" I questioned, smiling slightly at her nodded reply. Amusement turned to irritation yet again as the console behind me beeped, reminding me that I had work to do. "Okay, Honor; I want an explanation as to what's going on. And I mean immediately, or you can just make your way out of my workplace and out of my life. I don't have time for this."
"Impatient much?" Honor replied, smirking arrogantly before wincing as her actions caused her eye to hurt. "That thing I came through is called a Time Gate-"
"A what-now?"
"A Time Gate," she repeated, sighing heavily. "Time flows along either side of the Gate, only some thousands of years apart. Just how many thousands I haven't been able to determine yet. But for the next couple of hours, that Gate is open. You can walk into the future just by stepping through it."
"I'm not interested," I interrupted. I was interested, of course, but it wouldn't have surprised me if this woman was simply a hologram, a joke, a prank being played on me by someone who mistakenly thought I needed cheering up. It wasn't working...
"Scan me" Honor said abruptly, as if she knew what I was thinking, "I can't tell you who I am, though I suspect that you already know. Scan me to reassure yourself of who I am, but don't say it out loud. That way we won't be breaking the rules, and I can still say what I need to say."
"There's no need," I replied, curtly; my back hurt too much to even think about getting up. "So... a Time Gate."
"You don't believe me, do you?" she said, standing up and walking over to where I sat. "Well, I'm going to show you!" With that, she took my comm. badge and walked hurriedly to the circle.
"Don't," I protested. I was aggravated, but not enough so to chase after her. "Honor, what are you doing?"
"Showing you." she smiled, triumphantly. Honor stood by the circle, and threw my comm. badge swiftly through the air. I winced, anticipating the clunking sound that would hit our ears as the badge smashed against the metal walls, but the sound never came. No, the badge struck the circle dead centre, and winked out of existence.
"What the...?" I exclaimed jumping up in surprise. Ignoring my back, and the sharp, stabbing pains that were shooting up it, I walked briskly to that pencil-thin circle and examined the floor. A dread, something akin to finding out that the virus had taken over Voyager's being, filled me, and trickled down my body, rendering me numb. "That's a neat trick." I offered, my voice breaking, "Now how do I get it back?"
"You don't!" Honor exclaimed, as if happy with herself, "Unless you go through it yourself, of course."
"You're nuts!" I retaliated, spitefully turning my back on the beaming woman who had my face, my disfigured, beaten face.
"I know." She laughed, "I said that too."
"Look, I'm tired, and I really have to finish the-"
"Encoding the virus' makeup into binary code so that you know how it works, yadda, yadda, yadda. It doesn't matter, B'Elanna. I can't explain it to you very well at the moment, but what I do know is that it's very important that you come with me through the Gate."
"You're nuts" I repeated; it was all I could say. Whether it was a result of my exhaustion, annoyance, or something else, words were failing me.
Honor's face fell into a look of despair. Her posture became slouched, like a two-year-old in a store after being told that, no, they couldn't have a packet of Popping Candy. "Please?" she asked tilting her head to one side, "Please will you just go through?"
"Why?" I asked. Despite my mounting disquiet I was intrigued.
"If you'd have gone through already you would know by now." Honor replied sullenly. I decided that I didn't like her tone.
"I'm not going through."
"Please... There's somebody there who needs you."
My thoughts immediately turned to Tom, the man I loved, the man who was undoubtedly waiting for me to return to our quarters. Maybe he'd fallen asleep. He'd said that he'd wait for me to finish, holding me close in that sweet little way that he does when I need comfort and he needs to feel like he's comforting me. I wouldn't, I decided, hold it against him if he'd broken his promise and fallen asleep. After all, I'd been instructed to have this work done by 0600 hours; it was 0340 and I wasn't even halfway through. I wasn't even doing it... "I don't care." I said; my mind had been made up. "I'm not going to go through the gate, and there's absolutely nothing you can do to convince me otherwise."
"But, B'Elanna! You have to understand, this person really needs you."
"Who is this person then?" I said, willing to let her get it out. I wasn't going to go with her, but listening to her strange stories and notions was better than spending the next three hours staring blankly at a screen of zeros and ones whilst contemplating whether or not to have another coffee.
"I can't tell you," Honor repeated, "I would if I could, but I can't. All I can say is that this person needs you, and if you come through the gate with me you'll be set for life. You, me, and this third person could rule the universe if we wanted to." She looked at my doubtful expression, "You really want to spend the rest of your life aboard this ship under the orders of a menopausal old bitch for a Captain who'd rather blame you for a decision she should have thought more carefully about before agreeing to? You don't, do you? This is your chance, B'Elanna. Believe me, you want to take it." She was laughing now, almost bitterly.
Despite my tiredness and annoyance, I was intrigued, even amused by her referring to the Captain as a 'menopausal old bitch'. And although I'd been adamant that I wasn't interested, I did now have to admit, to myself at least, that I was curious. Her idea had a strange attraction, and the thought of being to do as I pleased, to not be responsible for a crew getting home (the Captain could say what she liked, the crew depends on each other, not solely on her), appealed to me. But then, there was the one thing I'd stay for, the one thing, person, I'd be happy to stay for.
"He doesn't love you." Honor said, reading my mind for the second time, her voice was desperate, her tone hurried. "Honestly, he'll marry you, get you pregnant, and then leave you for someone younger, prettier, and blonder." I was amused by her rambling; although I still wasn't one hundred percent confident with mine and Tom's relationship, I knew he wouldn't leave me at the snap of a wrist.
"I've had enough." I said, "I don't believe you. I don't believe you, and I don't care about that thing over there. It probably doesn't even exist. Now, could you please finish your drink and leave me alone so that I can finish up here and go to bed!"
"But you can't do that!" Honor pled desperately, and I was slightly shocked to see tears in the corner of her eyes.
"Yes I can." I retorted harshly, moving towards the console once more.
"Did you not hear me?" she screeched, jumping like a startled cat and running towards where I stood. "I said you can't do that!"
"Leave me alone!"
"Leave her alone!"
We both swung around in response to this unexpected third voice and found facing us, standing directly in front of the circle, another woman. I stared at the woman, looked back hesitantly at Honor, and back again. "Not again," I complained, shaking my head in confusion. The new woman and Honor looked a lot alike, enough alike to be sisters, I thought, or maybe even twins. Or maybe I was seeing double. "And you are..." I said, surprising myself with my patience.
"She knows who I am," the newcomer said meaningfully, looking at Honor.
Honor studied the woman solemnly. "Yes," she said eventually, "I suppose I do. But why are you here, are you throwing the plan? Are you-"
"There's no time for any long-winded explanations now," the new woman said, "I know more about it than you do, though you'll probably have already figured that out. Believe me when I say that she should not go through that Gate." Honor looked angry, and opened her mouth as if to argue, but we were interrupted, a recurring theme of the evening, by my spare comm. badge beeping in the corner. "Answer it!" snapped the newcomer.
"Fine," I said, ignoring her petulant tone.
"B'Elanna, is this B'Elanna Torres?" The voice from the comm. badge questioned.
"Yes, who is this?"
"Never mind that," The voice said. "I just wanted to be sure that you're there. You've got quite a day ahead of you girl, keep your chin up, eh?"
I heard a soft, almost melancholy giggle, then the beep signifying that the person had 'hung up'. "Who was it?" Honor asked.
"I don't know." I replied, "Some crewmember with a very warped sense of humour."
"B'El- Honor," the newcomer stuttered, "We have to leave."
"Okay, fine." Honor replied, before turning to look at me. "Come on then, let's go."
"Go where?" I asked, though I knew perfectly well what she meant.
"Just forget about it Honor, she's not coming with us, and that's that!"
"I won't do anything at all!" I shouted, "Except call security and have you both escorted." And then I stammered, not believing I was even saying it; "Or maybe I will come."
"Great!" Honor exclaimed, relief evident in her tone. "If you'll just step through here..."
"Oh no you don't!" the newcomer shouted, positioning herself so that it would be impossible for me to pass through.
"Listen here," I warned, my patience and control finally snapping, "I have had one hell of a day, and I'm in desperate need of some sleep. I've listen to Honor for the best part of an hour, listening to reasons why I should go through this gate, and then you turn up and tell me I shouldn't. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, or what I'm supposed to believe, but I'm going through that gate, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!" I tried to push around her, but was suddenly ensnared in the newcomer's arms. "Let me go," I roared, beginning to struggle wildly, feeling suddenly tearful and embarrassed. These two emotions waged a battle within me as I fought off the newcomer, a woman whose name I still did not know, and wasn't sure I even wanted to know. Upset and humiliation eventually turned to anger, and I punched out feebly at the woman in the way of the door. Suddenly, Honor stood ostensibly at my side, trading a series of attacks on the newcomer that produced more of a reaction than my haphazard slaps and grabs. I was shoved unceremoniously to the side, and although I was glad to be free of the fight, I couldn't help but feel riled when I saw the newcomer land a tough, brutal punch on Honor's already swollen mouth.
"Ugh!" Honor grunted, falling backwards onto the cold, hard floor. "What are you doing?" she hissed at the newcomer, "We had a plan." She lunged forward yet gain, knocking both me and the third woman nearer the circle. I stumbled, tangled up in my own clumsy feet, and fell backwards; right into the forwarding blur of the newcomer's fist.
"You hit me," I gasped, stating the obvious. I stood there, holding my mouth, and watched the newcomer gaze bewilderedly at my mouth, which was rapidly turning an angry shade of purple.
"I know... I didn't mean to." She stammered, waving her hands apologetically. Honor had her in a comical-looking headlock, and if it hadn't been for the fact that I was exhausted, grumpy, and in pain, I'd have laughed.
"Go, B'Elanna, go!" Honor shouted, nodding animatedly at the Gate. I turned to the circle, not knowing, or really caring about, what would be the right thing to do. I stepped forward, though whether it was to walk towards the circle or away from it I hadn't been sure. Misinterpreting my hesitance, the newcomer shouted a protest, using the weight of her body to throw Honor off of her. She stumbled towards me, arms flailing, and knocked me forcefully in my left eye. Shooting stars and bright flashes of light filled my aching head, accompanied by a loud ringing noise. And then there was nothing...
AN2: Ugh, I do so hate writing in the first person. Please review!