(A/N): Consider this charity fill, as this is not exactly what I had in mind when I sat down to write a birthday fic... However, I hope everyone finds it enjoyable nonetheless. I've actually been meaning to turn this fic out since July... but, uh, distractions galore. [I'm just a n00b when it comes to the awesomesauce that is Magvel] Ahem... Witness Tana and Eirika's amazing friendship and all that lovely jazz and whatnot~
"...Brother?"
My curled fist rapped against the door impatiently, and I cursed silently for betraying my frustration.
"Ephraim? Are you there? I really need to speak with you."
It wasn't as if I were honestly trying to keep anything hidden at all, but it was more over that the feelings seeped out of me like sweet tea into the carpets—hot and steaming and an obnoxious nuisance to whoever had to deal with it. And my frustration might as well have been bubbling out of the pots for all the nail biting I had done during the stretch of the night, my fingers red and aching from gnawing on skin. Terrible habit.
The sun was creeping over the horizon and through the palace windows, and I would be lying if I said I didn't struggle to climb out of bed this morning when I woke. I was tired. Exhausted. Beaten. Beaten like the soles of my boots and then worn down to scraps—though, that was a feeling a usually harbored nowadays. Ephraim wouldn't be pleased to see that I had lost sleep over his proposal the night before—though, I knew he would appreciate the gravity with which I had considered his proposal. After all, it was the last one I'd ever hear from him.
Ephraim was nowhere to be found. It shouldn't have surprised me by now—not at all. He had a terrible knack for disappearing, evading people when he didn't want to be found. I was hoping to find him locked up in his room, but I knew the chances of him sitting still were slim.
But it did, because I needed to see him, and he wasn't making my search easy.
"Ephraim?" I rattled the handle. "I don't know if you can hear me or not but either way I'm coming in! Don't say I didn't give you a warning first..."
The door opened fairly easily, and I slipped inside against the cool part of the frame, closing it behind me quickly with a softly whispered click. The silence that met me wasn't what I wanted to hear. It stretched out, and left me with knots in my stomach.
"...Ephraim?"
There was no one in the room.
His bed was made. The fire was out. The balcony windows were shut tight against the breezes outside.
I glanced over at his desk, looking for anything particularly out of place. I fingered the bottles of ink and parchment paper that were piled neatly on a corner, trying not to jump as the it crackled beneath my fingertips like the snapping of a branch.
"Ephraim?"
I sighed. I knew it was a futile effort by now to even so much as search his room, because he was long gone and would surely have been hasty in his escapade to leave the castle, sneaking through the catacombs below or climbing the walls if it so much was presented as a path for escapement.
He didn't want to be King, and I knew that. We all knew it, and yet... it didn't seem to mean much to either of us if he would leave in the fashion that he had. I was angry, because he had given me the shoulder instead of his word, and that was far more upsetting than even his disappearance.
Was it so hard to speak? Or perhaps I was just frustrated?
"Eirika?"
Stomach in my throat, I whirled around to get a glance of the speaker, expecting it be a maid. Though, it was someone much closer to me.
"Tana, you startled me..." I let out a shaky breath, the desk digging painfully into the back of my thighs as I leaned back to steady myself.
"Did you find him, Eirika? Or did he only just leave, do you think?" She stayed in the doorway, still in her nightdress from this morning, and I wondered why she didn't enter, staying on the edge instead of joining me in my search. Wasn't she as frustrated as I was over his vanishing?
"No... he's... been gone for a while. His bed is undisturbed," I added, as if that was the answer and everything else was negligible.
In Ephraim's case, admittedly sometimes I truly had to wonder.
"Ah... did you have any luck, Tana? You look as though you may have found something..." I hadn't noticed it, the small roll tucked beneath the hollow of her arm. She didn't move. "...Tana?"
She took a deep breath, I could hear it across the vast wincing space between us. She was hesitating, and she wasn't trying to hide it, either. "Tana, do you know something?" I spoke gently; she looked almost ill when she stood in the shadows and it was slightly unnerving when I was so used to seeing her smiling, even during times of crisis. Though, her concern was well-founded.
"I-I... Eirika... he's gone to be a mercenary. I found this–" she pulled the parchment out from her arm, "–in my chambers this morning when I woke. He was planning to give it to you, but I... thought you'd might like having me here to lend support when you read it. I mean, I don't know what it says, but I..."
She hardly ever gave herself enough credit.
"Tana... thank you." I smiled genuinely and we met halfway in a quick embrace, the paper an offering in her outstretched palm. "You're always looking out for me, aren't you?" She laughed.
"To the best of my abilities. Sometimes I wonder if it's enough with everything you do, though..." She tucked a stray cerulean strand behind an ear, suddenly cheerful once more. "...It's hard to go wrong with you."
"I don't think of myself as a picky person. I'm glad to hear you think so, at least. ...It means a lot."
She beamed. "Of course! Now open this so we could find out where your brother is!" It was pushed into my hands abruptly, and I quickly grasped for the snap holding it together.
It fell to my feet with a click upon the cement, and then the roll was unfurling itself briskly to reveal a small jumble of words. Tana cautiously moved to peer over my shoulder after a minute, giving me time to digest Ephraim's sloppy writing as the whether what I was reading was good or bad. I was so used to seeing it it only took me mere seconds for the words to embed themselves in my mind. I didn't comment.
"That... that's all he said? It would have been so much easier if he had just spoken to you himself, I would think... Instead of going to this hassle?"
You will make a much better queen than Renais knows, I believe. Good luck, Sister, and stay out of trouble.
We'll see each other again.
"Ephraim... you set me up," I murmured.
"Eirika?"
I reached for the snap on the floor, rolling the parchment upon the throw rugs slowly with the other. I didn't need it, but I'd rather not have seen his last words lost with all the other documents that had disappeared during the war.
This one I would keep for us both.
"...He never truly wanted to rule," I explained softly. "He used to tell me all the time how much he would rather be off doing other things... I never thought he'd really leave me behind to rebuild Renais, though, it's ultimately his decision and I can't really be angry with him no matter how much I try." I stood, moving over to his desk where I placed it silently.
"You would let him leave... with an explanation like that?" She looked shocked, and I was able to realize it was more out of her loyalties to me than her understandings of him. I looked to the balcony, motioning, and she followed breezily.
"Tana, it was probably easier on him just to write something instead of to find me in the castle. I mean, certainly, it would have been nice if he had said something, but, I can't honestly hold it against him." I pushed open the door lightly, holding it as she lithely jumped her way through the opening and into the cool morning air. The chickadees were singing, perched along the long railing in pairs and trios. The breeze that blew was soft, and I could faintly make out the conversing of knights in the courtyard below.
"...You are a far better person than I am Eirika. Truly. If Innes did something like that, I'm not sure I'd be able to be as complacent about it as you are." I laughed, placing my arms on the intricate rail to brace myself upon as I peered over the edge.
"Well, he is your brother, after all. You love him. It's only natural that you wouldn't be happy with him leaving." She pouted. "Being upset is justifiable," I reassured.
She sighed anyway. "Yes, but not for you. You hardly ever get upset at anyone or any situations that your placed in. You're always so calm and composed about everything..."
I immediately felt the need to protest. "I do get upset, though, just not often..."
Tana gave me a level look. "...Mmhmm." It was so skeptical coming from her that I had to struggle not to laugh aloud.
"No, seriously... He stole my sword when I was younger and accidentally broke it while sparring. I remember flying off into a rage and father reprimanding me for it... Ephraim later apologized, but not after I clubbed him over the head with it first. Believe me when I say it wasn't the last time, either..."
Her lips twitched, and she giggled. "Yes, but as you made clear, it's all very justifiable. I'd beat Innes if he broke any of my weapons, too!"
"Tana!" She full out laughed, and I shook my head, still staring down into the courtyard. The knights were roaming about, and I spotted Franz and Seth returning from the treeline farther away, a regimen of other knights in the service behind them. Tana followed my gaze.
"...Are you going to call off the search?" she asked softly.
I nodded my head without hesitating. "...Yes. Ephraim obviously doesn't want to be found, and I don't want to make things difficult. This is what he wants, and I can't bring myself to complain about it. No harm's been done. I'm still here to rule in his place... though, it will be difficult..."
Tana bumped my arm lightly with hers. "Well, if you ever need a helping hand, I would hope you know that Frelia is very willing to lend their support to you in the future. After all... that's what friends are for, right?"
I smiled. "Thank you... I truly appreciate your kindness to me. If I could, I would return it to you tenfold, but I'm not sure I could wholly make up for all the times you've been good to me." Tana laughed, heading back for the door.
"...Well, if you really feel that way... you could make it up to me over breakfast? My stomach's been growling for a while now and I'm about ready to eat my soles!" I laughed too, bumping her arm this time.
"And just who's the one making demands now?"
"Admit it. You're hungry, too," she said accusingly, and she did have a point. She gave me a level look and we both laughed in tune, heading inside and out of the frosty morning air. I certainly felt more awake, but I could have done without the cold numbing the back of my arms and likening them to ice.
I heard Tana close the door behind us, and I paused at Ephraim's abandoned desk, debating whether or not to take his final words with me. ...It wasn't going anywhere, and did I truly need it now?
Eirika... aren't you going to take it?" I slowly shook my head.
"No... I... don't think I'll be needing it as much as I thought I would anymore." When Ephraim decided to visit again, and returned to his room, that would be the first thing he would notice. It would be a sign of my success. For both us, and Renais.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes... I have good company who will help me with this if I really need it." I smiled at Tana. "...You will, of course, won't you?"
"I did say I would, didn't I?"
"...I'll be holding you your word, then."
She grinned. "Good. And I'll trust in the fact that you'll be an excellent Queen."