A/N: Another (hopefully humorous) ficlet inspired by Aveline's dialogue during the "Long Road" quest. Nothing you recognize is mine!
Of the many things Donnic had come to know about his wife in the past few years since their courtship and subsequent marriage, one that stood out in particular at the moment was that she had some very…interesting friends. They were all gathered at Lillian Hawke's home to celebrate Aveline and Donnic's third wedding anniversary, mostly because Hawke's mother insisted on throwing a party (probably because Lillian stubbornly refused to marry, and Leandra doted on Aveline as a substitute daughter).
Leandra had prepared a fine feast for dinner (really, there was almost too much food, and most of it had been cooked by the servant girl Orana, even if the lady of the house took credit for it), and after a near disaster had been avoided when Sandal wandered too close to the cake, the evening was winding down. Most of the guests had already presented the couple with congratulations and presents.
Leandra gave them a lovely set of china, Anders yet another version of his manifesto, and Merrill a very pretty bouquet of flowers that she'd picked from the Viscount's gardens (she'd been so proud of her contribution that even Aveline didn't have the heart to chide her about it). Fenris brought nothing, having no experience with weddings or their anniversaries, Varric's autographed copy of the entire bound series of Hard in Hightown earned him a round of laughter from the group and a disapproving glare from Aveline, and even Isabela showed, a bottle of fine whiskey in tow as a peace offering (she and Aveline had never been on the best of terms, especially after Isabela's "friend fiction" incident).
Hawke's gift remained a surprise, and she stood with a ceremonious air. "As we all know, we're here to offer our congratulations to our wedded friends, Aveline and Donnic. My gift to the couple is something very…" she paused dramatically, as if searching for the proper adjective. "…special."
Lillian's choice of words made Aveline's brow rise suspiciously, as the Captain of the Guard knew very well how mischievous of a sense of humor Hawke could have and didn't trust that playful twinkle in her gray eyes.
"Now,…my surprise!" Hawke announced with typical histrionic flair, clearly enjoying the role of hostess. She clapped her hands, and her dwarven manservant Bodahn entered the dining room, accompanied by Orana and Sandal.
It was what they were carrying that made Donnic mimic Aveline's expression, his eyebrows lifting in obvious confusion.
Three goats and a sheaf of wheat.
The farm animals were quite cute, actually, and bleated obligingly, but their vocalizations didn't really do much to explain why they were in the room.
"Tada!" Hawke waved a hand dramatically, presenting her unusual gift. "I couldn't find Donnic's mother, so…here you go! Three years too late, but…"
"Hawke." Aveline's tone was one of warning, her gaze a reprimanding one.
Lillian just stood there, silly, proud grin on her face as an awkward silent pause grew. As if on cue, one of the baby goats bleated, breaking the quiet, and everyone burst into laughter, even Aveline herself. She laughed so hard that tears formed at the corners of her eyes, and she wiped them away.
The only one who didn't seem to be in on the joke was poor Donnic himself, who sat through the entire affair with an expression of utter confusion that he seemed to use solely in Hawke's presence. On the couple's way home, when they were finally alone (except for the one goat they'd decided to take with them, squirming in Donnic's arms) he spoke up.
"What just happened? And what does it have to do with my mother, who's alive and well in Tantervale, I might add?"
Aveline chuckled. "Don't worry about it. It's just Hawke being…Hawke."
After a pause, Donnic summed up the entirety of his experiences around Lillian with one simple sentence. "You have very strange friends, my love."