Hello dear Readers :)
Another little story which came to my mind long ago. Actually I wrote it in German so I have to thank my wonderful Mary for translating this into English.
Hope you enjoy this Little Piece ^^ (at least a bit, it's Kind of bittersweet ;))
„That, what we have, is not for eternity."
He says it flippant.
Without putting particularly resentment or significantly misery in his voice.
Sleepy Thor lifts his head, looks at the slim body, which is dwelling next to him.
The skin is white and shimmering in the in breaking moonlight like silk. Just sporadically the blanket covers the bare flesh. For the roughest part Thor follows his instinct, when he stretches out his arm and pulls the other male to him. As in trance he leans forward and covers the unprotected neck with lazy kisses.
He is blind in the semi-darkness of the room and in this moment his lips have eyes.
Tirelessly he lets them slide over the soft, cool skin. They can´t get enough.
"Why do you say that?" he reproachful blames him, although he knows way too good that that´s the pure truth. Maybe that´s the reason why it hurts so much. Because he refuses to practice acceptance in this way.
Granted, in this aspect he has problems since his youngest childhood days, but this time it´s different. This time it´s not just about himself.
He wishes, that´s never going to be just about himself.
Loki non-recurring makes the effort to face him, staring straight into the void.
It´s rarely silent in the room and Thor gets uncomfortable.
Because he doesn't know what else to do he bombards his brother furthermore with numerous caresses and Loki allows him to. But he returns none of them. Thor recognizes it and soon he is unable to give another touch.
He stops, is content with burying his nose in the dark ravenhair and inhales the familiar, beguiling smell. It also follows no rejoinder.
Loki acts like a corpse.
It gets cold in his chest.
"Loki." He does not say the name, he is cutting it from his lips.
There´s something wistful in it. A pinch of pain mixed in it, refined with a hint of uncertainty.
At last his counterpart stirs.
"I say it, because you have too much anxiety to say it out loud." he explains and despite the gentleness in his baritone there are thorns behind the syllables which are pricking in Thor's heart.
"The thing with us…is not right. It has no future." Loki speaks like an uninvolved. Objectively and without emotions.
Cruel, Thor thinks.
Cruel. And beautiful.
„How do you know that? Did you go among the Norns? " the God of Thunder growls harsher then he wanted to, inhales deeply and conscientiously. He feels an argument coming. He feels it with every fibre of his body, like the rumble of an approaching storm. The same, distressing discussion that they had for centuries. He cannot stand it. And he is sure that it´s disgusting Loki the same way. Perhaps even more than him. But that doesn´t hold him back appealing it again and again. Almost manic. Masochistic.
Unsuccessful. (Because Thor accepts no other result)
Sometimes Thor hates him for that. And then he loves him again. He never stopped loving him and he does not plan to. Loki knows that, calls him an incorrigible and stubborn fool, who doesn´t want to learn from his mistakes. Thor doesn´t care. If the love for his brother is a mistake, then he isn´t interested in correcting it.
"We can´t go on this way, Thor. The people draw suspicion. "
"Since when?"
"You know since when."
Loki turns around finally, and so they´re chest to chest. Warm breath strips Thor's face and he thinks he never was happier, although that may be exaggerated. The sallow light from outside is reflected in pale green. Although melancholy nests in there it is nearly peaceful. And in this second he wishes the night never to end.
"No" he says with approaching despite and he glorifies his glance. "I am unknowing. Narrate."
Loki sighs. Annoyed he raises an eyebrow.
"Today…yesterday evening. You shouldn´t have beaten Fandral to the ground. There were many furies."
"Celebrations are made for Furies." Thor contradicts his brother, but Loki doesn´t apply this.
"It was unnecessary and has caused much attention. And just because he touched my waist. You should learn to restrain yourself. Otherwise the secret is no longer a secret. We would be damned."
Involuntary Thor tenses. Ignores the warning deliberately.
„HE should restrain himself." He says antagonistic and his voice is a thunderous waterfall. „The wine loosens his hands. And lets him forget who belongs to whom. "
„I do not belong to you. " Loki replies calmly and it sounds frumpy, as if a mother speaks to her unreasonable child.
Thor snorts. "To whom do you belong then?"
Loki prances with his pale fingers over his suntanned, width chest. A tender feeling. It arouses desire.
„To myself. " His brother finally answers dreamy and isn´t ashamed. Thor frowns.
"Sounds lonely." he thinks. Loki shrugs weakly.
„That´s how the freedom is like. "
Then he digs his nails deeper in Thor´s strong flesh. He wants to let go, to let go. (But he desperately holds on to, because even he is devoted to the stolidness of the aesirs.)
"This won´t end well." he murmurs and it´s a statement, no threat. "We won´t end well."
"It does not have to be good to exist." Thor objects and Loki rolls his eyes.
„You are talking nonsense."
For the god of Thunder that is a compliment.
"And you are talking too much." he replies, nestles into the pillows and pulls Loki along. "Let´s sleep."
"You can´t stand the truth." Loki says.
Thor grinds his jaw.
"What do you know about the truth?" he asks challenging, "For that you like to lie way too much. You´re not able to be serious."
He knows that it sounds ridiculous. He says it nonetheless. To avoid having to remain silent. Loki looks at him thoughtfully.
"And when I would say that I love you? ", he finally countered. "In spite of everything? Because of everything? What would you do?"
Thor has to smile. THAT`S a stupid question. A very, very stupid one.
"Then I would believe you unconditionally and press my lips against your lips until we both begin to suffocate in our kiss."
For the first time since Thor has awakened from his dawn, Loki smiles. It makes him look alive. Warm.
"That would be a beautiful death. You could spin legends out of it." he whispers. Thor growls with agreement, and closes his eyes.
"We have to stay realistic, Thor" he can hear, but it seems far, far away. "Realistic, you understand?"
"Yeah…yeah, we have to be. To be realistic." Thor mutters without sense and understanding, yawns extensive. „I love you", he adds.
Loki just shakes his head.
„You´re not listening. You´re never listening." He complains and his voice is almost helpless. Plaintive.
But Thor owes Loki an answer.
Because he has fallen asleep long ago. One arm wrapped possessively around Loki's waist.
Hello again^^
Hope you liked it :3
Any comments? Feedback? I would appreciate it very much ^/^'
Love,
Nathaira 3