Why do I care? Why does it matter so much to me that they both left me? Because I raised him? because I always obeyed him? Because I always was willing to give up my life for them? because it hurts to know that all the love I have for them both isn´t returned. They are my family, and if not even my family can love me nobody can.
I smiled at the pretty blond waitress, and took another gulp of my beer. I will have pointless sex tonight, and tomorrow I will leave before she wakes up, because nobody could love me, and I will never let anybody else hurt me by rejecting me. But tonight I need a break from monsters and other fugly beings, from my family leaving me, from loneliness, I need a warm body hugging me, soft lips on mine, to feel safe though I know its a false sens of safety.