FOR SAUCEFACTORY
I wrote this on Tumblr, so please forgive me if I am pulled into the world of feels and Sterek and all things Saucery-related.
Do search me up- I'm eatcatbuffet, and YOU MUST SEARCH UP saucefactory BECAUSE SHE'S AMAZING AND ALL COLOURS OF THE RAINBOW WITH STEREK AND STILES!FEELS. AND THE CAPSLOCK- GOD THE CAPSLOCK.
In Derek's lifetime- twenty-five years of it- he's grown up, matured, come to conclusions, made difficult and easy choices, and realised many things, - as is the way of life.
But at age sixteen he'd learnt to never trust anyone again, and to not let anyone close.
He's hurt and reeling back from shock, like the explosions erupting in his house, his life is razed to the ground, like his house, he's alone, like the ghosts in his house. And Kate- Kate- is gone, like his family.
He vows to never fall for someone, with silly and unnecessary emotions running through his brain like love, and attraction. The Hale house stands tall and naked and burnt black as a memory of what happened that last time he fell in love, trusted somebody with his heart, -felt so safe with them that he'd give his first to them.
His virginity to a slut.
At age twenty-five he wakes up and realises that Laura is gone.
Another part breaks inside.
This time he learns to never let his family out of his sight, and to follow them, and to protect them.
So he returns to Beacon Hills with a heavy heart and a misplaced soul, and visits uncle Peter. And he stays, and he gets his act together and becomes the best goddamn nephew and takes care of him, because he's sworn it on Laura's empty grave behind the corner of the house.
One day he's searching the woods for Laura's other- oh, Laura- and he's annoyed to find two pubescent teenagers lurking about in the underbush.
"It's private property," he growls at them, because the words never let them close, and don't trust anyone float over his heart like a shield.
The second kid- a stocky, skinny thing with way too many moles and freckles over his face to be part of the In-crowd, hastily jumps into a story that's way too detailed to be true, waving his arms all over the place.
He gets the point though, and shimmies the inhaler he found last night, hidden between the leaves, out of his pocket and throws it for the first kid to catch.
Derek turns to leave, because he's pissed off and he's been programmed to leave whenever the air smells too much like teenage hormones on a rampant road rage. (Because the room had smelt like sex and lust and happiness and cum when he'd been with Kate, and it's a smell he doesn't want to remember.)
But apparently, the second kid isn't done with him just yet.
"Hey!" he says, and Derek is surprised to feel a pull near his navel, and turns grumpily to glare at the kid.
"Thanks," he says, and the kid's face changes. His brown eyes shine with warmth and gratefulness, as if they're turning a honey amber colour, and the grin he sports is just about ready to split his face in half, with his rosy cheeks puffed up and his mouth. God, that mouth. Smiling so innocently at Derek, like a lamb is seeking out the protection of a savage, blood-drenched wolf. Pulling him in, like a lone bullet that managed, for just one second, to reach past all of those walls and just touch -featherlight- him where it hurt most, soothing things over.
Before Derek can do anything truly stupid and regretful- like pulling him close and sniffing his scent- a mixture of mint gum and warm showers and wet forest, he turns around and storms off, with the intention to remember that feeling of warmth and happinessas he jacks off in the shower.
He finds out that the kid is called Stiles. Stiles. Seriously, what deprived background did he have to come from that his parents would call him Stiles?
So every time he pictures Stiles he adds things like, idiot, and smartass, and human to his list, and then stamps a bold don't trust anyone and don't let anyone get close over all his tattered feelings.
And before he knows it he's shoulder's deep in their shitty problems. Because he's helping a clueless Scott through his wolf stages, and his throes and pains and his endless pining after a fucking Hunter girl, and he's asking Stiles for help (and since when did that happen that he was stupid enough to come so close to Derek, because it's inevitable that he'll hurt him badly one day, and Derek will not be able to cope with the betrayed look on Stiles' face when it does happen.) And he's blaming it all on stupid hormonal teenagers and their pretty smiles and their honey-amber eyes.
And in the pool- he learns to trust Stiles, to some extent. But it's still trust and it's feeble and tiny and warm and it makes Derek feel good and bad at the same time.
And Derek can't decide whether he should be more surprised that he has a tiny niggling slot open for trust and Stiles and Pack, or that Stiles isn't scared of him any more. That he can just glare right back at Derek when he's blown a fuse and his wolf-impulses make him grab Stiles and slam him into the nearest available surface. That Stiles, even if he is human, like some newborn foal, all vulnerable and unprotected without it's mother anywhere nearby, with ungraceful limbs and a runaway mouth, can still trust Derek, a foul-mouthed, unsociable, aggressive monster.
At age twenty-six Derek learns to be more open, and trust your Pack.
And he's trying- he really is, and he's making progress because Isaac doesn't have that haunted look in his eyes anymore, and Erica can actually speak normally, without her shield of crazy manic lust and bouncy straw-yellow curls, and Boyd asks him for advice every now and again. Jackson is still and asshole but he's not actively making jabs at everyone, and Scott's warming up to the idea of being his Head Beta, and Stiles-
Stiles is goneone day and it's left Derek feeling like a lost pup in a place that's too big and has too many scents for him to grasp anything properly.
And it makes him go absolutely feral.
And his pack don't like the look in his eyes, but they still follow him, edging behind, his anger and hurt and his need to protect the Pack running through their bonds. And it's Jackson that sees the stamp on the window of Stiles' bedroom before they can smell the lingering scents of paint and wolves and warm showers- the stamp of the Alpha Pack.
It's another three hours before Derek pinpoints the smells of Stiles and enemyin an abandoned warehouse forty miles outside of Beacon Hills.
And before anyone can stop him, he gets out of Boyd's mini-van (a gift he helped pay for) and roars. And it's full of anger and hate and don't touch my Pack and, protect.
And in between the confusion of roars and howls and whines and crazed hissing, with claws and glowing eyes and pearly white teeth- Derek finds Stiles. (But he's been fighting off werewolf after werewolf, and he's goddamn glad that he'd drilled his pack into the ground during training, and that they're all going to be very fucking apologetic to him when this is all over-)
He's tied to a chair and gagged, but it's not that that angers Derek the most, it's- his heart is beating like a wild rabbit, and there's rattling, wheezing breaths coming from Stiles, like his ribcage is about to burst open, - he's petrified.
It's the bruising- where red redness of his right jaw meets his cheek and then his neck, and there are faint, teasing, tantalising scratches there, meant to scare the shit out of Stiles. And there's a rough patch on his red hoodie and all over his jeans where there's darkened blood (Derek nearly has an aneurism when he thinks it might be Stiles' body rejecting a Bite) and claw marks, and the side of his head is bleeding, probably where he'd been knocked out, and -
His eyes.
He's biting the gag, and he's leant forward, and his eyes are just swimming pools of dewy tears and pain and Stiles is scared for his life, and that's something that he's never been around Derek.
"Stiles," he says, and pulls the gag down, and his mouth is an abused and angry red, a split lip and Derek can't stop staring.
Stiles murmurs something at him, but Derek's too busy ripping off the ropes, too busy ignoring him, that he can't make out what he's saying. Stiles' legs are tied to the chair, too, and Derek fits snugly between Stiles' thighs, and promptly pretends that he didn't think anything of it.
"Derek," Stiles groans, and he says it so softly, lips chapped and bloodied and so red, that Derek has to lean in closer.
And Derek's not coping so well either at the moment, -his claws hurting so badly, and his head throbbing and everything is tinted red and he can see the scent trails in the room, and the chemicals filling his nose are making him dizzy and the urge to shift is so strong that his fangs are grinding against each other like they'd rather chew something else- so he takes a moment to really lean in and sniff Stiles' scent; of warm showers and cotton fabric and the iron in his blood.
He feels soft lips, so soft and abused and chapped and bloody, press against his face. And Derek's so confused that he doesn't realise that it's a kiss before Stiles pulls away (as much as "away" is when your personal space consists of two inches of breathing room).
"Thanks for getting me," Stiles whispers, voice coarse and ragged and abused, as if he'd been screaming and pleading all afternoon. Derek whines, because Stiles should notbe thanking him, he should be complaining about personal space and sourwolves and bad-mouthing Jackson and pining over Lydia Martin, not, . . .
"They wanted to know- . . . stuff," Stiles says, leaving out everything and nothing and being too conspicuous for his own good. "But I trust you," he adds, and his eyes are dark and shadowed with fear and pain, but Derek can see the swirling pools of joyful amber and melted honey underneath.
Maybe it's the fact that Stiles would rather die than sell him out that makes all don't trust anyones and never get closes disappear, and that he cups Stiles' head gently, so gently, and that he slants a lazy kiss on top of his mouth and rips the rest of the bandages and ropes and duct tape from his body.
AAARGH THE ENDING IS SO SHITTY I'M SO SORRYSAUCERY- I REALLY AM, MAYBE YOU CAN FINISH IT BETTER THAN ME- I DON'T KNOW. YOU MOST LIKELY WILL, BUT-
BONDAGE-FEELS DOES IT.