Author's Note: This is my first time writing for The Big Bang Theory fandom, so I apologize if the characters are OOC. I know the majority of this fandom is pro Sheldon and Penny, who I like together, but after the season four finale and the season five premiere, I've been really into the idea of Raj and Penny.
The song that inspired me for this fic "Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong" by Radiohead, which is where the title comes from. At the beginning of every chapter, I'll post lyrics to the song that the chapter is named after; sort of like how the show takes its episode names from science stuff, but I'm not a scientist nor am I studying to be one, so yeah.
Also, the overall rating for this story is T because there's not enough sex or language for it to be rated M, but some chapters will be rated M for content just so you know.
Before I ask you not to flame me, I have to thank my beta Kat because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be posting this. Seriously. So just be constructive with your criticism, if you have any, that's all I ask.
Prologue: Thinking About You
But I'm playing with myself, and what do you care/When the other men are far, far better
"Thinking About You" - by Radiohead
"Thank you for being my friend."
Like a loop those six words kept playing in Raj's head after he left Amy's apartment.
Even though, he knew deep down trying to start something with Penny was a long shot, he couldn't stop himself from downing two flask's worth of brandy and asking her to 80's night at The Greek. Realistically, he should have known better. She told him herself – while they were drinking wine when he briefly became Sheldon's roommate – that breaking up with Leonard was a big mistake and she never should have done it.
Her feelings for Leonard were definitely an issue, but beyond that a relationship between them would have been impossible anyway. Without the help of alcohol, there would be no way for him to communicate with her due to his selective mutism, and it's not like you can base a relationship on alcohol, he should know.
Not to mention she was a smoking hot babe and he was a cripplingly shy Indian science nerd.
Relationships between people like them only worked out on TV and in the movies. Like in Sexy and the City when gorgeous Charlotte married her highly unattractive Jewish divorce attorney Harry Goldenblat.
In the real world, girls like Penny didn't look twice at guys like him. Sure, she and Leonard had gone strong for awhile, but ultimately they crashed and burned like a meteorite hurdling through space.
Being friends without sprinkles was the only viable option for them, but it still didn't make the reality hurt any less. Especially when he could still feel the warmth of her body heat lingering from when she hugged him. Just like he could still smell her on his clothes; a tempting, tantalizing scent of wildflowers and crisp nectarine.
Sighing, he walked into his apartment and after changing into his pajamas, he decided his telescope would be his best bet for company tonight. Normally, he would have called Howard, but they weren't exactly on the best of terms after Leonard revealed his crush on Bernadette along with the poetry he secretly had been writing for her.
Peering up at the night sky, he looked up at the constellations hoping the various figures would take his mind off of Penny before he did something stupid like down the rest of the alcohol in his apartment and post drunken messages on Amy's facebook wall about her. Or worse, actually call Penny herself and hit on her obnoxiously like he did after he was published in People Magazine.
As much as he longed to be more with her, losing her as a friend would be much worse.
He lingered on the constellation Pegasus longer than the others. The various stars that made up the famed winged horse reminded him of Penny. With her long golden waves of hair, flawless tan skin and beautiful body she was the mirror image of He-Man's twin sister She-Ra. Suddenly, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Sheldon's east Texas twang entered his head.
"Really, Rajesh, how could the constellation Pegasus remind you of Penny? She's a person not a horse with wings. I doubt she'd be very flattered by the comparison. And furthermore, Pegasus is just a winged horse; She-Ra, as any self-respecting human being would tell you, rode a unicorn with wings."
Oh my God, he thought, his face contorting in horror, Sheldon's inside my head!
Quickly, he tried to think of anything but the extremely rigid physicist, but of course his mind brought him right back to Penny. He knew it was useless to think about her, but he couldn't help himself.
They may not have had sex, but in between their rapidly clumsy undressing, there was some damn good clumsy kissing. He knew how she tasted just like he knew how she smelled. Her full lips were just like a fresh raspberry; tart and sweet, the perfect combination to leave you wanting more, and oh yes, he wanted more.
His body temperature began to rise just as his loose plaid pajama pants began to tighten.
Swallowing thickly, he ran a shaky hand through his hair before leaving his telescope behind and seeking refuge in his bedroom.
It was like he never outgrew being a horny teenager, his fantasies getting the better of him and causing him to lose control. What happened in his bedroom was eerily similar to what happened between him and Penny in Leonard's bedroom, the only difference is his own rough, calloused hand brought him to release instead of her smooth, delicately curved hand; not that he wasn't imagining her hand on him because he was.
Sweaty and exhausted, he fell into a restless sleep; his dreams only filled with long golden waves of hair, big brown eyes, raspberry lips and the most beautiful body he'd ever seen.