My Little Pony: A Friend in Need

by ArkenK

Penn Zero, the part time hero and friends Zaps into three of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic characters, including Fluttershy in this short comedy. Enjoy!

My Little Pony Penn Zero: A Pony in Need is a Friend indeed.

In the battle between good and evil, heroes always save the day... except when they don't. That's when Penn Zero would go to work. Zapping through dimensions, becoming a rabbit, robot, or a knight. With Boone and Sashi at his side, they were part time heroes there to fill in to score the goal, battle a zombie, or save the world. Usually they faced off against a part time villain Rippen and his side-kick, Larry.

With the blue crackle of lightning, Phyllis sent Penn Zero and his friends Sashi and Boone into their next mission. As the mist cleared, Penn looked around and saw that Sashi had become a yellowish winged horse with pink mane and pink butterflies on her flank, complete with her ever-present blue rimmed goggles. Boone had turned into a winged gray pony with yellow mane, his ever present pug nose, braces, and bubbles on the flank. Penn, however, had turned into a white unicorn with a blue rimmed, purple shield with star device three stars arranged above the points of the shield making up the mark on his flank. However, for morphic resonance reasons, Penn's fiery red, curly hair had become both the mane and tail, though lightly striped in the middle with a lighter patch, instead of the much more fetching shades of blue.

"So we're ponies now?" Pen said with a touch of bemusement, "I guess the 'mane' thing is we get the job, get it, 'Mane' thing?"

From several feet above, Boone said, "Hey Penn, check this out, I can FLY!"

Boone tried to do a loop de loop, promptly misguided and landed on the ground face first a short distance away. Penn and Sashi trotted over, passing a stone wall in the process, with Sashi sighing and grinding her teeth as she walked.

They did not see the pair of mismatched eyes watching them, intently.

"Will you two take this seriously?" Sashi grumbled.

Pen trotted over to where Boone lay, slightly dazed, and eyes crossed. As Boone clumsily righted himself, Penn said, "Sorry, Sash. You're right."

As they passed another stone wall, Pen said with his usual cheerfulness, "Alright Sash, check the specs."

Passing a third stone wall, Sashi's goggles lit up, projecting the image of Five different ponies in a pentagonal arrangement. The one at the top was purple in color, with unicorn horn and wings. To her left was a blue winged horse with rainbow mane. To her right was an orange pony wearing a cowboy hat. In the bottom left was a pink pony, with pink hair and a goofy grin. Rounding out the five was an elegant white unicorn with purple hair. Sashi said, "Okay, so we're in Equestria, having just left Ponyville..."

"Ponyville, Equestria? Is everything a horse pun?" said Penn rolled his eyes and said.

They continued walking, which admittedly might have been counterproductive, but heroes often tend to randomly choose the right path. Sashi said, "Focus, PZ."

"Sorry, Sash, go on."

"Okay, so the evil Grendel and his army of Grendelites have captured one of Canterlots' five princesses..."

"Canterlot, " Boone repeated with a snicker.

"Boone, don't make me punch you, " Sashi said in irritation as they came upon another stone wall.

"Sorry Sashi, go on, " Boone said a bit more meekly.

"Anyways, of the Mane Six, five have been captured by the Grendel's troops, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack. They're being held at the top of Mount Hoofitaway, which is, of course, an active volcano, with boiling lava and treacherous climb."

At this point in the conversation they passed a mix and match creature, vaguely snake like, with the legs of four different creatures and a dragon's tail, leaning on the stone wall with a rather bemused look upon his face.

With a start, Sashi saw him and immediately turned and said, "That must be one of his minions now!"

Sashi leapt and flipped out to a long kick, perfectly executed. Instead of hitting him, she smashed the wall, as he promptly vanished the moment she attacked. He leaned in from the side above her and said, "My, that was impressive!"

She rolled into a crouch on her hooves and swung her fore hoof out into a trip attack, which he fluttered his mismatched wings to avoid, causing her to knock down more of the wall. Boone looked on baffled while Penn started to say, "Hang on a min..."

But the stranger finished his thought, and said, "Gee, what's with all the violence? I just came by to see..."

Of course, Sashi expertly used that moment to roll on her back and launch both of her hooves upward. He coughed and weezed out, "ouchies?!"

Sashi being Sashi rolled to her feet and prepared to attack him again, when he snapped his fingers and said, "Let's take five, here."

Sashi, Boone and Penn went from combat stances to... sitting at a table covered with a white frilly table cloth, each with their own cup of tea steaming before them, with a lovely white tea kettle in the middle. The stranger's cup had a little chip in it. He turned his head thoughtfully to Sashi and said, "Why I don't think you're Fluttershy at all."

Boone chortled, "Fluttershy?"

"Oh, I wouldn't laugh too much about her name, Muffin, " said the stranger, "or is it still Derpy Hooves? I can never remember. But where are my manners, allow me to introduce myself. I am Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony.

Discord's voice took on a much darker tone as he said, "Now tell me what you've done to Fluttershy.

He then stopped, stroked his beard for a moment, and said, "Wait, Shining Armor, why is your hair red? Are you experimenting with dyes?

He fluttered uncomfortably close to Penn in curiosity and said, "And why is it that no matter what angle I look at, the pattern never changes?"

Penn said, "So wait, are you a villain?"

"Villain, my dear boy... Oh no, I'm reformed these days... mostly. I am however keenly interested in your explanation."

Sashi was still glowering, but she and Boone gave Penn the look that said, "it's your call."

So Penn said, "Okay, Fluttershy is fine. We're Part Time heroes who jump in to take the place of heroes when things are about to go very wrong."

"Really? How lame, it sounds like something Disney would do."

"No we work for a lady named Phyllis, " Boone piped up.

He waved the comment away while sipping his tea and said, "Well why are you here?

Then he stopped, pulled out a pair of old fashioned triangle glasses on a chain put them on, and said, "Discord, Check the Specs."

With that a very similar graphic to what had appeared when Sashi had used hers, save that all the ponies had mustaches, save Pinkie Pie's which had a fake cigar and silly glasses as well. He said, "I see, so Fluttershy escaped from the clutches of the diabolical Grendel and found help in the prince oh-so-charming Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle's brother. And Derpy Hooves came along... for comic relief?"

He waived away the graphics and declared, "Well, we can't have THAT. I have to come along. No one upstages ME! Besides, I really like Fluttershy and don't want to see her hurt. Anyways, you're headed in the right direction."

One would like to say that they quickly put aside their differences and came together immediately for the greater good, but that didn't happen. Instead Discord spent most of the trip trying to make Sashi laugh, which simply worsened her mood, with Penn and Boone getting the worst of it.

Using the magical cauldron, Rippen watched. His form was that of a greenish misshapen creature with arms so long they reached the floor. However, as a part time villain, the morphic resonance bled through in the form of his trademark spiked hair arouse in two large wings to either side, with small tufts between. His red eyes gleamed from an ugly froggish snout as he watched with a snarl the image of the heroes and Discord advancing up the long winding path to Mount Hoofitaway. Sashi was experimenting with flying, and doing fairly well at it. Boone was experimenting with flying, as well, but he pulled a Muffin (or Derpy Hooves, Discord can never remember) crash, which looked rather painful.

From beside him, a much shorter, vaguely froglike creature wearing square yellow glasses piped up, "Isn't it weird how villains always have a way to scry on the heroes?"

From one of the cages of black steel shaped like classic bird cages and suspended over the lava of the volcano via a single long chain secured by a massive pad lock, Pinkie Pie piped up perkily, "I know, right? Are they just lonely? Maybe they need a big hug or a party?"

From a nearby cage Twilight Sparkle tried to teleport again, only to re-appear and smash into the edge of the cage. Applejack commented from a nearby cage, "Y'know, Twilight, I think they meant it when they a'said the cages were magic proof."

Twilight stood, shook her mane and said, "Well it doesn't stop me from trying."

Rainbow Dash was apparently resting between her escape attempts and Rarity seemed to be working on brushing out her tail after complaining forever about how awful the heat was for her mane. Pinkie Pie, on the other hand was in high spirits having bounced all over the cage. She seemed to be bonding with the Grendel's chief minion Larry, much to the Grendel's dismay.

Larry said, "I had a party once! It was for my pet chinchilla, Scruffy. We had cake and brownies and streamers, and Scruffy brought his good friend, Mr. Lion and afterwards we never found Scruffy. I'm sure he's in a better place now."

"You need a certified party pony, like me," Pinkie replied, "to celebrate his return when he comes back."

Applejack rolled her eyes, "I don't a'think he's a comin' back, Pinkie Pie."

Larry said, "Oh that'd be so nice, do you think we could have streamers and Hawaiian shirts?"

Pinkie Pie undeterred said, "Sure, I know a pony!"

"Larry ENOUGH! What have I told you about talking to the prisoners, especially the pink one?" Rippen growled.

"To not to, but she's so CUTE!"

"I don't care, Larry. Focus Please!"

As Rippen growled and ground his teeth, Larry looked abashed. However, with a big smile he said, "Okay Rippen, whatever you like."

"Good, I need to focus, " Rippen said as he looked into the cauldron.

At which point a lion paw shot out of the cauldron with two fingers forward, poking Rippen in the eyes. This prompted a cry of anger and pain from him.

"No spoilers," Discord said as the image dissolved into a green bubbling mass. To make matters worse, it was clear that Pinkie Pie had had the perfect angle to see the whole thing and was having a good giggle.

Rippen ground his teeth, and then yelled, "Minions! Shining Armor and his friends are on their way here. Go stop them."

Larry went to head out when Rippen called out after him, "Not you Larry. I need you close to make sure we don't loose the prisoners, before the other princesses surrender."

As the heroes and Discord, reached the bottom of the hill, Penn asked him, "So you could have all this power, why don't you just zap us to Rippen and be done with it?"

"Me? Oh I couldn't possibly do that. Heroes are supposed to have journeys," Discord replied and then gestured behind him, "and besides, we would have missed this great ambush."

Behind Discord and stretching out entirely too far were far too many grendelites. Sashi turned her yellow head side to side, making cracking noises and said, "Don't worry boys, I got this."

Before Discord could say anything else sarcastic, Sashi tore into the middle of the Grendelittes at full flight speed. The result was like a bomb hitting a small, unsuspecting village, as Grendelites went flying everywhere. Penn squared his shoulders and prepared to charge.

Discord looked over and said, "you know you have magic that will let you project force fields right?"

Penn looked briefly abashed, and then got a creative smile, "Really?"

Seconds later, a massive yellow orb appeared over half the troops Sashi wasn't fighting, while the rest suddenly started finding themselves kicked into the newly appeared wall of force.

Before long, the Grendelites thought better of it and ran for the hills. They went in every direction except Mount Hoofitaway. Discord clapped his hands together and said, "My that was fun."

From the mountain's peak, Rippen watched in annoyance. Larry was still carrying on his conversation with Pinkie Pie which had gotten far enough off track that Rippen had no idea what they were discussing. Rippen snarled, "Larry, they're coming stand by and get ready to release the lock!"

Larry walked over, without breaking conversation with Pinkie Pie, and stood by the big lock. Behind the lock was an oversized key hook. Pinkie Pie had taken to swaying her cage back and forth in amusement, but Twilight Sparkle had fallen silent and looked thoughtful.

The door burst open as Shining Armor Penn burst into the lair, followed quickly by Fluttershy Sashi and Muffin Boone. Penn of course, managed to have the first word, and said, "Let every pony go, Rippen! This is between you and me."

Boone snorted and said, "Heh, every pony."

Sashi kicked him.

Rippen said, "Penn Zero! Well isn't this grand? Surrender now or I'll have Larry unlock that lock over there and drop the princess and her pony friends into the boiling lava. So what do you have to say, my little pony?"

"Y'know Rip old buddy, old pal, that's just not going to do. Why don't you just give up the whole villain thing, " Penn said lighty.

Discord, who had slipped in behind the heroes spoke up, "You know something, Grendel, it's going to be a bit hard to drop them into the lava without the key."

Rippen and Larry both turned to the hook where the key was supposed to be, only to find the hook well and truly empty. In her cage, Rarity made humming noises while the key on it's small ring spun on her horn.

Rippen gave up being subtle and just got angry, he roared and tried to smash his fists into both Penn and Sashi. Penn sashayed to the left, and Sashi took advantage of her wings to barrel roll over Rippen's fist and turned around to deliver a massive kick to his chest, just in time for Penn to position Shining Armor's horn perfectly. The angry scream of pain was worth it. Meanwhile, Boone and Larry ended up standing next to each other and watching the chaos. Discord popped up between them and handed them both a red and white box of popcorn.

In the middle of the fight, Penn yelled out, "Discord you could help, you know."

"Help? Me, oh that is so not my meme."

"Do Something at least," Penn spat out.

"Oh fine, as you wish Mon Capitan."

As Rippen thrashed to the side, Discord handed Larry and Boone little flags with a "P" and "R" respectively. Boone waved his flag in his mouth and fluttering his wings while Larry held his, unsure of what to do. Meanwhile, Pinky Pie was cheering on Shining Armor and Fluttershy with pom-poms from inside her anti-magic cell. On the other hand, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack were actively discussing something. Rarity however, was simply watching the chaos.

Rippen swung a hard blow to the side, while Sashi took advantage of Fluttershy's wings and hooves to knock him down. Meanwhile Boone fluttered away from the cheering section. Discord took over with the same level of enthusiasm. Sashi dropped her rear hooves hard onto somewhere sensitive on Rippen, causing him to burst in a stream of angrish.

Suddenly Larry said, "Hey where'd Penn go?"

That's when both Rippen and Sashi stopped and looked. Penn had been busy. First, he'd created a dome of energy over the volcano high enough to reach the cages. Then he'd walked out onto it and proceeded to use his horn to pick the lock, letting out the rest of the Mane Six, who were rapidly coming down the dome and onto the rocky ledge with varying levels of anger, determination, and Pinkie Pie-ness. Penn said, whirling his horn a bit, "Well Rip old buddy looks like you loose."

Rippen spouted angrish and said, "Larry get over here! It's time to finish this."

"Bored now, " Discord said, snapping his fingers, and both disappeared suddenly.

Twilight Sparkle looked worried and said, "Where did you send them?"

Discord smiled and said, "Oh straight up, wanna see?

He snapped his fingers again, they reappeared hugging each other and screaming noisily until he snapped his fingers again.

"You know, the key to good comedy is repetition.

Discord snapped his fingers again and they reappeared. screaming even louder. Then he snapped his fingers yet again and they vanished again.

"Okay Discord, that's enough, " Twilight Sparkle said firmly.

He looked hurt as he said, "But it's so much fun.

With a heavy sigh, Discord said, "Oh fine, I'll be 'good.' He snapped is fingers, leaving Rippen and Larry safely inside the very cages that had just held Twilight Sparkle and Pinky Pie. He finished with an amused smile, "Well that was fun. It's rare I get to have some Discord Ex Machina."

With that he patted Sashi Fluttershy on the head and said, "you are the cutest little thing I've seen, but I'd really like my friend back."

Penn said in amusement, "Well we'll be on our way."

With a blue flash Fluttershy's glasses disappeared at the same time Shining Armor's mane resumed it's classic colors, and Derpy Hooves, Or Muffin (Discord can never remember) resumed her normal non-braces wearing appearance.

Fluttershy turned beat red as her friends crowded around her. Rainbow Dash flew around her at full speed creating her eponymous rainbow, and said, "That was so amazing! I didn't know you had that in you!"

"Oh my, I don't know what you're talking about," Fluttershy said in confusion. Rarity dropped the key on the floor as she trotted over to her confused friend to comfort her, and compliment her.

Twilight Sparkle came up beside her brother and said, "Thank you for the rescue."

"We're family. Family always looks out for each other, Princess," Shining Armor said with a smile. Then his face clouded with a touch of confusion and he said, "I just wish I could remember more of it."

Meanwhile Pinkie Pie was busily bouncing everywhere, and Derpy Hooves, or Muffin (Discord can never remember) got startled a particularly large and happy Pinkie Pie bounce and took flight to leave, only to manage to smash into a half a dozen stalactites, and landed dizzily. Twilight Sparkle turned to Discord and asked, "Did you have something to do with Fluttershy's bravery?"

"I? Not a thing, princess, " Discord said primly. At her look of sheer disbelief, said, "Honestly! I had nothing to do with her moment of epic bravery. I just tagged along...

And then Discord lied a little, because he felt he had to, "... err because it looked fun, and I so need amusement in my existence."

From the cells, Rippen shouted to the ponies, "HEY, Enough with the mushy reunion! Could you let me out of here if I promise to be good?"

Twilight Sparkle looked at Shining Armor in thought. In response, he said, "No, I think maybe you should enjoy that little cages and think about what you've done. Some of the Royal Guards will come and let you go later, if your own people do not let you go first."

Rippen exploded in angry, incoherent ranting. At the same time, Larry amused himself by swinging the cage back and forth.

With that the Mane Six, Shining Armor, and Muffin, or Derpy Hooves (Discord can never remember) headed home, letting the angrish rant fade into the distance.

About a half a second after they were gone, Discord popped in moved the key half an inch, turned to the side, put his clawed finger to his lips, and popped out again.

Rippen shook his head, and said, "What was THAT all about? At least the heroes are gone, and there's nothing to stop me from coming up with a new plan."

As he did so, there was a series of resounding cracks, and the stalactites that Derpy Hooves, or Muffin (Discord can never remember), suddenly came crashing down sticking into the floor upright in a sequence that left the key bouncing between them, where it landed in the lock, but didn't turn.

Larry was still actively swinging his cage and completely missed how close the came for disaster. Rippen sighed, "Well that was close."

Then one of the fallen stalactites fell over and turned the key, unlocking the lock. The chain fell loose and Larry's cage swung up luckily launching him safely onto the ledge. Rippen on the other hand, was particularly unlucky. His cage went straight down.

Penn Boone and Sashi returned to the movie theatre and went on their way home.

A short time later a crisped Rippen and Larry emerged from the Fish Stick store next door.

In Equestria, Discord looked at Fluttershy and said, right before vanishing, "There you are."

As the Mane Six, Shining Armor, and Derpy Hooves or Muffin (Discord can never remember) got to the base of the mountain, the grendlings came charging up spoiling for another battle. They took one look at Fluttershy. As one they screamed as they ran away, "Arrgh! Not her! It's Fluttershy the fierce!"

Fluttershy looked surprised and said, "What was that all about?"