Love Lost Found
It's funny how life works. I never thought my life would bring me to where I am today. Throughout my life people were always leaving and breaking their promises. My parents were constantly working and traveling and never noticed me. I could never depend on anyone until I met Adam. I was 13 years old when we moved to Raleigh, North Carolina. The new girl in town and having to adjust to a something new wasn't something I was very good at; I hated change. I remember walking in on my first day and just saw eyes on me. I felt my heart beating so fast and my hands started to get clammy. I went to the office where I bumped and fell into the most beautiful boy I had ever laid eyes on, "whoa! I'm sorry," he said.
"No, no it's okay. My fault."
That's when our eyes met. Taking a deep breath and realizing I couldn't seem to focus, I looked deep into his blue sparkling eyes. Something in me ignited and I knew he was the one that would save me.
"You must be the new girl. I'm Adam," as he reached out his hand.
"Hi. I'm Julie," when our hands touched a smile formed on his face. I felt my face go crimson and I turned my head away.
"Let me show you around buttercup," he laughed.
Buttercup? I thought.
"You smell like a mix of vanilla and buttercup and I like buttercups so that's what I'll call you," he said laughing. It was as though he could read my mind and knew what to say to make me smile.
And that was the start to our friendship. We did everything together from graduating middle school to entering high school. He became the star quarterback on the football team and thanks to Adam's constant nagging I was on the cheerleading team. It was his way for us to spend time together. I told him my deepest secrets and he confided in me with his true side, the side that Adam only shows when he knows he can trust someone. He knew that my parents often left me to my own demise, which was great for him because he was able to stay over at my house and kept me company. We never did anything sexual. He was a perfect gentleman even though I wished he would make a move. During the school day we went on field trips together, were in the same classes, and went to the junior prom and senior ball together. It was us against the world. Now here we are, 15 years later, laying in bed together in New York City. I could never tell him how I felt and he never told me so we just remained best friends, inseparable.
"Good morning," I whispered.
"Good morning buttercup. How long have you been up?" Adam stared into my eyes with his bright smile. I loved the way he made me feel and how being with him made me feel important and special.
"Not long. Do you want to go out for breakfast?"
Adam stirred and stretched as he tossed around grumbling. His toned and tanned body looked incredible and I got to be with him each and every day, "sure where do you want to go?"
"Let's go to the corner bakery! I want a blueberry muffin."
"Alright sounds good. Let me get ready."
Watching him move so lightly across the room, stretching and putting on sweats and a hoodie. God he looked amazing. I wanted him to tell me how he felt and wished he felt the same way. There were signs like him always wanting to spend time with me, we never dated other people in high school or college and we slept together almost every night in the same bed. Nothing ever happened. He would give me a kiss on my forehead every night and I would lie in his arms but he never said anything about taking our relationship to the next level.
We both worked at Anderson & Parker, a successful and prestigious advertising company. We've been working there for almost 5 years. About a year ago, Adam became partner and I became the executive lead for the newest campaigns. The hours were long and brutal but working along side Adam made it all worthwhile.
"Hey come on lets get going Julie."
It was a cool and sunny Sunday with little clouds in the sky. The sun was starting to shine through the light clouds. There was a quiet and delicate breeze in the air. It was oddly quiet this morning but very peaceful. This was our usual Sunday breakfast outing together. We would wake up, get dressed in our comfortable clothes and head to a bakery for muffins, water and croissants. With my arm latched on to Adam's I thought life couldn't be better, "what'd you want to do tonight?"
"Oh I didn't tell you. I have a date with Wendy tonight. She's taking me to the opening of Blu."
"What? Wendy?" I was shocked. Adam hadn't been on a date in years and out of nowhere he dropped this bomb on me. I glared at him with question and worry in my eyes. My stomach was doing flip-flops and I felt light headed.
"Yeah she asked me on Friday if I'd go with her," he explained. His voice sounded cautious and husky, "I didn't have any plans so I didn't think it'd hurt to go. Do you want to come along?"
Yay the third wheel, I thought. "No it's okay! Go have fun. I'm just going to put the finishing touches in the presentation tonight. Fun," I whispered.
We got to the bakery and ordered two blueberry muffins, two bottles of water and two chocolate croissants. Two of everything. That's how it was for the past 15 years with Adam. I wasn't sure how I felt with him going on a date with Wendy. Ugh, Wendy. She was the leggy, blonde bombshell who works with us as a receptionist. She would stare at him with sex in her eyes. I mean who didn't? Adam was a tall, sexy, blond hair, blue-eyed man with an amazing body and muscles in all the right places. His hair was always done in a spiky do and looked as though he just got home from the Bahamas. There were rumors going around that she had her eyes set on Adam but I didn't want to believe what people were saying. Sure she was beautiful and always looked like she stepped out of a salon but how could she make him happy? All she saw was outside, confident, sexy Adam not deep, sensitive, heart of gold Adam.
We walked out of the bakery, arm in arm and headed back home. Our spacious 2-bedroom apartment had a modern feel to it. The living room had a black love seat and a black L shaped couch with a silver glass table in the middle. The floors were hard wood and the kitchen had everything a chef could possibly want since Adam was the head chef in our apartment and I was the sous chef. There were pictures all over, some of us growing up and others of our family and friends. I had an interest in contemporary art and we had paintings all over. We got settled on the floor in the living room where we always had Sunday breakfast and just relaxed.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"Oh, nothing. Just trying to figure out how to present these ideas to Parker tomorrow" I lied. I could feel the sadness growing inside my heart. I keep wishing that Adam would see me as a girlfriend instead of his best friend. I could be both; his girlfriend and best friend. I suddenly felt the urge to take him and kiss him all over. Be with me Adam I thought.
"You'll do great buttercup. Just remember to breathe and know that I'll be right there by your side." His eyes gazing into mine. "I will always be by your side Julie." He leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
I flushed a deep red."Thanks Adam. I'm just nervous that's all."
"What have I always told you? You are a star. A shining star who can light up a room with just one smile. You're smart and driven and know how to get your point across. You'll do great babe I know it."
Our time together was something I always looked forward to. It was nice to be with just him. I looked over at Adam, his deep blue eyes just looked like heaven. I just wanted to run my fingers through his wavy blonde hair to hold him and never let go. I wanted him so bad. But I didn't want to ruin anything. Adam was my life and I wouldn't know what to do if he ever left.
It was 6 o'clock and Adam was getting ready to leave. Looking amazing in his fitted black suit, blue shirt and blue and black tie. That suit did wonders for his perfect body. We worked out 5 days a week together doing everything from cardio, kickboxing, yoga, lifting and zumba. Yes Adam doing yoga and zumba. Boy could he move. All the women at our gym eye fucked him-his god like body, firm ass and an incredible defined everything.
"Wow look at you hottie mchot!"
"Shut up!" Adam laughed, "it's nothing. I don't know do you think I should go?"
No! "Adam you can't stand her up! Just go and have fun!"
"Are you sure? I can stay home with you tonight, tell her I don't feel good."
"Adam, go and have fun. Let me know how it goes ok!? I'll sleep in my room tonight just in case sexy eyes decides to stay for breakfast."
Adam walked over to me and held my hands. Looking deep into my eyes he asked, "are you sure?"
What was I suppose to say? Beg him to stay? I didn't want to look pathetic but I didn't know what else to do, "Adam go!"
"Alright..Call me if you need anything alright?" Adam said softly.
"Fine" I laughed.
And there he left, out the door, to spend the night with Wendy.
I couldn't sleep. It was 11:30 and Adam still wasn't home. I checked my phone every second but nothing. Looks like he was having fun. Why did I let him leave? Should I text him? Tell him I don't feel good? Tell him I don't feel safe by myself? God, why was this so hard? Of course I want to see him happy, but with me!
The door opened and closed, click. I closed my eyes and pretended I was sleeping. I heard footsteps approaching my room and felt his eyes on me.
"Hey" he whispered, "you up?"
"Hey" I yawned, "how was it?"
"It was actually pretty good. Wendy's fun. She wants to get together again but I don't know. I mean we work together and I don't want to make it weird. What do you think I should do?"
"I think you should do what makes you happy Adam."
"Yeah, happy," there was a twig of sadness in his voice. "Alright want me to sleep here with you or do you want to head over to my room?"
I sat up on my elbows and looked over at him, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing why do you ask?"
"I don't know you seem weird that's all." I reached out my hand for his and started stroking his knuckles. I could see that perfect smile forming on his face but wasn't sure why there was agony in his eyes, "you know you can tell me anything Adam, I'm here for you through thick and thin."
He sighed and looked away, "yeah I know Jules. I'm just tired and stressed. Parker has been hammering on and on about these campaigns and wants to nail them."
"Alright well you know you and I make a great team. We're the dynamic duo. We got this. You'll be impressed with the presentation on Friday and everything will work out. It always has."
"I guess."
"Alright come on let's get some sleep Adam" I giggled.
Watching him strip down to his boxers made me smile. God I loved watching him move. He climbed into bed and under the covers, kissed me on the forehead and went to sleep. I couldn't help but feel as though something was troubling him. Usually he would tell me without me having to beg him. The last time Adam acted like this was when he had to decide if he wanted to go to California for school or come with me to New York. Decisions. He wasn't a great decision maker with his life and whenever he made a decision he thought of me and how it would affect our friendship. I wonder what decision he was playing around with now.
The next few days went by pretty fast and before I knew it was Friday. My presentation was a hit. Parker loved everything about what I suggested and how we can gain and grab the club vodka and party girl labels. The smile on Adam's face made me feel like I did the right thing and I knew that we would take the lead together with the campaigns. Parker immediately announced that I would head the two new campaigns and Adam would overlook the projects. I was excited because I got to be able to work with Adam again. We made a great team. The reason why they made him partner was because from the day we started we landed five multi million dollar deals and impressed Anderson and Parker. Our team would be comprised of Adam, Ethan, Kelly and myself.
Ethan and Kelly were great friends of ours and made us feel welcomed since day 1. Kelly was my first friend in New York. She was a pretty petite girl with brown hair and green eyes. She was 27 years old and grew up in New York. Her family came from big money and her father knew everyone. Ethan was your every day looking country boy. He grew up in the mid-west and came to New York to start a new life. He was 6'0, curly, short blonde hair and blue eyes. He had an athletic build and was an absolute charmer. They were great friends and I knew that the four of us would be able to land club vodka and the party girl label.
When I told Ethan and Kelly the great news, Ethan suggested we go out and celebrate. Usually it was Adam and I celebrating but Miss Sex Eyes was whisking him off to Blu so they can have their own private party. It was pretty clear that he liked her and I was just the simple best friend. "Come on Jules lets go celebrate! It's been a long week and Sam Adams is calling my name! Adam you coming?"
Adam looked over at Wendy but she didn't say anything, "you know count me out tonight guys I'm sorry. But have fun and be safe." Adam looked over at me and frowned. He turned his head back to Wendy, took her hand and started walking away. I could feel my heart breaking because I knew from that moment I was losing him.
"Hey girl come on let's head out," Kelly said happily. She was the only person that knew how I felt about Adam. She tried to make me forget about him but it was a losing battle.
The spot was packed tonight but Parker told us to not worry about the tab and that the company would pay for our night out. Ethan ended up landing a VIP booth with bottle service and it was shot after shot, "are you having fun?" he yelled.
"Oh yeah! Come on Kell lets dance!"
I grabbed Kelly's arm and we made our way to the dance floor. I let the music flow through my body as I moved and danced to the hot beats of David Guetta and Nicki Minaj, "shake it girl!" Kelly yelled.
I definitely needed to go out and get my mind off of Adam and Wendy; this was so needed. Ethan and a few other guys from the firm joined us on the dance floor with more drinks. At this point I wasn't sure how I was still dancing and let alone standing. All I could do was laugh and dance my ass off. I saw the smile creeping along Ethan's face. I knew he had a crush on me but Ethan was just a good friend.
"Damn Jules I didn't know you could move that way," Ethan said as he started dancing towards me. He grabbed my waist and pulled me in closer.
"There's a lot you don't know about me," I said breathlessly.
Our bodies moved together with ease and I felt his erection growing through his sleek gray pants. I looked up in his eyes and felt the desire growing inside, "why don't you let me get to know you a little better?"
"Ethan stop," I laughed, "we're friends!"
"Jules you're so beautiful," Ethan whispered as he started caressing my lower back. His face inched closer to mine and he leaned in to kiss me. His soft lips touched mine but then the kiss turned into passion, full of urgency. I slowly opened my mouth and welcomed his tongue in. Our tongues swirled around one another and I felt my heart beating faster and faster. I pulled away and looked at him.
"Ethan," I said breathlessly. I didn't know what else to do but pulled his head back down to mine as we continued our dance.