"Happy birthday dear Remmie…. Happy birthday to you!!!!" Sirius Black cried at the top of his lungs far too early on May twenty-second; Remus Lupin's birthday.
"Thank you," Remus said stiffly, then he flopped back into his pillows and tried to get back to sleep. Unfortunately, he was at school with Sirius.
"How old are you? How old are you? How old are you… How old are you?" Siriuscontinued. James Potter snickered from his bed for he'd gotten the same treatment on his birthday. "How old are you?" Sirius asked with the air of someone who'd just realized that they'd missed something.
Remus sighed, "I'm as old as you are," he said almost irritably, but it was his birthday and his up-bringing had pounded into his head that he was to be cheerful and polite on that momentous day celebrating none other than him.
"Which would be…" Sirius counted quickly, "seventeen! I can't believe our little Remmie's growing up!"
"Yup," Remus said quietly, "I'm younger than you…" he murmured disbelievingly.
Sirius beamed, "And so much less mature," he said sarcastically, "what terribly evil, disgusting, dirty thing do you want to do to the Slytherins first?" he asked excitedly, "How much detention are you going for?"
"None," Remus said, hastily sitting up, "Can't we bag this tradition?"
James gasped, "No! Remus Lupin! You terrible, terrible Marauder! You can't possibly be thinking of giving up a ritual! One of the only things to keep us together during these cold winter nights!"
"It's almost summer," Remus said obviously, just to break up the speech.
Sirius ignored James and kept up where James stopped, "these few short weeks before we leave this castle and never see any branded Slytherins! It'll be so much harder!"
James nodded, "Peter got three weeks!" he exclaimed, "just to show his dedication!"
"Why didn't either of you get any detention?" Peter asked from behind his still-drawn
curtains.
"Marauders don't get caught." Sirius said shortly, "at least good ones don't."
"That's not to say that you're not one of us," James remedied, "we're just…" he hesitated, not sure how to continue.
"More able," Sirius finished for him.
"Perhaps a tiny bit more skilled," James agreed, "but that work painting Snivellus red was lovely," he praised.
"Thank you." Peter said dryly, "but you could have told me there was a spell."
"You should have asked Moony," Sirius said obviously, "which brings us back to the original question: what are you going to do to them?"
Remus grimaced, "How about we hang a gigantic banner proclaiming the Slytherins love for puppies, and charm and whole bunch of them to stick to Snape like magnets," he said sarcastically.
"Perfect." Sirius said happily.
"What can we transfigure into puppies?" James asked distractedly.
"I'll do the banner," Peter said, trying to help.
"Guys?" Remus asked.
Sirius grinned excitedly, "Prongs, do you remember the spell we learned in fourth year, to transform paper into animals?"
"Of course," James said, already pulling spare parchment bits out of his trunk.
"Hello?" Remus tried again.
"And the one from forever ago to change parchment color," Sirius said, trailing off,
hinting at his diabolical master plan.
"Of course," James said again.
"Pink, purple, blue, red and gold puppies, anyone?" Sirius asked, the excitement bubbling in his chest.
"Hola?" Remus asked.
"Just don't transfigure the Map by mistake," Peter warned.
"Bonjour?" Remus cried.
"Only you could do that," James reprimanded.
"Parlez vous Francais?" Remus asked.
"Only once!" Peter cried, "and you fixed it!"
"But we had to catch it first," Sirius reminded him, "damn thing still turns green if you say that spell around it."
"Guys!" Remus shouted.
James grinned, "How did you turn it into a toad?"
Sirius nodded, "If you wanted something to love you badly enough that you'd settle for that excuse for a pet, you should've found a first year. They're always fun."
Peter looked shocked, "Sirius!" he cried, "They...they're so little!"
"Hello?" Remus asked again, more desperately.
Sirius tilted his head, "if you asked the right one, you'd never know they were eleven,"
"HELLO???" Remus shouted.
"What?" Sirius and James snapped together.
Remus rolled his eyes, "We aren't turning anything into anything, and that nothing is not sticking to Snape."
"Why not?" James asked, clearly upset.
"Got a better plan?" Sirius asked, an almost evil glint in his electric blue eyes.
"Yes." Remus said nervously, "It goes like this……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….."
There was silence for a moment or two, "I don't get it," Peter said unhappily.
Remus rolled his eyes, "We aren't doing anything."
"Damn prefects," James muttered.
"Ruin everyone's fun." Sirius agreed.
"No prank?" Peter asked dejectedly.
"Of course there'll be one," Sirius assured him, "just the stupid prefect is going to report
us."
Remus looked hurt. "When have I ever reported you?" he asked quietly.
"When we blew up the toilets last year!" James exclaimed obviously.
"That was great," Sirius commented.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," James said poetically.
Sirius' eyes dimmed. "Correction: it was great until one of our own turned us in."
Remus sighed. "McGonagall said she'd take my badge if I didn't report someone. And I already apologized for that."
"That's true," James agreed, "and he already paid the price."
"Still can't believe you ate that worm," Sirius said disbelievingly.
"Anything to make up for what I did," Remus said honestly.
Sirius frowned. "Sorry". He really was apologetic for bringing up the sore subject again.
"That's alright." Remus said quietly.
"Shall we get this pranking train moving?" James asked excitedly.
"How will we make the puppies stick?" Remus mused.
"Haha!" Sirius exclaimed triumphantly, "You'll join us!"
"Of course," Remus smiled, "it's my birthday."