Kagome Higurashi bid goodbye to her friends after school as she began the long walk home. She maintained a slow unhurried pace, allowing her to take in the sights and sounds surrounding her. The sun just managed to peep in through the grey clouds looming overhead. It didn't look like it was going to rain anytime soon, although some might have deemed the weather to be depressing. Tree leaves shifted ever so slightly in the wind, making a soft rustling sound, as if whispering age-old secrets to one another.
She sighed as she shuffled along, tired from the day's work. She was now seventeen years old. It had been three months ago when they had all fought against Naraku, and finally defeated him. The sacred jewel was complete, Miroku's wind tunnel had vanished, Sango had been reunited with Kohaku, and Inu Yasha…her heart ached to even think of him. Her eyes burned with unshed tears, but she held them back.
She stopped walking and leaned heavily against the railing that separated the street from the sea. The waves were crashing against the rocks, foaming at the edges. It seemed like they were a reflection of her current state. Her large brown eyes swirled with tumultuous emotions.
Inu Yasha. She still remembered the way it felt to be in his arms. Those strong protective arms that never failed to make her feel safe. She still remembered the slightly rough texture of his red kimono when she rubber her cheek against his chest. She still remembered his scent, the scent of pine and moist grass. She still remembered the way the wind ruffled his soft, silver hair. She even remembered the way his ears would twitch whenever he heard something, or when he was just plain annoyed.
He said he wanted the sacred jewel so he could use it to become full demon. But after those months and months of fighting evil demons and hunting for the shards, something in him had changed. Perhaps it was being in the presence of friends who accepted and loved him for what he was. Perhaps he just realized his strength came from his half-demon nature. Who was to know? At the end, all he said was to get rid of the sacred jewel, so that it would never fall into the wrong hands again, or to put it in his own words, "Feh! I'm not gonna go chasing some more crazy pathetic demons who think they can beat me".
So he had decided to remain as he was. She thought about the last time she saw him. It was a beautiful night. Sky studded with millions of stars, air crisp with a hint of spring, owls hooting in the distance. She was going to go home for a test and come back in two days. She had considered the fact that she didn't really need to come back to the Feudal period anymore but she wanted to. She missed her friends. She missed Inu Yasha. So she'd just settled for regular goodbyes. Which meant that she had argued once again with Inu Yasha about something inconsequential and both of them had been too enraged to do more than grunt at each other before she jumped into the well and back into her own time.
How she wished she had parted on different terms now. She hadn't even hugged him. She tried going back two days later, as promised, but the bottom of the well remained solid under her. Initially, she had been confused. A little bubble of panic clawing at her throat, she tried again, but again, she ended with the same result. Steadily growing more and more scared, she tried yet again, and again, but with no success. As she lay there, crouched inside the well, she clawed at the sides, at the bottom, ripping dried grass out, trying to dig into the dirt. Her fingers were cut and bleeding but she didn't notice as she pounded her fists on the floor, wracking sobs breaking out. Despair was slowly engulfing her, but she still refused to believe that she couldn't cross over anymore. Throat aching with tears and pain, she began screaming, crying, calling out to him over and over. But he didn't come.
She didn't have the sacred jewel anymore, she could no longer cross over to the feudal era.
Her mother had found her there, hours later, collapsed in a heap of blood and tears, face streaked with dirt.
For a whole week, she had simply lain on her bed, refusing to eat or to drink, only relenting when her brother Souta asked her with pleading eyes. The first few days, she was still hopeful. Maybe Inu Yasha would come to see her. He would be too worried to simply sit there. And he never needed the sacred jewel to come see her. But as days turned into weeks, her last hope slowly dwindled into despair. He was not coming. He couldn't. The well was sealed, for whatever reasons.
She still tried to jump in the well, whenever she couldn't sleep, which was almost every night. Every single night she would dream of him. His touch, his eyes, his voice. She would dream she was sitting with him in the rolling green fields, she would dream she was arguing with him. Ordering him to sit. Making love with him. Holding him in his sleep when he was plagued by nightmares. Staring into his amber eyes as the light of the dying fire danced in them. Talking to him about her school difficulties. Being silent with him.
It was almost as if he was with her. She would long to sleep so she could lose herself in dreams of him. She would yearn to lose consciousness if only to catch another glimpse of him. She couldn't cry anymore. There were no tears left. There was just pain. A deep, haunting sadness that made her feel hollow. As empty as her life had become without him.
She was tired of waking up every morning, forcing herself to follow the daily routine. She was too strong to lie down and stop living. But she wasn't strong enough to force any life into her actions, her words.
Her heart yearned for him with a need so deep she felt her body ache. Her eyes no longer sparkled with her usual enthusiasm, instead being replaced by a dull glaze that was forbidding in its emptiness. Her limbs moved as if in response to some instinctive orders her body issued her.
She would never see him again. Never hold him again. Never feel so safe in any man's arms. Never want to belong to someone and have someone belong to her so much. Never feel so at peace with someone one moment and feel so furious she could kill him the next. She never told him she loved him before she left. She didn't even embrace him before she left. She didn't tell him how much she needed him, how much he had done for her, and how he helped her complete herself.
Kagome watched as the waves continued to slam against the rocks, making a thunderous sound. No, she couldn't cry anymore. She had no more tears left.
"Inu Yasha…you idiot…" she whispered, as a solitary tear trailed down her cheek, sparkling as it caught the light.