Hungry
I'm really not hungry all the time. Okay, a lot of the time cuz the steam buns are just so good and I love the BBQ pork centers and the KFC chicken when we stop there for lunch is amazing crunchy good! Okay, need to bring the voice back down a little or dogs are gonna be howling all over the place. And rice balls, must have rice balls too. But other then that, I really don't wanna eat every second of the day.
I just want him to notice me. Him, you know, Sanzo.
Even if all he ever does is yell and whap me with that big stupid fan of his, at least he knows I'm alive.
Ever since he started having sex with Gojyo.....yeah, I know what they're doing. It's not like some big secret or something. Cuz me and the whole world can hear them through the walls at night. Geeze that pervey kappa sure is loud. Sanzo at least is pretty quiet, so quiet that I think Gojyo must be jerk'en off after Sanzos' gone to sleep and making noise for everyone to think he's some kind of a big stud. Gojyo would do something dumb like that.
Do I want Sanzo to want me like...you know...that? Thought I did once. Until I got to see them by accident; looked through a crack in the shutters one night on the way back from the outhouse and they had the light on and........................ewwwwwwwwww! That's what grown up people do?! Gojyo had his thing in Sanzo's......Yucckkkkkkkkkk! No way no how!
Sex is kind of like coffee and cigarettes. Everyone talks about how great they are until you see what it's really like and all it does it make you cough or wish you didn't swallow. Sigh. Maybe it's what Hakkai says, 'it's an acquired taste."
What do I want...want...just....I just want him to see me. Know I exist. Be there and want me around, like we were before this stupid mission. Like when we'd nap on the floor on hot summer afternoons back at the temple. Sanzo and me would curl up on a shady piece of floor with a can of soda next to our heads. I would watch the condensation bead up and roll down the can to puddle on the floor, Sanzo would run his fingers through those droplets and then rub them across his nose, past his lips to the tip of his chin. Then, he would fall asleep. Sanzo looked so pretty back then.
Now he just looks pinched and pissed or is pinched and smirky.
I need.....what, oh Hakkai. You're going to the market place. CAN I GO TOOOOOOOO?!!!!! And can we get pork buns and shaobing and KFC? I'm hungry!