Missing!
By: NellySama
A/N: Since I haven't written an actual fanfic since, "A Millennium Road Trip", I thought it was time yet again. Also I have to learn that not everyone likes reading script format. T.T Lame-ohs. I love first chapters, because it involves me talking a lot, and lots of stuff being explained. Heh, Heh. Now for explanatory substance! Deidara is a hermaphrodite...cuz i said so.
Series: Naruto -no der- Genre: Humor, Mystery -dun dun dunnnnn- Extreme out of character -ness Characters: Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Orochimaru Setting: Akatsuki Tower -made up building- Back when Orochimaru was still a member of Akatsuki..or Dawn as some people call it. Rating: t-for language, maybe? Format: Un-Script. TT.TT Wish me luck. Parings: Slight Itachi Kisame ness, cuz Itachi is being adorable.
Summary: Its a peaceful day at Akatsuki Tower, until there is a blood curdling scream. Two things from Itachi's room have gone missing! Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, and Orochimaru go on a mini-quest to find the missing items and to figure out just what they are.
Disclaimer: -ponders- I think it might be a good thing that I don't own Naruto, or else there'd never be a serious moment, just dancing all day long.
Chapter One, Interrogate Me!
It was a lovely Saturday in spring. The birds were chirping, children playing in the surrounding villages. Deep in a forest stood the overbearing Akatsuki tower, which was built in the shape of a red cloud. It was inhabited by the Akatsuki members, who were laying about their house, eating, sleeping, gaming, cooking, brushing their hair, or painting their nails. All was peaceful, until a blooding curdling scream cut through the warm air like a hot knife cutting through melted popcorn butter.
Deidara, Kisame and Orochimaru rocketed up the stairs to Itachi's room, where the door was wide open. Kisame peered into the room, sword at the ready.
"Itachi-kun...?"
Itachi was on the floor on his knees, looking at an empty box on the floor. The sharingan-boy looked teary-eyed at Kisame and quickly leaped into the shark-mans warm embrace.-whee- "Kisame!"
Deidara and Orochimaru surveyed the room for any enemies or danger, finding nothing they turned to Itachi. "What happened?" Orochimaru asked. Itachi sniffled and let go of Kisame. "My precious items of immense secrecy! They've gone missing!"
"What!" The other gasped in shockingly accurate unison and tone of surprised voice. "Who would take your stuff?" the blonde hermaphrodite asked. "I mean...what do you have thats so great and important that you would be on the floor crying about it?"
Kisame rolled his eyes at Deidara's stupidity and left the room, he did not want to be a part of what would happen next. Itachi glared daggers at Deidara, huffed and stormed down the stairs dragging Orochimaru with him. Deidara soon followed and found them in the living room thinking their brains off. Orochimaru finally spoke after being silent for an extreme eternity of 5 minutes.
"So, who do you think stole your two precious items of extreme importance?"
Deidara glared, suck up.
Orochimaru smirked back, Hey, At least I'm not going to wake up dead tomorrow.
Itachi sighed angrily. "Will you stop glaring and smirking and using telepathy! We aren't psychic here, we're freaking ninjas! Now start acting like one, and help me find my precious items!"
"Only if we can stop calling them 'precious items', that sway to time consuming to say the mouth-full" -Deidara.
"How about we call them 'stuff' " Kisame appeared and used the quotation finger action as he entered the room. Itachi nodded his approval. Kisame sat next to Itachi who grabbed his arm. "Alright! First we must figure when my stuff was stolen! Interrogate me! Interrogate!" He hissed.
Kisame raised an eye-brow. "That could be taken the wrong way you know."
Orochimaru smiled, "Only you would think something like that Kisame, you pervert you!" Wink. Deidara giggled.
"Shut up! Now interrogate me!"
Deidara raised his hand and bounced in his seat. "Ooh! Ooh! I want to ask first! Pick me! Pick Me!"
"Okay, Dei-chan you can go first!"
Orochimaru whipped out a pen and paper pad and got ready to take notes. "Ready!"
"Alright, Itachi. Where were you on the night before the two nights ago before last on a Tuesday which has previously come before on Saturday of today!"
Long awkward silence. Itachi leaned forward.
"... Okay, what!"
Deidara sighed impatiently. "Where were you on the day of today?"
"Oh! Why, I was in the kitchen with Kisame painting my nails." Orochimaru began scribbling furiously, Kisame sipped tea.
"Okay, were you in your room before that?"
A nod. "Hm... was your stuff still in its right-full place in that box?"
"Yes, I checked it this morning, everything was there and safe."
Deidara pondered a moment, tapping his chin. Then he looks at Itachi and says with utmost seriousness, "Itachi, did you steal your stuff?"
Anime Face fault. Itachi got up in Deidara's face.
"What the hell Deidara? Why would I steal my own crap! I HOPE YOU DIE!" Starts crying and runs to Kisame. "Kisame, kill him!"
"W-wait! DONT! Kisame! Please! No! You need me Itachi!"
Orochimaru was busy laughing his ass off. Itachi twitched. " I do not need you! Now Hurry up and Die! Orochimaru can be the new interrogator! Right?"
"Yes! Yes sir! I can be the new interrogator!"
Kisame loomed over a scared to death Deidara, and raised his sword. Deidara shut hes eyes and screamed like a little girl..."Please Nooooo!"
And then, the chapter ended.
TBC
review plz.