This is a Sonic the Hedgehog fic that has no real point and is perverted and confusing. There is the cheap main story and retarded bloopers.
This One's For The Bunnies chapter 4 is still being made, but the author of that is really sick, so it will take some time.
Disclaimer- Don't own anything, but I plan to someday. I will be the head leader of Sonic Team! (Written by xplaynamine13 and xnobody13 of xplaynamine13)
SATITRIS- THE END OF THE WORLD
No one would have believed in the town of Station Square that Doomsday had come. Nobody could've seen it coming. Nobody could've done anything. All they could do was live, unexpecting and unaware, their normal lives. And this all started with a certain pink hedgehog… (Lower your expectations, NOW!)
It was a bright and sunny day at the beach. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, the Master Emerald, and Shadow were swimming in the hotel pool. They splashed each other like idiots until Cream approached. She had an urgent look on her face.
"Guys, you better come inside; Amy isn't feeling well." said Cream.
"What's wrong with her?" asked Sonic.
"I don't know, she has major headaches and is throwing up a lot."
"Okay, we're coming." said Tails as he got out of the pool. Everyone except Shadow followed.
"You guys go on, I have something important to do; like destroying Canada. I wish I could teach them a thing or two." said Shadow.
"Okay, you do that." Sonic said, not paying attention.
Everyone walked into Amy's room. Barf was everywhere and her many dresser drawers had large bite marks on them. They then found Amy chewing on her bed.
"Uh, Amy, are you okay?" Sonic asked cautiously.
"GROUWWWWWLINGPAPOUCAKA!" roared Amy. She then started to barf on him.
"SON OF A CAO CAO!" shouted Sonic.
"Somebody call me?" asked Cao Cao from Dynasty Warriors. He was then repeatedly smacked by the wet noodle Tails carries in his pockets.
"Amy, what's the matter?" Sonic asked again.
Amy roared ferociously at him.
Ah, you idiots, don't you know, that must be a sign that she's pregnant." said Knuckles.
"Uh, Amy? Are you pregnant?" Sonic asked, as if he was going to faint.
"Guy's, capture her, she's going to the doctor's right now!" shouted Cream as she got a net. Everyone then tackled her, and 24 minutes later, they were at the doctors.
"Hm, it seems this pink girl has something wrong with her." the doctor said.
"What?" asked Sonic.
"She's………..SICK!"
"NOOOO!"
"YES! But not from the flu, or pregnancy. She has a sugar related flu."
"What's that?"
"It's called Satitris, and it's a rare disease that's caused by eating to much sugar, but only a certain kind of sugar for each patient. Also, it only affects certain people, but we're too lazy to figure that out."
"Is there any cure?"
"No, except feed her human souls and wait for Twenty-eight days. Now I recommend you people tie her up to a tree. She is now a cannibal."
"Thank you doctor."
"Don't mention it, oh, and this appointment costs 99,999 rings."
"But I only have 23,261 rings!"
"Well you should have finished college."
"I'm only 15!"
MORGAN FREEMAN: Sonic and his friends brought Amy home and tied her up to the biggest tree they had, and decided to have an ice-cream and soda party. The party ended at 3:15 am, where everyone had stomachaches. Slowly, and surely though, the world grew closer to its demise.
The next day….
Sonic woke up feeling something biting his foot. He looked down and saw a transformed Cream biting it. He kicked her off and ran.
He got outside and saw that Green Forest had no trees left, for they have been eaten. He ran to Station Square.
Meanwhile, Shadow carried Canadians and threw them at the beasts and laughed as their heads were chopped off and chewed to pieces.
SNARKLE THE SNARKLEBEAST: Sonic roamed through Station Square and found that everything was destroyed. He also found Tails was dead. He searched for survivors and found three people he somewhat knew…
"Hey, look Mighty, its Sonic!" yelled Ray the Flying Squirrel.
"Oh, hey Ray, hello Mighty, and…… Metal Sonic! What are you doing here?" asked Sonic.
"I seemed to have eaten too many beans." Metal said.
"Well, can you help me fight off the mutants?" Sonic asked.
Before anyone could answer, Big the Cat came and started eating Mighty.
"AHHHH! GET THIS ASSHOLE OFF OF ME!" he yelled.
Mighty was devoured.
"RUN!" yelled Ray.
"You go ahead, I'll stop them." Metal Sonic said. He then pulled out a can of beans. Fast gas, exploding beans. He ate them.
"NOOO! METAL!" yelled Sonic.
Metal Sonic farted and blew up. Everyone fell unconscious.
TOM CRUISE: They all were sleeping but they woke up surrounded by the evil mutant people. There, I narrated, now where's my paycheck?
"Ahh, don't eat me. I'm too adorable!" yelled Ray as his tail was getting eaten.
"What's gonna happen to us?" Sonic asked himself.
He then saw Ray being forced to eat Hershey kisses. He soon transformed.
"RAY! NO!"
Sonic saw two other prisoners in the background; Knuckles and Rouge the Bat. Knuckles already transformed, but Rouge kept eating chocolate and never mutated. An idea struck Sonic's mind. He looked at Rouge's breasts and he realized something; she was wearing a bra and she had cleavage. That was the key to not transforming; CLEAVAGE!
All the mutants that were guarding Sonic ran to check on Rouge, so he was able to escape. He then went to a women department store and bought a million bras. He put one on and it looked like he had man boobs. He had Cleavage!
MARK TWAIN: For the next few days, Sonic went around the world, giving everyone bras. Soon enough, the evil monsters transformed back to normal, and no one cared about all the people who died. But the world had to be careful; everyone has to wear a bra if they want to eat chocolate or any kind of sugar.
Ten days later……
Life was back to normal…….kind of. Everyone had a funeral for Ray the Flying Squirrel and Metal Sonic, but not Mighty, cause no one, including his creator, likes him. Amy was found to be pregnant a day after the funeral, and six months later, she gave birth to a white hedgehog, whom she named Silver, for she was colorblind. No one could tell who the father was, so they went on 'Maury' and discovered it was knuckles, and that Amy was a slut.
Soon after, more secrets came out. Sonic admitted that he went through adolescents by the time he was 8, and that he was Cream's father and Vanilla's soon to be husband. Rouge found a lust for Orange Echidnas, and when she met Tikal, they immediately fell in love. Cream and Shadow announced that they were in a sexual relationship, and were gonna get married. Emerl was discovered to be alive, and became Amy's sex toy. And everyone lived happily ever after until the world impacted Northshire, thus delivering 182 nature damage to all of the level 2 noobs. LOLROFL NEWBS!
'Credits roll, with a song that appears everywhere these days.'
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along
So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
x3
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along
fade out
After the credits ending……
SYLVESTER STALONE: Shadow the hedgehog was captured by the mutants. They somehow transformed back even with cleavage. As they were about to feed him chocolate, a beam of light shot them, and they exploded. Black Doom approached Shadow and told him that some people would like to talk to him. A few Canadians approached him. They had really pointy pencils. "OH CRAP!" said Shadow as they started stabbing him.
Black Doom kept on laughing. He then unzipped a zipper on his body and out stepped Calypso. "You said you wanted to teach them a thing or two, and you have! You taught them how to kill a racist like you!" shouted Calypso. Shadow screamed as the pencils went into his skull. Calypso laughed.
"I am Calypso, and I thank you for thinking about this story and Twisted Metal!"
Ending if all the Chaos Emeralds were acquired……
Earth had been decimated by the monsters. But, did sugar really create Doomsday? A figure teleports from an alternate Earth. "Those fools believed that this actually happened? How could they be that naïve. Didn't they notice that Calypso said, "And I thank you for thinking about this story!"? And a sugar disease? That's only in children' minds. Which makes perfect sense, since I am one. Don't they know that the last thing they did was get hypnotized in the Sonic X universe. Though, it feels weird being in my own mind. But still, Ray and Mighty don't exist anymore. So wouldn't they find it strange that they're around. But, what can I say. Animals don't deserve to live with me or my dead Uncle. They will return to their old world one day. In the real world, my name is Chris Thorndyke, and I thank you for probably believing that this was their real world. Yet, there world will pay soon. SOON!"
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BLOOPERS, CRAP, AND OTHER RANDOM STUFF!
Filming for Sonic Adventure 2…
- Deep in Prison Island, Sonic is walking restlessly around his cell. Amy, holding a keycard, drops down from above.
SONIC: Huh? Amy?
AMY: Shh! Keep your voice down! Have no fear... twirls Amy Rose is here!
SONIC: How'd you get here!
AMY: Well, if you gotta know, I caught a ride with Tails. Are you sure you
don't need my help? It looks like you could use it.
SONIC: The reason I'm in here, is because of that fake hedgehog!
AMY: You mean... that black hedgehog?
SONIC: AMY! Don't be racist!
DIRECTOR: Cut!
Take two…
- Deep in Prison Island, Sonic is walking restlessly around his cell. Amy, holding a keycard, drops down from above.
SONIC: Huh? Amy?
AMY: Shh! Keep your voice down! Have no fear... twirls Amy Rose is here!
SONIC: How'd you get here!
AMY: Well, if you gotta know, I caught a ride with Tails. Are you sure you
don't need my help? It looks like you could use it.
SONIC: The reason I'm in here, is because of that fake hedgehog!
AMY: You mean... that black hedgehog?
SONIC: Did you see it? Where is it now?
AMY: If I tell ya, will you marry me?
(Sonic stares into Amy's eyes, then finally speaks)
SONIC: YESAMY,IWILL.ILOVEYOUANDIWANTTOHAVECHILDRENANDNOT LISTENTOYUJINAKAANDGOONAHONEYMOON,SOWILLYOUMARRYME!
(Amy doesn't speak.)
SONIC: What's the matter, Amy?
AMY: It's just that I never expected you to say yes. I mean, my whole life has been to get you to marry me. Now that you said yes, I don't think I have a purpose in life any more. (She took out her Piko Piko Hammer.)
SONIC: AMY! NOOOOO!
(Amy splattered her head with the hammer)
DIRECTOR: CUT! WTF?
The Second Final Boss (Metal Madness) from Sonic Heroes is about to begin.
SONIC: All right! Let's show this creep the real super power of teamwork!
(Everyone gets blown up by Metal Madness' power beam of death)
METAL MADNESS: LOL I PWNED YOU NEWBS!
PERFECT CHAOS: It's over!
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This has been a 2 story in 1 story thingy. If any of you people want a chapter 2, then request it. Otherwise, it's a random one-shot thingy- migjigger.
Oh, and for those people who don't know what cleavage is, look it up!