A Reason to Live

by Melinique

Fergal is still devastated by the loss of his wife and is doing the best he can to get back to functioning. Allen's loss is much fresher but for his kids sake he tries to act like everything is okay. Allen has his reason for living due to his kids. Fergal finds his reason through a promise to Allen. -This is the follow-up to Face Your Demons or Embrace Them-

1. Prologue - Nightmare's

Authors Note: I guess you got the answer just from the summary but sometimes the fun is finding out the HOW, right?

Additional Note: Man, I wish I knew how to write an Irish accent!

Reviews/Comments/Critiques welcome!

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Prologue – Nightmare's

As fast as he'd been driving, Allen had honestly expected to at least HEAR a police siren, but he didn't. By the time he stopped, he turned to his oldest son, Ajay, who was sitting in the passengers seat with his legs curled up in the seat with him and gripping the door handle tightly, and said, 'Stay put and keep an eye on D.J.' Ajay looked at Allen and even though he was concerned about the dragon claws that looked like black ink on the skin on the back of Allen's hands and the way the whites of Allen's eyes had turned black, he managed to nod and say, 'Okay, dad'.

Allen opened the driver's side door, got out of the car, and took off running. Ajay looked back at the car seat behind the driver's seat and wasn't entirely surprised that Dante was quiet. Dante was an overly quiet baby as long as NO ONE besides Fergal or Allen tried to pick him up, otherwise he would SCREAM at the top of his lungs!

Ajay started to look around at the scenery around the car, was surprised by what he was seeing, and said, 'The Raven Cliff Falls Trial'! Ajay thought, 'We're in Northern Georgia! HOW? We were in Orlando less then half an hour ago'!

Allen continued to run and as he did so, he couldn't help but thinking, 'WHY would he come HERE'?

Ajay turned the key in the ignition so he could roll his window down before turning the key back off, he sat on the passenger's side door, laid his arms on the roof of the car, and said, 'If you would let me hold you, Dante, I could show you around. I LOVE COMING HERE'!

As Allen got within sight of the cliffs, he stopped dead in his tracks. He saw what looked like a large tornado shaped shadow that looked like it dropped off the cliffs but also shot high into the sky spreading out at cloud level like clouds. He could also see MANY of Fergal's Nightmare's flying around the tornado shaped shadow in what looked like a panic. He'd always thought the Nightmare's were strange looking, they looked humanoid but their legs had no feet, they ended in a V-shape, the arms had no hands but they ended in a V-shape too, unless Fergal put more effort in them to develop feet or hands or weapons, the heads looked fairly normal just with almost cartoon-like spiky hair, their eyes were yellow instead of white and the rest of the eye was solid black, and it didn't look like they had lips and if they opened their mouths there was nothing there except for some what could only be described as VERY sharp looking teeth.

Ajay looked above the trees in the direction Allen had run and noticed the spreading shadow and said, 'That looks like -' He cut himself off and then said, 'Dad was right, HE IS HERE'!

It was strange for Allen, part of him was SCREAMING, 'Run'! BUT, another part of him was telling him to keep moving forward! He'd come to damn far to turn back NOW! And, that was when he realized that Fergal was SOMEWHERE IN the tornado shaped shadow! Allen started to take a step forward but stopped when he considered where he was SHOULD have people around but he hadn't seen ANY SIGN of ANYBODY since he'd arrived! Raven Cliff Fall's being a tourist destination SHOULD have people around! Did the Nightmare's scare them off? Allen shook his head, he didn't come all this way to worry about THAT! Allen took a deep breath before running into the tornado shaped shadow!

Ajay stood up on the door and thought, 'Is Uncle Fergie okay'? At the same time thinking, 'He wouldn't HURT dad, would he'?

If it wasn't for the fact that the mirror of made was of glass, Amelia would've kicked the damn thing MULTIPLE times by now! She was getting frustrated that the mirror that was SUPPOSED to make viewing ANYONE she wanted possible had been giving off NOTHING BUT STATIC since Fergal had disappeared after leaving the letter and STARING at the damn thing hadn't made it work! The picture turned crystal clear for the first time since Kimiko had died, there was ABSOLUTELY NO STATIC! Amelia was surprised but just as quickly the surprise turned to concern as she watched as Fergal seemed to be surrounded by blackness but also by his own shadow, the blue creature that seemed to just be a larger more well defined version of his black-in-color Nightmare's, and she thought, 'He's underwater! Those fucking chains and the locks! I guess he didn't know that Shadow Fomorian's CAN'T drown! Not because they don't need to breath because they're one of only a handful of Fomorian that actually require almost the same amount of oxygen that humans do, but because of what can be best described as a built-in defense mechanism like our built-in self healing ability, if a Shadow Fomorian stays underwater for to long, they'll enter what can be best described as a form of stasis to keep them alive'.

Allen felt like he was falling though he couldn't actually SEE anything until he looked down and noticed the blue glow coming from the bottom. Just as quickly as he got close enough to notice the glow was coming from Fergal, he felt as if something was pushing him back but at the same time he knew he was still falling albeit slower. He felt what to him felt like the wind whipping at his clothes and hair. As he got within arms reach of Fergal, he reached out with his right hand and touched Fergal between his shoulder blades.

The moment Allen's hand touched Fergal, Amelia screamed, 'No'! Cracks began to quickly appear in the mirror before it exploded, Amelia just getting her arms up in time to block her face, and she was knocked back against the far wall of her room and landed on her ass. The castle began to quake and Amelia let her arms drop to the floor, she was scared because she knew in that moment that what was happening WASN'T an earthquake AT ALL and that the residents of the castle were TRAPPED, and she screamed, 'Bálor, save us'!

At the same time, Ajay watched in HORROR as the tornado shape shadow exploded and the force from it was strong enough to knock him SEVERAL feet back off the car. Ignoring the pain in his backside from his landing, he still felt the tears in his eyes as he yelled, 'Dad! Uncle Fergie'!

-Begin Flashback-

Quick Warning: While I have this story rated M for a reason, I will warn you that the next little bit is going to get a bit graphic on the subject of child abuse.

Allen, age six. Allen stood there staring at the can of beer that had been knocked over on the edge of the table causing its contents to spill on the floor, his eyes were filled with tears and he felt himself get backhanded on the left side of the face. Allen hit the floor next to the table, looked up, and said through tears, 'But, daddy, I didn't do it'! Allen knew by that age that arguing with his father when he was drunk wasn't going to get him ANYWHERE but he didn't want to take responsibility for something that HIS FATHER had done when he'd bumped the table sitting down! He watched through tears as his father took off his belt, he knew RUNNING would only make things worse! He felt the first lash of the belt on his left arm and side before he curled himself into a ball facing the table and used his arms to cover his head. More lashes came, first on his arms, then his legs, on his left hand, and NUMEROUS more on his back! Once the lashes stopped, he stayed curled in a ball and cried, as he heard the disappearing footsteps of his father he knew was to come next and he HATED it! The returning footsteps of his father. He knew the kick to the back was coming before he even felt it but it didn't make it hurt ANY LESS! Another kick and another! He felt the liquid being poured on him and the drunken laughter of his father. He HATED alcohol and EVERYTHING about it! He'd made a promise to himself THE FIRST TIME his father had drenched him in alcohol that he would NEVER touch the stuff! He felt himself being lifted by the back of his shirt. He felt the belt being wrapped around his neck and he whimpered, 'Daddy, don't'! He felt the belt tighten as he was lifted off his feet.

Allen, age twelve. Allen had backed into the corner with his arms pulled to his chest, his lower lip was bleeding from being punched by his father, and he said, 'But dad, I didn't GO TO the principal, I was SENT TO the principal! I KNOW what I'm supposed to say about the bruises and I said it but they WOULDN'T believe me'! He was being blamed because Child Protective Service's had shown up at his school and talked to him and then what had made it worse was that they'd also shown up at his home. HE hadn't called them, why would he? He was scared of what his father would do! Allen felt the punch to his left eye, he felt the right side of his head hit the wall, and he knew he'd probably end up with a black eye from the punch, it wasn't the first and he knew it wouldn't be the last. His father grabbed him by his right arm and pulled him out of the corner. He obeyed when his father told him to take off his shirt. His father spun him around to where he had his back to his father. It wasn't the pain from the lashes of the belt on his back that bothered him anymore, it was the welts he would end up with that made it difficult to sleep on his back. After the lashes had stopped, he obeyed when his father told him to lay flat on his stomach on the floor. He cried as his father began to stomp on his back while yelling, 'I'll give you something to tell those bastards about'! After his father had stopped, he stayed on the floor and watched as his father went to the closet. Seeing what his father had grabbed, he couldn't help but wonder how his father was going to hurt him with the wooden baseball bat. He turned his head away as his father began to walk back towards him. He watched out of the corner of his right eye as his father raised the baseball bat before bringing it down HARD on the right side of his head.

Continued Warning: Honestly, while that might be hard for some of you to read, it wasn't entirely EASY for me to write, either. But, as we all know, there's more then just PHYSICAL abuse and that's why this is a CONTINUED warning regarding the subject of child abuse.

Allen, age thirteen. He'd gotten used to the PHYSICAL abuse that his father had put him through since he could remember. The PHYCHOLOGICAL abuse was something he'd become accustomed to as well, his father considered him a 'worthless piece of trash' and a 'failure'. It didn't matter how GOOD he did in school, he was a failure. It didn't matter that he'd started doing odd jobs once he'd turned twelve so he could start saving for things on his own without needing his parents money which primarily went to feed his fathers alcoholism anyways, he was a still a worthless piece of trash. What Allen would learn on his thirteenth birthday though would teach him a WHOLE OTHER type of abuse.

It was evening and his father asked, 'Do you know what it takes to be a man, Allen'? It surprised him that the man was sober but he answered anyways, 'A job, a license, a car, a diploma, a home of his own, a wife, and a child'? His father shook his head and said, 'No'. Allen shrugged and said, 'I don't know, then! Losing his virginity'? His father smirked and said, 'Very good, son'. For a reason that Allen didn't yet realize, the smirk on his fathers face made him VERY uncomfortable!

Allen had only been lying in his bed on top of the covers for what at a maximum would've been five minutes when his bedroom door was opened and he heard his father's voice ask, 'Allen'? Allen sat up to face his father and ask, 'What'? He watched as his father stepped into the room and closed the door quietly. He watched as his father sat at the foot of his bed before turning to face him. His father asked, 'Do you want me to teach you what it is to be a man'? Allen shook his head and said, 'Not really, I just turned thirteen, sex still isn't on the top of my list'. Even though, even as he said the words he knew he needed to GET AWAY from his father! Before he even had time too really figure out what was going on, he was being pinned facedown on the bed, his pajama bottoms and underwear were removed, and he felt something being pushed inside of him. His eyes began to fill with tears and he said, 'Dad, that hurts'! His father made no effort to move for several moments and then his father pulled almost all the way out before slamming back in. He yelped, 'Dad'! Again and AGAIN! He cried, 'Please stop'! Again and AGAIN! He cried, 'I don't like this'! He felt the movements get faster and he didn't understand why his brain was SCREAMING for his father to STOP but his body seemed to be enjoying it! He cried, 'Daddy stop'! As his father continued almost completely withdrawing before slamming back in, his breathing got ragged and he cried. He felt something warm being released inside him before his father withdrew completely and despite being out of breath said, 'THAT'S what it means to BE A MAN, Allen'! As he listened as his father got up and walked out of his bedroom making sure to close the door quietly, Allen pulled the side of the blanket that he wasn't laying on over him, curled up into a ball, and cried.

Allen, age fourteen. It still bothered him when his father would come into his room at night so he'd know 'what it means to be a man'. He hadn't enjoyed the first time when he was still thirteen that his father had pinned him down on his back and rubbed between his legs until he ejaculated or taught him what it meant 'to be a bitch' by having him orally pleasuring his father and he didn't enjoy it anymore by the time he was fourteen. He'd gotten to the point at school where he was cringing away from the adults and any kid that even ACCIDENTLY touched him he would end up punching.

Notice of Relief: Well, I don't know what else to call it. That's pretty much it for now on the subject of child abuse.

He had gotten a puppy, a long-haired solid black male Chihuahua he'd named Midnight when he was thirteen. At that point in his life, it was the ONLY ONE he actually felt love for. He was fourteen and he had tried to stop his father from beating Midnight's brains in. After seeing the lifeless form of Midnight thrown against the wall behind him, he felt an intense rage. Grabbing the baseball bat that his father kept in the closet, he attacked his father from behind with the bat, and he didn't stop hitting him with the bat until his mother grabbed it. He released the bat, letting it fall to the floor, but he was confused as he looked at his mother. As he heard the approaching sirens, she said one word, 'Run'! He ran up to his room and quickly packed his backpack with clothes, his Game Boy, game cartridges, batteries, and what money he had been saving before climbing out the window and leaving through the backyard.

He ran to a house about a mile west of where he lived. He rang the doorbell. An old lady opened the door and asked, 'Allen, what are you doing HERE so late'? Allen started to cry the lady stepped to the side and said, 'Come in, sit down, and tell me what happened'. Allen sat in the chair in the living room and cried, 'He killed Midnight, Mary, and - and I just couldn't take it anymore! I've gotten used to him hurting me, even as I've gotten older and he's found new ways to hurt me! But - but I begged him not to hurt Midnight but he wouldn't listen! He NEVER listens to me! So, I grabbed the bat and I hurt him back! There was so much blood'! The old lady, Mary asked, 'Was that what the sirens were for'? Allen nodded and Mary said, 'Well, stay here tonight and we'll figure out how to handle this in the morning'. Allen cried, 'But, I don't want to have to go back there'! Mary shook her head and said, 'You won't have to, sweetie'.

Allen, age sixteen. The 'stay here tonight' had turned into two years. Allen's father had died from the injuries less then forty-eight hours after he'd been taken to the hospital. Allen's mother was sitting in jail for murder since she refused to indicate that Allen had ANY knowledge of what had happened. Allen stayed quiet because he didn't want what happened to him to become public knowledge and because he honestly figured that it was what his mother wanted. She was the one to tell him to 'run' after all.

Mary had given Allen his own room once they had both figured out that Allen was going to be staying with her long-term. He still helped her around the yard and house like he'd been doing since he was twelve and she still paid him for it. She'd even taken to letting him borrow the lawnmower so he could make extra money for mowing other people's lawns and a snow shovel in the winter so he could make extra money shoveling snow for other people. She'd even bought him an NES and SNES for his fifteenth birthday plus let him pick out whichever three game cartridges for each he wanted. She had been quite surprised when he started wrestling in high school but she had also figured that it would help him get some of his pent up aggression out of his system.

Allen had been receiving driving lessons from Mary's son, Dominic for almost six months when Allen finally turned sixteen and was old enough to get his learner's permit. Allen had initially found it intimidating that he was receiving driving lessons from a cop but he got over the intimidation in only a few days. Once he'd gotten his full license, Mary started adding in an extra job for him, grocery shopping.

Allen's eighteenth birthday. Allen walked into the house and called, 'Miss Mary'! When he didn't hear the sound of footsteps or her voice, he proceeded into the living room, and saw Mary lying on the floor. Allen rushed over to Mary, knelt down beside her, and shook her as he asked, 'Mary'? When there still wasn't a response, he checked for her pulse, and said, 'No'. Allen shook his head and ran to the phone and dialed 911. '911, what's your emergency'? Allen said, 'Uh, yes ma'am, I just got home and the lady I've been staying with is on the floor and I can't find her pulse'. 'What's your address'? Allen gave the dispatcher the address and the dispatcher started to give Allen instructions on what he needed to do but Allen interrupted by saying, 'Dominic taught me what he'd learned in his Emergency Medical Training, I know what I need to do'! Allen hung up and rushed back over to Mary, as he began chest compressions, he felt the tears in his eyes.

By the time Dominic arrived, the ambulance had already taken Mary, and Allen was sitting on the front porch rocking back and forth crying. Dominic approached Allen and asked, 'Allen'? Allen looked up at Dominic and said through the tears, 'Dom, I'm so sorry, I tried to save her. I did what you taught me to do but - but - but, I'm sorry, Dom'. Despite the tears in his own eyes, Dominic sat down next to Allen, put his left arm around Allen, and said, 'Allen, it's not your fault'!

Dominic had it arranged so that if Allen wanted to he could stay in the house until he'd started college but Allen didn't want to stay in that house with it being where Mary had died. Dominic understood Allen's reasoning and offered to let him stay with Dominic and Dominic's wife, Samantha and twelve-year-old daughter, Anne.

During his stay with Dominic's family, Allen became like a big brother to Anne. Anne had three older sisters, all in their mid-twenties, but she'd never had a brother before and Allen was nice to her.

He had planned to wait until he graduated college before beginning to wrestle professionally and he hadn't planned on moving away from North Carolina. The day he left college was the day he got the call from Dominic who was somewhere between hysterical and in tears. Allen jumped on his motorcycle and rode straight to the hospital nearest where Dominic lived. He ran into the hospital waiting room with his motorcycle helmet under his arm, he found Dominic, and asked, 'Dom, what the hell happened'? Dominic shook his head and said in tears, 'Anne's dead'. It didn't want to register in his head what Dominic just said and he asked, 'What'? Samantha, who was in tears herself said, 'Some drunk hit my baby while she was walking home'! As Allen collapsed into the nearest chair, he brought his hands up to his mouth, dropping his helmet to the floor in the process, and he cried. Even though, if he'd been perfectly honest, he wanted to SCREAM!

The day of Anne's funeral, after the funeral had ended, was when Allen packed what few items that he could take on his motorcycle, and left North Carolina. Samantha had given him the white music box that was Anne's favorite possession as her way of saying goodbye to Allen, hoping that even if he did forget Dominic and Samantha and even Mary that he'd at least remember Anne.

After arriving in Georgia, he met a young college student. 'Why are you sitting here all by yourself'? Allen looked at the young woman and said, 'I'm new to Georgia'. The young woman extended her hand and said, 'My name's Wendy'. Allen shook the young woman's hand and said, 'Allen'.

Fergal, age three months. As he cried, there was a male voice with a thick Irish accent singing, Óró sé do bheatha abhaile. The red eyes of the man singing watched him.

Quick Note: Óró sé do bheatha abhaile is an Irish song from the 1800s.

Fergal, age four. He stood in his bedroom staring at the transparent boy standing in front of him. The boy looked almost identical to him except for what looked like paint on his body and the red eyes. The boy in a voice almost identical to his own just with a slightly thicker accent, 'My name is Bálor, Fergal. I will ALWAYS be with you to protect you'.

Fergal, age six. 'But, Bálor -' Fergal's mother asked angrily, 'Will you stop with this Bálor nonsense? Bálor DOES NOT EXIST'! Fergal felt himself smirk and heard in a voice like his own but with a thicker accent say, 'I wouldn't bet on that, Mrs. Devitt'.

Fergal, age thirteen. Fergal looked around his room and asked, 'Bálor'? Fergal again looked around and asked, 'Bálor, where are you'? Fergal again looked around and said, 'Bálor, I'm not mad! I know there are going to be things you can't protect me from so PLEASE, where are you? Why won't you talk to me anymore since the exorcism? I know you're still there'!

Fergal, age fourteen. Fergal was lying on his stomach in bed and whispered, 'You've changed Bálor! Ever since you quit talking to me the way we did back before the exorcism, you've changed. You're cruel! What happened to you'? Bálor whispered, 'We both changed, Fergal. Or maybe, I've always been this way and I just didn't find the need to take it out on you'. Fergal whispered, 'Why then did you start'? Bálor whispered, 'Fergal, I'm the Fomorian King. My name means Demon King for a reason, I'm not a demon, but I do have the reputation of being cruel as one. I'm only not cruel to those I like'. Fergal whispered, 'When did you stop liking me'? Bálor whispered, 'When I realized that it didn't matter how nice I attempted to be, your parents were ALWAYS going to hate me, and since it's not uncommon for a child to hate what their parents do, I figured, why bother trying to be nice to you'? Fergal whispered, 'But, I don't hate you! They hurt me too, Bálor! I felt the same thing you did and I didn't like it'! Bálor whispered, 'Just rest now, Fergal. I need to think something over'.

Fergal, age fifteen. After that night, it had started getting very tension filled between Fergal and his parents. Fergal still hadn't been able to get Bálor to talk to him the way he used to, but there was a peace he felt between himself and Bálor as he'd go to sleep with Bálor singing in a low voice, Óró sé do bheatha abhaile. It wasn't until Fergal questioned Bálor on it that Bálor admitted that it wasn't that he WOULDN'T talk to Fergal like they used to, it was that after the exorcism, he no longer could. When Bálor admitted THAT, it increased the tension between Fergal and his parents even more. Fergal was lying on his back on his bed in his bedroom and whispered, 'Can't we come to a compromise, Bálor'? Bálor whispered, 'About what'? Fergal whispered, 'I'll do what you want with the girls'. Bálor whispered, 'Where's the compromise? You're offering me EXACTLY what I want'! Fergal whispered, 'Just, let me do what I want with the boys'. Bálor whispered, 'Fine'.

The following day, Fergal was sitting in a classroom staring at the back of the boy sitting in the seat in front of him. Fergal had the tip of his thumb of his left hand between his teeth paying NO attention to what the teacher was saying until, 'Mr. Devitt'! Fergal jumped, bumping the desk with his knees in the process, his head snapped toward the female teacher, and he asked, 'Yes sir - ma'am - teacher'? The rest of the class started laughing and the teacher asked, 'Is what I'm trying to teach boring you'? Fergal shook his head and said, 'No ma'am'. The teacher asked, 'Daydreaming again, are we Mr. Devitt'? Fergal felt his cheeks heat up as he lowered his head and mumbled said, 'Yes ma'am'. The teacher huffed, shook her head, and said, 'You know where to go'. Fergal not raising his head said, 'Yes ma'am'. Fergal was sitting in a seat just to the right of a door with his arms and legs crossed and he heard a lady ask, 'You know, Mr. Devitt, daydreaming is okay to do, just not in the middle of class'. Fergal looked at the woman behind the desk and said, 'You've said that the last six times I've been here too, Miss LeBlanc'. Miss LeBlanc laughed and said, 'Seven. I said it the first time you got sent here at the start of the year too'. Fergal rolled his eyes and said, 'Hasn't sunk in yet'. Miss LeBlanc said, 'What I find strange though is that you don't seem to have problems in any of your OTHER classes, just the one with Mrs. Richards. Is there a problem between you two'? Fergal shook his head and said, 'No'. Miss LeBlanc said, 'I know a lot of the boys who aren't troublemakers around your age get sent to talk with Mr. Grayson because they get distracted by the girl sitting in front of them. The girls have a similar problem. But, after the third time you got sent here, I checked, you're not sitting behind a girl. You're sitting behind Mr. Grayson's son, Dresden'. Fergal lowered his head and Miss LeBlanc asked, 'Do you like Dresden'? Fergal's head snapped toward Miss LeBlanc, he opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the door he was sitting next to opening, a man stepped out, looked down to his right, and asked, 'Daydreaming again, Mr. Devitt'? Fergal looked up at the man and said, 'Yes, Mr. Grayson'. Mr. Grayson shook his head, folded his arms, and asked, 'What am I going to do with you'? Fergal asked, 'Let me get back to my class with Mrs. Richards so I don't end up stuck here again'? Mr. Grayson shook his head and said, 'And, you know I won't do that. You play Gaelic with Dresden and I like it when he wins'. Fergal looked away and mumbled, 'Yeah, so do I'. Mr. Grayson asked, 'What was that'? Fergal shook his head and said, 'Nothing'.

The game had just ended, Fergal was happy, they'd won 4-0, and he was now sitting on the bench with his white water bottle that had his last name down the side in his hands. He jumped when he felt an arm drape around his shoulders but he smiled when he saw it was Dresden. Dresden asked, 'Why do you do this, Ferg? Anytime we win, instead of celebrating with the rest of the team, you come and sit over here by yourself'. Fergal lowered his head and said, 'No reason'. Dresden asked, 'Well, do you want to come with us and get some pizza and burgers'? Fergal shook his head and said, 'I better not'. Dresden stood up, walked around to where he was standing in front of Fergal, crossed his arms, and said, 'I don't get you, Ferg. You're a team player, you always have been since we first started playing Gaelic together, but here recently, once the games are over, you close yourself off'. Fergal stood up, still holding his water bottle with both hands, and despite being a head shorter then Dresden, he said, 'It's nothing against the team, Dresden. It's just -' Fergal cut himself off and lowered his head. Dresden put his left hand on Fergal's right shoulder and asked, 'What happened to you, Ferg? We used to be friends. We could be again if you would just quit closing yourself off. Hell, our teammates STILL call us the Dynamic Duo due to our chemistry on the field together! Even though, I'm still not sure if I'm supposed to be Batman or Robin'. Fergal smirked and said, 'I think I'm supposed to be Robin since I'm shorter and younger'. Dresden smiled and said, 'See, Ferg, we can be friends'. Fergal's smirk completely faded, he looked down and asked, 'But, what if I don't want to be friends'? He feels the punch in his left jaw and is knocked back over the bench. As he watches Dresden walk toward the parking lot, he sees his teammates looking confused over why Dresden hit him, and returning his attention to Dresden, he calls, 'Dresden'! He gets up and takes off after Dresden. Reaching Dresden who had stopped next to a black car, he asked, 'Dresden'? Dresden who had his back to Fergal spun around and shouted, 'If you don't want to be friends, fine! Then don't talk to me unless we're on the field'! Fergal lowered his head, closed his eyes, and said, 'I understand'.

The following morning. There was a knock at the door, Fergal sat up and looked at the clock, it was 04:00, and he thought, 'I hate it when I dream of a knock at the door and it actually wakes me up'! Fergal let himself fall back against his pillow and heard a knock at the door and he thought, 'What'? Fergal got up and walked to the front door, rubbing his eyes along the way. He yawned as he opened the door but as soon as he saw who it was, his eyes went wide, and he asked, 'Dresden'? Dresden said, 'I'm sorry I woke you up, Ferg, but I needed to talk to someone and you were the first person I could think of'. Fergal asked, 'Why? I thought after what happened that I'd be THE LAST person you'd want to talk to'. Dresden huffed and said, 'Okay, so the truth is that my father is dating Miss LeBlanc and she put the idea in my head that I might have misunderstood what you said at the field, and it's been driving me crazy to the point where I can't sleep. And since I can't sleep, I figured I'm come see if she was right'. Fergal asked, 'Do you want to come in? I'm getting a little self-conscious standing here in my damn boxers with the door open'. Dresden looked Fergal up and down before laughing and then he said, 'Okay'. Fergal stepped back and held the door open so Dresden could come inside. Fergal shut the door and Dresden said, 'I just want to know how I could have possibly misunderstood you when you said that you didn't WANT to be friends anymore'. Fergal lowered his head and knew that what he was fixing to say had a VERY HIGH possibility of turning bad but he said, 'It's not that I don't want to be friends with you anymore, it's that I don't want to be JUST friends with you anymore'. Dresden had a confused looked on his face and he said, 'I don't understand'. Fergal said, 'You'll figure it out, Dresden. It'll just take a minute'. Dresden crossed his arms, closed his eyes, and started tapping his right foot, a sign that Fergal knew all to well was Dresden trying to figure something out. Dresden eyes popped open a couple minutes later and he asked, 'You want to date me'? Fergal had always liked Dresden's bluntness but right then, it made Fergal drop his head, and he said, 'I - I - I' Dresden asked, 'You know, I'm not gay'? Fergal said, 'I figured as much, that's why I really didn't want to say anything'. Dresden asked, 'We can still be friends though, can't we'? Fergal looked at Dresden and said, 'I'll try'.

The last game of the season for Fergal's school had ended almost an hour ago but he was still laying on his back with his arms behind his head on one of the bench's in the school's locker room in his uniform. Dresden was sitting cross-legged facing Fergal with his back against the wall, still in his uniform as well. They were the only two left in the school besides the janitor who was waiting on them to leave. Dresden said, 'I'm going to be happy when I can get the hell out of here, this school's team is terrible'! Fergal said, 'Yeah, when you're one of the only two damn people on the whole team that have any skills, it does get intolerable'! Dresden laughed and asked, 'Is THAT why our teammates call us the Dynamic Duo because THEY KNOW that we're the only GOOD players on the team'? Fergal could hear the sarcasm in Dresden's voice, they BOTH knew the answer to that. Fergal watched as Dresden stretched his arms up and then Dresden asked, 'What do you say once we get changed out of these sweaty uniforms that we head out and find a place that serves ice cream cake'? Fergal asked, 'You driving'? Dresden said, 'Well, I am the one with the license, you're not old enough to even have a license yet, AND last time I let YOU drive, you fishtailed into a power pole'! Fergal said, 'I'm not sure I will EVER understand how you got the gardai AND both my parents and your father to believe that total bullshit you told'. Dresden said, 'Me neither. Who the hell hits black ice when it's been baking outside? AND, it's Ireland for Christ's sake! How often does it even get cold enough to develop black ice'?

After riding around for what felt like forever, Dresden finally said, 'Fuck this! Want to go back to my place and I'll fix one myself'? Fergal shrugged and asked, 'Mr. Grayson won't mind the late night company'? Dresden rolled his eyes and said, 'He doesn't much care since he started dating Miss LeBlanc'. Fergal said, 'I'll need to call my parents when I get there, I don't want them sending the gardai after me again'. Dresden laughed and said, 'I always thought that was a joke when they told you they'd do that if you stayed out past midnight. I still have a hard time believing they actually did it'! Fergal shook his head and said, 'Me and you both'!

After they got to Dresden's, Dresden went to work on the ice cream cake while Fergal called home and told his mother that he was at Dresden's. By the time that Fergal convinced his mother that he'd be home before daylight, Dresden already had the two layers of cake in the oven, and was sitting on the couch. Fergal walked into the living room, shook his head, and said, 'You'd think I was either an addict or someone who was sleeping with girls left and right by the way she was acting'. Dresden asked, 'Maybe she thinks I'm a bad influence'? Fergal shook his head and said, 'She still thinks you're a virgin. I haven't bothered to correct her'. Dresden said, 'That's one thing I haven't been in almost two YEARS'! Fergal said, 'I know'. Dresden asked, 'I'm guessing you still are though, little Robin'? Fergal turned his head away from Dresden and said, 'Oh, shut up'! Dresden laughed and asked, 'I know girls find you attractive, so what's the problem'? Fergal's head snapped toward Dresden, he glared at Dresden, Dresden lowered his head, and said, 'Right, you're not into girls'. Dresden turned so he was sitting sideways on the couch, using his right fist to prop up his head, and said, 'You know, if the girl knows what she's doing, even if you don't want it to, sometimes your body will betray you'. Fergal rolled his eyes and said, 'Sure, Dresden. Maybe if I ever let one touch me, I'll find out. The mistake you're mind is making is that I don't WANT them to touch me'! Dresden asked, 'And yet, if I wanted to, you'd let ME, wouldn't you'? Fergal bit down, he knew he'd make his teeth hurt if he didn't stop, but there was NO WAY he was answering that! Dresden placed the index finger on his left hand just below Fergal's left ear and slowly trailed the finger down Fergal's neck. Fergal twisted around when Dresden had finished, making sure he was backed up against the arm of the couch and had his knees pulled to his chest, he asked, 'What in the hell was THAT, Dresden'? Dresden said, 'Just debating something'. Fergal got a VERY confused look on his face and he asked, 'And, that requires you to touch me'? Dresden asked, 'And, if it does'? Fergal said, 'It's NOT funny, Dresden! YOU KNOW how I feel! And, I KNOW that you don't'! Dresden asked, 'What's wrong with trying something different'? Fergal said, 'I'm not going to be ANYBODIES plaything'! Dresden said, 'Ya know, Ferg, sometimes the best sex doesn't require emotional attachment'. Fergal said, 'Maybe not, but I DO have an emotional attachment to you'! Dresden placed his left index finger over Fergal's lips and asked, 'Does it REALLY matter, Ferg? We're still lads! Loosen up and have some fun before you grow up'! Fergal turned his head to the right and said, 'It matters to me'. Dresden used his left hand to get Fergal to face Dresden again before leaning in to quickly kiss him, barely an inch separated them, and Dresden asked, 'Does it STILL matter'? Fergal said, 'Dresden, I -' Dresden leaned in and kissed him again, this time in the process grabbing his legs and forcing them away from his chest, pulling back again, Dresden asked, 'Does it'? Fergal was nervous and said, 'I - I - I'm scared'. Dresden said, 'Don't be, I won't hurt you'. Dresden leaned in and kissed him again. Fergal felt Dresden's hands under his shirt, Fergal put his hands on Dresden's shoulders, and pushed back, Dresden broke the kiss, and asked, 'What now'? Fergal asked, 'What about your father'? Dresden said, 'A heard of elephants couldn't wake him up'. Fergal asked, 'And, the cake'? Dresden said, 'Still plenty of time'. Fergal placed his right hand behind Dresden's head and started to pull Dresden's head back toward him, Dresden's smirked before leaning in to kiss him again. Fergal felt as Dresden's arms slid under his back and he started trying to get out of his shirt because he didn't want it to get stretched out. Fergal put his right hand around Dresden's throat and pushed back and Dresden said, 'Dammit, Ferg'! Fergal quickly got out of his shirt before tossing it on the back of the couch and said, 'I don't want it getting stretched out, I like that shirt'. Dresden shook his head and said, 'Of course, you would, you're a Spider Man fan'. Fergal used his right hand to grab a handful of the front of Dresden's shirt and asked, 'Well'? Dresden asked, 'Are you actually going to let me kiss you or keep interrupting'? Fergal said, 'Well, the sooner you get out of yours, the sooner you can find out'. Dresden said, 'You're learning'. Dresden removed his shirt, tossing it up with Fergal's, and then leaned in and kissed Fergal again. As Dresden began to trail kisses down Fergal's neck, Fergal said, 'Mmm, I like this, Dresden'. As Dresden started to unbutton Fergal's jeans, Fergal thought briefly about stopping him, but he didn't really WANT Dresden to stop. Dresden unzipped Fergal's jeans and said, 'I need you to lift slightly'. Fergal asked, 'Huh'? Dresden said, 'So I can get your jeans off'. Fergal said, 'Oh'! Fergal lifted his butt slightly so Dresden could get his jeans down, Fergal kicked out of them once they were low enough. Dresden began to again trail kisses down Fergal's neck and Fergal began to unbutton Dresden's trousers, as he unzipped Dresden's trousers, he felt Dresden bite his neck causing him to jerk and yelp. Dresden looked at Fergal and asked, 'Aw, so you're not into that'? Fergal said, 'I don't like getting bitten if THAT'S what you mean'! Dresden kissed Fergal's forehead before saying, 'Such a sweet little thing'. As Dresden again kissed Fergal, Fergal slid Dresden's trousers down, Dresden quickly kicking out of them when they were low enough. Dresden sat back on his haunches and Fergal asked, 'Why are you stopping'? Dresden gripped Fergal's wrists with his hands and pulled him into a sitting position and Fergal asked, 'What'? Dresden sat back on the couch and Fergal asked, 'Dresden'? Dresden pulled Fergal so he was straddling Dresden's lap and Dresden said, 'That's better'. Fergal said, 'Uh'. Fergal felt as Dresden wrapped his arms around his lower back and then Dresden said, 'Come on and kiss me already'. Fergal kissed Dresden, he was confused by Dresden's actions when Dresden's poked at Fergal's lips with his tongue, but it only took him a few seconds to take the hint, and open his mouth. Fergal dug his nails into Dresden's shoulders as he felt Dresden's tongue in his mouth, he liked that feeling. As Dresden began to try to grind their crotches together, Fergal knew what he wanted, he just didn't know if Dresden did. The next thing Fergal realized, he was on his back, and both he and Dresden no longer had underwear on, but with Dresden just staring at him, he couldn't help asking, 'Why'd you stop'? Dresden said, 'Because, I don't actually know how um -' Dresden cleared his throat before continuing, 'How guys have sex'. Fergal's voice rose several octaves when he asked, 'And, you think I do? I'm a virgin, you jackass'! Dresden's head dropped down to Fergal's left shoulder and he started laughing, it wasn't long before Fergal was laughing too. Fergal, the first to stop laughing asked, 'You didn't think this through very well, did you'? Fergal's heart felt like it jumped to his throat when he heard an 'Ahem'. Fergal and Dresden looked in the direction of the voice and Fergal said, 'Mr. Grayson'! At the same time Dresden said, 'Dad'! Fergal looked at Dresden and asked, 'A heard of elephants, huh'? Mr. Grayson asked, 'Actually, noise doesn't wake me up, but I do have to ask Dresden, do you have something in the oven that you forgot about'? As soon as Mr. Grayson mentioned it, Fergal's nose caught the scent of something burning, and Dresden jumped up, and said, 'Oh shit'! Dresden ran to the kitchen and as Fergal began to get up and get dressed, Mr. Grayson didn't say a word, after Fergal was finished however, Mr. Grayson said, 'I didn't realize Dresden was gay'. Fergal said, 'I don't know if it's that, I think he just likes sex'. Mr. Grayson said, 'Well, next time he wants to get involved with a lad, he might want to make sure he knows HOW'. Fergal felt his cheeks heat up even though he was trying not to laugh. Mr. Grayson asked, 'So, YOU ARE gay'? Fergal shrugged and said, 'I don't know. I guess it depends on if I ever actually find a lass I don't mind touching me since I'm not sure I COULD be like Dresden'.

The next school day, Fergal stood in front of his locker before the first bell just staring at the door to his locker, someone had spray painted in black the word 'faggot' on his locker door. He didn't understand, the only people who knew he was into boys were Dresden and Mr. Grayson! Walking into his first class a few second late, the teacher said, 'Nice of you -' The lady didn't even get to finish her sentence before the students started yelling that he was faggot. The teacher was trying to get control of her class back, Fergal lowered his head and started to walk back to his seat without turning and running or breaking down in tears, when one of the other students tripped him causing him to land on his hands and knees. As the students began making jokes about THAT being the position he belonged in, the teacher was still attempting to get control of her class, and Fergal quickly got up and almost ran back to his seat. When he opened his textbook and saw the picture that was marking the page they were currently on, his heart felt like it was in his stomach, he couldn't stop the tears as he whispered, 'Dresden set me up'! After the class let out, Fergal went into the bathroom, and considered just staying there the rest of the day. He asked, 'Why would he do that? I thought we were friends'! Bálor said, 'Fergal, I -' Bálor was cut off as the bathroom door opened and Fergal came face-to-face with Dresden. Fergal asked, 'Why did you do it'? Dresden used his left hand to grab Fergal by the throat, he forced Fergal back against the wall, slipped his right hand into the front of Fergal's jeans, and said, 'Because, the other students already know I like sex, but we all know that faggots like YOU are going to BURN IN HELL for what you are'! As Dresden began to stroke Fergal, he asked, 'Even after what I did by humiliating you, you still don't even really want to stop me, do you'? As Dresden continued to stroke Fergal, Fergal leaned his head back against the wall and began to buck. Dresden withdrew his hand, shook his head, and said, 'You really are disgusting'! Dresden turned and walked out of the bathroom, whatever he'd come in for forgotten. Fergal slid down the wall, covered his mouth with the back of his left hand, and cried, 'Bálor'!

Later that day, he informed his Gaelic coach that he would not be returning the following year. As much as he loved Gaelic, he just wouldn't be able to play anymore. His coach tried to convince him just to give it time and everyone would forget about it, but when he mentioned his unwillingness to play with Dresden anymore, his coach accepted his decision.

And, the coach ended up being wrong. The students didn't forget. At the end of the school year, Fergal BEGGED his parents to let him switch schools starting with the coming school year, but they told him that running from his problems wouldn't solve anything and refused.

Allen, age twenty-seven. Allen lowered his head as he was buttoning up his shirt, he heard the man behind him say, 'This was a mistake'. Without turning around, Allen asked, 'Why'? The man said, 'I'm married for Christ's sake, so are you'! Allen asked, 'So'? The man said with anger in his voice, 'Dammit, Allen, I love Lisa! AND, our daughter! Don't you love Wendy'? Allen didn't respond and the man asked, 'Why did you even marry her'? Allen asked, 'Wasn't that what I was supposed to do'? The man asked, 'What'? Allen said, 'She loves me and I want kids'. Allen didn't have to turn around to know the man was shaking his head, and the man said again with anger in his voice, 'Jesus Christ, Allen! What the hell is wrong with you'? Allen began to jerk his head left then right, he did that a few times before saying, 'It's my fault'. The man had concern in his voice when he asked, 'Allen'? Allen started using the heel of his right hand to hit himself in the right side of the head, hard and repeatedly, as he repeated over and over, 'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid'! He felt his right wrist being grabbed and him being pulled back to sit on the bed and he heard the man say, 'Christ, Allen'! Allen lowered his head and said, 'Daniel, I can't love people'. Daniel, who was sitting behind him asked, 'What do you mean'? Allen said, 'EVERYONE I love dies'! Daniel said, 'EVERYONE dies, Allen, its part of life. Does this have to do with how your father died'? Allen jumped up out of Daniel's grasp, spun around, and shouted, 'Don't you ever bring that man up around me'! Allen saw the concern on Daniel's face, Daniel said, 'Allen, I know your father was killed. And, I know that your mother's in jail for it'. Allen shouted, 'You know nothing about what happened that night or about what kind of person that man was! And, don't you ever act like you do'! Daniel held his hands up at shoulder height, palms facing toward Allen, and said, 'Okay, I'm sorry'. Allen lowered his head and Daniel said, 'Lisa CAN'T find out about this though! I don't want to lose her AND Jerica because I made a mistake'. Allen shrugged and said, 'I don't plan on telling Wendy either, it'll be better that way, but if Lisa finds out, blame me'. Daniel said, 'Allen, whether it was a mistake or not, it was a decision we BOTH made'. Allen shook his head and said, 'Not if she finds out'. Daniel looked upset and said, 'Allen'.

The night Allen got back to Gainesville. Allen was on his knees next to the bed, with his eyes closed, his hands in his lap, and his head leaning against the mattress. Allen whispered, 'I KNOW what Daniel and I did was wrong. I KNOW he loves Lisa and Jerica, they're his WHOLE WORLD! I KNOW he thinks I don't care about Wendy, but I DO, it's just after Anne died, I REFUSE to love anyone! I know that I'm not supposed to believe in curses but how can I NOT? EVERYONE I've loved has died, I don't want Wendy to die because I fell in love with her. But, whether I love her or not, cheating on her was WRONG and using Daniel because I'm still afraid of intimacy isn't JUST wrong, it's CRUEL to someone who says I'm like a little brother. God, I've tried to behave like a GOOD Christian, I just keep fucking it up! I don't know what to do anymore! Please, help me to know what to do'! Allen raised his head and as he blinked his eyes open, he realized he'd been crying, using the left sleeve of his shirt to clear his eyes, he looked at the bedroom door, and whispered, 'Shit'! Wendy who was standing in the doorway asked, 'You cheated on me'? Allen stood up to face her and said, 'I -' Wendy interrupted by shouting, 'You cheated on me with Daniel'? Allen said, 'I -' Wendy interrupted again by asking with tears in her eyes, 'You don't love me'? Allen said, 'I -' Allen cut himself off as Wendy walked up to him. Wendy asked both angry and with tears in her eyes, 'And, who the hell is Anne'? Allen knew he should just tell Wendy the truth, that Anne was like a baby sister in the time he knew her, but he still couldn't talk about her. When Allen didn't respond, Wendy slapped him. Over and over. Switching between hitting his left cheek and his right. Allen didn't know how many times she slapped him before he brought his arms up to shield his face as he dropped to his knees. Allen didn't quite know why but the sound of her retreating footsteps scared him, he felt his heart speed up, and the tears return to his eyes, he interlaced his finger behind his lowered head as he continued to use his arms to shield his face. Allen listened as Wendy's footsteps returned. When nothing happened, Allen lowered his arms as he raised his head to look up at Wendy standing in front of him. As soon as he did so, he was hit in the left side of the head, the right side of his head colliding with the wooden bed frame, he brought his arms back up to shield his head, he felt the same thing that had collided with his head hitting his left arm and side, and all he could think to say was, 'Stop, daddy, please stop'! That only seemed to make Wendy angrier as she screamed, 'I'm not your fucking father'! As Allen kept getting hit, it didn't want to register that Wendy was the one hitting him, and he was wondering if his father was FINALLY going to kill him. Allen heard something hit the floor and Wendy shouted, 'Get out'! Allen didn't even attempt to move, he felt the repeated kicks on his side and back as Wendy shouted, 'Get out, Allen! Get the fuck out'! Allen slowly stood up and then was confused as he asked, 'Wendy'? He couldn't figure out what Wendy was doing there. Wendy shouted, 'Get out'! He walked out of the bedroom and out of the front door of the house. Walking along the sidewalk, he wasn't even sure where he was, all he knew was something wet was running down the left side of his face and he wasn't wearing shoes. As he continued walking, it started to feel like the world was spinning, and all he could think was that he needed to stay on the sidewalk. He heard a car pull alongside him as he walked and the driver asked, 'Sir, are you okay'? It didn't stop him from walking, even though more stumbling was involved then walking at that point. The male driver again asked, 'Sir'? He heard a car door open and soon felt a hand on his left shoulder which caused him to stop and the driver again asked, 'Sir'? Allen saw the police uniform.

The next thing Allen remembers is waking up and it takes him a few moments to realize he's in a hospital. Allen didn't know what he was doing there but he wondered if it had to do with his splitting headache. He reached up with his left hand to touch the left side of his head, only to discover a bandage that caused a sharp shooting pain just by touching it and that's when he remembered what Wendy had done. Wendy and NOT his father! He sat up and heard someone say, 'Nice to see you're back with the conscious'. He looked toward the door where the voice came from and even though he recognized the voice, he asked, 'Who are you'? The man said, 'I'm with the Gainesville Police Department'. It took a moment before Allen asked, 'You're the officer who stopped me'? The officer said, 'Yes. Do you mind if I ask you a couple questions'? Allen shrugged and said, 'I don't know what I could possibly tell you but okay'. The officer asked, 'What's your name? You didn't have a wallet, ID, or driver's license so we're not real sure what to call you'. Allen said, 'Allen Jones'. The officer said, 'Full name, please'. Allen said, 'Neal'. The officer asked, 'Can you spell that'? Allen said, 'N-E-A-L'. The officer said, 'Your full name'. Allen said, 'A-L-L-E-N N-E-A-L J-O-N-E-S'. The officer asked, 'Date of birth'? Allen said, 'June 2nd, 1977'. The officer asked, 'Do you have family in the area'? Allen didn't even think being saying, 'My wife, Wendy'. The officer asked, 'Would you happen to know how we could get in contact with her'? Realizing his mistake in mentioning Wendy, Allen shook his head and said, 'Not right off'. The officer asked, 'Do you know what happened to you'? Allen turned so his legs were hanging off the bed but he had his head down, he KNEW what happened, but he wasn't going to get Wendy in trouble for HIS mistake! Allen's head began to jerk left then right, repeating the motion a few times, before he began to use the heel of his left hand to hit himself hard in the side of the head where the bandage was, as he began repeating, 'My fault'! He felt someone grab his left wrist with their hand and realized it was the officer when Allen struggled to get his wrist free and the officer began to call, 'Nurse'! Allen head began jerking again as he kept repeating, 'My fault'!

The next thing Allen remembers is again waking up still in the hospital but when he realizes he's been strapped down, he also realized that he'd probably been knocked out. Two things he knew in that moment, he wasn't claustrophobic but he HATED being tied down. As he began to struggle to get loose, he also began to panic. He heard a female voice say, 'Mr. Jones, you need to stop'. Realizing someone was there, he panicked MORE, struggling HARDER to get loose! The woman said, 'Mr. Jones, if you don't stop, we'll have to put you back out'. In a full blown panic attack, all he could get out was, 'He's coming, he's coming. God, don't let him get me'! The woman asked, 'Whose coming'? Where the straps were was beginning to hurt as hard as he was pulling but he managed to get out, 'Daddy's coming. He's coming, he's coming'. The woman said, 'Mr. Jones, your father's dead'. What the woman said didn't seem to sink in because he just started over again, 'He's coming, he's coming. God, don't let him get me'!

The next thing Allen remembers is again waking up still in the hospital and still being strapped down. He immediately began to struggle again only to have someone grab him by his shoulders and say, 'Mr. Jones, stop'! He looked at the man and asked, 'Who are you'? The man said, 'I'm a psychiatrist that works with this hospital, and a few others if they're short-staffed'. Allen didn't say anything so the man asked, 'Do you know why you're tied down'? Allen shook his head and the man said, 'You're tied down because he started hitting yourself in the head. Hospitals do tend to tie someone down if they're deemed a threat to themselves'. Allen asked, 'So, how do I get loose? I don't like being tied down'. The man said, 'I gathered that from what the nurse said'. Allen said, 'You didn't answer my question'. The man said, 'When you're no longer deemed an immediate threat to yourself'. Allen asked, 'And, how do I prove that'? The man removed his hands from Allen's shoulders, stood up straight, and said, 'Tell me why you thought your father was coming to get you'. Allen turned his head away from the man and the man said, 'Mr. Jones, I'm a psychiatrist, believe me, there isn't much you could tell me that I haven't heard before. And, if it helps to get you to open up a little, I tried being a criminal psychiatrist, but I couldn't do it after listening to every sick and perverted thing that one of my clients did to their child victims before killing them. Pedophilia is one thing but that was, God, help me, THAT was BEYOND sick'! Allen looked at the man and the man said, 'Remember, whatever you say, I don't repeat unless I consider you a threat to others'. Allen didn't say anything and the man asked, 'Were you abused'? Allen turned his head away from the man, he felt the straps being undone, and the man said, 'Dammit! When will they EVER learn? You can't fucking tie EVERYONE down! Sometimes, tying them down makes it WORSE'! After Allen felt the last strap be undone, he said, 'Thank you'. The man said, 'You know, you should talk out some of your problems. They're only going to get worse'. Allen said, 'That's not optional in my line of work'. The man asked, 'What do you do'? Allen said, 'I work in TNA'. The man looked confused and Allen said, 'Total Nonstop Action Wrestling'. The man shrugged and said, 'Well, whether you get help after you leave or not, you are going to be on a forty-eight psych hold'.

Fergal, age twenty. He was at the car, the car he was waiting for the driver of since he preferred NOT driving himself. Fergal sat on the trunk of the car with his wrestling gear luggage bag sitting in front of him on the ground. Fergal yawned before crossing his arms, lowering his head, and closing his eyes. He heard someone say, 'Hello, Ferg'. Fergal's eyes popped open and his head snapped in the direction of the voice, he'd know THAT VOICE ANYWHERE, and he asked, 'Dresden'? Dresden said, 'No one other'. Fergal stood up off the trunk and asked, 'What do you want'? Dresden asked, 'Can't an old friend see what their old friend is up too'? Fergal crossed his arms and the irritation in his voice was apparent as he said, 'We quit being friends the moment you decided to get the whole damn school to start calling me a faggot and don't forget that fucking picture'! Dresden smirked and said, 'I'm still surprised you even finished school'. Fergal the irritation in his voice still apparent as he said, 'Well, I did and I moved on from THAT part of my life'! Dresden's smirk only grew as he asked, 'Hmm, I wonder what your employer would think if they found out you're a faggot'? ANY confidence Fergal had in facing Dresden was GONE and he was visibly upset as he said, 'Dresden, PLEASE don't'! Dresden used his right hand, grabbed Fergal by the chin, and he asked, 'I wonder, what would you do to keep me quiet'? Fergal who was still visibly upset as he said, 'You ruined ANY chance I had of doing MORE with Gaelic, PLEASE DON'T ruin this too'! Dresden asked, 'So tell me, what WOULD you do'? Since Dresden still had hold of Fergal's chin, he couldn't lower his head, but he lowered his eyes, and he whispered, 'Anything'. Dresden released Fergal's chin and said, 'Very good. Grab your bag, you're coming with me'.

As Fergal felt the kisses on his neck, he really didn't understand Dresden. Dresden wasn't gay but he liked sex even with other men apparently. Dresden considered Fergal a faggot but he'd went out of his way to track him down so he could blackmail him into letting him do this. Fergal was learning that the more control he let Bálor have, the more control Bálor would take, he'd let Bálor lead him with the women, but he was beginning to see that the little bit of control he had allowed was allowing Bálor to control him in OTHER ways, and there was just something that caused it to seem like a violation. But, while he knew all that, he was seriously considering letting Bálor loose to deal with this, because he did NOT like what was Dresden was doing. His body might be enjoying it BUT his mind WASN'T! Fergal felt the kisses on his stomach and he got a VERY TEMPTING urge to grab Dresden, jerk him up, and break his jaw, but Fergal didn't enjoy fighting, which was one of the bizarre things about his choice of careers, even though it was scripted, it was still fighting. Dresden got within a couple inches of Fergal's face and said, 'Don't fight it'. Before Fergal had the chance to ask what Dresden was talking about, he felt one of Dresden's fingers inside him, Fergal's eyes went wide, and he knew that he DID NOT like it! Fergal asked, 'What the hell are you doing'? As Dresden continued fingering Fergal, he said, 'You're tight. I need you to loosen up'. Fergal asked, 'For what'? Once Dresden added a second finger, he said, 'You'll see, Ferg'. His mind and body were arguing, his mind HATED what Dresden was doing, but his body wanted MORE! When he felt the fingers withdraw, he was relieved, but it was a short-lived relief as he felt Dresden's cock enter him. Fergal yelped, he knew that he could fight Dresden, BUT if he did that then he was risking his career when Dresden told his employers that he had sex with guys, even though if he were honest, Dresden was THE ONLY guy he'd been with romantically. And, whether he liked what was happening or not, he wasn't about to let Dresden destroy something ELSE of his!

It wouldn't be until Fergal went to Japan and started working for New Japan Pro Wrestling that he would FINALLY get free of Dresden. He understood Bálor's fury at allowing Dresden to do that for as long as he did but he felt TRAPPED and there was just something about the idea of allowing Bálor to handle it that had felt WRONG!

Fergal and Allen - 2008

Fergal was sitting at a table in the back of a restaurant, he hadn't actually wanted to come, but the NJPW and TNA guys wanted to get together, have some food, get some drinks, and have some fun. He highly questioned why he'd decided to come, he would've been perfectly happy back home, but NO he lets himself get drug along by his RISE stable mates and then as soon as they set foot in the restaurant they abandon him! Staring out the window, he knew he was in a bad mood, but he didn't have it in him right then to care.

Allen stood in line for his food and kept looking back at Fergal, he wondered if Fergal knew that in order to get food or drinks at this particular restaurant that it required standing in a line. After he'd ordered his food, he decided to walk back to where Fergal was sitting and he asked, 'So, what's the little Irish Prince doing back here all alone'? Fergal glared at Allen and said, 'Don't start, Styles'! Allen said, 'Okay. I just figured I'd let you know that this ISN'T one of those sit-and-be-served restaurants'. Fergal said, 'I'm not hungry'. Allen crossed his arms and said, 'Ya know, you DON'T have to act like an asshole, we're NOT in front of the crowds anymore'! Fergal shook his head and went back to staring out the window. Allen sat down in the seat across from Fergal and Fergal said, 'Go away, Styles'! Allen asked, 'How about no'? Fergal looked at Allen and said, 'Okay, if you don't want me trying to convince you nicely. FUCK OFF'!

Fergal watched as Allen got up and went to get his order. He HOPED that Allen got the message that he wanted to be left ALONE, but no such luck. When Allen sat back down with his tray of food, Fergal asked, 'What the hell do I have to do to convince you that I want to be left ALONE'? Allen asked, 'How about starting with your name'? Fergal shook his head and said, 'My name's Fergal but since Fergal isn't easy for the Japanese population to pronounce, I ended as Prince Devitt. Even though, I'm surprised that they didn't want my last name changed too since the damn Japanese ring announcer keeps introducing me as Devitt-O, there is NOT a damn O ANYWHERE in my name! How about you'?

Quick Note: Listen to the Japanese ring announcer when he introduces Prince Devitt, it REALLY DOES sound like there's an O at the end.

Allen said, 'My name's Allen Jones, I guess you can figure out how I'm so comfortable going by AJ. Even though in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have named my oldest boy, Ajay. When we're out in public, he gets so confused when people will start saying AJ'! Fergal asked, 'Still really little'? Allen nodded, Fergal laughed, and said, 'Poor lad'. Allen said, 'My youngest in Avery. I'm wondering how many more boys we'll end up with before I end up with a girl. I'm kind of jealous of Daniel, he ended up with a girl and a boy without ending up with doubles'. Fergal asked, 'Daniel a friend of yours'? Allen said, 'Yeah. His sons name is Joshua Allen. Can you guess where he got THAT middle name'? Fergal said, 'Aw, how sweet'. Allen said, 'Ajay's middle name is Covell, though. Covell is Daniel's last name'. Fergal raised an eyebrow and said, 'Uh'. Allen said, 'Yeah, I think Daniel had the right idea and I had the wrong one. I guess he learned from MY mistake though since Joshua is a few months younger then Ajay'. Fergal said, 'It shows how good of friends you are with each other though when you start naming your first-born sons after each other'. Allen said, 'Well, at least you're not like the jackass fans'! Fergal asked, 'What do you mean'? Allen said, 'Your UH earlier was indicating that you THOUGHT EXACTLY what the FANS have ACTUALLY SAID'! Fergal said, 'Christ! They haven't actually said THAT in front of Ajay, have they'? Allen nodded and Fergal said, 'Damn. To accuse you of fucking around with another guy is one thing but to do it in front of your LITTLE kid is crossing a line'. Allen said, 'The first time it was said, I was out with Daniel just goofing around, I had Ajay and HE had Joshua. You talk about two PISSED OFF papas! That actually made it WORSE though'. Fergal shook his head and said, 'Yeah, sometimes you just can't win with the fans'. Allen shook his head and said, 'No, you can't. And, I swear, the next one that thinks they OWN ME, I'm going to -' Fergal interrupted by saying, 'You and me both! THAT pisses me off faster then ANYTHING'!

Fergal returned his attention to staring out the window as Allen ate. Fergal kept glancing at Allen before he couldn't resist asking, 'Have you been to jail'? Allen shook his head and said, 'No. Why'? Fergal said, 'Because you eat like you're afraid someone's going to take your food away'. Allen stopped eating and lowered his head. Fergal said, 'Hey, I didn't mean to ruin your appetite, I just don't see people eat like THAT unless they've been to jail'. Allen said, 'Before I left home, a lot of times, during the school year, what they served as their free lunch was what I pretty much had for the day and the rest of the time, dad had these insane restrictions on HOW LONG it took me to eat'. Fergal said, 'Sounds like an asshole'. Allen shrugged and said, 'He's dead'. Fergal said, 'Sorry'. Allen laughed and said, 'I'm not'! Fergal asked, 'What about your mother'? Allen said, 'In jail'. Fergal was starting to think he should just shut up but said, 'Sorry'. Allen said, 'Yeah, me too. She's NOT the one that should be in jail, I am'!

As soon as Allen said that, he realized he'd made a HUGE mistake! He didn't even KNOW Fergal! Allen whispered, 'Shit'! Fergal asked, 'Why should YOU be in jail'? Allen shook his head and Fergal said, 'Okay'. Allen pushed his tray away, his appetite gone, he got up, and walked outside.

Fergal watched Allen outside for a minute before deciding to follow him, grabbing a fry off Allen's tray and jamming it in his mouth as he went. Fergal walked over to where Allen was leaning against a black car and asked, 'Your ride'? Allen said, 'Yeah, I didn't drive though so I'm stuck here'! Fergal said, 'Yeah, me too'. Before he even realized he said it, Allen whispered, 'I killed my father'. Fergal's eyes went wide and asked, 'What'? Allen said, 'Mom's in jail for his murder but she didn't kill him, I did. If she hadn't grabbed the bat from me, I don't think I would've stopped until the cops either GRABBED ME OR SHOT ME'! Fergal asked, 'How old were you'? Allen said, 'Fourteen'. Fergal couldn't resist asking, 'Why'? Allen's head started to jerk to the left and right, the motion repeated a few times, and Fergal watched with a confused expression on his face. Using the heel of his right hand, Allen began to hit himself in the right side of the head, hard and repeatedly, and said, 'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid'! As Fergal grabbed Allen's right wrist with his left hand, he asked, 'What the hell is wrong with you'? Allen tried using his left hand but Fergal grabbed his left wrist with his right hand before Allen ever made contact, and Fergal asked, 'Allen'? Allen tried to get loose from Fergal's grasp but Fergal knew how to siphon a bit of Bálor's strength and he used it to keep hold of Allen. Allen leaned his head on Fergal's right shoulder and started to cry which caught Fergal COMPLETELY off-guard. Fergal released Allen's wrists and Allen let them drop to his sides. Fergal placed his left hand on Allen's lower back while he stuck his right arm under Allen's left, before placing his right hand on the back of Allen's head. Fergal whispered, 'Shh, its okay, Allen'.

Fergal, age twenty-eight. Fergal said in Japanese, 'Kenta, I'm sorry'! Kenta asked, 'For what, Devitt-san'? Fergal was trying to think, he didn't know what he'd said that was WRONG! He'd spent almost three years learning the Japanese language and he was A LOT better then when he'd first arrived in Nippon in 2006, when he knew NO Japanese, but right now, he knew he'd translated something WRONG and couldn't figure out WHAT! Fergal said, 'I don't know what I said wrong! I KNOW I said SOMETHING incorrectly but I don't know what'! Kenta looked confused and Fergal realized that Kenta WASN'T understanding! He made a promise to himself then and there, IF he could salvage this, he was going to start paying A LOT better attention to Shinsuke's Japanese lessons! Kenta said in Japanese, 'I'll be back out in five minutes, I expect YOU to be gone'. As Kenta walked into his bedroom, Fergal was trying to think, he KNEW what Kenta had said, BUT he knew that if he left, with their schedules the way they were that it was the end of their whatever-the-hell it was! As much as Fergal didn't want to ask for outside help, he knew he needed it! He sent a text to Shinsuke, 'Look, I know with the way I bounce from one woman to the other that you quit asking questions about my sex life within the first couple months, but I need your help. I fucked up my translation, I don't know how, but I know I insulted him. And, he doesn't seem to understand English well enough to understand when I told him that I knew that I fucked up the translation but didn't know how! PLEASE, Shinsuke, HELP'! He received a text back less then a minute later saying, 'I'll send you a text in a minute, copy it down to the most minuscule stroke'! Fergal received a second text that was in Japanese, grabbed a sticky-note and a pen and wrote as quickly as he could without it being a COMPLETE mess! When Kenta came back into the kitchen, he said, 'Leave'! Fergal handed him the sticky-note and honestly wished he knew what he'd written that was making Kenta laugh. Fergal asked, 'What's so funny'? Kenta said, 'I could write better before I even started school'! Fergal prided himself on having neat handwriting so he knew he could do better but writing QUICKLY AND in a language that he did not yet completely understand did not bode well for his neatness. Kenta stepped toward Fergal, placed the thumb on his right hand over Fergal's lips, and said, 'My sweet gaijin'. Fergal bit Kenta's thumb, Kenta jerked his hand back, and said, 'Bad gaijin'! Fergal laughed, he wasn't sure how being called gaijin had basically become Kenta's pet name for him, but he wasn't complaining. As Kenta kissed him, Kenta placed his left hand on the back of Fergal's head. Kenta slipped his right hand into the front of Fergal's trousers. THIS with Kenta, he enjoyed. Fergal slipped his right hand into the front of Kenta's shorts.

Fergal and Allen - 2010

Fergal ran his hands over his face. He'd met a young girl name Kimiko who he'd let Bálor out to save. Kenta wasn't speaking to him because he'd been stupid and ended up in bed with Tyson, even though he honestly wished Kenta would listen, he can't deny that he cares about Tyson, but there's something in the way Tyson acts when they're alone that SCARES him! And now, he's on a plane with Shinsuke to see his protégé, Kazuchika Okada. Why did he have to be stupid? What he had with Kenta was great! He was happy and he wrecked it! MAYBE, he can get Kenta to forgive him if he has time once they get back to Nippon.

Once the plane lands, they eventually end up backstage a couple hours before a TNA event. Shinsuke goes off to find Okada-san while Fergal gets left to get lost. Fergal wasn't to sure where he'd ended up but he ended up walking into the back of someone and said, 'Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going, which I think is how I got lost to begin with'.

Allen turns around, takes an ear bud out of his left ear, and asked, 'Huh'? Fergal said, 'Uh, I said sorry because I walked into you because I wasn't watching where I was going, which I think is how I got lost to begin with'. Allen said, 'Oh! You new here'? Fergal shook his head and said, 'No, I just got drug along by a friend of mine while he checks on his protégé, we're both with New Japan Pro Wrestling'. Allen extended his right hand and said, 'Anyways, I'm Allen Jones'. Fergal shook Allen's hand and said, 'Fergal Devitt'. Allen said, 'You sound Irish'. Fergal smiled and said, 'Well, I better. I'm from Bray'. Allen tilted his head to the right and Fergal said, 'County Wicklow'. Allen shook his head and Fergal said, 'The Republic of Ireland'. Allen said, 'I'm from North Carolina but I've developed a Georgia accent'. Fergal laughed and asked, 'Is that normal for American's'? Allen said, 'I live in Gainesville, Georgia'. Fergal said, 'Well, I live in Tokyo, it doesn't mean I've gained a Japanese accent'. Allen laughed and Fergal asked, 'So, what are you listening too'? Allen said, 'Christian hip-hop'. Fergal asked, 'Christian what hop'? Allen laughed again and said, 'Man, you're funny, Fergal'.

As Allen begins rattling off facts about Christian hip-hop, Fergal tries to pay attention, he REALLY does, but he only understands about half of it, and doesn't actually care about that half. A man comes up to Allen and Fergal and Fergal glances up and mouths, 'Thank you'! The man asked, 'You got him started on Christian hip-hop, didn't you'? Fergal nodded and the man said, 'Well, he'll wind down eventually, until then, my name's Joe. Well, my ring name's Samoa Joe and believe me, unless you've spent time in Samoa OR KNOW Samoan's, it's best just to call me Joe'. Fergal laughed and said, 'Tongans are the same way, I know a few, but to actually try to pronounce their Tongan name, I'd be better off trying a tongue twister at record speed'. Joe asked, 'You're with NJPW'? Fergal nodded and said, 'Yeah. Home of the Tongan Empire, at least, if you listen to Fale when he's drunk'. Joe laughed and asked, 'So, while Allen's winding down, what's YOUR name'? Fergal said, 'Fergal Devitt'. Joe said, 'By your shirt I'm guessing you're either a comic fan or just a Spider Man fan'. Fergal looked down at his Spider Man t-shirt and said, 'Spider Man's my favorite but I do like a few other comics'. Joe asked, 'Well, while you're here, want to meet the rest of the comic club'? Fergal asked, 'Comic club'? Joe said, 'Yeah, we collect and trade comics, and I pity ANYBODY who winds Allen up on Christian hip-hop! The only thing worse to wind him up on is his kids. Ajay Covell, Avery, and baby Albey'. Fergal asked, 'Ajay Covell'? Joe asked, 'Yeah, why'? Fergal lowered his head and said, 'That's odd. I met a guy a couple years ago whose oldest son was named Ajay Covell'. Joe asked, 'Really'? Fergal said, 'Yeah. Covell is Daniel's last name'. Joe asked, 'Daniel Covell'? Fergal said, 'Yeah'. Joe asked, 'Have you met Allen before'? Fergal looked at Allen and said, 'I don't think so. I mean, it's strange but this GUY I met, their youngest was named Avery NOT Albey'. Joe said, 'You said a couple years ago though, Albey was born LAST YEAR'! Fergal looked at Joe and said, 'Hell, I don't know, maybe I did'.

Allen looked at Fergal, then Joe, back at Fergal, and asked, 'What's going on'? Joe said, 'We're just trying to figure out if you two met before'. Allen shrugged and said, 'I don't think so'. Fergal said, 'Well, neither did I, but I remember a couple years ago meeting a guy whose oldest son was named Ajay Covell and whose youngest was Avery'. Joe said, 'And, since Albey wasn't born until LAST YEAR, Avery would've still been the youngest'. Allen said, 'Well, if we met before, I'm sorry I don't remember you'. Fergal said, 'Hey, I don't remember YOU either'.

Fergal and Allen - 2014

Fergal sent a text to Allen, 'Hey, Allen, I know we've talked some about your current indie situation since your fall-out with Dixie which resulted in you leaving TNA, but how would you like to join NJPW as my replacement as leader of Bullet Club'? Allen responded, 'What do you mean your replacement'? Fergal responded, 'Once my contract with NJPW is up, I'll be leaving for WWE, and they're going to need a replacement for me, and I figured who better then The Phenomenal One. Well, I'll have to get my US passport before I'll actually start on NXT, but that's a subject for a different conversation'. Allen couldn't believe that Fergal had actually thought of HIM as his replacement but he was careful with his response, 'As much as I wouldn't mind the idea of joining NJPW and as long as I won't be taking your position, I'm okay with eventually becoming leader of Bullet Club, but won't you need to clear this with them first'? Fergal responded, 'I already have. They just wouldn't believe me that YOU would want to join NJPW'! Allen shook his head before he responded, 'Well, give them my contact information, and I'll wait on their call'.

A few months passed, standing backstage with Bullet Club, Fergal finally let it sink in that his stay in New Japan was over, and he didn't want to admit it right then but he seriously wondered if he'd made a mistake. He wanted to be in WWE, he couldn't deny that, but he also knew that New Japan was HOME! Chad said, 'We can't say it in front of the fans, BUT we're ALL here, and -' Chad looked at Fergal and Fergal said, 'Bullet Club forever, Bullet Club for life'! As all the others members of Bullet Club repeated what Fergal said and then they ALL did the 'Too Sweet' sign, Allen was thankful for the invention of the camera phone as he got a short video of what Fergal said PLUS them all doing the 'Too Sweet' sign.

Fergal was standing out in the parking lot and he said, 'Remember, Allen, you'll be announced as the newest member of Bullet Club tomorrow. Chad will be interim leader until NJPW gets off their asses and recognizes YOU as the leader, and remember, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT let them ruin Bullet Club'! Allen asked, 'How could I stop them'? Fergal said, 'I'll figure SOMETHING out! I'll be damned if they destroy Bullet Club the way they did RISE! Bullet Club is MY GROUP, MY FRIENDS, and I'LL BE DAMNED IF I LET THEM WRECK IT'! Allen asked, 'Then maybe you should stay'? Fergal shook his head and said, 'As long as Chad OR YOU are in charge, I know it's safe'!

Hours later, Allen watched as Fergal's plane left and couldn't shake the feeling that Fergal had become to invested in Bullet Club but he couldn't say much, HE'D become to invested in the X-division in TNA, but while there wouldn't be A DAMN THING that could convince him to go back to TNA, he knew that if the NJPW writers started fucking with Bullet Club, Fergal would be back in a heartbeat.

-End Flashback-

Allen was lying in mud as he came to, sitting back on his haunches he looked around, and said, 'Fuck! It looks like a bomb went off! What the hell happened'? Allen looked down at Fergal who was still laying in mud before looking back up at the Raven Cliff Falls and asked, 'What the fuck happened to the water'? Allen shook his head, looked at Fergal before using his right hand to touch Fergal's right shoulder, he figured he'd ask why Fergal was stark-ass naked later! When Fergal didn't respond, Allen shook him by his shoulder, but still no response. Allen took his phone out of pocket but then quickly dismissed the idea of calling 911. First, how the hell would he explain the explosion? He didn't want to be arrested as a fucking terrorist! Second, Fergal is Fomorian, and there would be NO WAY to explain THAT! And third, it was Christmas and Raven Cliff Falls probably wasn't even open! Allen put his phone back in his pocket, looked at Fergal, and asked, 'Where the hell are your clothes'?! Allen stood up and started looking around for Fergal's clothes, well ANY clothes that would fit Fergal. Allen was standing at the edge of Raven Cliff Falls and didn't understand how even with water someone could survive a fall from there but he figured it was the advantage to being Fomorian. Picking up Fergal's clothes and phone, he proceeded back down to where Fergal still lay. Allen finally noticed the chains around Fergal's wrists and ankles and said, 'Suicidal maniac'! Not knowing where the key was, IF there was a key to the locks, he had the Nightmare slide down his right arm and form the blade of a lance. He knew from testing that the Nightmare could solidify and so he had the Nightmare harden as he held Fergal's wrists up with his left hand. Carefully, he used the Nightmare to slice the chains but avoiding Fergal's skin. He then repeated the process with the chains around Fergal's ankles. As the Nightmare retreated up Allen's arm, he said, 'Fucking hell'! As Allen got Fergal dressed, he said, 'I swear, if it wasn't for the fact I have Ajay with me, I think I'd drag your ass out of here without this shit'! After Allen had gotten Fergal dressed, he shook his head and asked, 'Now, how the hell do I get you out of here? There's NO WAY I can CARRY you THAT far'!

Allen crouched down on Fergal's right side and said, 'I KNOW you're alive but I wish you'd wake up'! Allen ran his hands over his face before shouting, 'Amelia! Amelia, I KNOW you're watching him, what the hell do I do'?

Bálor's castle has collapsed. The bloodied and broken bodies of countless Fomorian in the rubble, Amelia's body among them.

Allen shouted, 'Amelia, dammit! I'm not in the mood for games'! Allen shakes his head before looking at Fergal and saying, 'PLEASE, wake up'! When Fergal still doesn't respond, Allen groans, picks Fergal up in a fireman's carry, and says, 'Thank God, you're only one-ninety! Even though, I'll probably soon be regretting THOSE words'! Allen begins walking the trial back the way he'd came.

Elsewhere in Georgia, Avery said, 'I wish daddy was here'. Albey said, 'Me too'. Avery said, 'I didn't REALLY mean I hate him'! Albey said, 'Me neither'. Wendy said, 'Well, your daddy needs HELP before he can come home and I've already explained that I can't ask him to get it with the kind of job he has'. There's a banging at the door and Wendy asked, 'Who could THAT be? It's Christmas and we're NOT expecting visitors'! Wendy walks over to the front door, unlocks it, opens it, and she doesn't even have time to register anything about the individual before the shot rings out. Avery's eyes go wide, Albey screams, 'Mommy'! Anney begins crying. As the person steps inside, Avery picks Anney up and grabs Albey by his left wrist before taking off running to the backdoor.

Allen says already out of breath, 'One mile down and only about four more to go. Damn, I wish you'd wake up, Fergal'!

Avery doesn't know if they're being followed but he just keeps running, with BOTH Anney and now Albey crying along the way. HE wants to cry too but Ajay isn't there to be the big brother so HE has to be! He NEEDS to find a phone, call 911, and then call Allen or Daniel.

Allen still out of breath says, 'Three miles left and already I'm exhausted! You know, I SHOULD just LEAVE YOU, Fergal'!

Avery has stopped and Albey asks, 'What do we do'? Avery said, 'Give me a minute, I'm thinking, I'm NOT Ajay'!

Allen says trying to catch his breath, 'Two'.

Avery said, 'We need to find a neighbor whose home and see if they'll let me use their phone. I'll call 911 and tell them what happened and then I'll call daddy or Uncle Daniel'. Albey asked, 'Is daddy coming home'? Avery said, 'I don't know. I hope so'.

Allen knew he was going to need a shower, between the mud and the sweat, he was dirty and stinky! Allen says out of breath, 'One'.

One mile later, Ajay said, 'Daddy'! Allen says out of breath, 'You're riding in the back with D.J.' Ajay asked, 'What happened'? Allen shouted, 'In the back'! Ajay jumped but quickly obeyed. Allen didn't mean to scare Ajay but he was tired! Getting Fergal sat in the front passenger seat, Allen went around to the driver's side and collapsed into the seat. Ajay asked, 'What happened'? Allen covered his face and said, 'I don't know, Ajay! I honestly DO NOT KNOW'!

Without even thinking about it, Allen began driving back to Orlando, the drive going more at its normal speed then when he'd driven up from Orlando. During the drive, Ajay stayed oddly quiet and Allen was attempting to figure out what had happened when he touched Fergal in that tornado-shaped shadow. He saw parts of Fergal's past and while it was odd for him to see those parts, it scared him to think that Fergal might have also seen parts of HIS past. A past he desperately tries to hide.

After arriving back in Orlando, Allen said, 'We're -' Allen cut himself off before correcting himself, 'I'M going to pack up some of Fergal's stuff, get Jack-O, and then we're heading back to Georgia. I'M not going to keep staying here, I miss home, and I'll be damned if I let him stay ALONE'! Ajay asked, 'Do you need help'? Allen shook his head and said, 'Just keep an eye on Dante and IF Fergal wakes up, tell him we'll come back for his comics and Lego's when I'm in my truck and NOT my car'. Ajay said, 'It sounds like you're planning to move him in or something'. Allen said, 'Ajay, I carried the son a bitch all the way back from the Falls, I'm not about to let him go off and try to commit suicide AGAIN'! Ajay knew his dad was stubborn and decided to just let it go.

After packing up several sets of Fergal's clothes, some essentials, Jack-O, and the items belong to Jack-O, Allen began the drive back to Georgia. Ajay asked, 'So, WHEN are we coming back for the Lego's and comics'? Allen said, 'That depends on when I crash'. Ajay said, 'Dad, you KNOW it's not a good idea to run until you crash. It's NOT healthy AND it's DANGEROUS'! Allen shrugged and said, 'I know but I didn't PLAN on Fergal being suicidal either'!

Finally back in Gainesville, Allen pulled up to a two-story, four bedroom house, and Ajay asked, 'Why didn't you EVER tell mom about this place'? Allen said, 'Look, the other house is more hers anyways, I've had THIS place longer then we've had YOU, I actually prefer this one, and it comes in handy when Wendy and I get into it and I don't want to go sit at a fucking hotel'. Ajay said, 'I know dad. I'M actually the only one of the kids that gets to come here too'. Allen said, 'Well, I don't want word getting back by Avery or Albey slipping up'. Ajay asked, 'Aren't you worried that I'LL slip up'? Allen laughed and said, 'Sure, except that YOU stay with ME most of the time, so YOU CAN'T slip up'! Ajay asked, 'Why did you leave Uncle Fergie in the car'? Allen said, 'Because I'm going to go shower, change clothes, and then we're heading back to Orlando'. Ajay said, 'Dad, YOU have Smackdown on Tuesday'! Allen said, 'God, help me, I know'.

After getting the items that he'd brought settled in the guest bedroom, he put Jack-O with Jack-O's food and water in the bathroom, and then went into the master bedroom, HIS bedroom, into that bathroom, showered, put on fresh clothes, walked back into the living room where Ajay was, and said, 'Let's go'. Ajay asked, 'Does your phone still work'? Allen said, 'No, it's fried from getting wet. I'm fine without one right now. I'll worry about it when we get back'.

After putting Dante in his car seat in the back seat of the truck, Ajay getting in the back as well, and then having to maneuver Fergal into the front passengers seat of the truck, Allen got into the driver's seat and began the trek back to Orlando. He HOPED he'd be finished by the time he needed to be on his flight for Smackdown! Of course, he also hoped that Fergal would WAKE UP soon!

Arriving back in Orlando, he was concerned about Fergal still not waking up, but he was also slightly concerned about why Ajay was being as quiet as he was, but he wasn't going to complain, he wasn't in the mood for much discussion anyways. Ajay helped him get the Lego's packed in the bed of the truck and then helped to get the tarp over the bed to protect the boxes, he didn't plan on getting yelled at because the Lego's that Fergal had spent YEARS collecting got damaged while he was asleep. He then packed up the comics, trying to keep them in the bizarre order that Fergal had them. Sitting the box with the comics in the middle between Dante and Ajay, Allen got back into the drivers seat, and began his trek back to Gainesville. He figured that if there was anything else that Fergal REALLY wanted, they could come back for it later.

Pulling back up to the house in Gainesville, Allen asked, 'What the fuck'? Ajay quickly unbuckled, standing up the best he could next to Allen, and asked, 'Avery, Albey, and even Anney? Where's mom? And, what's Uncle Daniel doing here'? Fergal opened his eyes and asked, 'What the hell? Where am I'? Allen and Ajay's heads snapped toward Fergal and Allen said, 'Still alive, if that's what you mean'. Fergal asked, 'How'? Ajay said, 'Daddy saved you'. Fergal said, 'I didn't want to be saved'. Allen said, 'Yeah well, I wasn't just going to let you die'! Fergal looked out the front windshield and asked, 'Where are we'? Allen said, 'Gainesville'. Ajay said, 'Daddy's secret home'. Fergal asked, 'What do you mean secret'? Allen said, 'He means that Wendy doesn't know about it and that he WAS the only one of my kids that did'. Fergal asked, 'What are they doing here'? Allen said, 'I'm about to find out'. Allen unbuckled his seatbelt, got out of the truck, Ajay followed him, Fergal quickly looked back at Dante before unbuckling his seatbelt, and getting out of the truck himself. He felt stiff, he wondered just how long he'd been out. He followed Allen. Avery and Albey both ran at Allen and said, 'Daddy'! Allen picked them both up, Avery in his left arm and Albey in his right. Daniel said, 'Hello, Allen'. Allen asked, 'What are you doing HERE'? Daniel who was holding Anney said, 'We need to talk'. Allen said, 'Well, then talk'. Daniel asked, 'Can we go inside'? Allen said, 'Fine'.

After Allen had unlocked the door, Allen and Daniel sat on the couch in the living room, Ajay, Avery, Albey, and Anney sat in the floor, Fergal who had went back and gotten Dante was standing to Allen's left next to the couch, and Allen asked, 'So, what the hell's going on Daniel? Where's Wendy'? Daniel said, 'By what Avery told me -' Allen cut him off and asked, 'MY Avery'? Avery said, 'Yes'. Allen looked at Avery and asked, 'What happened'? Avery said, 'We'd finished opening presents. We'd cleaned up the wrapping paper and there was a knock at the door'. Allen shrugged asked, 'So'? Avery said, 'We weren't expecting any company. It was just supposed to be us'. Allen said, 'Makes sense. She's still technically my wife and you're my kids, it's best to keep Christmas close to home. That's how we've ALWAYS worked it'. Avery lowered his head and cried, 'Mommy got shot'! Allen, Ajay, and Fergal ALL asked, 'WHAT'?! Albey cried, 'By the bad man with the gun at the door'! Allen looked up at Fergal and Fergal could see the tears forming in Allen's eyes, Ajay had hold of Fergal like a vice as Ajay cried. Daniel said, 'Avery grabbed Anney and Albey and ran out the back. He's been VERY brave! He called the police and when he couldn't get you to answer the phone, he called me'. Despite the tears running down his face, Allen said, 'My phones fried, it got wet'. Daniel said, 'I'm SO sorry, Allen'. Allen's head started to jerk left and right, the movement repeating several times, and Daniel had concern in his voice as he asked, 'Allen'? It had been YEARS since Daniel had seen Allen do THAT! Allen started repeating over and over, 'It's MY fault'! As he repeated it, he began to use the heel of his right hand to hit himself in the right side of the head, hard and repeatedly. It was THE FIRST time that his kids had seen him do THAT! Fergal quickly grabbed Allen's right wrist with his right hand and said, 'Allen, it's NOT your fault'! Despite Fergal holding his wrist, Allen's head snapped toward Daniel, and he shouted through the tears, 'I fucking told you! I tried to fucking tell you! Everyone I love dies! I didn't want to love her because I didn't want her to die because of me'! Daniel stood up and said, 'Allen, this ISN'T YOUR fault'! Allen shouted, 'Don't you get it, you stupid son of a bitch! I can't love people'! As Allen tried to raise his left arm, Fergal quickly placed his left hand on Allen's right hip, pulling him closer which pinned Allen's left arm against Fergal. Daniel said, 'Allen'. Allen's head dropped and said, 'Just leave'. Ajay asked, 'Daddy'? Allen looked at Ajay who was still standing close to Fergal and asked, 'What'? Ajay asked, 'You do still love us, don't you, daddy'? Daniel and Fergal's eyes BOTH went wide. They BOTH knew that THIS wasn't going to end well! Allen's eyes went wide and he started to shake, looking at his kids, Ajay who was close to Fergal, Avery who was on the far right, Albey who was on Avery's right, and Anney who was on Albey's right, he started to shake his head, and said, 'No. No. No. No. No. No. No. God no, don't do this'! Allen leaned his head under Fergal's chin and cried, pulling his knees up to his chest in the process. Ajay asked, 'Daddy'? Fergal said, 'Ajay, leave daddy alone right now. Please'! Ajay said, 'But -' The pleading in Fergal's voice was evident as he interrupted, 'Ajay, PLEASE'! Ajay was concerned but he said, 'Okay'. Daniel asked, 'Why don't you take Avery, Albey, and Anney out back to play'? Fergal said, 'And, Dante too'. Ajay was concerned and said, 'Okay'.

After the kids were all outside, Daniel said, 'I hate to do this but I need to get home. Lisa's already pissed because I left without explaining why and while I KNOW she'll understand when I explain this to her, I still NEED to get home'. Fergal said, 'Go, I'll take care of Allen'. Daniel asked, 'You sure'? Fergal nodded the best he could and said, 'I'm sure'.

After Daniel had left, Fergal asked, 'Allen'? When there wasn't a response, Fergal said, 'Allen, listen to me'. Still no response, which Fergal wasn't sure if he was happy about or not considering he wanted to know Allen was listening, but he said, 'I know you're scared and I know it might not mean much right now, but I'll do everything I can to make sure they stay safe, that your kids stay safe'. Allen cried, 'I don't know what to do, I can't NOT love my kids'! Fergal said, 'Nobody in their right mind would ask you too. Now, why don't you get some rest and let me worry about this for awhile'.

It took several minutes before Allen began to relax and Fergal realized his mistake. Fergal whispered, 'Shit, THAT'S NOT what I meant'! Realizing that he didn't have the first clue where Allen's room was, he figured he was going to be stuck for awhile, unless he could figure out a quiet way to get Ajay's attention without disturbing the sleeping Allen leaning against him. Summoning one of his Nightmare's, it sank into a black puddle on the floor before quickly moving across the floor.

Ajay was keeping Anney and Dante up close to the house while keeping an eye on Avery and Albey, he wanted to play too, but he knew he could lose track of them if he got caught up in playing, and he didn't figure his dad would EVER forgive him if he lost one of his younger siblings, and he didn't plan on being the cause of his uncle going into another downward spiral if something happened to Dante. Ajay felt something tug at his right ankle, quickly spun around looking down, he was confused at first until he realized it was a different form of one of the Nightmare's, it was pointing back into the house, and Ajay whispered, 'I have to keep an eye on everyone else. Can YOU do that'? He couldn't believe he was talking to what looked like a puddle of ink! When the Nightmare moved out of his way, Ajay proceeded to walk inside.

Once back in the living room, Ajay asked, 'So, what do you need'? Fergal said, 'To know where Allen's room is, he's out'. Ajay laughed and said, 'Go up the stairs, first door, well, ONLY door on the left. MY room in straight in front of the stairs, the bathroom is further down the hall, and the guest room is at the end of the hall. Below my room, the bathroom, and the guest room is the Bulldog room, you'll understand the name if you ever go in the there, it also has a door leading to the backyard. Under dads room is the game room, the entrance is under the stairs. You're in the living room, the kitchen is what that doorway if you look straight ahead leads too. The two car garage that has dad's car, truck, and motorcycle and my 4-wheeler is attached next to the kitchen but you have to go outside to get to the garage'. Fergal asked, '4-wheeler'? Ajay said, 'Yeah, that's why I like this place so much, the backyard is a wooded area that has an AMAZING path for 4-wheeling! Now, I need to get back outside'. Ajay walked back outside and Fergal couldn't help but think that the house that Wendy liked might be bigger but if the one Allen liked had that much more property too it, it probably cost more, because he knew that Wendy's didn't have much yard to it. He didn't have A CLUE why he was thinking THAT! Fergal and Allen disappeared.

Fergal tried to gently get loose but quickly figured out that it just wasn't going to work, there wasn't going to be a GENTLE way to get loose from Allen, and Fergal whispered, 'I really didn't think this through'. He'd gotten his left arm stuck when Allen had pulled his knees up to his chest. He knew that teleporting wasn't optional because there wouldn't be ANYTHING gentle about his sudden disappearance.

It wasn't long before Fergal started feeling drowsy and he whispered, 'I haven't even been awake that long'! As he began to nod off, he hoped Ajay would say something if he got in over his head, the poor kid was only eleven after all!

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Authors Note: As far as I can tell, at over 18,000 words this Prologue is longer then ANY of the chapters I did for Face Your Demons or Embrace Them. It wasn't intentional but when I started those 'Flashbacks' I'd originally only had the idea set out for Allen's childhood leading up to the murder of his father and him running, but then I expanded further from that, and then added in how some interactions between Fergal and Bálor from before they'd become so antagonistic towards one another, then the whole situation with Dresden, and then a couple flashbacks of their individual adult lives, their first two run-ins with each other, and by the time it was all said and done I had like 20 freaking pages of 'Flashbacks'. And, then there was getting back to the situation that was addressed before the start of the 'Flashbacks' and expanding further on that. And, then I had to go back and check for spelling errors, punctuation has NEVER been my strong point, and make sure that everything I wanted to get said in the EXTREMELY LONG Prologue got said.