As long as it takes

by Quill Scribblings

In the midst of Raffin's moral dilemma, he and Bann make a promise by which they vow to overcome the obstacles in the way of their love. This has very little plot. It is just a thing. We need things for this fandom. WE NEED THINGS. Disclaimer: they're our boys, but they belong to Kristin Cashore.

Raffin could stand this no longer.

How long had he sat there, gazing at Bann over the top of a bubbling flask? He twiddled a quill in his fingers, the feather brushing against a sheet of dry parchment. He tore his eyes away from Bann carefully considering his report and scrawled a few lines of his own. Reading it back over, they made no sense; he rubbed a hand through his hair and sighed.

"Bann," he whispered. At first, the scratching of a quill on paper went on, but when it ceased there was another weary sigh.

"I know. I heard." Bann's stool scraped across the floor as he got to his feet.

"You did?"

"Afraid so; Bitterblue told me after hearing it from one of her spies." Raffin stood up and slowly made his way to him.

"I just can't believe... Imagine if we,"

"No," Bann cut him off. "We weren't. We won't. And even if Randa did find out, you know he makes allowances for you. And anyway, we aren't planning on visiting the Middluns anytime soon." They stood before each other now. Bann brushed the creases of Raffin's forehead with a gentle finger.

"But... it's not just the King. I want more than anything..." A tear fell from Raffin's eye.

"So do I, Raffin." His vision blurring, Raffin broke Bann's gaze and clung to his broad shoulders.

"It's not fair," he said, his damp cheek resting against Bann's collarbone. "Those two lords were just like us, Bann. They thought they were safe like we were. It's..." He sniffed violently. Feeling hot tears trail beneath his shirt, Bann squeezed him back in a silent urge to continue. "It's like Randa would be more accepting of us killing than loving each other." He look up at Bann then, his eyes red and his face sticky. "What kind of state is the world in when it's better I stabbed you than kissed you?" Bann kissed him, tugging gently at the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

"It will not be like this someday," he said quietly, firmly. "It'll change, and anyway, we are safe." Another kiss. "We are safe."

"Bann," Raffin croaked. "Will..." He fiddled with the laces of Bann's shirt. "When it's that time," He peeked through dewy eyelashes, cocking his head to one side. "Will you marry me?"

Bann's smile was like sunlight through leaves. He rested his forehead against Raffin's. "Whatever it takes."