Remembering Aeris
written by jess
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"Hello. My name is Aerith Gainsborough. What's yours?"
The first time they had met, something had sparked between them. Not the love-at-first-sight-spark, though. This spark was another kind of spark, something that triggered another emotion between the two.
Pain?
"Cloud. Cloud Strife."
He'd been the first to notice it; the way that something was not quite right with the world. Ever since he had met her, this uneasiness had settled over him, making it hard to think about anything else, because really, he should be thinking about that darkness within him. Sephiroth.
That pain resurfaced again.
"Why do you have a wing, Cloud?"
The others had never discussed the issue of his current state, because they all knew that he would release his fury on them some way or another. But she didn't pay heed to what the others said. She was bold, yet at the same time quiet and soft. So he didn't get angry when she came to him and asked him, softy and surely, why he was supporting something so dark.
The pain never seemed to disappear completely.
"It's the darkness in my heart, formed into something physical."
It was strange how she was the only one he would ever talk to. With the others, it was the occasional grunt or nod of the head to signify his answers, but with her, he used words. And his conversations with Sora didn't count because he was out saving the world at such a young age and needed advice.
After every conversation he had with her, though, the pain intensified.
"Sephiroth...Where have I heard that name before?"
It was an accident, really, the way he'd let slip the name of his enemy to her. It was strange, though, because she seemed to know the name from somewhere, and with a name as unique as the silver-haired demon, that meant something to both him and her. She'd stared out the window for a moment, lost in thought, and then, for the briefest of moments, the flicker of something passed through her eyes, but it was gone just as quickly as it had come.
Something new was added to his pain; recognition.
"Where did you come from?"
It was a simple question, he told himself, but that didn't make up for the frown that creased her fragile face. She didn't answer right away, but that was maybe because she couldn't. He knew that her origins weren't from Hollow Bastion, or Traverse Town, and she knew that as well, but she could not seem to remember exactly where she came from. And then, doubts of his own birthplace wormed into his mind. Where had he come from? Hollow Bastion, right? Or somewhere else?
"I...I don't really remember. My life before all this is...foggy."
She knew that this was more than just a coincidence. One could not just forget about the majority of their life just by being thrown into another world. But why couldn't she remember? And why did that name sound so familiar? And why did, whenever she saw Cloud, she envisioned him in a purple outfit, one without the wing? And, furthermore, why did she always see him with chocobo hair? Wait, a chocobo? What was that?
"Why do you carry those around?"
It was abnormally sunny that day, in the dreary expanse of Traverse Town, and Cloud just had to wonder as to why the girl would always carry around so many flowers with her wherever she went. Most of the time, they matched perfectly with her long pink dress and her long chocolate brown hair. Once again, the feeling that something was off settled into his brain yet again as he would stare at her beautiful hair and her radiant smile, while in her hand was a single blood red rose whose thorns were absent. The flower was stunning, just like her.
Who was this angelic girl that had come into his life?
"I like flowers. They make me happy. Do you want one, Cloud?"
She never really questioned why she carried the flowers around with her; it was just something that made her what she was. It was like she had to carry them around for some reason, like she had before, a long time ago...and they held some significance that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Either way, she was content with being the "flower girl." The title somehow seemed to fit her well. Apparently to both her and her friends, though Cloud didn't know what to make of it, and that uneasiness of hers settled into the pit of her stomach, slowly gnawing at her.
Why did he seem so much more important than the others?
"Look at what the darkness has done."
It wasn't just them two that were feeling the way they did. Slowly, a few of the others began sensing things as well. Yuffie, who was usually loud and obnoxious, would sometimes just stare out an open window, her eyes glazed over as if she were thinking very hard—something she rarely did. Cid, who only cared about the Gummi Ship most of the time, was often seen staring up at the sky, arms folded over his chest. Suddenly, the words "Gummi Ship" were foreign to him, and he began thinking of something called an "airship," whatever that was.
And then, there was that sort of emptiness inside of those four when they thought about their other friends. There was Leon, of course, but he never seemed to understand what was going on with them, and there was Merlin, and Sora, and everyone else that went along with the boy, but there seemed to be people—and creatures—missing from their group. A large machine gun attached to an arm was thought of, a long, flowing, tattered red cape, red fur with strange markings, a blue cat atop an odd animal, and a black and white outfit accompanying a kind smile that seemed so familiar.
"Oh, Cloud, it's hardly recognizable anymore."
Technically, though Cloud and Aerith were beginning to doubt it, their home world was Hollow Bastion, where Ansem the Wise took residence in. And, as they finally were able to return to their so called home, they found it in ruins. The castle was turned evil, the entire world turned evil, and there seemed to be no safe haven.
It was odd how Leon was the only one that seemed to remember what the castle looked like before it was tampered with, and was the only one who remembered his childhood there. And suddenly, it was almost as if he remembered that Cloud and Aerith were never a part of the world, as were Cid and Yuffie. They did not come from Hollow Bastion originally; they just somehow arrived there one day. So that left one question.
Where did they come from?
Cloud's heart told him he was getting closer and closer to his answer, and he had a feeling that it all led to one silver-haired menace.
"I can feel him. He's getting stronger."
He was supposed to be alone that night, stargazing up to the heavens of Hollow Bastion. The darkness is his heart was supposed to be his only company at the moment, and maybe he was content with that. Maybe then, being exposed to the darkness that was Sephiroth, he could find the reason why he had the connection he had with the flower girl. Maybe then, he could breathe easier, knowing that whatever it was, it brought no pain to the brown haired girl's eyes.
Because he didn't think he could bear it if she felt pain.
"Hm, I thought I'd find you out here. Brooding again?"
Her voice was soft, yet playful, and Cloud couldn't find it in him to tell her to leave him alone. Just her presence did something to him, something both glorious and terrible at the same time. He knew, deep down, that he couldn't take much more of this without completely losing it.
She handed him a flower she had taken from her hair, a sweet smile framing her angelic face.
"He will be alright. The light in his heart is astonishing."
He was trying to comfort her, though he knew he was terrible at things like these. He was only fourteen, she'd say sadly, he shouldn't have to take on the essence of evil by himself. But Cloud knew that the boy had to do it. To save his friends, to save them all. And Cloud trusted the blue-eyed boy, because sometimes, he could compare Sora to himself. The same determination. The same courageousness. The same want to keep everyone safe, no matter the cost.
And, even though he was horrible at it, he could see that his comforting words brought spark back into her eyes.
"Something's big coming, isn't it Cloud? I...I can feel it."
She wasn't nervous as she approached Cloud after she had bidden farewell to Sora as he stepped through to the heart of Hollow Bastion. He was in the library of the castle, contemplating like usual, and she just had to ask. The feeling wouldn't go away, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn't pinpoint the feeling, either.
The feeling only worsened when he nodded his head fractionally.
"I have to go. To see him. To end this."
He knew this would come sooner or later. It was only a matter of time before he would find the whereabouts of the silver-haired male. And now that he had, he had to leave. To face his longtime enemy. To put an ease to his heart. Lessen the load of Sora some, even. It was something he knew he had to do, and he felt numb to the whole thing. Because really, when he thought about it, there was one reason he was doing this that stuck out among the rest.
He had to see Sephiroth to get his answers.
"I know you'll come back to me, Cloud. Someday, I just know it."
Staring up at the star-filled sky, Aerith couldn't help but let a few tears trail down her face. She knew he had to do this, and she knew he'd be back, but at what cost? The feeling that had taken over her was more powerful than ever, and she knew it had to do with her connection to Cloud and Sephiroth in turn. Something had happened between them, that was sure, but everything was still too foggy. A glimpse of a pink ribbon here, a glance at a long, silver object there, and green, almost poisonous, eyes.
The word "death" kept coming to mind when she saw these things, but she had no idea why.
Waiting.
It was something that Aerith had become very accustomed to.
Oh, but she wasn't complaining. No, never. Because she knew that her waiting would come to an end one day.
It was their promise to each other.
"Man, Cloud's been gone for along time, hasn't he?"
Even the others, who normally didn't mind if the blond took off somewhere, were starting to wonder where the blue-eyed man was, especially Yuffie, who took to complaining whenever she could about how long he had been gone. Ever since Sora had defeated Ansem, brought peace back into the worlds, and went in search of the King and Riku, everyone worried less about the Heartless and more about the welfare of those who survived this whole ordeal.
Cloud Strife included.
"Strife is strong. He'll survive."
Leon and Cloud were very similar when talking of battle. They were both strong, both fierce, both determined to defend what was theirs. Leon knew that the other man wouldn't go down without a fight. A big, dramatic, over-exaggerated fight at that. With lots of witty banter, flashy sword techniques and a good measure of silly insults.
Even though Sephiroth was strong, Cloud was stronger. And, besides that, light always won over the darkness. It just did, like a proven fact. Even though Leon would refuse to admit it, he silently agreed with that statement with his entire being.
"Ooh, do you love him, Aerith?"
Aerith was the kind of girl that did not get embarrassed easily. She brushed most things off, laughing with the others, even though her cheeks tinged pink. So, little things like that simple little L word didn't bother her...all that much. But, it wasn't like she could remain silent around the small ninja; when the raven-haired girl wanted something, she usually got it.
So it was of no surprise when the flower girl smiled that angelic smile of hers and nodded her head so slightly that Yuffie had to wait five whole seconds before she understood.
"Hey guys, Spiky's back!"
The Gummi engineer was easily the oldest of the group, and he himself would say the wisest. Lately, he'd been noticing something different happening between their little group. Ever since Cloud, or Spiky, had left for battle, there seemed to be something lurking around them all; something that seemed so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time.
When he looked at Aerith now, her pink ribbon struck something deep within him. It brought him pain to look at her.
"Still in one piece, I see."
She smiled because she didn't know what else to do. After being gone so long, seeing him again now, something went off inside of her. His eyes...so blue, so...electrifying. Had they always been that way? Or had she just realized it now? The pieces, ever so slowly, were falling into place, yet the final memory was fuzzy, out of reach, vague.
And suddenly, she didn't want to know what memory was missing.
"He's still alive. I have to keep looking."
Time moved very fast all of a sudden. One moment, Aerith was smiling up at Cloud who had just returned from his "mission," and the next, Sora and company had come back to Hollow Bastion, ready to fight off the newest threat; the Nobodies and Organization XIII. Cloud was gone more and more, searching the worlds endlessly, trying to capture to one that caused his heart so much pain. And all the while Aerith was swept up into all of this, hardly realizing what was going on.
That was when Tifa Lockhart came into the picture.
"I'm looking for someone with spiky hair."
She was looking for him. She knew him. But they didn't know her. Or did they? Yuffie stared at her funnily, something flashing through her eyes. Cid blinked two times, adding things up in his head silently. And Aerith, well Aerith saw this only as another piece; another puzzle piece that better outlined the ultimate memory, the memory that concerned her.
And was that silent recognition that flashed across the martial artist's face?
"...Tifa. I...what's going on?"
She just couldn't help herself. The flower girl had to ask. The black-haired girl knew something that she wasn't letting on, and Aerith wanted to know, badly. Emotions kept welling up inside of her every time his name was brought up, and she had to set things straight. This was all getting too much for her nerves.
Cloud hardly ever came home anymore.
"I don't know what's going on. You're not supposed to be..."
The dark-haired woman never got to finish her thoughts around the flower girl. They were always interrupted, always with something to do; they never got a minute to themselves. The Heartless and the Nobodies were reaching dangerously high numbers, and even with the security system Cid installed in the town, the battles were taking a toll on everyone. Cloud kept coming back and forth between worlds sporadically, and had even enlisted Sora's help in finding the silver-haired menace.
Aerith was beginning to wonder if the reason he was doing this was to finally clear the last memory they both needed to remember.
"I don't want you involved."
He'd been saying that a lot lately. Every time he came back, as a matter of fact. She shouldn't be worrying about him, he'd say. He could take care of himself, he'd state. The darkness would no longer be able to reach him once he defeated Sephiroth. And Tifa wasn't helping matters. Oddly, Cloud would avoid her at all costs, not even wanting to stay in the same room with her.
Another puzzle piece was placed in her mind. It was nearing its completion, the flower girl knew.
"It's about Cloud, Aerith. He's...gone."
If she hadn't been sitting down already, Aerith was sure she would have collapsed. And, for the briefest of moments, she was sure that her heart had stopped. Completely stopped. What the martial artist had told her shocked her no end. Cloud was...gone. Disappeared, along with Sephiroth. And Tifa was witness to it all. So was Sora. And Donald. And Goofy. Not her. Not Aerith. Tifa said that it would've happened sooner or later; the battles between them had to end sometime, and with the combined light of both Tifa and Aerith, he would make it through.
But that didn't stop the pain that was slowly ripping her heart to shreds.
"...Sora and the others. They did it."
Maybe she wasn't as joyful as she should have been, because really, she should be ecstatic. Sora had defeated Xemnas, brought peace back to the worlds, and turned Hollow Bastion back to its original form; Radiant Gardens. The Heartless and the Nobodies were no more, and everyone was safe. Everyone around her smiled easily now, save for Leon (who had gracefully given everyone permission to refer to him as "Squall" again) who never smiled. No, it was more like a grin on his behalf. Maybe she was smiling on the outside, but inside, her heart was broken beyond repair.
And you know something's wrong when an angel is in pain.
"He'll come back, you know."
Everyone said it. They were all optimistic, offering positive words whenever the situation needed them. And recently, they were needed a lot. Aerith didn't talk as much as she used to, and took to sitting over the edge of the cliff just outside the Crystal Fissure. It was the last place where he had been seen. And she hadn't even gotten to see him leave from this spot. But being here made her feel slightly better, like she was with him, even though she wasn't with him. And the others didn't question it.
Because it's hard to question love.
"Oh, what are these letters?"
Yuffie simply did not get the meaning of the word "privacy." So, it came as to no one's shock as she came busting into Merlin's house one day, five identical letters held in her hands and a large grin on her face. Stealing the other's mail again. But it was okay; at least Aerith thought it was. Because when she opened it, sitting on that same cliff, a single pink butterfly flew out, and Aerith knew who it was from.
He was coming back.
"...He's gone."
Cloud Strife was never one for words, so when he did speak, it was usually to say something very important. He didn't say hello as he came through the door, he didn't ask everyone how they were or they were worried, and he didn't tell anyone where he had been. No, Cloud talked of only the most important things.
The defeat of a certain silver-haired male fell into that category.
"She's out where you battled him."
Maybe, looking back, he should have found her first. Shared a private moment with her and with no one else. But, as soon as she turned from her position on the cliff and toward him, his thoughts flew out the window. It didn't matter that he hadn't met with her first. What mattered was that he was here now, with her. Sephiroth was gone for good, and he would never leave her side.
The memory was almost clear.
"You came."
He walked over to her, his large sword forgotten on the ground. So close, they were so close to completing this memory, this memory of them, this memory of what had happened before the Heartless and the Nobodies and Kingdom Hearts and Keyblades. Her voice seemed to trigger something, maybe some sense of dejá vu, and it made him continue forward until he was within touching distance of the flower girl.
"I'm back."
And when they hugged, they remembered. They remembered everything.
"Say, do you have any materia?"
"Yes, some."
"Nowadays you can find materia anywhere."
"But mine is special. It's good for absolutely nothing."
"I'm Aeris, the flower girl. Nice to meet you."
"Say, Cloud. Have you ever been a bodyguard?"
"You DO do everything, right?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"Then, get me out of here. Take me home."
"...Your eyes. They have a strange glow..."
"Would you please leave here, tonight? Without telling Aeris."
"But, I just can't let you go in alone... Oh, man..."
"First, we'll need to find out if Tifa's alright..."
"What's so funny, Aeris?"
"Cloud, why don't you dress up like a girl? It's the only way."
"You want to go on a date?"
"What?"
"A DA-TE! Or haven't you ever gone on one?"
"A kiss! The power of True Love!"
"Cloud..."
"I'm searching for you..."
"I want to meet you."
"Looks good. You are perfect for each other!"
"Aeris's star and Cloud's star! They show a great future!"
"And let me handle Sephiroth."
"And Cloud, you take care of yourself."
"So you don't have a breakdown, okay?"
"It's only a matter of time before Sephiroth uses Meteor."
"That's why I'm going to protect it. Only a survivor of the Cetra, like me, can do it."
"Aeris's voice... Coming from there?"
"Cloud!"
"...Aeris."
"This can't be real!"
"Do not worry. Soon the girl will become part of the Planet's energy."
"All that is left is to go North. The 'Promised Land' waits for me over the snowy fields."
"There I will become a new being by uniting with the planet. As will this girl...
"Aeris is gone."
"Aeris will no longer talk, no longer laugh, cry... or get angry..."
"What about us... what are WE supposed to do?"
"What about my pain?"
"My fingers are tingling.
My mouth is dry.
My eyes are burning!"
The flower girl?
...Lifestream.
It's coming.
Her eyes are closed. Green embers are floating around her. She opens her eyes and looks directly at him, a sweet, kind smile on her lips.
And there is a beautiful smile, bathed in pink, looking down on the Planet below.
"You came. Even though you're about to break. That's a good sign."
"So, why did you come?"
"I think I want to be forgiven. More than anything."
"...By who?"
"...But, I let you die."
"Dilly dally, shilly, shally. Isn't it time you did the forgiving?"
"Ready?"
"Let's go, Cloud."
They broke apart instantly, minds spinning and their breaths coming in pants.
"Aeris," Cloud whispered quietly, staring with wide eyes at the girl in front of him. "Aeris Gainsborough."
The flower girl had tears in her eyes. What she had just seen, what she had just felt, what she had just experienced...
She had died.
But she was alive.
"Cloud," Aerith sobbed, leaning into Cloud's strong embrace for support. It didn't add up, it didn't make sense. How was she still breathing?
"Aerith," Cloud murmured, "You know what this means, right?" Aerith tensed in his arms as she heard this. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hear what he had to say.
"You are a miracle, Aerith."
"...Cloud?" But he shook his head.
"You've gone beyond death itself. You're perfect." He looked at her with those intense (mako induced) eyes, and Aerith's heart fluttered in her chest.
Cloud smiled for the second time in his life as he looked down at the love of his life. The pain was gone. The anxiety was gone. To be replaced with a love that was only seen in fairy tales.
And Aerith knew that everything was going to be okay.
"You see? Everything's...all right."
"I know. I'm not alone..."
Not anymore.