"Bree I can't handle any of your nagging shit right now, alright? I have a lot on my plate right now," Beca meets my sharp glare. "My nagging shit? Beca I wouldn't have to 'nag you' as you so eloquently put if you'd simply act like a fucking adult. I'm tired of being the only responsible one in this relationship." Beca simply stares at me. "Fine, Beca. Christ, you make everything so difficult. If you want to continue to be an immature fuck-up just tell me so I can get out of this relationship sooner rather than later." I start marching towards my now mute girlfriend when she starts moving as well. She retreats from the kitchen, back facing me, as she heads to our room.

I'd be so lost if you left me alone

"Beca come back here. You can't just leave in the middle of a fight, it's time to be a grown up." I scold my girlfriend before I notice the tears streaming down her face and the empty expression on her previously angry face. "Babe?" I'm worried now when she remains unresponsive. I watch as she grabs a bag before turning towards me. We make eye contact before she shoulders past me and rushes to the bathroom. She slams the door and I immediately go to it, trying the knob.

You locked yourself in the bathroom

I press against the door. All I can hear is the running shower and my girlfriend's broken sobs. "I am supposed to protect her, I'm supposed to make her happy. How could I have done this?" I think to myself as I slide down the wall across from the door. I put in my earphones and listen to the latest mix Beca made for me. "Wait!" I realize. "Beca always sings in the shower. Maybe I can find out what happened." I scoot towards the door and listen for her melodic alto waves but am alarmed to hear retching and then a solid thud. "Beca? Beca! Answer me, babe." No response. "I have to get in there…" I realize and frantically throw my hip and shoulder against the flimsy door. It bounces a lot, bending, before I hear the first promising crack of wood.

Lying on the floor when I break through

I rush over to Beca's still body, pulling her to my chest. I wipe foam and vomit away from her mouth. "I need to grab my keys. Keys. Okay, okay, where are my goddamn keys? Deep breaths, Bree. They'll save her. Just find your keys and get her to the hospital." My internal monologue helps me feel the slightest bit better. I grab my keys off the counter and carry Beca downstairs and outside our apartment building. I buckle her in and hurry to the driver's side and peel out of the parking lot.

Long empty highway, you're silent beside me

Driving a nightmare I can't escape from

As I drive I constantly check on Beca. At red-lights I feel for a heartbeat, a rhythm that grows fainter each time I'm forced to stop. I wipe tears away as fast as they come, praying to not miss the exit that will offer salvation. After an eternity, I see the hospital up ahead. I carry Beca into the ER bridal, style. She is so pale and freezing to the touch. Nurses hurry towards me, strapping Beca onto a stretcher and handing me forms. I can only stare, helplessly at her unconscious state, thinking that I feel as cold as she does in my heart.

Helplessly praying, the light isn't fading

Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones

A stranger comforts me, an older woman. She asks me Beca's information for the doctor's paperwork. I answer back robotically, staring as they do CPR on my girlfriend. I leap out of the seat but two nurses walk towards me, to keep me away from those trying to save my stupid, beautiful, amazing girlfriend.

They took you away on a table

I pace back and forth as you lay still

They pull you in to feel your heartbeat

Can you hear me screaming -

"Please don't leave me!" I scream as they pull Beca away from me. The other woman gently pushed me back into my chair. I notice that I am crying now, and that I probably have been since discovering Beca. No. This isn't what I wanted. This wasn't meant to happen. I love her and now she's gone. This can't be real. Through the doors I hear someone yell "one-two-three clear!" and the sound of the electricity they're pumping into my girlfriend's lifeless body. They move further into the ER but the last thing I hear is an excited "We have a heartbeat!"

I'm so relieved that I am immediately overcome with a wave of exhaustion. I fight to stay awake, wanting to be alert for any news on Beca. The woman beside me is invaluable, promising to wake me when there's news. As I close my eyes, she covers me with her soft coat and I slip off into oblivion. In my dreams I replay our argument over and over, wishing I could say anything different, anything to change the outcome of our night. Praying that the last thing she hears me say isn't me threatening to break up with her.

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you

I wake from my fitful rest, startling the doctor who looks as if he were about to tap me on the shoulder. "She pulled through. We won't be able to assess all the damage until she wakes up but you can visit her if you would like." Gratefully, I follow his directions to her room and let out a gasp at her appearance. She looks grey against the pristine white sheets and her hair is dull and limp, in disarray. I pull a chair up next to her bed and latch on to her hand. She is cold but damp with sweat, which I wipe away the best I can with my hand.

Let me take your hand, I'll make it right

I swear to love you all my life

Hold on, I still need you

I make myself more comfortable against Beca's comatose form, resting my head against her side, our hands tangled together. My eyes close briefly before I am leaping up at the blaring sound of an alarm. Doctors and nurses rush into the small room, checking machines and Beca's vitals. One finally turns off whatever is making that piercing beep and suddenly they're forcing me away from Beca and out into the hall. I fight them as much as I can before slumping, defeated, outside her door. This is disturbingly familiar. I can't imagine how I'll be able to live without her.

I don't wanna let go

I know I'm not that strong

Beca is awake. The doctors have cautiously let me back into her room and she won't look at me. She stares down at the sheet beneath her worrying hands. I, too, watch as they fidget– moving as if over a piano's keys before picking at the threads like a child would a scab. A doctor gave me release forms to sign for Beca so I decide to break the ice. "You ready to go ho-home, babe?" I clear my throat nervously as I wait for her reaction.

I just wanna hear you

Saying baby, lets go home

Let's go home

I just wanna take you home

My question causes Beca to look at me through red-rimmed eyes. "Are you sure Aubrey? All I do is cause is-issues for you, right? I don't want you to hate me anymore." Hearing Beca say this breaks my heart but I'm so thankful she is even here to talk to me. "Babe, Beca, I love you. I spoke from anger earlier and I have never regretted anything so much in my entire life, I need you. Let's go home." I tentatively lace our fingers together before bringing her hand to my mouth where I place a lingering kiss against the back of it. Beca smiles through her tears and I openly laugh, so relieved that Beca is awake and alive.

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you