Because nobody likes a vague disclaimer: Characters belong to the fantastical Joss Whedon.

I'm back! after years. haha. Anyways, 'new' old work. This is a story i've had forever, it's mostly written though it's still lacking an ending, so needless to say updates won't be too painful at first. And hopefully, they won't be at the end either. The series title comes from a Sylvia Plath poem and chapter titles will feature lines from different poems and poets.

Summary: Set 5 years after Chosen, Buffy is on her own as she's lost everyone she loves, and is taking on the next Apocalypse. If you know my writing, you know I don't deal in action, so this series will focus on the days/months after. B/A ultimately. Chapters/drabbles will alternate between Angel and Buffy POV.

Warning: This is a mostly angst story. Lots of drama too. Don't read if you're expecting any smut, Scoobies or A Team. Potential for editing after posting.

Rated M for Mature Themes.

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 1: Thy Firmness Makes My Circle Just & Makes Me End Where I Begun

from A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning by John Donne.

†

I hear the phone ring within the depth of the apartment behind me, but I don't pay attention to it.

It's never for me.

Instead, I focus on the images in front of me. The view of the Roman nightscape from my mid-rise Italian flat, has inspired me enough to set brush to canvas, and see what grows from that.

Nina and I have been here nearly three years, and while Nina's thrived and I haven't exactly (soul is still intact), I've at least managed to find a semblance of peace.

"Angel," Comes her voice as she steps past the light linen curtains covering the open balcony doors.

She doesn't usually interrupt me when I 'create', so I turn to her quickly in surprise. Her face is tinted with irritation that fades slightly when I catch her eye, and it becomes apparent to me that it's directed to whomever is on the other end of the line.

"It's for you." She finishes, extending the cordless to me.

I put the paintbrush and pallet down on the small wooden table to my right, and head towards her taking the phone from her grasp when I reach her. Immediately, she turns away and disappears back inside.

I don't need to hear the voice to know who it is. Aside from the fact that only one person knows this number from my end, Nina's face says it all.

"Faith." I say into the phone.

"You better get your ass back over here, Angel." She replies seriously. And serious is not a tone I like hearing from Faith.

"What is it?" I enquire as I rush inside, heading straight to the small safe hidden behind the frame in our room. It's there for emergencies such as this one is bound to be.

"Never mind what, just get here. It's happening too fast, and people are dropping like flies." She answers, her grave tone still present.

My hand freezes as I ask, "Buffy?"

"She's alive." Faith responds.

However, before I get a chance to feel relief course through me, she continues.

"But I only mean that in the physical sense. They're all dead, and it looks like she wants to join them."

It takes a second for my hand to resume its course, because I know exactly who the 'they' are.

"I'm coming." I say just as I get the safe open.

I'm about to hang up until my vampire hearing catches Faith's voice.

"Angel, wait!"

I return the receiver to my ear, "What?" I ask impatiently.

Surprisingly, she takes a few seconds to answer.

"We're in L.A."

I don't respond, though I'm sure she'd expected as much.

"Call me when you can." She says after a few moments, her tone soft.

"I will." It's a lot short of a goodbye, but I hang up without another word.

"What's happening?" Nina asks, appearing out of the blue.

Leaving the phone on the bedside table I grab my fake ID, and enough money to last, before I lock the safe once again.

"I have to go back." I answer as I walk towards her.

"Now," I add.

"I'm coming with you." She says after I've passed her.

"I'm leaving now."

I hear her rummage around the room as I pull out a few other necessities.

We're out of the apartment less than five minutes later, Nina trailing behind me. I might have argued with her about her coming if there was any time for that. She's just as stubborn as I am, and even less relenting. As it is, I'm already late.

Nina's voice is locked tight up until we arrive at the airport, and remains that way after we're finally boarded (we have to go private so I can avoid the sun).

It's obvious i'm lost in my thoughts, though it's also obvious she's lost in her own. I've come to realize Nina has a hard time letting things go, and I haven't always been straight with her in the past, so when I finally came clean about Buffy, I hadn't really shirked on the details.

In retrospect, it might've been a better idea to avoid certain specifics. When I came to

Buffy's 17th birthday and the losing of my soul, she hadn't taken it well. She had reason of course, and I tried to explain that it wasn't just about Buffy but the accumulation of all that had happened in that time, of not only her acceptance but the others as well. She hadn't disputed me, but it was clear she hadn't really bought it either.

Ever since I met her, I could feel this great warmth about her, like a bright fire on a bitter winter's night. Right now though, like when Faith had called earlier, there is none of that heat i'm so accustomed to. The notion that I lost my soul with Buffy and don't with her, must have stuck in her subconscious because whenever anything even closely regarding Buffy comes up, she's all cold shoulder, and I know what that means on her.

It's true our relationship is nothing like what I had with Buffy, but that's not a bad thing. With Buffy, we fell hard and fast, it was all passion but chaos as well, living like it was our last day, because a lot of the time, it could have been.

With her it's different. She has her own darkness that matches my own, that steadies my own. Our love is like a river that eddies and flows, balanced and steady. She's always been this great source of support in my existence, but she needs me as much as I need her. With her I feel like more than a vampire, and when she takes me in her arms, I feel almost human.

I look over at Nina, her head is cupped in her left hand as she glances out the small window before her. I reach out to her right hand resting on the armrest and cover her hand in my own. The contact forces her head towards me, and despite the seriousness of her posture, she smiles warmly at me.

The tension fades as she shifts towards me, her palm meeting mine as our fingers intertwine, and she leans her head on my shoulder. Even without words, she's always understood me.

A/N: So the chapters won't always be this short, but sometimes they will be, hence the drabble addendum. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome and appreciated. New chapter up soon, Buffy POV.

Thanks again!