Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or Aida. Aida belongs to Elton John and Time Rice.
Title: A step too far.
Summary: Songfic- Lindsay, Dean, and Rory's thoughts after the opening of the Inn.
Author's Note: "A Step Too Far" is from the musical Aida (that I love with passion). Just a little background on this song. Aida is in love with Radames, who is betrothed to Amneris, the Egyptian princess. Amneris is confused because Radames isn't really affectionate with her. Aida is torn between Radames and her people (who he captured from Nubia). Radames wants to be with Aida, but he's getting married to Amneris and he doesn't know what to do.
A/N #2: I picked this song because it relates a lot to the Rory/Dean/Lindsay thing except Rory and Lindsay aren't princesses and Dean is already married to Lindsay.
A/N #3: Just to set the record straight, I LOVE Aida. No, I mean, LOVE it. I love it more than Gilmore Girls (sorry).
A/N #4: The verse for Lindsay's POV is Amneris's, the verse for Dean's is Rademes's, and the verse for Rory's is Aida's.
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(Lindsay)
I sat down at the table waiting for Dean to come down. I had made him breakfast. I hadn't really spoken to him in days and I thought that today would be a good day to catch up with him. It seemed like forever until he finally came in.
"Morning, honey," I said. "You slept late."
"I know," Dean said, pouring some coffee in a thermos. "Sorry."
"You dreaming about me?" I asked, jokingly.
Dean paused before nodding. He was usually more talkative, but he wasn't really talking this time. He wasn't even looking at me.
"I made you breakfast," I said.
"Thanks," Dean said.
He walked over to the table with a plastic back and put some eggs and bacon in it. He was going out. I wanted to scream and cry and tell him not to go. I wanted to tell him how I barely saw him and how bored I was, but I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to push him away like I did last time. Instead, I spun him around and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Do you have to go out right away?" I asked, sweetly. "Because if you don't, I was thinking we could have a little breakfast and maybe catch up."
I leaned in to kiss Dean, but he looked away.
"I'm sorry, sweetie," he said. "But, I have to go to work. Tom still needs help with the Inn."
I put on a smile to hide my disappointment. "Okay," I said. "I'll see you at dinner?"
"Okay," Dean said, giving me a peck on the lips and then dashing out the door.
Unbelievable, I thought to myself, sitting down at the kitchen table. Usually when I put the moves on him, he couldn't resist. It was obvious that I wasn't on his mind. Maybe a certain someone else was.
It's so strange he doesn't show me
More affection than he needs
Almost formal, too respectful
Never takes romantic leads
There are times when I imagine
I'm not always on his mind
He's not thinking what I'm thinking
Always half a step behind
Always half a step behind
(Dean)
I felt horrible lying to Lindsay. I didn't have to work today. I just had to get out of the house. I felt so guilty for what I did with Rory. If I didn't get out of there, I was going to go insane.
Not knowing where else to go, I went over to the Dragonfly. I walked inside and sat down on one of the couches. No one was awake yet so it was quiet. As I drank out of my thermos I let my thoughts wander to Rory.
She was so beautiful and kind to me last night. It was so hard to control myself. But, when it comes to Rory, she has this powerful affect on me. Just one word and she can make my breathing stop. One blink of an eye and she can make my pulse race.
If only I could be with her. If only she was the one I was coming home to. Just then, a throat cleared interrupting my thoughts. I looked up and Lorelai was standing in the doorway.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
She didn't sound happy to see me, but she didn't sound like she hated me. Her voice betrayed no emotion.
"I don't know," I admitted.
"You came for a quickie with my daughter?" Lorelai asked.
"No!" I exclaimed. "God, no!"
Lorelai nodded and then sighed and sat down next to me. We sat for a while in silence. I half expected her to pull a gun on me. Then she made a "humph" sound and shook her head.
"What?" I asked.
"I was just wondering what the hell you were thinking last night," Lorelai said.
I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't know what I was thinking. Yes, I did. I was thinking, I love Rory.
"I love her, Lorelai," I blurted out in a voice I didn't recognize.
It wasn't the comforting voice I used when I told her that I wouldn't be the reason that Rory wouldn't go to Hartford. It wasn't the voice I used when I asked Lindsay to marry me. It was full of clarity and determination. I never used that voice before.
"What about Lindsay?" Lorelai asked. "Do you love her?"
I did love Lindsay. I did, but not in the same way.
"Not in the same way," I admitted.
"But, you're married, Dean," Lorelai said. "I'm going to sound like a damn Dickens novel, but unless you move out of the house with the ring off you're forever obligated to Lindsay. You have to choose between reconciling with Rory and your duty as a husband."
I didn't know what to say. She was right. What do you say to someone who's right?
"Well, what's it going to be?" Lorelai asked.
"I don't know," I said.
"You think about it," she said, leaving the room.
I looked down at the doggy bag and threw it out and then left the inn. I wasn't hungry anymore. I lost my appetite. I didn't know what to do. But, I knew I had to make a decision soon and I was dreading it.
I'm in every kind of troubleCan't you tell? Just look at me
Half ecstatic half dejected
All in all I'm all at sea
Easy terms I thought I wanted
Fill me now with chilling dread
You could never know the chaos
Of a life turned on its head
Of a life turned on its head
(Rory)
I woke up at the Dragonfly that morning all at once remembering last night's events. I made a huge mistake, I thought. I went way too far. I went downstairs, hoping I could just grab some breakfast to go, but my mother was in the kitchen. I wasn't ready to face her. Not yet.
I quickly ran out of the inn and ran home. I knew Dean loved me and that he would give up everything for me. But, I missed my chance. I picked someone else and he married someone else. I could be with him, but not now. Besides, love died easy anyway.
I walked into my room and looked on the unmade bed. I stripped off the sheets and put them in the washing machine. I opened the closet to change my clothes when the Dean box fell to the floor with its contents spilling everywhere.
I put every item in the box when I came to a picture of him and me. We looked so perfect together and incredibly happy. When I was with Dean, I was happy. He treated me the way I wanted to be treated. He treated me like a gentleman.
I never knew how much I missed him until the day of his wedding. I remembered his wedding day and how it killed to see him with someone else. It was the happiest moment last night when he kissed me. It suddenly seemed clear to me. I was in love with Dean then and I loved him now.
But, I was still guilty. I walked into Luke's to get some coffee. Luke wouldn't really talk to me. Besides, I wasn't ready to tell anyone anyway. But, my heart sank when Lane was there. She was covering for Luke. I loved Lane. Lane was like a sister to me, but I just wasn't ready.
"Hey, Rory," Lane said. "Coffee?"
"Thanks," I said.
"What's wrong?" Lane asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You're frowning more than Billy Idol," Lane said.
Everyone could always see right through me and I hated it. I didn't want to show any emotion. I didn't want anyone to know what I did.
"Nothing's wrong," I lied. "I'm fine."
"You haven't had that face on since your dad left," Lane said.
"Which time?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"The last time," Lane said.
I sighed. My father was the last thing on my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about Dean. I wanted him, but then I'd be hurting another person and I didn't want to be the kind of girl who did that. But, I loved Dean and I would've done anything for him.
"Are you sure your okay?" Lane asked.
"I'm sure," I said, paying for my coffee. "Thanks, Lane. Keep the change."
I bolted out of the door and sat on the bridge outside Stars Hollow High. At least there I could be alone. I stared at my reflection in the water. I couldn't keep running away like this. Sooner or later the town would find out and there wouldn't be a safe place for me to hide. But, once the people of Stars Hollow found out, how would they look at me?
I am certain I love himBut a love can be misplaced
Have I compromised my people?
In my passion and my haste?
I could be his life companion
Anywhere but where we are
Am I leader? Am I traitor?
Did I take a step too far?
Did I take a step too far?
A/N: Just so you guys know the words are "am I leader am I traitor." I didn't make a mistake. If you want I can make a story out of it using other songs from Aida. Just let me know if you want more. Flame if you must, but if you are flaming this story, then you are flaming this song. If you are flaming this song, you are flaming Aida and Aida is the best musical ever. I'm sorry, I just love Aida. You can flame. It's flame-worthy. Just to let you know, I'm not trying to make Lindsay look like a bitch. Amneris wasn't a bitch, so I'm not making Lindsay a bitch.