A.N.: Posted this one on Tumblr in April 2012, wanted to move it here so I could find it. Stick this one wherever it makes sense in Season 3. And I know it wasn't NYC, but...meh, don't care enough to fix it lol.

Apologies for the angst, but writing another piece brought this to mind, hence the repost. Love you guys, go read TGTP if you need happy, 'cause you won't find it here...

"Just a second!" Puck battered the controller, hitting the troll with a combo and earning a perfect XP bonus. Video games never let him down. They never wanted to be his girlfriend and they would never get in a stupid car accident or marry some idiot — He shook himself, saving his game and tossing the controller aside. "Yeah, Ma, what's up?"

Muriel Puckerman stood up from the dining room table, revealing another occupant. "I was on my way back from the store and found Rachel at the door! Did you ignore the doorbell again, Noah?"

He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. Who came by for him anyway, anymore? After Hudson told the Glee Club his plans to elope to New York tomorrow, nobody even gave a damn about Noah Puckerman's existence. "Maybe. Sorry. Wanna give us some room, Ma?" Well, not nobody, apparently.

She frowned. "I need to get dinner started, want to go up to your room and talk?"

Puck's jaw dropped. "I — yeah, sure." Because his mother always encouraged him to take girls to his room. Figured.

Rachel's serious expression broke to allow a small giggle.

Puck shook his head. It didn't help that his mother told everyone at Temple, including Rachel's dads, how much she wished they'd worked out. "Come on up, Rachel, what's going on?"

Rachel turned to his mother first. "Thank you for rescuing me, Mrs. Puckerman — I nearly turned around and left." Turning to Puck, she held up a plaid flannel shirt. "I found this when I was — when I was packing."

"Packing?" Muriel's head whipped back to Rachel. "Where are you going, dear?"

Rachel frowned at Puck over his mother's shoulder.

Yeah, of course she'd expect him to share the happy news with his mother. He shook his head.

Rachel smiled tightly. "I'm in the finals for NYADA, I'm flying to New York for the audition tomorrow."

And that wasn't what he expected to hear her say. "So bring it to my room, I'll hang it up and we can talk or whatever."

Rachel nodded her head with that same forced grin. "Thank you." Clutching the shirt tightly, she stood from the table.

"Noah, help me in the kitchen a minute?" Muriel smiled at their guest. "Rachel, run up, it's the same room since his bar mitzvah! You two were so sweet back then…"

"Ma!" Puck winced. All of temple, and Rachel. "Rachel, I'm sorry, you know my mother."

She laughed, looking startled at the sound. "I do. Though apparently I shouldn't say those words too loudly here."

Muriel beamed, smacking her son in the arm. "See? Rachel has a sense of humor, among other admirable qualities."

Puck rolled his eyes and nodded Rachel towards the stairs. Like he needed his mother to point that out? He waited for their guest to leave earshot. "Yeah, Ma?"

Muriel frowned slightly. "When I got here, before she realized, she looked so — Noah, she looked so sad. What's going on? Please tell me that ring isn't —"

Puck shook his head. Rachel, sad, and on his doorstep? Made no sense, especially since she was leaving with… "It is, Ma." Not that he needed reminding. "I'm gonna go talk to her."

Muriel kissed his cheek. "Don't screw it up."

What 'it' was there to screw up anyway? He shook his head and climbed the stairs.

Rachel turned as he opened the door, his shirt still in a death grip.

He raised a brow and held out a hand. Something was definitely off, but damned if he knew what it was. "Can I get that before you strangle it? Geez, Rachel."

She flushed slightly as she realized. "Oh, Noah! I'm sorry." She handed it to him with a small smile. "I didn't mean to take my anxieties out on your flannel."

"What do you have to be worried about?" Everything was lining up just like she wanted, and in a week, Rachel Berry would be Rachel H— Puck tossed the shirt with the other clean clothes and motioned her over to the bed. "I won't try anything funny."

Rachel let out a low chuckle. "Funny would be the last word that comes to mind when thinking of…that."

Okay, now he was really confused. "Well, no, but…whatever. What's going on?"

"I — I wanted to just —" She wrung her hands. "I don't know, Noah, I don't know…"

Since when? He quirked a brow. "You're still losing me here. I don't know either or I wouldn't have asked."

"I just…" She stared down at her hands. "I started to pack and I just — my hands started shaking, I felt like I couldn't breathe and I saw your shirt, so I — I came here."

"You came here," he echoed. Because why not go to your ex's house instead of your fiancee's? "What are you, like, nervous about NYADA?"

Rachel took a deep breath. "I think that's it? I hope? Kurt and I…we're all just rushing and it's crazy, and Finn is…Quinn is still recovering and it just…it feels…" She exhaled and shook her head, meeting his eyes. "It's wrong, Noah, everything is just all wrong…"

Well, no kidding, but it was the last thing he expected to hear from her. Puck ran his hands over his head. "Q is…she's gonna be okay, you know that. I know she told you that. And I know it screwed up the — the wedding —"

"I'm glad it did," Rachel whispered.

Puck's eyes widened at the admission, his gaze flying to hers. Say what now?

Rachel buried her face in her hands. "I'm a horrible person," she moaned.

"Wait, back up." He frowned. Glad? Not to be Mrs. Finn Hudson? "Did you just say you're glad Q had the accident because…"

"Because this is a mistake," she whispered. She lowered her hands, looking at him with panic in her eyes. "Oh, Noah, what do I do, it's such a mistake!" She twisted the ring on her finger. "It was all so romantic and I thought it's what I wanted but…I don't know anymore, I thought Quinn's accident was even more reason to go through with it but it felt so wrong..." She took a deep breath before rushing on. "And then I told Finn I couldn't do it and I know he was hurt but it just felt wrong and selfish and then when I stopped to think about what we were doing it made me think that life is also too short to rush into something because you're scared and I think — don't tell Finn, please — but I think he and I were both scared that we'd have nothing and we said yes but I —" She bit her lip before continuing. "I don't think I'm ready. I want the real thing, with a chupah and a rabbi and everything. And I don't know what to do…"

"And you came to me?" Puck shook his head. Rachel coming to him for help was like a sign of the apocalypse. "Damn, you really are a mess."

She punched him lightly in the arm. "Who else can I talk to? I can't burden Quinn, I'm afraid of what Kurt would say, Mercedes is all 'girl power, men are trouble anyway', Tina thinks it's romantic…most importantly, I consider you a friend, whether you consider me the same or not."

"I do," he muttered. "You are." And wasn't that the bitch of it all.

Rachel smiled shyly. "Really?"

He rolled his eyes. The Puckerone was not in the habit of doing good deeds, but something about Rachel freaking Berry…"Yeah, really. Don't go singing about it, but yeah."

She leaned up to kiss his cheek. "I won't." She sank back down, closing her eyes. "So what do I do? How do I say this without Finn…"

"Flipping out and breaking up with you?" He raised an eyebrow. For a smart chick, Rachel picked a real winner. "Cause he might."

Rachel winced. "I know. But I don't — I don't want that. I just…I want it all." She chuckled. "I suppose that's a familiar tune to you, coming from me."

Puck smirked. "I think I know that melody," he teased. He blew out a breath. "You have to talk to him, though. And soon." He shrugged. "Just tell him what you told me. But, maybe don't say you talked to me about it, he'd flip out just on that."

She sighed, shaking her head. "I know. He's threatened by you, especially in his relationships."

He what? Puck frowned. "Finn. Threatened by me." Cause that'd happen.

She nodded. "You have no idea, but he is. He would kill me if he knew I said anything, but it's so obvious. You understand how women work," Rachel narrowed her gaze at him for a moment, "whether you use that knowledge for good or evil."

He chuckled. "Guess I'm guilty on that one. Hey, I tried with him, he just never listened to me."

Rachel raised a brow. "In some respects, I do believe I'm glad for that, Noah."

He rolled his eyes, because really, Hudson was a moron as a boyfriend. "Whatever, I was just trying to —" keep him out of her pants and that was not something to say out loud, and definitely not to her. "Wait, what are you talking about?"

She frowned at him. "I mean that you've made some mistakes when it comes to women, some more serious than others, and I'm glad he didn't do the same." She flushed. "No offense, Noah, I know you've grown from those experiences."

"I definitely grow from experiences with women," he teased, smirking. "Wanna test it out?" The slow burn through his blood told him Rachel Berry in his bedroom would definitely count as an experience to grow from.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I'm sure I don't need the demonstration. But thank you."

Puck grinned. "You'd thank me more after, promise." And damned if he wouldn't thank her too...

Rachel snorted a laugh. "Only you could take a discussion of my reservations about my engagement to another man and end up propositioning me."

"I aim to please," he replied. And pleasing Rachel Berry was something he thought about waaaaaaay more than he should. "So what about NYADA? Aren't you and Kurt leaving in the morning?"

She blew out a breath. "Precisely. And Finn wants to get married at City Hall. Since my dads are coming with us, there's no problem with my age, and Finn is already 18." She swallowed visibly. "He already bought the plane ticket and Carole and Burt both know. They might even fly in to join us if Burt can get a break from Congress."

"You never do things the easy way, do you. He already told the whole Glee Club." He shook his head. "Go. You have to go talk to him now. And you know it."

"But I don't want to, Noah." She cast a pleading look at him. "I just want to close my eyes and make it all go away instead. Why can't I?"

He snorted. "Because that's not the way the world works. Take it from someone who knows."

Rachel pouted. "And that's precisely why I'm here, isn't it," she muttered.

"We could always just make out again," he offered. That would solve some problems for them both…

She rolled her eyes. "However enjoyable that might potentially be, I fail to see how that would be a solution to anything. I'm trying to make things better, not worse!"

It'd help if she didn't say how enjoyable making out might be. Puck shook his head. "I know, I just really don't know what to say." Well, besides 'so let's make out and screw Hudson anyway'. "You guys are leaving in the morning, you either talk to him now or you're getting married in New York City." He swallowed the bitter bile that rose at the statement. "Don't settle, Rachel. Go talk to him."

Rachel threw herself down on the bed. "I know. I've known all along, I just…I guess I just needed someone else to tell me." She shook her head. "Actually, I think I needed it to come from you, Noah. Thank you."

"Why me?" He quirked a brow. "Like I'm the voice of reason?"

She smiled, a hint of a smirk lurking in it. "For me? You are. And I appreciate it, more than I can say."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever, I just didn't want you to waste your money on a nose job you don't need. You see those chicks on TV, they look horrible. You're beautiful the way you are." And that wasn't something to say out loud, Puckerman, you idiot.

Rachel's smile softened. "Thank you, Noah." She blew out a breath and sat up. "I suppose I should get going — I do believe there's a conversation I need to have." She folded her hands in her lap. "Wish me luck?"

He chuckled. "For whatever good my lousy relationship luck is, sure."

She pursed her lips. "Noah. Please, do not let high school dalliances be the standard by which you measure your worth. It's a learning experience, the real thing happens —" Rachel cut herself off with a frown. "Well, there are exceptions, but —"

Puck shook his head. Of course he'd be a force for evil when it came to Finchel. "Rachel, chill, I know what you mean and I appreciate it. I'm still working on growing up, but you — you always knew you were heading for the stage. You're a step ahead of the rest of us, we're still trying to figure it out."

"I am?" she questioned softly. "It doesn't feel that way anymore."

"Well, that's the Rachel Berry I knew and slushied," he smirked. "If she got lost somewhere, maybe you need to find her before you do anything else. And definitely before you get on that stage for your audition." And no, he wasn't hoping someone had to be ditched or whatever had to happen to get there. He wasn't. (Much.)

She choked out a laugh. "That, I am happy to report, is the only time I'm still sure of myself. It's never let me down." She frowned. "But for that awful bout of tonsillitis."

He laughed. "Oh, man, that was amazing. You looked like you were gonna lose your mind."

Rachel glared at him. "I was, as a matter of fact. I was ready to do whatever the doctor suggested to never go through that again. I can't not sing, not for long."

"See, that's love. I need to find someo— something I love like that." Puck cringed. What a save.

"You will." She nodded towards his guitar. "I think you have, actually."

He followed her gaze. "Yeah, but I'm nowhere near as good as you."

"Stop it." Rachel's tone brooked no argument. "You are as talented as anyone in Glee, if not more so. You just don't believe it. But I do. I remember a little boy writing a song in the basement of the temple on the guitar he got for his bar mitzvah, and that little boy grew up to be an extremely gifted, if equally insecure, young artist. He amazes me when no one is looking, and I only wish he would believe it."

Puck swallowed hard. Sometimes he really did forget how much he'd been through with Rachel. Jews in Lima were like an oasis in the desert, and she was a heck of a drink. "Thanks," he managed.

She nodded firmly. "You're welcome. And I mean it, Noah."

He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Yeah, I know. I know."

She smiled and stood. "Thank you for letting me get all of that out. I needed someone who would be really honest with me, and for all we've been through, you've never lied to me. I appreciate that."

"I did. Lie. Once." Puck winced. Stupid. Why say that?

She frowned, a brow lifting in question. "You did?"

"Yeah. I did." He shrugged. "Doesn't matter now, though. It wasn't really important."

She brightened. "You mean, since we're friends. You told me then we were never friends, but you said we are."

"Something like that," he replied. Really, he should've kept his mouth shut. Wasn't like it mattered. "Anyway, good luck. Text me tomorrow, let me know how the big city treats you."

"I will." Rachel brushed herself off. "Thank you, Noah. You don't have to walk me out."

"I will though, Ma would kill me." He gestured her ahead of him. What difference did it make what he lied about? Not like he would have changed her mind.

"I was gonna break up with you anyway," he retorted, stung as he watched Quinn and Finn on the football field.

"No, you weren't."

No. No he wasn't.

"Noah? Is Rachel gone?" Muriel emerged from the kitchen with a frown. "I would have wished her luck, at least."

"She's long gone, Ma. Long gone." He picked up the controller again. Video games never left him behind, either.

A.N.: I'm sorry! I'm sorry. But...I really enjoyed this one. So um, review, or just run over to my LJ for some Smuckleberry compensation. Thanks for reading, my lovelies.