Tears and Memories

Kahora-chan: uhhh…well here's another fanfic 5986. I was inspired by the song "Tears" by "xjapan" and as a result tadda! Here it is. Hope you'll like it. Because I know I'm not that great.

"Sometimes love doesn't start with a good beginning, it can also start in a way you least expected it to be."-kahora-chan

Disclaimer: I do not own khr

Italized words stand for the thought of a character or it means flashback.

( Haru's POV)

It has been 14 years since Tsuna-san and the others defeated the Milliefiore. In that battle depends our future and everyone's life depend on it. During that time I am afraid of what will happen. But now everything's changed and it is peaceful. That is thanks to them.

After the fight, we returned to the present time. Everyone changed, they become more mature. Maybe it's because of what happened though. Yamamoto-san is still cheerful as always but became serious at the same time. I noticed that because we are close friends. Ryohei-san started to go out with Hana, and I think they are cute to look at. He's till the same though. Lambo-chan turned into a teenager with really good looks and I think he has something for I-pin. HIbari-san, well I don't really know if he changed a lot or what. We never had a time to talk about stuff because he hates crowding, and he is cold. Tsuna-san, after seeing everything his power and authority made me realize the great gap between us. Back before, a year after we returned from the future he told me that I'm a part of his family and thus he doesn't want me to be hurt by any means. The memory of that day really brings tears to my eyes.

Flashback

" A-Ano, Haru?" Tsuna-san called me while cleaning the kitchen.

"Hai Tsuna-san?" I answered

"Can I t-talk to you about s-something?" He asked

"Hahi! Is there a problem Tsuna-san?"

", there's no problem. It's-It's about y-you though." He said. Then he looked at me with serious eyes.

"You know you're a part of this family right Haru. I-I don't want you to be h-hurt whether emotionally or physically, dakara…" Then he held my hands.

"Hahi! Tsuna-san?" I asked puzzled by what he wanted to say.

"..dakara Haru, I think it is better if you stop hurting yourself because of loving me. I-I already li-" I stopped him by continuing what he wanted to say. Its hurts but it's the truth.

"Like someone, and that's Kyoko-chan ne? Tsuna-san. Is that what you mean?" then I smiled. But deep inside me, Im crying, im hurting. Saying those words felt like stabbing my own heart with a knife.

Tsuna-san looked at me with a worried face but I said I'm okay and I know that already and I thanked him. Before he left he looked back and said,

"I'm sorry Haru." Then he walked away.

End of flashback.

I held my tears back then before he left. After he disappeared my tears started to flow like a river. All the pain that I have been suppressing burst out.I cried and cried like an idiot. That time I didn't care if somebody told me I'm stupid, or tell me it's going to be alright, or it is extremely painful but someday someone will make me happy again, or even give me a deadly glare that I wish really can kill.

But I moved on now. As they say it is better not to cry over spilled milk. Oh I forgot about Gokudera-san, well I think both of us became closer unexpectedly. He acts more mature now. Even when he was to lose his temper he would just walk away and snarl.

Sigh. " Haru is sooo tired desu!"

Thinking things like that depresses me. I looked at my table and saw the report papers that I failed to submit to Tsuna-san yesterday and decided to pas it now.

"Hahi. Haru needs to submit these papers to Tsuna-san."

I then walked out of my room and headed outside. As I am to lock down my apartment my telephone rang. So I went to pick it up.

"moshi moshi. Miura residence how can I help you?" I said

" Ah. Haru its Lambo-kun." The voice answered.

"Hahi! Lambo-chan! Why did you call?"

"uh.. Well Tsuna-san asked me to call you and ask if you were alright cause you failed to submit the report papers about your mission in Florida yesterday."

"Oh, can you please tell Tsuna-san I'm sorry about that but I'm going today."

"Sure bye Haru. Take care."

Then the call was cut off. I headed to my car and turned it on. On my way to the HQ I turned on my ipod and listened to my favorite song "Tears" by xjapan. It's a very beautiful song. I first heard this song from Gokudera-san. That was on the 9th of September.

That time when I first heard it I am lonely because that's the day when Kyoko-chan and Tsuna-san were officially called a couple. I know I am stupid for crying because of that but it is still too much for me. I can't help it, I've been smiling like a fool for a long time now and I kept wearing this mask every time I talk to somebody. So I decided to walk outside the kitchen where they are celebrating.

Flashback.

I am walking at the corridor that time with no definite direction. I just kept on walking and walking until I heard a certain melody. I stopped then looked around me. The melody is everywhere its sound is resonating through the thick walls of the base. The tone of that melody is sad but comforting. I can feel it embracing me and my feelings. I wanted to know where it is coming from so I searched for the source of this melody. Then I reached the far end of the base and I saw light coming from a room. I peeked at the door and saw Gokudera-san playing the piano. I stood there frozen but eventually I melted with my feelings because of the song. Tears began to flow again; I began to cry like I have never cried before. I really don't know the reason why I am crying, maybe it's because this music triggers this tears or maybe this music helped me to soothe this overflowing pain and misery that I am feeling right now. I just cried there at the door not even noticing that the music already stopped. I just cried, not even hearing Gokudera-san calling out my name. This feeling that is overflowing inside my heart is devouring me and all my senses, making me numb.

"O-OI! I said stop crying you stupid woman! What the hell is wrong with you?" Gokudera-san said as he took my hands off my face and wiped my tears.

"H-H-Ha H-Hi… I-I-I j-just.." I tried to answer him but I failed. I am embarrassed but I felt o weak. All my strength was only focused on my ability to cry.

"Tsk. Now you're really proving me that you are stupid." Gokudera-san said till wiping the tears that are flowing from my eyes.

"It's painful right? Losing someone dear to you and knowing that some things will never come back to the way it was before." While saying these words, I can feel Gokudera-san's pain. I never though he will be the one to say these kind of things to me because we always fight.

"Crying will never lead you anything stupid woman." He sighed and talked again.

"Sometimes our tears blinded the love. That's one of the lyrics in that song I was just playing. Once you feel pain, before you knew it tears will start running down your face. Then everything around you becomes pitch black and you see nothing. You will start feeling that you are alone. You will start closing down your world, making your life more filled with pain. You'll eventually lose interest in life." He stopped talking and looked at me.

"Why the hell am I explaining it to you?Che."he said still wiping the last tears that flowed from my eyes.

I don't really know why but the words that Gokudera-san just said made me stop from crying. I could see pain in his face maybe he'd remembering something painful.

"I-Im sorry Gokudera-san." Was all I could say.

"Nah. It's alright. It's good to know that you had stopped crying. You're a mess." He said then he stood up and reached out hid hands to me. Then he smiled.

That time I don't know but all the strength that I had lost came back. The pain that is devouring me started to fade away.

I took his hands and it felt warm and nice. It is big and very manly. That was the very first time I touched his hands. Who would have thought that those tears can be dried by love? A friend's love.

End of flashback.

Since that day I started to move on. Gokudera-san was right if I allowed myself to be devoured by that feeling I will be miserable. And I don't want that. Tsuna-san doesn't want that.

I reached the HQ and walked traight to Tsuna-san's office. I knocked three times and went it.

"Ah. Haru, konnichiwa." Tsuna-san said as I entered the room.

"Tsuna-san, Haru is sorry for bringing the reports late. Haru is tired that's why she overslept and forgot about the report. I'm so sorry desu." I said while handing the reports to Tsuna-san.

"I-It's alright Haru, sorry for disturbing your rest. A-Ano I have a favor to ask though." Tsuna-san said

"Hahi? What is it Tsuna-san?"

"I know you are tired but I wanted you to go with Gokudera-san to China. I gave him this mission about convincing some people to join us, but I'm a bit worried because he's short-tempered." Then he sighed and looked at me with tired eyes.

"I understand Tsuna-san. I'll go with Gokudera-san to China. Is that all?" I asked.

" Yes that' all. Thank you Haru." He said then smiled at me politely.

I walked out his office and head to the garden for some rest with nature. When I reached the garden I saw Gokudera-san sitting at the bench beside the daisies under the shade of a tree. If my guess is right, Gokudera-sanis is probably smoking right now. Because for him, the garden is like a smoking area.

I walked up to him and said,

"It's great to relax here and smoke ne, Gokudera-san?" then he looked at me with a cigarette hanging between his thin lips. See? I'm right.

"What are you doing here stupid woman?" he said with a frown.

"Hahi! You never change do you? May Haru sit beside you?" I said pouting my lips.

" Tsk. Why do I need to change? Go on it's not taken." Then mentioned the space beside him.

"Tsuna-san asked me to accompany you to China." I said after sitting beside him.

" Che. I can do it on my own. But if it is what Jyuudaime wants, I'm not going to go against it."he answered.

" Well then, please take care of me." I said then looked at the roses in front of the well near me.

" Yeah, Whatever." Gokudera-san snarled but remained quiet afterwards.

We sat there in silence. I don't know why but this silence feels great. I just recently realized this, I always feel great when Gokudera-san is with me. Maybe Tsuna-san noticed me so that's why he asked me to do the mission with Gokudera-san.

For the past few years I can only really smile a "real" smile and get angry when Gokudera-san is with me. Maybe because he was the one I opened up with before. Maybe because he was the only one who showed me that life I not always fair. And maybe he was the one who taught me that love doesn't always have a good beginning, sometimes it can start from feeling pain first.

Kahora-chan: waaahhh.. I really do hope you'll like it. well please do post a review after reading this story. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

o =3=