Title: PATIENCE
Author: Eyana
Rating: PG-13. Will be strong language later.. now its pretty tame.
Summary: The Merovingian has a little 'test' in store for the Twins.
Distribution: Ask me first, archive later.
Warnings: Minor Twin/Twin allusions, but mostly just ridicules and delicious fun.
Author's Note: My first fanfic. Note: I made the twins a lot more individual than I would have if this had been a serious fic (using "I" instead of "We" etc), but its humor so I think I have a bit more freedom to screw around. The story is set before Reloaded, but I guess it doesn't really matter with this story too much. Also, I'm sure there are some mistakes about the technicalities of the Matrix in here (keys, etc) but just try to ignore them.
Disclaimer: God, I WISH I owned the Twins. Matrix universe property WB etc. blah blah blah. Everything else is mine.. So I'm left with crap.
Feedback: E-mail me at chrissy_butter@hotmail.com No flames please.
CHAPTER ONE:
"How long has it been now?"
"46 minutes. Stop asking, you have the same watch I do."
"I know. But I'm reading."
"Well what the bloody hell do you think I'm doing?"
Twin One rustled his magazine, annoyed, and turned the page carefully, letting the brightly colored text and gorgeous pictures seep into his simulated eyes. They had been killing time for more than half an hour in the small waiting room of the "Pretty Betsy Nail Salon" while the Merovingian was in the back room. One had given up counting how many blonde big-breasted women had entered the store and decided to follow Two's example in checking-out whatever wonderful reading material this establishment had to offer. Finally accepting that they did not carry his favorite magazine of "Killing Slowly Weekly" (they were supposed to have 50 ways of torturing your enemy with a butter knife in the next issue) he settled for an old edition of "Beautiful Hair" instead.
"How long could it possibly take?" One muttered behind his magazine, and glanced at Two, who had a delighted smirk on his face as he read the latest edition of "Hollywood Gossip".
"Excuse me?" a rather perky attendant asked from the front of the store, staring at the pair with somewhat disturbed eyes. Perhaps it wasn't usual for two albino twins with silver dreadlocks and matching suits to enter her store. Then again, was it usual anywhere? Both Twins put down their magazines simultaneously, looking up at the redhead with the gap in her teeth.
"Are you two with Mr. Merovingian?"
"Close enough" Two commented, and nodded slightly.
The women smiled and gestured towards the back room. "He wants to see you now."
The Twins stood up, tossed their magazines aside and followed the women behind the curtain with even, confident strides. One would never admit it out loud, but the reason they were able to synchronize their walk so precisely was by silently saying their mantra "Hot shit, hot shit hot shit".
Once they had passed the curtain, the Twins stopped dead in their tracks and dumbly looked at the sight before them. There sat the Merovingian, wearing a fuzzy pink bathrobe, a lime green facial, sparkly clips in his hair and surrounded by female attendants papering him like there was no tomorrow.
"Not again.." Two muttered.
The Merovingian smiled, and gestured for them to come closer, careful not to disturb his new manicure. The Twins obeyed hesitantly, silently wishing that they didn't have a boss that listened to Britney Spears.
"Well?" he asked, placing his chin out slightly, "what do you think?"
The Twins looked at each other, and then back at the Merovingian, completely unaware of what the hell he was talking about. Twin One was about to comment on what he thought about the salons variety in magazines when the Merovingian cleared his throat a little to loudly.
"The color. THE COLOR!" He ordered in his thick French accent,
wiggling his newly buffed toes at the twins.
"Oh" One stammered, glanced at his boss' violently squirming digits before answering quickly "very nice. Tropical green suits you."
The Merovingian relaxed with the compliment, adjusted his fuzzy bathrobe, and smiled once again. "I suppose you are wondering why I have asked you here."
The Twins nodded slightly.
"You are two of my best bodyguards, and do not think I don't take
pleasure in watching you.." he paused, a perverted smirk spreading
across his face ".do your work. But recently I have become somewhat
displeased in what you do. Which is why I have decided to perform a
little.. experiment on the two of you. Call it a test if you wish."
The Merovingian purred as an attendant started to rub coconut oil on
his temples.
Two looked up, his eyebrows knitted together. "Displeased? Test? What have we done to deserve-"
"SILENCE!" The Merovingian shouted, wiggling his toes like they were unattached from his body. "Do I have to remind you of the Anakaw incident?"
One sighed angrily, "I told you! I didn't mean to kill him, but he was so drunk and kept pinching me in the ass and calling me Rudolf in-front of all the workers at the gas-station-" The Merovingian unexpectedly threw a perfume bottle at One's head, spouting French curses and numerous versions of "Silence" through his teeth. Twin One shut-up, rubbing his new bruise.
"You both obviously have some lessons to learn, and fortunately I am
just the genius program to teach them to you. If you had a shred of
patience in your miserable code then perhaps the Anakaw would still be
alive and I would have those furry slippers by now!" The Merovingian snarled, waving his arms as if he was capable of making a point with them.
After a few moments, he sat back into his chair and stretched his hand out delicately, allowing the attendant to continue buffing.
"Now, you will take this gateway key, and go through that portal," he
motioned with the piece of metal towards the door at the right. "Once
inside, you will not be able to leave for exactly six hours. I have
written a wonderful little program for you, and I'm sure-" the
Merovingian bent forward, exposing his perfectly bleached teeth, "you
will acquire some new talents upon its conclusion."
One shuddered. Two stared at the Merovingian, bug eyed, through his sunglasses.
The Merovingian tossed the Twins the key, and proceeded to spout commands in French to the salon attendants that seemed to have doubled in number. Although Two's French was not as extensive as the Merovingian's, he overheard the words "diaper" and "lollypop" then quickly blocked out the rest. Knowing that they were excused, the Twins dragged themselves over to the door and fumbled with the key.
"Do we really have to do this?"
"YOU weren't the one who got a bottle hucked at his head"
"Well why the hell didn't you phase?"
"..shut up."
Twin One opened the door and the two slowly stepped through. While they entered their new surrounding, both could only think of one thing: it's amazing how little Persephone knew about her husband.
************************************
Author: Eyana
Rating: PG-13. Will be strong language later.. now its pretty tame.
Summary: The Merovingian has a little 'test' in store for the Twins.
Distribution: Ask me first, archive later.
Warnings: Minor Twin/Twin allusions, but mostly just ridicules and delicious fun.
Author's Note: My first fanfic. Note: I made the twins a lot more individual than I would have if this had been a serious fic (using "I" instead of "We" etc), but its humor so I think I have a bit more freedom to screw around. The story is set before Reloaded, but I guess it doesn't really matter with this story too much. Also, I'm sure there are some mistakes about the technicalities of the Matrix in here (keys, etc) but just try to ignore them.
Disclaimer: God, I WISH I owned the Twins. Matrix universe property WB etc. blah blah blah. Everything else is mine.. So I'm left with crap.
Feedback: E-mail me at chrissy_butter@hotmail.com No flames please.
CHAPTER ONE:
"How long has it been now?"
"46 minutes. Stop asking, you have the same watch I do."
"I know. But I'm reading."
"Well what the bloody hell do you think I'm doing?"
Twin One rustled his magazine, annoyed, and turned the page carefully, letting the brightly colored text and gorgeous pictures seep into his simulated eyes. They had been killing time for more than half an hour in the small waiting room of the "Pretty Betsy Nail Salon" while the Merovingian was in the back room. One had given up counting how many blonde big-breasted women had entered the store and decided to follow Two's example in checking-out whatever wonderful reading material this establishment had to offer. Finally accepting that they did not carry his favorite magazine of "Killing Slowly Weekly" (they were supposed to have 50 ways of torturing your enemy with a butter knife in the next issue) he settled for an old edition of "Beautiful Hair" instead.
"How long could it possibly take?" One muttered behind his magazine, and glanced at Two, who had a delighted smirk on his face as he read the latest edition of "Hollywood Gossip".
"Excuse me?" a rather perky attendant asked from the front of the store, staring at the pair with somewhat disturbed eyes. Perhaps it wasn't usual for two albino twins with silver dreadlocks and matching suits to enter her store. Then again, was it usual anywhere? Both Twins put down their magazines simultaneously, looking up at the redhead with the gap in her teeth.
"Are you two with Mr. Merovingian?"
"Close enough" Two commented, and nodded slightly.
The women smiled and gestured towards the back room. "He wants to see you now."
The Twins stood up, tossed their magazines aside and followed the women behind the curtain with even, confident strides. One would never admit it out loud, but the reason they were able to synchronize their walk so precisely was by silently saying their mantra "Hot shit, hot shit hot shit".
Once they had passed the curtain, the Twins stopped dead in their tracks and dumbly looked at the sight before them. There sat the Merovingian, wearing a fuzzy pink bathrobe, a lime green facial, sparkly clips in his hair and surrounded by female attendants papering him like there was no tomorrow.
"Not again.." Two muttered.
The Merovingian smiled, and gestured for them to come closer, careful not to disturb his new manicure. The Twins obeyed hesitantly, silently wishing that they didn't have a boss that listened to Britney Spears.
"Well?" he asked, placing his chin out slightly, "what do you think?"
The Twins looked at each other, and then back at the Merovingian, completely unaware of what the hell he was talking about. Twin One was about to comment on what he thought about the salons variety in magazines when the Merovingian cleared his throat a little to loudly.
"The color. THE COLOR!" He ordered in his thick French accent,
wiggling his newly buffed toes at the twins.
"Oh" One stammered, glanced at his boss' violently squirming digits before answering quickly "very nice. Tropical green suits you."
The Merovingian relaxed with the compliment, adjusted his fuzzy bathrobe, and smiled once again. "I suppose you are wondering why I have asked you here."
The Twins nodded slightly.
"You are two of my best bodyguards, and do not think I don't take
pleasure in watching you.." he paused, a perverted smirk spreading
across his face ".do your work. But recently I have become somewhat
displeased in what you do. Which is why I have decided to perform a
little.. experiment on the two of you. Call it a test if you wish."
The Merovingian purred as an attendant started to rub coconut oil on
his temples.
Two looked up, his eyebrows knitted together. "Displeased? Test? What have we done to deserve-"
"SILENCE!" The Merovingian shouted, wiggling his toes like they were unattached from his body. "Do I have to remind you of the Anakaw incident?"
One sighed angrily, "I told you! I didn't mean to kill him, but he was so drunk and kept pinching me in the ass and calling me Rudolf in-front of all the workers at the gas-station-" The Merovingian unexpectedly threw a perfume bottle at One's head, spouting French curses and numerous versions of "Silence" through his teeth. Twin One shut-up, rubbing his new bruise.
"You both obviously have some lessons to learn, and fortunately I am
just the genius program to teach them to you. If you had a shred of
patience in your miserable code then perhaps the Anakaw would still be
alive and I would have those furry slippers by now!" The Merovingian snarled, waving his arms as if he was capable of making a point with them.
After a few moments, he sat back into his chair and stretched his hand out delicately, allowing the attendant to continue buffing.
"Now, you will take this gateway key, and go through that portal," he
motioned with the piece of metal towards the door at the right. "Once
inside, you will not be able to leave for exactly six hours. I have
written a wonderful little program for you, and I'm sure-" the
Merovingian bent forward, exposing his perfectly bleached teeth, "you
will acquire some new talents upon its conclusion."
One shuddered. Two stared at the Merovingian, bug eyed, through his sunglasses.
The Merovingian tossed the Twins the key, and proceeded to spout commands in French to the salon attendants that seemed to have doubled in number. Although Two's French was not as extensive as the Merovingian's, he overheard the words "diaper" and "lollypop" then quickly blocked out the rest. Knowing that they were excused, the Twins dragged themselves over to the door and fumbled with the key.
"Do we really have to do this?"
"YOU weren't the one who got a bottle hucked at his head"
"Well why the hell didn't you phase?"
"..shut up."
Twin One opened the door and the two slowly stepped through. While they entered their new surrounding, both could only think of one thing: it's amazing how little Persephone knew about her husband.
************************************