The truth about bullets
A Kim Possible one-shot.
By Archaon.
Disclaimer: I own not.
- - -
The lithe figure, dressed in slacks and a matching top, crossed the road and entered the park, an extra spring in her step. Auburn hair bouncing and green eyes gleaming, she could barely restrain herself from running and leaping around in glee.
Kimberly Ann Possible, collage freshman and international crimefighter had progressed from teen hero to young hero and was enjoying every second. She and Ron Stoppable, her best friend, boyfriend, partner and mystic monkey master had just moved in their new apartment in Go City. Leaving the Tri-City area behind had not been an easy decision, but neither of them regretted it. They had decided that living under the same roof was totally worth it.
Currently, Kim was returning to said apartment after a swift bank run, seeing as it was Friday evening and she would be needing cash during the weekend. While some would be intimidated by the dark park and its many burned light bulbs, she knew that few things could pose a threat to her. After spending six years risking her life around the world, she had decided that urban, everyday dangers were sorely overrated.
A shrill cry from her left gave an end to her musings. For a second, she debated whether or not she should investigate. A smile touched her lips. There was no way she would ignore such immediate a plea for help and manage to sleep at night. Creeping through the bushes as silent as the smoothest on ninjas, she soon reached the scene of the current drama.
The woman was in her mid-twenties with raven-black hair and generic but stylish clothes. Before her stood two thugs that had apparently jumped from the surrounding flora. The leaves and branches caught in their hair were a dead giveaway. Both had their faces obscured with high-necked trenchcoats and baseball cups and were visibly nervous. One of them was carrying a switchblade while the other sported a handgun.
Kim smirked. Complete and utter amateurs.
"Hand over your purse and you won't get hurt missy", ordered the first, although his voice came very close to a squeak.
Their female victim was quite intimidated despite their poor performance, so Kim decided it was high time she intervened. "I think you two gentlemen had better leave her alone", she declared audibly, casually leaving her cover.
The two would be thieves almost had a heart attack. Completely forgetting about their victim, they turned around as fast as they could, knife and gun ready. "Who the hell do you think you are?" demanded the gun thug, his voice angry lest he revealed his apprehension.
"Just your friendly neighborhood cheerleader", she chirped merrily, drawing a blank stare from the first mugger.
The smirk that had never left her face grew wider as the second petty criminal gasped. "I know her! She's Kim Possible, the chick that goes around the world and stops loony villains", he exclaimed. "Jack, we are screwed, let's run for it."
While the first thug was almost as unnerved as his friend, he decided to let his pride take over. "Not so fast. I know who she is, but come on, Tim. We have a gun here, a prime instrument of stopping force. She is used to fighting hand to hand and avoiding silly glittery rays. As long as we keep our distance, a bullet can still do her in."
Kim sighed wearily, shaking her head. "You two are so busted. If you drop your weapons and come quietly, I'll persuade the officers to go easy on you", she offered.
Gun thug made sure to keep his handgun poised. "Look here miss hero. In case you don't know what I have here, it's called a gun. I can use it to kill things."
The redhead failed to be impressed. "A Glock DF-65, 20 rounds clip, 9mm Luger", she responded, visibly bored.
The gun crook blinked in disbelief. "I…" he tried, then his eyes went wide as Kim started walking towards them slowly but purposefully. "I'm serious here, I'm gonna shoot!" he exclaimed frantically.
She ignored him, taking a second to look behind her to make sure no innocent bystanders were around. The first bullet went flying and she slightly twitched her shoulder to avoid ruining her clothes. The second bullet also missed as she took a tiny step to her right. Never breaking her casual stride, she brought her hand to her mouth and yawned, conveniently missing the shot that would have injured her fingers.
"It's funny how many people think like you do", she started casually, slightly twisting her pelvis to avoid the fourth bullet. "I can survive deathrays, energy blasters and giant tops of doom and yet people think I have no chance against a mundane weapon", she mused. She hopped above the fifth bullet, shaking her head all the while. "Never mind that most deathrays are for all intents and purposes instantaneous while bullets are way slower. So slow I can practically see them coming." As if to prove her point, she leaped to avoid the sixth, twisted in midair to avoid the seventh, landed on a handstand and made an upside-down split to dodge the eighth and performed a half wheel to her left to return to her feet and casually miss the ninth shot.
By now the thugs were just about ready to soil their pants. "Never mind that if I can hear when the laser turrets are going to fire, I can also hear the click of the trigger." The tenth, eleventh and twelfth bullets were so off the target she didn't even bother to blink.
"Never mind that if I can see a blaster priming, I can sure as hell see when your finger twitches on the trigger or when you brace yourself for the backlash, or even when your eyes narrow on what you target."
The next four shots were dodged so fast, the two thugs were not sure what kind of technique she had used. "I mean please, a mere handgun?" she mocked, her breath as even as ever. The seventeenth bullet was dodged during a casual twirl. "If you had something more automatic, I would be taking this seriously. A shotgun can be quite nasty and I would start getting worried if you had a flamethrower or an RPG launcher handy."
The eighteenth and nineteenth shots were lost in a blur of red hair. "Last time I faced a flamethrower, I had to replace 20 percent of my skin. The pain I could take, but I almost missed the cheerleading regionals while waiting for the marks to fade. I'm just lucky when it comes to health and tech support, I guess."
Now white-faced, the gun thug attempted to fire at Kim at point blank. A small but powerful hand gripped his wrist and moved his arm to the side rapidly, then pressed at a particular point just next to the thug's watch. The twentieth bullet went flying as the handgun's side was touching the second thug's earlobe. The knife thug, that had desperately tried to attack as soon as Kim came in range, dropped his blade and screamed in pain clutching his ear. The sharp noise proved to be too much for him and he dropped to his knees, a tiny trickle of blood leaking from his brutalized eardrum.
The young hero never stopped moving, using the first thug's gun arm to flip him over her shoulder and throw him right onto his incapacitated companion, extracting the handgun from his hand at the same time.
As they both collapsed as so many potato sacks, she turned the weapon towards the sky and fired the twenty-first and last bullet. "Always assume there is an extra one left in the chamber", she whispered to herself.
Dropping the gun, she turned and smiled to the other woman that was staring at her in awe. Kim sighed and smiled again when she saw two policemen running towards their position. "Semi-decent workout…"
- - -
Ron paused his videogame and rose to his feet, reaching for the door and opening it just in time to see a startled Kim with a key extended. "Hey, KP!"
Kim lightly bobbed him on the head. "Stop doing that every time I try to unlock the door", she complained playfully. He responded by drawing her into a kiss.
After a while, Ron held his BFGF at arm's length and raised a brow. "You have mission smell", he stated.
Kim scowled. "I took a shower five hours ago."
He stuck his tongue out. "I never said it was a bad smell. It smells of strawberries, enticement, excitement and burned adrenaline. The monkey knows", he added tapping his nose. "Very very… stimulating", he added nibbling at her earlobe.
She cutely bit her lip. "Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Stoppable?"
"I believe I will have you soundly seduced in a couple of hours, Miss Possible", he returned in the same tone. "So, what happened?" he asked more casually.
"No big! Just a gun jock and his misdirected ego, standard sitch. Kicked butt, saved mugged woman, talked to the cops, the usual." Ron casually accepted that, dismissing the whole thing as insignificant. "Now, about that seduction …" she went on, gasping as he started massaging her back while slowly removing garments.
"Anything for my lady…"
The End
- - -
Just a silly little piece I wrote after reading one too many fics involving Kim, bullets and drama. Anyone that can dodge deathrays, can dodge bullets better and I didn't even bring the supersuit in the story. Also, anyone that can face giant robots of doom with huge energy blasters can also face a gun muzzle without breaking a sweat. Btw, the handgun's serial is entirely fictional.