Fandom: Avatar
Characters: Zuko/Katara
Notes/Words: 300 words. Oh, the humanity! For sirenstrings.
Warnings: PG-13; crack, language, AU
Zuko hated his toast with the passion of a million ear-chopping artists. Hated it. Almost as much as he hated the newspaper, but such loathing went beyond mere words and usually ended with him smashing things.
"Look on the bright side," his uncle and manager Iroh said, "Mai's in Paris and probably won't find out for at least a week."
Mai. Zuko could feel his insides withering. He ate his toast nervously.
"My nephew," Iroh said gravely, "It brings me great joy to see you flourish so. But don't you think—"
"It meant nothing and I was drunk," Zuko said twitchily. "Could I maybe go into hiding? How exactly do I get myself put under house arrest?"
Iroh sighed, "Zuko, this is hardly the drama you are making it out to be—"
"Uncle," Zuko interrupted, "Have you ever had a one-night stand?"
Iroh sipped his tea benevolently. Zuko leaned over the table, "Have you ever had a one-night stand…and then have it end up on the cover of People magazine?"
There was a sudden smashing noise from outside as the paparazzi managed to trip over yet another fabulously rare piece of artwork. The conspirators of Zuko's grand humiliation. Iroh winced.
"If you had managed to play nice like I'd told you to," he rebuked, "Perhaps this would not have come to pass."
"I tried to be nice!" Zuko snapped, "She just…she doesn't like white people, or something!"
"Zuko," Iroh said pointedly. Zuko sulked.
"Well, she doesn't."
"I think it is more a matter of elemental incompatibility," Iroh mused aloud. Zuko ground his teeth.
"Uncle, it is a band. She is a singer, not the living embodiment of some water-goddess. And the flames on my guitar? For show. For show."
"Indeed," Iroh nodded. And sipped his tea. Zuko sighed, slumping backwards, and glancing towards the door glumly. He could see light flashing through the frame, as dozens of cameras tested out the lighting.
"This is ridiculous," Zuko whined. "This is. This is a cliché."
"So many things are," Iroh agreed, and settled in to yet another entertaining morning of watching his darling nephew throw a tantrum.