Hi everyone! I had this idea floating around in my crazy mind and just had to write it.
A big thanks to cullens'moothmuse554 for being my amazing beta. *big hug*
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.
"I love Edward!" I clasp my mouth with both my hands shocked at what I had just said. But it was the truth. I did love Edward. I have for the past two years now, and he likes me too. The only problem is that he doesn't like me the same way I like him, because ever since we met six years ago, when I had first moved here to Forks I have officially been in the friend zone and have been established to him as just one of the guys.
It's not a bad thing to be a tom-boy, so what if I like to watch rugby, not for the boys, but because I actually appreciate the sport. So what if I like to burp out loud. So what if I don't like to dress up in frilly skirts and dresses. I'm just myself. I don't have any friends that are girls, except Alice. She is the only one who accepts me for who I am.
I look over to Alice. Her eyes are as wide as a deer staring down head lights. Although I am mortified with myself I can't help but feel slight pleasure at her reaction, I have never once caught Alice Brandon off guard.
"Well say something" I urge her. My secret is already out in the open and her silence is killing me.
"Alice!" I snap. She looks at me and smiles so widely I momentarily wonder if I have made a mistake in confiding in her.
"Bella!" she squeals and starts hopping up and down in joy. "OMG! Bella! I knew it! Everyone always says you two should be together. I knew it." Now she is jumping so fast she reminds me of those energizer bunnies.
"Alice stop you're making me dizzy." She stops and jumps on the bed next to me making me almost bounce onto the floor. Although I might be a big fan of everything to do with sports, I myself have never been blessed with any athletic abilities. I suddenly remember the time I got hit in the back of my head with a volley ball hard enough to knock me out for five minutes and cringe at the memory. Jessica did say she was sorry afterwards but I still don't think it was an accident.
"You have to tell Edward!" she says getting up.
"No!" I scream as I comically fly through the air towards her only to land flat on my face. "Ouch." I breathe rubbing my head whilst I look up at her. "Alice, Edward and I have been friends for like ever, I can't just tell him. What if it ruins our friendship? What if he looks at me like I'm some kind of freak and walks away? What if…"
"What if he actually likes you back?" she fills in.
I inwardly sigh and look down to my chewed nails. "Alice, to him I'm just one of the guys."
"Bella…" her voice is so full of sympathy that I look up at her again to suddenly see a sly smile creep across her face. It is her 'idea face'. "Then what if you weren't one of the guys?"
"Alice this is a stupid idea." I say five hours later. It is almost evening, but there is still a bit of lingering light left in the sky. I hold onto the door handle for dear life, who knew heels can be such a potential death threat. How Alice has persuaded me to dress like the girls in magazines that I make fun of, I will never know. You are desperate and want Edward to notice you as girlfriend material. Ok maybe I do know I think back to the stupid voice in my head, and inwardly curse.
"Bella you look gorgeous." I look at myself in Alice's floor to ceiling length mirror. When Alice does a makeover, well it really is a makeover. My always tied up auburn hair is curled and styled down my back. Not to say how terrified I was when Alice approached me with hot styling tongs. My lips are a deep shade of red that shines brightly against my pale skin which is powdered to perfection. My brown eyes look huge under the thick fringe of my mascara-ed lashes. I look nothing like me. I bring my hand up to my face and wince slightly as I brush my newly shaped eyebrows.
"But I hurt everywhere." Stay away from tweezers and wax I mentally file away. "I don't understand why you would go through so much pain just to get rid of hair, what's wrong with shaving?"
"Bella!" Alice gasps and looks at me like I was some kind of uneducated alien. To be truthful when it came to girly fluff and glitter I was perfectly ignorant. "If you shave all the time your hair just grows back stronger and longer, waxing removes the hair completely. Now stop wasting time. The guys are downstairs and you are going to go straight to my brother and stun him." She reassuringly squeezes my shoulders.
"And what about this top" I gesture to the body hugging black so called dress on me. It was the shortest dress I have ever worn; actually it is the only dress I have ever worn.
"Bella you'll be fine." Before I can procrastinate any further she pushes me out of her room and to the top of the stair case.
I see the guys, Jasper, Emmett and Edward. They are all hanging out in the lounge, from which you have a perfect view of the stairs. Here goes nothing I think to myself and I smile as I start going down. Then that's when everything starts going in a slow motion. It feels like something straight out of a cheesy romance movie. The guys all simultaneously turn to look up at me and gape. I feel vulnerable for the first time in my life. I turn to look behind me only to find Alice not there. I am on my own. I take a deep breath and concentrate on not falling on my face and try being 'sexy' as Alice puts it; heavens have mercy on me.
"Hey." I say to them and slightly wobble in the sleek black six inch death traps called shoes as I enter the room. There is complete silence and I start getting more nervous than I already am. Thankfully Alice comes in out of nowhere and breaks the uncomfortable silence.
"Umm, Emmett you have a little drool over here." She giggles and indicates to a spot on her chin.
"Bella?" it is Edward. I look up praying that the abundance of makeup Alice put on me hides my burning red cheeks. His eyes hold shock but I think I see admiration in them and a bit of lust?
"Yes?" my voice comes out shaky. Edward opens his mouth as if to say something then closes it again. Come on Edward spit it out. Say something, anything. Only he doesn't.
"Bella you look like a girl." Emmett says surprised. I turn to glare at him. "A smoking hot girl at that." He adds and grins.
"Emmett, I have GTA5 and if I remember correctly didn't Jazz say he was better at it than you?" Alice asks grabbing Emmett's attention, whom at the sound of a video game jumps off the couch, sprints towards the game room with Alice and Jasper laughing behind him and that leaves me and Edward alone. My breathing increases, I can hear my own heart beat in my chest. Can Edward hear it too? I look up at Edward from under my lashes.
"Edward…"
"Bella…" we speak at the same time. "You go first." He says. I am quiet. I don't really know how to tell him. Of course I have practiced this moment in front of the mirror for the past two years but I never really expected to actually do it. I preferred admiring from afar where I can't get hurt. But there's no going back now. Not after all you've been through.
I take a deep breath. "Edward you've been my best friend ever since I moved here and remember when we became friends we promised each other there would be no secrets between us, well I have been keeping one from you for the past two years now and…" Oh great I'm mumbling now. Edward lifted my chin with his finger and his emerald eyes met mine, I never even realized I was even looking down. Wow I'm looking down a lot today. "Edward I love you… and I…I want us to be more than friends." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Edward drops his hand to his side and looks shocked. Wow Bella you shocked two people in one day. This has got to be a new record.
A century seemed to pass before he speaks. "This is a joke isn't it?" he asks slowly.
"I… umm… I…" I stutter. A JOKE! No its not, I actually do love you Edward! But instead I say "Yes, it's a joke." I try to keep the pain out of my voice.
"That's a relief because I was so shocked for a second." His words are like a cold slap across my face. The tears in my eyes threaten to fall. But I push it all back with a fake smile.
"Yah, it's a joke." I whisper "I'm... I'm going to take this off its getting uncomfortable." I gesture to my outfit and turn away from him and head up to Alice's room not trying to keep in the tears that quietly fall down my face. I just have to get away from him.
"Bella what happened?" Alice is in her room. Probably waiting for me to tell her that Edward and I, are now a couple. But we aren't. She runs over and hugs me when she sees my face and the tears stuck to it and that only makes me cry harder. "Bella what happened? What's wrong?" I pull away from her and look back to the door only to see the girl wearing the black dress in impossibly high heels reflected back, my sadness turns to anger.
"What's wrong?" I turn to stare at her. "This is wrong!" I shout removing the shoes and the dress throwing them on the floor with unnecessary force. I pick up my sweat pants and baggy T-shirt and start to put them on. "That's not me. This is!" I say not lowering my voice and tying my hair in its everyday pony tail. "I'm one of the guys Alice. I'm not a girl," I grab a wet wipe and start wiping the makeup off, "and even if I try to be one I never will. Even if I like someone they won't ever like me back because I'm a friend to them and I always will be!" I open her door and slam it shut behind me and run out the door toward my truck. I slump down in my seat and rest my head against the steering wheel. The whole house probably heard me. Way to go Bella. I wipe off the remainder of the tears on my face and reach in my pocket for my keysand feel nothing there.
"Shit!" I have left them on Alice's dresser. Walking is out of the question because snow covers everything this time of the year in Forks. I will probably die of hypothermia after walking a mere four hundred meters. I stare at the front door that no one has come out off. Maybe they didn't hear me. I can sneak back into the house and grab my keys and get out before anyone notices. It is the only plan I have so far and I don't have time to think of another one. I slowly get out of my truck and make my way to the front door. Just as I am about to reach the handle I hear voices. Something makes me stop and listen, it is Edward's voice. I'm not a person that normally eavesdrops but hey I am mad at him and want to hear what he is saying.
"Edward you ass," it is Alice's voice, " you always keep telling me how much you like Bella and when she finally tells you she loves you say it's a joke!"
"What am I supposed to think? She comes out in that dress and say those things. It was so unexpected I…" Edward likes me? I blush as I smile.
"You need to fix this. Go after her." What! He's coming after me? Ok walking is now an option. I turn on my heel and start to walk away. I never make it a hundred meters before I hear the faint purr of Edwards Volvo behind me. Yes I know his car's sound it's not creepy. Yes it is.
"Bella?" he calls my name but I ignore him and keep on walking. I can hear the snow crunch under my boots and start to feel the cold bite the tips of my fingers, but I am not stopping for him. Let him suffer. Oh that's a good idea he will suffer in his heated car while you walk home freezing your ass off. Shut up. "Bella, please. It's freezing at least let me drive you home."
After about five more minutes of ignoring him I finally comply. I can't feel my fingers by the time I step into the seemingly toasty car. Ok I might have gotten into the car but that doesn't mean I'm going to talk to him. The ride home is filled with silence and the tension is so thick between us you can probably cut through it. He pulls up at my house and I get out without a single word. Charlie's car isn't in the drive way. He is probably over at Billy's. Keys! I just remember. Great where did Charlie put the emergency key again?
"Bella?" Edward is out the car and walking towards me. Snow has just started to fall softly and I see his breath in the air as he says my name. "Bella I just…" he runs his hand through his coppery hair. Something he always does when he is nervous.
"Just what Edward? " I can feel my anger start to boil within me again. A cold snow flake lands on the tip of my nose and I automatically wrap my arms around me.
"Here." Edward says and shrugs off his jacket.
"I don't want it. I would rather freeze." I stare at him defiantly. I will not take his jacket even if I really need it.
"You are so stubborn Bella, you know that?" He says, his voice starting to rise.
"Me, stubborn!" Ok I was but he has no right to say so.
"Yes, Bella you are. You never notice the things around you, you would never notice if someone even liked you because you are just so damn ignorant." He tries to keep his voice steady but I can see his eyes flash with anger. I can always tell what Edward was feeling and vice versa. I guess that's one of the reasons why I love him. But now I was angry.
"Well…I…I…just..." Come on Bella say something. I think. "Well… fuck you Edward!" That came out of nowhere, but it feels so good to say.
"What?" Oh no, now he's angry, but so am I.
"You heard me," I say crossing my arms. "Fuck you!" He makes an audible sound of annoyance as he runs both his hands through his hair in exasperation. I have never seen Edward so angry before. The closest I remember to him being this mad was when Mike Newton grabbed my ass and tried to force a kiss on me. Edward had come over and broke Mike's nose. But that was about a tenth of the anger Edward now possessed and I have to admit it made him look quite sexy. He turns to look at me, snow falling delicately on his hair like a halo. His anger is somewhat diminished now.
"Bella, ever since you moved here six years ago you are all I think about constantly. I dream about you." He raises his hands as if to run them through his hair but stops and shoves them in his pocket. I can tell this is difficult for him to say. "I liked you the first minute I saw you. You were different to every other girl, never afraid to be yourself. That's what I love most about you Bella. After being your friend for a year I knew I was in love with you but I was so nervous to tell you how I really felt about you because I thought you only wanted to be my friend. It has killed me for years now being so close to you and never being able to hold you and kiss you like I actually want to, having our friends always say what a great couple we would make, but I don't because to me I would rather go through all this pain everyday just to be next to you than never having you in my life at all." It is as if a bomb has exploded. Does Edward really feel that way? So many questions are racing through my mind, but I am still hurt.
"I put myself out there today Edward and what I feared most happened. If you loved me why have you never shown me? If you do love me then why don't you show me?" my voice has risen to a shout again. Tears are stinging the backs of my eyes.
"You want me to show you?" his voice has risen again too.
"Yes! But it doesn't matter anyway because…" the words died on my lips as Edwards's mouth crashes down onto mine. He kisses me with so much force and I return it. His lips are soft but hard as he kisses me hungrily as if he. It is like pure ecstasy traveling through every one of my nerves. His hands come up to my hair and he removes my hair band letting my hair fall down my back. He pulls away to look at me and we both breathe heavily.
"Never change anything about you. Except maybe let your hair down, it looks good on you like that." He breaths and leans down to kiss me softly tangling his hands in my hair.
"So, what happens now?" I ask him sitting on his car with his jacket around me. He looks at me and somehow I love him even more.
"Well," he says and hugs me closer to him, "I guess tomorrow I'll announce to the whole world that I have an amazing girlfriend." He puts his hands on either side of my face. "And you still are my best friend." He brings his face closer to mine and kisses me and I can't help but giggle as I kiss him back.
Well there it is, what do you think? I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please review. And happy holidays! :)