First Fanfic, Teen Titans, new villain, simple plot...

Ugh... I just decided to get Beast Boy wasted and see where it leads

Chapter 1 [ Titans Tower

"Sere'shh noo … whazzaw-BURRRP-rd? … Pro-hibishawn!" Beast Boy moaned, leaning over the huge couch, his face turned to Starfire – or more likely the air around her.

"Yes, Beast Boy, I believe there is!", one couldn't help but recognize the mildly annoyed tone in her voice indicating that her conversation with Beast Boy had lasted a while already.

"Jushd yoooo shaddapp and…", he slowly raised his right hand above his head and shook the beer can in it around, "… gemmeeh anothaw beeawr!"

Beast Boy was drunk – on alcohol.

And Starfire lacked experience in dealing with drunk babies that could transform into dinosaurs.

"I will NOT get you anymore of the 'beeawr'!", she shouted after a small pause, trying to stare 'Beer Boy" directly into the eyes.

"Instead, you should stop the drinking immediately, before Robin and the others return from their visiting Cyborgs parents."

Beast Boy shook his head and slacky as jello sunk into the couch, where he remained motionless. His babysitter carefully walked up to the couch and just as the drunk boy's head appeared in her sight, the beer can in his right hand did as well, dangerously close right before her nose.

"Shtaaaaaaaaaarfiweeeh.", Beast Boy babbled.

"Nnnnnnnnnnngrh…!" Starfire replied, her fists clenched and her body shivering with anger.

"Anathoo beeeeeeawrrrrh, puuwleaaaash?"

A ray of green light emitted from the furious girl's eyes, vaporizing the beer can in an instant and milling two holes into the tv-screen.

"GRAH! That – is – IT! I FORBID YOU TO DRINK ANY MORE OF THE BEER!"

Starfire lost her mind.

Beast Boy was still drunk – and too brain-displaced to realize that his babysitter was about to make a Tamaranian roasted Glurphnarhk out of him.

"Nishe holesh… an' whaddabowt mah beeeeeawrh?", Beast Boy asked in the most polite way he was still able to achieve. Unnecessary to say he sounded like your typical come-to-life centrifuge on a sinus-curved racetrack.

"Hey Star, we're – WHOA!", said Robin, now missing two hairs, "Careful with those beams!"

"Yeah, girl, what's the matter?", Cyborg intoned from behind the counter of the kitchen, "And what's with the smoke-screen?!". He referred to the holes Starfire blasted into the TV-screen that had started to fume.

Raven noticed the hole in her cape but kept a blank face and said, "This is why I keep my emotions at bay."

"HAEEEEH, doooooodes!"

"What the?", Robin.

"What the?", Cyborg.

"…", Raven put a small pile of books on the counter and started making herself some tea.

"Eeeep!", Starfire's glowing eyes went out, "I am sorry, friends, I didn't mean to scare you."

With a pitiful look, she pointed her face to Beast Boys direction and explained the issue at hand. When she ended, Robin and Cyborg had a lot of trouble, keeping their eyes inside their skulls.

Cyborg, who ended up using magnets, spoke first.

"So, we got ourselves a drunk BB, some joker out there who sells alcohol to the underaged, calling himself Oddmime, a singed TV-Screen, AND I'LL HAVE TO CLEAN THE DAMNED COUCH!?!?!"

"I'm sure Beast Boy will clean that up himself once he is sober again.", said Robin in his usual stoic calm tone.

"That is the problem, Robin. Beast Boy only drank that one single can of beer almost 6 hours ago.", Starfire explained, "But instead of dissipating the alcohol, he appears to have become worse by the hour."

"What?", Robin.

"What?", Raven.

"Awesome, self-replicating alcohol!", Cyborg.

"Wwuwhadd?", Beast Boy.

Robin, Raven and Starfire gave Cyborg the evil eye for praising a villain's work.

"Err, I mean… what?", Cyborg again, quickly restating his opinion.

"So, Starfire, any clues how to get to that … Oddmime?", Raven asked during a pause from sipping her tea.

"Eh… I seem to have destroyed the can."

"We'll just have to do this the old-fashioned way.", Robin was about to give one of his famous, episode-starting commands.

"Bllllehhharghl… beeeeeaawwwrh g-g-gaaaawn!", Beast Boy sobbed, heartbreakingly.

"God-dammit, Beast Boy, don't interrupt me…", Robin walked up to the couch and turned around to face his team of three remaining sober Titans, "… seek and destroy! Split up, maintain contact.

Titans, GO!"