Chapter 1
"Shawn, I think it would be in your best interest, to take a vacation" "Vince I'm fine why in the world would I need to take a vacation, I love my job." The excuse sounded weak to my own ears, and when I saw the frown making its way onto Vince's face, I knew he wasn't convinced. "Vince I don't want a…" I stopped talking there was no point in finishing the sentence, with the stern glare that Vince was sending my way from behind his desk, I knew he would have cut me off before I finished anyway, being around Vince so long, you pick up on some of his habits.
I knew that if I looked into his eyes, all I would see is disappointment and concern, and I just can't face that right now. To avoid his gaze, my eyes darted around the office that I have been in a million times before. It was neatly organized as always, no item out of place. Vince's wooden desk at the back of the room contrasted perfected with the black furniture placed in the middle of the room, surrounding a wooden coffee table.
Awe the furniture, it brings back memories of good times, times when my life wasn't crashing down around me. Times when me and Hunter would play the counting game, the object of the game was to see how many people you could catch in an intimate position on the couch, and the one who catches the most by the end of the month wins, usually I was the winner, him and Stephanie loved the couch.
The walls hung pictures of various well known wrestlers, while Vince's desk held only two pictures, I guess to make him more professional. One was a family picture of Vince, Linda, and the McMahon children, while the other was of all his grandchildren. Overall Vince's office had a sense of calmness and respect. Usually I enjoyed being in his office, but not now, or the past three months, there is not much I enjoy in life now.
A throat clearing woke me from my dazed state, my head snapping back in Vince's direction. I shot him a small sheepish grin before giving him my full attention again. "Shawn, you need this vacation, everyone can see that your head and heart is no longer in the ring" my noise of complaint went ignored, as Vince continued as if I had made no noise "you don't enjoy wresting anymore Shawn, it's like 1997 all over again…" "I'm not on drugs" I interrupted quickly, shaking my head frantically, I saw where Vince was heading in his thoughts, and I spoke to reassure him, no matter how low get, I will never take those pills again. There's no way in hell I'm going down that slippery slope ever again if I could help it.
Vince's eyes bore into mine, seemly looking for something, when he found it he nodded his head "I never believed you were on drugs again Shawn, you're not dumb, I trust you more than that" he spoke intently. Guilt filled my body, if only he knew, how truly dumb I am "You shouldn't" I murmured quietly, if he heard me he ignored my statement, and continued on with his first sentence before I had interrupted. "Shawn….It seems to me that you have once again lost your smile, and I can't in good conscience allow you to go out in the ring again till you have found it." "Well don't listen to your conscience" I interrupted once again, he couldn't take away wrestling, it was my one stable factor, the one thing that motivated me to get out of bed and I told him so.
"I'm sorry Shawn, I'm so very sorry, but I can't" his voice cracked a bit, guilt flooded into me once more, I know that in some ways Vince saw me as his second son, and this was hurting him just as bad as me. "Starting today I'm sending you on a mandatory leave, you are not allow to take one step in the ring, go spend some time with your parents, and loved ones Shawn"
Blank. Blank, that's all I felt. It was as if someone had pulled wool over my eyes, the last staple that was holding me down, had just been violently ripped away, sending me floating aimlessly through the atmosphere, with nothing to ground me, I know there's no hope for me. I'm lost. The strange thing is, I feel no pain, hope, joy, or even anger, I feet nothing. With no emotions stirring inside me I was left utterly blank, I stood slowly no longer seeing Vince, it was if he was no longer there, through I knew he was still sitting at his desk, I unsteadily made my way to the door. "I don't know if I can find it this time" I spoke quietly, unemotionally, my voice somehow echoing throughout the room, before I slipped through the door, leaving Vince stunned and slightly scared.