A/N: WARNING: Random crack up ahead!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters.

Denmark wasn't exactly a romantic type of person, but he supposed that he could try something new for a change. After all, he had somehow wound up choosing to take Romania out for a "romantic" dinner. He didn't even know WHAT exactly happened. Heck, he didn't even HAVE any romantic feelings towards the Romanian, although he thought he was a bit cute.

Now he was waiting for his partner to arrive at the fancy restaurant where they were going to have their "romantic" dinner. Denmark was dressed nicely for the occasion, and it didn't exactly make him feel comfortable. Romania was also getting a bit late, and Denmark supposed that Romania had decided to ditch the dinner. After all, they weren't exactly familiar with each other. It was almost a half hour after the appointed meeting time when the Romanian arrived. He was dressed in a nice suit, but Denmark could see that his tie was crooked and that he looked slightly disheveled. It kind of made him look kind of hot, actually.

"I-I'm sorry!" Romania spluttered as he ran up to the Dane. "I lost track of time and my schedule was pretty busy and-"

Denmark put his fingers onto Romania's lips, effectively cutting him off. "It's fine. I don't mind waiting." He flashed a grin at Romania. "I figured you arrive here sooner or later!"

A blush formed on Romania's cheeks, and he lightly pushed Denmark's hand away.

"Ahhhh... Uhm. Why exactly are we on this date again?" Romania asked, letting out an awkward chuckle.

Denmark shrugged. All he knew was that he was going with the flow. If anything, Romania should've been behind the date. It was rather weird, but Denmark decided to contemplate about it after the dinner.

"We can think about it later. Let's just get this dinner done and over with."

The restaurant was fancy as hell. Not to mention quiet. There was the soft music of a harp playing in the background, and the clinking of silverware. No one spoke to each other, and Denmark found it slightly discomforting. He figured he could just skip dessert and leave out of the place. It was too awkward for him.

Romania seemed like he didn't think anything of it, but his usual bright eyes had darkened slightly with boredom.

An itching thought was screaming at the back of Denmark's head: "THIS IS SO LOGIC THAT BROKEN IS BRAIN." And he couldn't agree more.

Seriously. How the hell did he end up getting in a date with Romania in the first place? What compelled them to go? Denmark, being the idiot he was, decided to shatter the fourth wall and think, "Fanfiction logic. Plus, the author is not right in the head."

So true, so true.

It seemed like the dinner had dragged on for HOURS, even though they had been in the damn restaurant for a total of five minutes, and they hadn't even ordered their food yet.

Shit.

Denmark sweated nervously as he eyed his menu. Right. He had to order something instead of sitting around. (What the hell was he even doing during those five minutes?!)

He then suddenly realized why he didn't order anything. The menu looked confusing and it hardly made sense. There was no price listed on it, and no pictures either. Not to mention that the names sounded confusing. What the hell was 'Fgsusg', exactly?! That looked like a random keyboard smash. And it most probably was.

Denmark was afraid he'd lose all his brain cells from the lack of logic. He glanced over at Romania, who was looking through the menu as if it was nothing.

Denmark looked back at his menu. His palms were getting sweaty. The names of the keyboard-smashed words were glaring at him. He gulped, and glanced around nervously. Good. No waiters in sight. Another five minutes passed, and he heard a soft voice come from the other end of the table. "Did you choose anything yet?"

Denmark looked up. Romania had a closed menu in front of him laid on the table, and his hands were folded in a gentlemanly way. He was done ordering.

Shiiiiitttt. Denmark laid the menu down. That's it. He quit. "I'll just have what you're having." He wasn't the type to copy someone, but Romania probably knew more shit than he knew, after all, he did seem pretty calm the whole time.

Romania nodded. "Seems fair enough." He called over a waiter and began to order their food, and then sent the waiter off.

The next twenty minutes was pure torture. Denmark felt so stiff sitting still. He also couldn't stand not making a sound. Being loud was his specialty. He actually considered putting the tablecloth in his mouth to see what it tasted like. No, seriously.

But FINALLY, after what seemed like twenty fucking HOURS, the food arrived. It honestly didn't look or smell bad, and when Denmark tried a little bit of the mystery food, it tasted delicious.

...But then again, with all this shit going around, it could've been human meat.

And with that thought, Denmark refused to touch his food. Romania probably had the same thought cross his mind too, and he left his food untouched too.

A few more minutes of awkward silence passed, until...

CRASH!

Everyone in the restaurant turned towards the source of the noise. Someone had broken through one of the windows and crawled through, EVEN THOUGH THE DOOR WAS A FEW GOD DAMN METERS AWAY. Holy shit.

Denmark recognized the person at once, and Romania did too. The person silently walked up to their table.

Norway.

"Pray tell me what the FUCK is going on," the Norwegian growled.

Romania shrugged. "I don't know, really. Nothing's making sense anymore."

Denmark nodded in agreement.

There was a pregnant pause in the air.

Then Norway grabbed a corner of the tablecloth at their table, and yanked the god damned thing off of the table, making a big mess in the process. Denmark and Romania managed to back away and avoid getting a mess on themselves.

"Fuck. Everything," he hissed. He then proceeded to flip the table over like an epic boss.

"...Someone's on their period," Denmark heard Romania mutter under his breath.

Denmark couldn't agree less.

Norway glared at the both of them, his emotions very clear in his eyes. It was a mix of anger, sadness, frustration, and was that... Jealousy?

No way. Norway... Was showing emotions?! HOW. And he was... Jealous? Was that why Norway was angry? Then wait. Who the hell was Norway jealous of? Denmark was so confused. Nothing made sense right now. NOTHING.

Then, Romania opened his mouth to speak. "...Threesome?"

Norway narrowed his eyes at the Romanian. He seemed to think over it for a little while before nodding his head in agreement. "Seems plausible to me."

Denmark's brain broke, and before he knew it, he was dragged by a Norwegian and a Romanian out of the restaurant, and into a nearby hotel.

HOLY FUCK.

Waking up first thing in the morning with a boot in the face was not a good way to start the day. Denmark let out a groan.

"Yo, Matthias. Get the fuck off of my bed." The boot was pressed harder onto his face.

God, his head hurt. Denmark swatted the boot away and slowly opened his eyes to see a familiar person looming over him.

"Ned...?" Denmark asked groggily. "What are you doing here?"

Netherlands snorted and crossed his arms. "Funny that you should be asking that, Den. After all, you're in my house. IN MY BED."

Denmark jolted up in the bed. All the memories of the previous night came back to him.

"Hey, Ned! What d'ya think 'bout gettin' drunk and high?"

"Pfft. I don't care. Let's do this shit."

Denmark groaned. Never again. "Why... Why did we just... do that?!" He sighed, and buried his face in his hands.

"Because reasons. Now get the fuck off of my bed."

Denmark was promptly kicked out of the house. He learned a valuable lesson that day.

Don't get high and drunk right before you go to bed.

A/N: What did I just write. O_e Erm. I just made this thing in one go, so... If there's any mistakes, please tell me! x3x