Disclaimer: I didn't own the casts. All of them belong to Bisco Hatori. And this story based on a song, Taylor Swift's song. Happy reading and sorry for bad grammars, don't forget to give me your review! ^^
Loving her is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street
Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly
Loving her is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall
Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all
It has been 8 years after the high school ended and I can't remember when was the last time I feel this empty. Well, it happens again now. After all this time, I tried to deny that she is still bothers me. No, not in that kind of bother. She is still haunts me, she still holds the most of my thoughts.
This is wrong, I know it very well. But I just cannot stop this, I've tried my best, I swear.
Fujioka Haruhi.
When Haruhi came for the first time to that room, I knew she was a girl. Those idiots were just too blind to realize how girly she was. They were too excited because of her background, she was nothing but a commoner. And I also knew that Tamaki was falling in love with her even before he knew that the fact she was a girl. While, I could easily tell it by her hands and shoulders that she was a girl.
As time passed, at first it was hard to admit it. I, Kyoya Ootori wasn't the one who show my emotions. For me emotions are complicated, so I have to show it less more. But this is what makes me respect her. Yes, at once I was just respecting her. She was a blunt person, in fact she still is. But because of her bluntness, without realizing it.. it brought my emotions came out. We got closer by times and it turned out to friendship. From my perspective the definition of friendship is... a type of thing that lead to something special and I'll try to help my friend whatever it takes –it kind of that type. At once I only cared for Tamaki, he was the very first person I assumed as my friend, best friend I supposed. But since she was came, we were all changing. She taught us about life, sadness, caring, loving also losing.
And that day came when I started feeling weird happiness when it came to her, it made me somehow happy while i saw her frowned because of what I said or did. It made me want to see her again and again if we spent our holiday separately. It was wrong because I shouldn't have felt that way when I knew that Tamaki was madly in love with her.
I realized i have to stop this, but I can't help but start caring to her in differently way. Like once we were ended up on my bed. I lied when I said I didn't worry, I worried as hell. I hid it while playing as a villain. Wasn't I a good actor? Like I said before, emotions are complicated. And I was stucked in it.
But here again, my very first broken heart came, I realized I have to move on after I saw that her concern of Tamaki, I knew it at one glance, she loved him.
Losing her was blue like I'd never known
Missing her was dark grey all alone
Forgetting her was like trying to know somebody you never met
But loving her was red
Loving her was red
This time I walk into the room, she's there inside waiting for me. She texted me awhile ago that she needed someone so let me be that someone for awhile. I arrived in front of the room, my heart beat so fast, but I can't make her wait much longer so I open the door. And she directly look into my direction.
I missed her. She is right in front of me but I can't ever hold her the way I imagine. She shows me her smile, and come again, I feel many butterflies in my stomach. Damn feelings.
"You look great, Haruhi." I eventually say it, she chuckles. "Wow, This is the first time you give me a compliment, Kyoya-senpai." She replied while her hand tap the space beside her, asking me to come and sit next to her. I didn't reply her but take a seat as she wanted.
"I haven't been your senpai for years, you can call me Kyoya."
She didn't mind my words, and she mumbles to something while I look at her as telling her –what are you saying. "Nothing, Kyoya. I just can't believe that this day finally come." She says it quietly.
"You are suppose to be happy, then what's with that aura?" I ask her, observing her. "Aren't you happy, Haruhi?"
She looks at me and smile, "I am happy, I just thinking about my mother."
I tap her shoulder, "She must be proud of you. Like I am."
"Why are you proud of me?"
"Because finally someone will take care of Tamaki, so he'd bother me no more." I say it casually and she laughs.
Okay now.. I know I haven't admitted it before but now.. I admit that I haven't moved on the way I supposed to do.
I love her. I'm still in love with her.
Seeing her smile, her laugh, makes me feel so happy yet sad. And I know it's wrong for me to still glueing into this feeling. I didn't move on yet. Silly, I know. I'm stupid for holding on onto this feeling while knowing that she will be my best friend's bride in few minutes.
Touching her was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you
Memorizing her was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song
Fighting with her was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer
Regretting her was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong
"Yahoo! Congrats Tono!" I heard the twins congrate them, and Tamaki laughed showing his happiness to the world as he grabs Haruhi's waist closer and she smiles.
"Tama-chan, Haru-chan, Takashi and I bought you some toys for your future kid!" Honey jump around them and Haruhi says something I cannot hear it clearly.
I feel the temperature around me become cold, or am I the only one who feel it?
"Kyoya!" Tamaki call me and tap my shoulder, and I immediately look toward him, he smiles and hug me all of sudden. I wasn't aware of what happened a moment ago but after he hug me, all of them come to join us.
"Okay, stop. Enough, guys." I say but I can feel her hand is on my hand, hold it gently. "Why are you guys hugging me? I wasn't the groom one, we shall hug the groom and the bride, you know?"
They just laugh and release the hug. Then the party starts. The twins and Tamaki talk to some guests while Honey and Mori are busy with food. I take it as a chance to have fresh air so I choose to take a walk.
As I walk to find some place, I heard someone walk next to me.
"Why are you spacing out?"
I take a glance, she walks beside me. "Why are you with me?"
"Hmm, because you're alone. Is the party make you bored, Kyoya?" I shake my head and we stop on the balcony.
"Haruhi," I call her name, and she look at me.
"Yes?" She say, still looking at me while I keep looking to the front.
"Please be happy." I say it. "Be happy with someone you love."
She smiles, I know it.
"I will, Kyoya. You too as well." She say it as she take my hand. "Whoa, are you okay? Why your hand feel so cold?" She asks, I look at her in shock but of course I hide it. I let her hold it, I.. I've been wanting it.
"Do you remember our cat-dog fights moments, Kyoya?" She asks as she wander to the past and I nodded. "I do. We often argue with some rich bastard and commoner thingy."
She laughs heartly, her eyes close and her left hand covering her mouth and I smile to that view I see. God.. I'd give anything just to see her like this everyday and I am the reason behind her smile or laugh.
Without realizing anything I pull her into my arms. Place her head on my chest and I scent her shampoo mix the hair spray she used. She hugs me back while patting my back softly.
"I don't know what happen to you but I guarantee you'll be okay, Kyoya." She whispers softly and I laugh. "I'm perfectly fine, Haruhi." I say it as I release the hug, I wouldn't let anyone see it. It would make any trouble so I won't let it.
Losing her was blue like I'd never known
Missing her was dark grey all alone
Forgetting her was like trying to know somebody you never met
But loving her was red
Loving her was red
I lost her. I knew I've lost her from the start and yes it hurts.
The wedding day has ended awhile ago and I've completely lost her without even join the battle because I am a coward.
We all walk the groom and the bride to the limo, they smile and wave to us. And I'm trying so hard not to show any emotions.
I know I have a ton of reasons to forget her before but I failed on it but today and so on, the reason to forget her is literally an obligation. She married to the man she loved and importantly that man is my best friend. She's now taken to him forever along with their vows to God.
I know it would be hard to forget her, forget the feeling I have. But I have to, for my happiness.
Remembering her comes in flashbacks and echoes
Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go
But moving on from her is impossible
When I still see it all in my head
Red
Loving her was red
I know there will be times when the flashback of her come to me but I gotta leave, leave the feeling behind.
And by this, my first love story and my first broken heart story has come to the end.