Dear Reader,
Congratulations! And thank you for your purchase of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Feudal Era.
You may have noticed the large friendly block letters spelling out "DON'T PANIC" on both covers of this book. This is for a very good reason. With The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Feudal Era you will have no cause to fear demons, lechers or angry hanyous (unfortunate creatures who are half human and half demon but find themselves curiously torn between the two halves of their genetic make up. For more information on "HANYOU" please turn to page 63 or flip to our helpful Index). This unique guide will supply you, the reader, with useful and potentially life saving information to help you out of any sticky situations you may find yourself in.
This wholly remarkable book, loosely based around other equally helpful books of its kind (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Computers for Dummies, The Complete Idiot's Guide to History), has been designed to ensure that your stay in the past is as comfortable and fun-filled as possible. We should caution you however, that any trip through time is not without some risk of danger or bodily harm. That being said, if you read this guide from cover to cover and commit its words of advice to memory you will soon find yourself comfortably stretched out beneath a shady tree enjoying the blissful peace of pre-industrial Japan.
While there are numerous other guides you can choose from – we hear Lonely Planet and Discovery have impecable books of their own with lots of pretty pictures – you have made the right decision in purchasing this particular guide. We do not offer glossy pages filled with brightly coloured photographs. This makes our guide not only easier to read and smaller, but also, and most importantly, significantly more affordable. While in the feudal era, you can smile with satisfaction at the other tourists knowing that you have a superior guide tucked into your back pocket that you paid a good deal less for.
We realize you may want to get right down to business so please, turn the page and begin your journey. For those of you who may be confused as to how you ended up in the feudal era to begin with, I would strongly recommend browsing Chapter Three: Wells, Beads and Other Magical Periphanalia. There is a good deal of information there to help you figure out the fastest and easiest way of returning to the correct time.
Should you run into any problems on your journey, please feel free to contact us at the website below. Though we should probably mention that if you are already in the feudal era you may as well hunker down and try to figure it out for yourself. Due to technological constraints, our Customer Service Department will be unable to respond to your inquiries for at least half a millenium. Should you live that long, please send us an email and we will ensure a prompt response.
Thank you again, and best of luck!
Sincerely,
The Editor-in-Chief,
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Feudal Era
(There was a website address here but FanFiction removed it. Sorry!)