Sorta Cinderella
Once there was a young martial artist named Krillin, who was strong, surprisingly decent considering who he trained under, and kind. Not to mention the fact that, while not handsome in the most traditional sense, many of the local girls would be swift to agree that he was absolutely as cute as a button. So basically he was one of those guys who should have been off the market for years at his age.
Unfortunately, Krillin's master was a lecherous old man named Muten Roshi, who was also rather well-known in the neighborhood, and whose reputation rather ruined any chances Krillin had of meeting a nice girl and settling down. Thus it was with a heavy heart that Krillin resigned himself to the prospect of remaining a single student forever, for Roshi had decreed Krillin's training would not be complete until he could successfully find himself a girlfriend. What this had to do with martial arts, no one was quite sure, but when you're over three hundred years old and can destroy a mountain by mistake, people tend to try and roll with your eccentricities rather than talk you out of them.
And thus would have been the tale of Krillin's life, had not an announcement come throughout the land that one of the lesser royal houses was having a ball, in honour of its twin children's twentieth birthday, with all eligible young people invited to attend, as the male twin, Lapis, was generally more interested in having fun than in the specific social standing of the people he intermingled with. For this reason as well, it was decided that this was to be a costume ball, with everyone in disguise.
When he first got his invitation, Krillin rejoiced, for this could be a chance to meet someone nice without his master's reputation ruining his chances before he could say two words! However his spirits sank again when he realized that it was only being held a few days hence – the eve before his Master's monthly dawn-rise training day (good for mind and soul, torture for anyone who had stayed up late the previous night). Never mind the fact that he had nothing to use for a costume.
Thus it was in deepest gloom that Krillin's friends Yamcha and Goku found him on the evening of the ball, barely paying attention to the world around him as he went through his basic forms.
"Hello, Krillin," Yamcha greeted him, "Why aren't you getting ready for the ball? I thought for sure you would be going."
"I can't," Krillin sighed, "I have dawn training tomorrow – there's no way I'll be able to make it to the Lazurite Palace and back in time to get enough sleep."
"You can if you borrow my magic cloud," Goku offered cheerfully, for he was a good friend and that was also just the kind of world they lived in, "If you use it and leave by midnight, you'll be able to get back in time to get just enough sleep for training tomorrow!"
"That might work," Krillin brightened momentarily, then frowned, "I'm not sure they'd let me in, though – it's a costume ball, and it's too late for me to find a costume."
"I can help with that," Yamcha announced with a grin, "I can cast a spell that'll make you a really good temporary costume!"
"…since when do you know magic?" Krillin asked, confused, for as far as he knew Yamcha was a simple martial artist, the same as he was.
His friend shrugged, somewhat gloomily. "I've had a lot of free time on my hands since my girlfriend broke up with me."
"Ah." Both Krillin and Goku nodded wisely, well-familiar with Yamcha's tumultuous relationship with his girlfriend.
"Well, okay then," Krillin agreed after a moment's consideration, "Might as well give it a try!"
So Goku summoned his magic cloud and Yamcha cast his spell, transforming Krillin's gi into an exquisite golden-white gown.
"Um, Yamcha? It's pretty, but maybe a tuxedo or something would work better…?"
"I was trying for a tux, and that was the result," Yamcha replied sheepishly, "I'm still pretty new at this. You want me to try again?"
Krillin wisely decided to say yes to the dress.
"Besides," Goku offered, in an attempt to cheer him up, "At least this way no one will notice that you don't have a mask!"
Krillin conceded that this was probably true and, hey, his reputation couldn't get any worse than it already was as a result of who his teacher was anyway. So he hopped on the cloud, which, to his quiet relief, held his weight in exactly the way it hadn't the last time he'd tried riding it.
"Just remember to leave by midnight," Goku reminded him before he left, "Otherwise you'll be dead on your feet tomorrow."
Krillin nodded to show he'd heard, then waved good-bye as the magic cloud flew off into the night, off towards the ball.
The party was already in full swing when he got there, which was honestly a bit of a relief, as Krillin was still feeling a little self-conscious about his 'costume' and was hoping to make a quiet entrance. This hope lasted the exact fifteen point three seconds it took for the doorman to accept Krillin's invitation, turn around, and announce, "Mysterious Princess" to the entire room by way of introduction (names being left unsaid, as that would rather have defeated the point of wearing a costume), and leaving Krillin to make his mortified way down to the throng, with what felt like ample time to wonder what sort of people designed a house with a grand stairway leading straight down from the front door.
Fortunately, when he reached the bottom of the stairs, he was quickly pulled aside by a trim young woman dressed in silver, with blonde hair and a cool demeanor.
"I would have thought," she said, "That anyone who arrived in an outfit like that would want to be the center of attention. So how come you look so miserable?"
"The outfit wasn't actually my idea," Krillin admitted, blushing, "It wasn't anyone's idea, actually – you see, my friend Yamcha's learning magic, and-"
"Say no more," the woman interrupted, "I know that look – my brother went through a 'learning magic' stage, too."
"And it went badly?" Krillin offered.
The woman shrugged. "We're fraternal twins – a fact that used to be obvious. I'm just glad he ended up looking like me instead of the other way around."
Krillin was unsure quite how to respond to this, so instead inquired as to why the woman had been standing off to the side in the first place, while also managing to convey that he was most grateful she had been and also for her willingness to drag him over with her as well. This question led to another and, before either of them quite realized it, developed into a full-blown pleasant conversation, complete with bad jokes and reasonably witty banter.
In fact, Krillin became so lost in conversation with his rescuer that he completely lost track of the time until the clock began to strike and he realized, to his utter shock, that it was midnight.
"I'm so sorry," he said, gathering his skirts up as he prepared to sprint for it, "But I really have to go."
"What, already?" the woman frowned in confusion, following as he started to move, "But the ball's supposed to go until three. And I thought you were having fun."
"I am having fun," Krillin reassured her, "I'd really like to see you again sometime, it's been so fun!"
"Then why not stay?"
"Because I have to get up in the morning!" Krillin wailed, booking it before she could ask why and he had to explain who his master was, because that was really more second date material, in the hopes that it got that far. The door was unfortunately a bit too far away to get to easily, not to mention flanked by doormen whose job it was to stop guests leaving in a hurry (in the event that said hurry was caused by pockets full of the family's good silver), so Krillin dove for a window instead because, hey, when you've got a magical flying cloud for the night you might as well make an exit. Thus the guests of the ball were left with the rather striking image of a bald princess surfing off into the night on a golden cloud, his skirts billowing behind him, too fast for any horse to catch.
The next morning found Krillin feeling rather dead on his feet after all, a result common to those who forgot that Goku tended to forget that he needed less sleep than most people, and thus took him at his word as to when would be a reasonable time to go to bed before dawn training. To make matters worse, Yamcha's spell, while somewhat mistaken in its results, had had plenty of power behind it, meaning Krillin's gi had remained a gown all through the night, on into the morning, and was, as far as anyone could tell, planning on continuing this trend indefinitely. Which in and of itself would not have been such a problem, since Krillin owned more than one gi, had the magical gown not also been proving somewhat impossible to remove.
"It was supposed to change back a bit after midnight," Yamcha was saying for the fifth time that day as he leafed through his spell book while Goku and Krillin fought a losing battle against the dress.
Krillin glowered at him, dark circles under his eyes from a long night followed by a training workout that had been even more grueling than normal thanks to the addition of far too much silk tulle. "Yamcha, if I'm stuck in this thing forever, I'm going to kill you."
The aspiring magician swallowed nervously. "That seems a little harsh, man."
"Fine," Krillin conceded, "Then shave your head instead."
"Death it is," Yamcha declared just as a carriage bearing the royal arms of the Lazurite family pulled up outside Roshi's dojo.
"Oh good," announced the blonde woman Krillin had been talking to the previous night as she stuck her head out of one of the windows, "You're here. Well, that was easy." Opening the door, she alighted from the carriage before the footman could come around to assist her. "I would have searched the kingdom if I'd had to, but this is much more convenient."
"How did you find me so quickly?" Krillin asked, shock, exhaustion, and an excess of lace temporarily overcoming his usual good manners, "I realized when I got home that I forgot to give you my name."
"Because, tempting though it was to do otherwise, it's considered more polite to stare at a princess's face than their chest," the woman said firmly, "And I should know – I am one. Also, the description 'he's under five feet and doesn't have a nose' tends to narrow the field a lot. And I wanted to spend more time talking to you, so here we are. I'm Princess Lazuli of the house Lazurite, by the way – I realized I forgot to mention my name as well."
"Krillin," Krillin replied, essaying a somewhat wobbly bow, "And, um… I don't suppose you know anything about dealing with magic dresses, do you?"
"Ah-ha!" Yamcha interrupted before she could reply, hurrying over, his spell book in hand, "It says here that sometimes using an enchanted sword to cut a bespelled article of clothing can be enough to get it off in cases like this one! So we just need to find a sword with a more powerful enchantment on it than my spell, and you'll be fine!"
"Why not just find a normal sword and enchant it yourself?" Goku suggested from where he had been taking a break from trying to help Krilin escape what was once his gi.
"Because enchanting swords is much more difficult magic than enchanting clothes," Yamcha replied, "And frankly I'm a little scared to, seeing how this turned out."
"I've heard of a knight a few kingdoms over who's said to have an enchanted sword," Princess Lazuli spoke up, a considering expression on her face, "Perhaps you could use that one."
"I don't know," Yamcha rubbed his chin, "I'm kinda strong at spellcasting, even if I've not very good at it yet. How powerful is the enchantment on that sword supposed to be?"
"Pretty darn."
"Sounds good enough for me," Krillin piped up, then glanced at Lazuli, "So, um… it's a quest?"
"Yes," she agreed, "That sounds quite nice."
And thus the four of them embarked on the quest to find a magic sword powerful enough to free Krillin from his enchanted gown, which turned out to be rather more complicated than initially expected due the unforeseen involvement of a dragon, several dozen bandits, and a demonic overlord wanna-be, and by the end of it all Krillin and Lazuli had grown so fond of each other that really the only thing for it was to get married and live happily ever after. So they did.
The End
OoOoOoOoO
Title from Fruits Basket, from a play of the same title
Written at five am after being up most of the night, this comes from a combination of K18 feels, the dire need to have Yamcha say those lines, and the mental image of Krillin in a fluffy ball gown, all in conjunction with watching several Cinderella retellings.