I own nothing except a heart that loves Common Law and an imagination.
"I don't think that's how you do it, man."
Travis Marks supplied with an air of indifference and annoyance from his crouched position beside Wes while they both stared at the heat and air condition system at Wes' house that sat underneath his bedroom window outside.
"Oh yeah? And what makes you qualified to make that statement? Your years of experience in heat and air repairs? Or the knowledge you gained from the owner's manual I asked you to read that you are using as a fan instead?" Wes shot back through grunts while he tried to remove what clearly looked like the broken part of the system, but it was more of an observer's guess.
"If you don't think I'm qualified enough, why'd you call me over here in the first place? And this owner's manual is for the owner to read. The owner is you, not me. Besides, it is like a hundred degrees out here and I'm not going to have a heat stroke in the ironic situation that we're trying to fix your broken heat and air system."
Wes rolled his eyes and let out a puff of air through his nose while he sat back in frustration and wiped at the abundance of sweat that gathered on his forehead with the back of his hand. He glared up at Travis so he wouldn't have to reply verbally, but when he saw Travis standing behind him in the shade of a nearby tree without a hint of perspiration, fanning himself with the damned owner's manual and sipping ice cold water with a tiny umbrella sticking out of the side of the glass, he felt words forming in his mouth. Luckily, Wes still managed to have some self control before the string of curses that would more than likely result in his nosey neighbors poking their heads over the fence, came out. He took a deep breath and then stood up while wiping his hands on a discarded rag.
Travis smiled at him and tipped his glass. "Would like some water?" His partner asked while going ahead and pouring a glass. Wes walked over to the shaded area to claim the cool liquid just as Travis dramatically placed a tiny umbrella in it. Wes took the glass with a shrug of his shoulders while shaking his head. He held the glass out as he studied it. "Where'd you even get these umbrellas?"
"Really? That's what you have to say? Not, oh hey, thanks, Travis, for this cold glass of water? You have to criticize it. Figures. You know this is exactly why we go to therapy. This right here." Travis shook his head before taking a big sip of water. He looked back to Wes who still stared at him with a questioning eyebrow raised. Travis sighed. "I got them from Mrs. Plemming. Your next door neighbor."
Wes had started drinking from the glass while Travis answered his question and when his partner had revealed the place, the person rather, that he'd got them from, Wes choked on the water. He coughed and spluttered water until he was able to breath somewhat normally again and glared at Travis for the umpteenth time that day and it was even noon yet. "Mrs. Plemming?"
"Yeah. So?"
"So? So, Mrs. Plemming has had it in for me ever since I moved here."
Travis just laughed.
"I'm serious. You just wait. I guarantee that in the next hour or so, her little round, gray haired head will pop over that fence and she'll be harassing me about those damn trashcans or her cat in a roundabout way."
"A roundabout way?" Travis asked between laughs.
"Yes, she doesn't just outright and say that I'm being an ass about her trashcans on my side of the property at the end of the driveway or that I'm disrespecting her cat that comes over here and messes up my backyard. But it's implied and each time her head comes over that fence I'm the one that's always apologizing and doing something for her. There's no way she gave you those umbrellas without a string attached somewhere. She's got you too!"
"Oh man!" Travis leaned back while laughing harder. "She's got me! Oh, she's got me!" He mocked while making what appeared to be frantic jazz hands, before busting out in laughter again.
"Laugh it up, Travis. But when she's got you in a cage in her house like the old witch from Hansel and Gretel, I won't come and save you."
"Oh, Gretel, won't you come and save me? I don't want to be eaten by the mean, scary neighbor!" Travis dramatically played out, while Wes just glared at him, trying his hardest not to crack a smile.
It wasn't until the broken heat and air system popped really loud, making its issues known, that they were reminded about their job at hand and why they were really fixing it in the first place.
Travis never thought that seeing Wes flinch at the sound of a broken heat and air system would make him feel bad, but it did.
Three Days Ago
Wes made it home by two hours passed midnight, but instead of dropping right off into bed like any sane person would, Wes went to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine. He was in the process if reaching up into the cabinet and pulling out a wine glass when his heat and air system started popping like it had been doing for the past two days. It wasn't until now that it became more than a nuisance. Wes' body jerked at the sound causing wine glasses to spill out of the cabinet and dive to the floor just to shatter in a million pieces. Wes hit the floor with the same velocity as the wine glasses and covered his ears. For a split second, he crouched down behind the counter and reached for his weapon, before realizing where he was and recognizing the popping sound as his heat and air system rather than the gunfire he thought it was moments ago.
He stood up and took a deep breath. Three shattered wine glasses and not a drop of wine littered his floor. He sank back down to the floor and leaned against the counter.
"You have to unscrew it, Travis." Wes stated from where he crouched beside Travis who was taking his turn at trying to fix the system after several failed attempts from Wes. His partners turned to look at him with a cocky grin splitting his face.
"Travis Marks never unscrews anything."
Wes squeezed his eyes shut at the perverted joke and shook his head to physically get rid of the thought, before shooting back, "Oh really? What about Haley from the file room? Or is it Hal?"
"Hey, Haley... was a fine looking woman on the outside, you know, it's just sometimes you really, really can't judge a book by its cover, okay?"
"Was she a book, Travis, or a Men's Health Magazine?"
"Okay, do you want to fix this or not?"
"Yes." Wes immediately replied. "Yes, please continue."
Travis nodded and went back to fixing.
2 Days Ago
Wes had been asleep for what was now considered a respectable hour, when his heat and air popped. He sat bolt upright in bed and immediately reached for his gun in the nightstand drawer, but he moved so fast he hit the nightstand, making it wobble and caused the lamp to fall off with a thud and a crack. It took a few moments for Wes to calm down enough to get up and turn the ceiling light on to see what damage his frayed nerves had done this time.
He added one broken lamp to three shattered wine glasses and went back to bed.
"Oh Wes, dear! And Travis!"
Both Wes and Travis stopped dead in their tracks. Neither man dared to move as they stared straight into the heat and air system.
"See. I told you." Wes muttered out of the side of his mouth.
"She...she could want anything." Travis muttered back with diminishing optimism.
They both turned their heads around to look at the fence. Mrs. Plemming's head was just above the top of it and she was waving at them. One look at her face told them both that Wes was right.
They dropped the screwdriver, wrench and owner's manual that was used more for a fan than anything and stood up to turn around to their fate.
"Oh good, you heard me! I know you boys are working hard, but Sonny needs help!" She called.
"Is Sonny her husband?" Travis asked, stepping forward until Wes' hand shot across his arm to stop his.
"Sonny is her cat." Wes whispered so Mrs. Plemming wouldn't hear their conversation.
"Who names their cat Sonny?"
"She named it Sonny after Sonny from the TV show Miami Vice. She knows I hate that show. She reminds me everyday."
"Sonny is my cat." She yelled from the fence. "I named him Sonny after the TV show Miami Vice. Wes hates that show. Did you know that Travis?"
Travis couldn't help but laugh. "Why no! No, I didn't." He replied as if it were the truth while looking at Wes with devious grin.
"Travis." Wes warned, but Travis was already walking towards the fence. "Travis. I'm serious. Don't."
"Mrs. Plemming how can we help you...or Sonny?" Travis asked, turning on his charm.
"Actually, Wes can continue to do whatever loud racket causing thing he's doing, but you could help."
Travis turned back to Wes with a foreign look of "You were right. I should've listened. Get me out of this.", before turning back to Mrs. Plemming. "What can I do?"
Wes peeked over the fence, trying to stay out of sight, while spying on Mrs. Plemming and Travis. He tried to hold back his laughter as he spotted Travis kneeling down on the ground while trying to brush a fiercely attacking cat.
"Oh, Travis, he doesn't like to be brushed that way. You have to brush him the opposite way." Mrs. Plemming called from her chair on the patio. He saw Travis mutter something that he hoped for his partner's sake that the old lady didn't hear, before ducking back down behind the fence before he was spotted.
Wes was sitting down under the tree, sipping a nice cold glass of water when Travis came back from next door. "Hey Travis! I gotta say, these tiny umbrellas Mrs. Plemming gave you, really do add to this amazing glass of water."
"Shut up." Travis muttered sitting down next to him.
Wes glanced over Travis and noticed what looked like a million and one scratches. "What's the matter Travis? Not your kind of 'cat fight' ?"
Travis just shook his head, biting his lip to keep from laughing.
Yesterday
Wes was walking to the living room ready to sit down and watch the news when the loud popping started up again. He jumped and smacked his elbow against the threshold of the doorframe to the living room. He cursed and rubbed the bruising spot while leaning against the wall and sighing.
He added a bruised elbow to the shattered glasses and broken lamp and picked up the phone.
After three rings, he heard the person answer, "Yeah?"
"Can you come and help me fix my heat and air system tomorrow?"
"There! I think it's fixed!" Travis yelled triumphantly.
"Are you sure?"
Travis let his shoulders fall. "Why can't you just accept the fact that I fixed it?"
"You fixed it?" Wes asked. "No. We fixed it."
"Whatever." Travis walked back over the shade and sat down with an exhausted sigh. "You know, we are going to have to talk about this with Dr. Ryan."
Wes sat down beside him, knowing full well that Travis didn't exactly mean fixing the heat and air. "Yeah, I guess."
"Or...I mean, we don't have to...if it's fixed."
Wes looked back to his nicely running heat and air system then back at Travis. "I think I'm good."
"You sure? Because that shootout a couple of days ago was pretty bad, so I mean this," Travis motioned towards the air condition unit. "is understandable. So if you need something...I mean if you want..."
"Thanks, Travis. I'm good though." Wes replied and when he saw Travis' doubtful look, he added, "Seriously. And I promise not to mention to Dr. Ryan and the rest of the group about your little cat fight and how I was right about Mrs. Plemming as long as you swear you'll let me take some of the credit of fixing the air condition."
Travis laughed and slung his arm around Wes' shoulders. "I guess I can settle for that deal. After all, Mrs. Plemming is expecting you for dinner."
Wes froze. "You didn't."
"I did." Travis grinned. He tightened his arm around Wes' shoulders. "But lucky for you, there's an invite for yours truly. But it'll cost you."
"And what's that?"
"Get Haley to quit trying to talk to me."
"What? You never broke things off?"
"Well...she...I just couldn't be mean."
"Oh so I can?"
Travis smirked and nodded. "And one more thing."
"Oh God, what?"
"Next time something's messed up up here." He ruffled Wes' hair to annoy him and indicate the man's head. "Call me before you break three wine glass, one lamp, injure yourself and cause me to have to bathe and brush Sonny in front of Mrs. Plemming."
Wes shoved Travis away from him after the man ruffled his hair, but laughed. "Sure."
"Oh, hey one more thing."
"Travis." Wes warned.
"Were you serious about not coming to save me if Mrs. Plemming decided to put me in a cage in her kitchen like the witch from Hansel and Gretel?"
Wes grinned. "I guess we will find out at dinner tonight, won't we Hansel?"
AN: A random one-shot that came to me. Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think!