*Edited on 10/17/12

A/N: Warning: Complete and Utter Nonsense Ahead!

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or Doctor Who


Not Your Average Hunting Trip

It was a bright, sunny day and all Arthur wanted to do was go hunting. But, that was proving to be impossible since his manservant kept scaring away anything in range. Merlin had just stumbled - again - and was making quite a lot of noise while trying to regain his footing.

"Merlin! Could you be any louder?" asked a very irritated Prince Arthur.

"Quite possibly, yes," replied Merlin. He hated hunting and this trip was proving to be no exception.

"Really now, Merlin, how do you expect us to catch anything if you keep-"

But Arthur never got a chance to finish his sentence because Merlin interrupted him with a hushed, "Sire, did you hear that?"

"You mean the sounds of the nonexistent animals?" Arthur asked sarcastically.

Merlin gave him a look which clearly said that he did not find that funny. "No," he said quietly, "I mean that..." And then Arthur heard it - whispers. Somewhere out of sight, hidden in the trees, they were surrounded by people whispering.

Merlin silently prepared himself to use his magic if need be and Arthur drew his sword while asking loudly, "Who goes there?"

They waited a minute, but they didn't receive a response. The unknown enemies just continued to whisper.

A shiver ran down Merlin's spine. "This is why I don't like to go hunting, something bad always happens," Merlin muttered to himself.

Arthur took a step forward and called out, "Show yourselves..."

And then they did. Slowly, they started emerging from the shadows, creeping out from behind the trees. As they got closer, Merlin and Arthur could clearly see the threat they faced.

"They're just girls!" Arthur laughed, obviously relieved. "It's just a bunch of young girls!"

But Merlin looked at them more closely and saw that these weren't just ordinary girls. They had a wild look about them, and fierce determination in their eyes. They were carrying everything from pitchforks to nets. They all wore identical clothing - or at least it was almost identical. Every one of them wore a shirt with either one of two images on it.

"But that's me!" Arthur cried, pointing to the shirt of a girl who was staring at him with such an intensity he felt the need to look away. He glanced around at the others, noticing for the first time that these girls might not be what they seemed. "And that's you!" He pointed to a girl who was staring at Merlin in a similar way.

The girls started slowly making their way toward them - closing in on their prey. There was no escape; they were completely surrounded.

But something unexpected happened. One of the girls suddenly stop her advance, giggled, and cried out, "I love you Arthur!" Taking that as their cue, the others started shouting things from, "I love you," to "You're going to love the wedding I have planned for us Merlin!"

They couldn't contain themselves anymore and charged. They ran toward the objects of their desire - screaming - their hair whipping out behind them.

Arthur and Merlin stood back to back, ready to fight their approaching attackers. As much as they didn't want to have to hurt a woman, they were clearly out numbered. But before they had a chance to defend themselves, a net was thrown over their heads from behind. One of the girls shouted victoriously, "I've got them!" The crowd of wild girls threw their heads back and yelled in triumph.

But suddenly, a strange sound of whoop, whoop, filled the air. A tall, wooden, blue box appeared seemingly out of nowhere. A man wearing a brown pinstripe suit opened one of the squeaky doors and stepped out. Arthur pointed to him and shouted, "Sorcerer!" Merlin slapped his hand against his head, looking embarrassed. The man gave Merlin a look of pity before addressing the girls.

"Ladies, I told you that you could observe them, not attack and capture them. I show you all of time and space and this is how you behave?" The man shook his head in disappointment. "What were you planning on doing with them? Taking them back on board and keeping them as pets?"

One of the girls started to say something, but the man interrupted by saying, "That was rhetorical, Jessica ." He moved away from the door and said, "Now everyone back in the TARDIS so you can think about what you've done."

The girls released Arthur and Merlin and formed a single file line, walking back into the blue box. They all hung their heads, looking sufficiently ashamed of themselves. The strange man went back inside too, and a moment later, the blue box had disappeared just as quickly as it had come.

The two boys just stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, before Arthur put away his sword and said to Merlin, "We never speak of this again." And with that, he turned and started heading back toward Camelot, all thoughts of hunting abandoned.


Later that night, Merlin couldn't resist asking Gauis if he had any ideas about what had happened to them. The old physician flipped through book after book, trying to find anything that matched Merlin's description of the day's events.

After hours of researching, he summoned Merlin to join him at the table. "I believe that I have found something Merlin, and you were right, those weren't ordinary girls," he paused, "Those were Fangirls."

"Fangirls?" Merlin asked nervously. For some reason the word struck fear into his heart.

"Yes, it says right here," Gauis explained, looking at the dusty, old book, "A Fangirl is a rabid breed of human female that is obsessed with either a fictional character or actor."

"But why were they coming after Arthur and I?"

Gauis raised an eyebrow and said in a bewildered tone, "That, Merlin, I do not know."


A/N: So what do y'all think? This was my second attempt at fanfiction, but I'm not very happy with the way this turned out.

Just so everyone knows, I wasn't making fun of anyone with all of the fangirl stuff, because I for one, am most definitely one of them.

And the definition I gave for the fangirls came from the Urban Dictionary.

Also, if anyone was wondering why the Doctor has a bunch of young girls in the TARDIS, I like to think that he was at the British Museum and an all-girls school was taking a field trip there and aided him in the capture of a runaway mummy. So, to show his appreciation, he decided to take them on, "just one trip." But, that's another story...

So, that's all I guess. Please review and let me know what you thought!