Helpless
She just lay there; lifeless. The worst part of all of this was I couldn't do anything for her. I never felt so completely helpless, or was it hopeless? So I sat, confused in my own muddled mind. I knew her heart would heal eventually. I knew what she was feeling to some extent. After all, her mother had up and left me and took my life along with her. She took my baby girl, my Bella. I felt as empty as the house they left me in. I forced myself to eat, sleep, get up, and go to work. But those feelings were now buried deep covered over by my new life; my work. As Chief of the police force in Forks my availability has to be a constant variable in my life. I admit that I left Bella home alone most days. I might have even left her by herself too much. Maybe I could have put a stop to her obsession with that Cullen boy.
I sat in her bedroom rocking in the rocking chair that was nestled in the corner. I smiled at the memory of her mother sitting in this very chair cradling Bella in her arms and gently humming her to sleep. I was too afraid to move. I feared that I would wake her and her tears, or even worse the lifelessness, would spill from her eyes. So there I sat rocking quietly and watching her from the corner of her room. I played out the night before in my head. The thought of Edward Cullen leaving my daughter alone in the woods by herself was enough to make my blood boil. I was half tempted to grab my gun and go hunt the bastard down. Bella shifted in her sleep and said 'no,' as if she read my mind.
Somewhere in between wanting to do some damage and listening to Bella talk in her sleep, I drifted off. The memories of Renee and Bella flitted through my dreams. The sound I heard next will probably give me nightmares for the rest of my life. I was dreaming of Renee rocking a baby Isabella in the rocking chair in her nursery, when a blood curdling scream cut through my memories. My eyes snapped open, and I would have almost sworn my heart had stopped. Bella was kicking and screaming in her sleep. There were no words, just screams. I hurried to her side, but by the time I had gotten to her bed she had already awaken herself.
"Dad?" She sounded groggy, breathless. I walked to her desk and turned on the lamp that sat next to her computer. I could see the sweat that plastered her hair to her forehead and cheeks. Her face was flushed, as if she had just got done running a mile. I watched her try to calm herself down. Walking back to the bed I bent down, picked up a towel on her floor, and handed it to her.
"You okay kiddo?" I asked sitting down on the bed at her feet. I didn't know what to say to her. Even worse, I didn't know what to do for her. The sense of helplessness had landed on my shoulders again. She just sat there staring at nothing in particular. I didn't even ask her what she dreamed of. The lifelessness crawled back into her eyes as she lay back down and just curled in on herself. I knew I wasn't going to get an answer, so I got up and walked out of the room and into my own. What a night. I didn't even bother to undress. I flopped on my bed and slung my arm over my eyes and I was out.
I had slept an hour through my alarm. I crept into the bathroom to get ready for work. I was half tempted to call and have the Deputy Sheriff cover my shift, but I figured Bella would be sleeping all day. I was running late, so I would have to grab breakfast on the go. Driving to work I caught myself thinking about how much pain I would like to inflict on the Cullen boy. I shook myself out of it. If Bella didn't get better soon I would have to do something. I thought about calling Renee. As much as it hurt me to lose her again, I knew that Bella should be with her mother. Renee would know how to handle this and could handle this much better than I ever could.