Disclaimer: I do not own ER

Author's Note: This take place before The Letter

Lost

An ER Fanfiction

Chapter 1

Abby looked at the bottle of beer right in front of her. It was the last beer she had in the fridge. She knows she shouldn't be drinking it, but that does matter as long as makes the pain go away. When did my life start to go bad that I need to drink again, I have been sober for 4 years.

I think it all started the day that Paul Sobriki reappeared into our life. I never expected to see him here again, when I went into the room, and saw that it was him I started to get afraid, but not for not for myself, but for Carter. I couldn't believe when Susan wouldn't tie him up, she wasn't here when Paul stabbed Carter and Lucy, so she couldn't  fully understand how dangerous he was. I didn't think Carter could handle seeing that man again, it would just bring all the memories back to him I tried my best to distract John as best as I could, but he then finally saw Paul, and then when he ran off. I want so bad to help him, but I know he need to be alone.

When I got home, my neighbor was sitting on the stairs with two beers in her hands. I know that I shouldn't drink, but I thought it wasn't going to hurt if I drink just one bottle. Then I started to drink more everyday. That night that Brian came in and punched me I was drunk then too, I had just had a glass of wine before Brian come banged into the apartment. I don't think I would have opened the door if I wasn't drunk or at least I wouldn't have opened the door the second time. When Mark Greene left, it hurt me more than I ever imagined. When Mark said good bye to me that night, I thought it was just saying goodbye for the night -  I didn't think I would never see him again. I know that I didn't know Mark as long as Carter and Susan and the rest of the people did, but it still affected me knowing that Mark was dying and there is nothing anybody can do about it. How unfair is that? We spend our whole life trying to save people and we can't even save one person.

"That's better. " I said as I took a sip of  beer. "Now I can forget all about my trouble and worries."

How much longer can I keep on going like this? Will my life ever be better?

To be continued.

Author 's Note: I know this was short, tell me if you want me to continue or not. Please review it. No Flames please!!!