A/n: soooo, one shot…. Yeah… super sorry for not updating for a while, I had some problems I needed to attend to…. Personal shit aint fun, is it? (yeah, I just used aint, I'm an Okie, so get over it) this was written in a hospital, so don't have too high expectataions.
And it seems that I can only get stuff done during the school year.. im so sorry
"Are we there yet?" Alfred Jones, self proclaimed hero, whined (heroically, of course) as he leaned his head forward to the space between the two front seats of his older (c'mon! a minute counts!) brother's Subaru. Said older brother elbowed him in the face, not entirely by accident.
"Al. Sit back before I make you. And I will make you." Matthew Williams, Alfred's twin growled angirily. Three hours in a car with this particular group would make anyone angry. Angry, or drive them to the point of insanity, either way. If it wasn't Alfred whining, it was it was Arthur screaming about wandering hands (accusations were always pointed at Francis), which triggered Alfred to rush to his boyfriends aid, which resulted in a few minutes of silence when Arthur went back to his book, that was always was broken by Gilbert, who was sitting up front with Matt, causing Alfred to start whining about why he didn't get to sit up front, why did Mattie favour the stupid Prussian over his own brother, why couldn't they stop at McDonald's?
Matthew had reached his limit.
"Alright!" he yelled, grabbing the attention of the entire car, especially Gilbert. The only time his quiet little Canadian get that loud was at hockey or in bed. "We're going to play a game!" he declared, voice returning to normal level now that he had the attention. "First person to find a billboard that has a different language on it wins and gets one wish granted, but the wish has to be kept within reason." He was relying on an old game that his parents had used to keep Alfred occupied. "One rule\e is you have to know what the language is."
"Mattie, that game won't work anymore!" Alfred said, head once again between the seats.
Matthew turned to the seat next to him, begging Gilbert with his eyes to help him out here. Gilbert got the message, along with a sharp pain in his chest at how desperate Mat must be to be begging. "kesesese~ I know what I'm gonna wish for when I win~!" he said, giving his boyfriend a not-so-subtle wink.
Alfred gasped. I'll win Mattie! So I can protect you from the villain! Just like I do for Artie here!" he said, slinging an arm around said Brit, who didn't like yet another distraction from his book.
"What the Fuck, Alfred?" Arthur said, slamming his book shut. "Cant you just leave me alone?
Alfred got a thoughtful expression on his face for a moment then said, "Well, I guess I can… sorry." And relaxed back into his seat, staring out the window with a blank expression, and retracted his arm from behind Arthur.
The entire car went totally silent. Hell must have just frozen over. Alfred Jones, THE Alfred Jones was silent and still.
Arthur shifted in his seat slightly. Had he really been that harsh? Maybe he should apologize… but he couldn't do that in front of so many people. He kept up his frantic train of thought for a few minutes before silently reaching over and taking one of Alfred's massive hands and squeezed it lightly, trying to silently show his apology.
"Anyone seen any yet?" he asked the car at large after receiving a squeeze of his hand back from the oaf next to him.
A chorus of 'no's later, silence returned to the car, only this time it wasn't as awkward.
Silence was a rare thing with this group and only a short while later, an argument had started about where they should eat, only being settled by Matthew pulling into a restaurant called Braum's. It was a country styled place and Alfred seemed to get along well with the people inside, even after his brother and Gilbert kissed in the middle of the restaurant. Once everyone was fed, they all piled back into the car, Francis complaining about how Matthew was supposed to have better taste than his brother to which Matthew pulled over and calmly stated that Francis could shut up or walk home. After a brief scuttle, Matthew drove on and Francis sat in the back seat silently staring wide eyed at the back of his seat while Alfred laughed his ass off at someone other than him or Gilbert making Matthew mad. And that's when Gilbert saw it.
So, we all know our favourite albino, Gilbert, and we all also know that he almost never shuts up. So, you may have found it odd for his lack of presence in this story. But now, we find out what Gilbert had been doing this whole time.
"Hey Mattie?"
"Yeah Gil?"
"Ménage is French, right?"
Matthew glance at him, not worrying about traffic because they were at a red light. "Yeah, it means something along the lines of household, why?"
"'Cause the Awesome Me is gonna get my Awesome Wish! Take that, bitches, I found the first one!" he shouted, causing the back seat to halt their discussion about the definition of rape.
"What?" Alfred said smartly.
Gilbert smirked, pointing to a billboard with a clown head sitting next to a meal set that had three tacos and a drink and the words "Ménage a Taco" written next to it.
The backseat erupted with sound. Francis cried about the butchering of the language of l'amore, Alfred shouted that it wasn't fair, he didn't know how yet, but it wasn't and Arthur read his book while the rest of the car slowly lost their minds.