This one-shot was inspired by the amazing Hayley Williams. Thanks go out to my friends, Maddy and Jack.
Today was the day. I was going to tell him how I really felt. I was ready to fall into the unknown and maybe, just maybe, he would be there to catch me. Sighing to myself, I knew that wouldn't be a possibility, we had been friends for 10 years and only now was I telling him that I had feelings for him. I'm a coward. Running a hand through my smooth hair, I walked to my closet and starred at my clothes. My outfit today had to be perfect. I had to look different today, better different. Minutes later, I decided that it wasn't going to get any than this and pulled out a white singlet and a black high-waisted pencil skirt. I placed them on my bed and wandered into the bathroom. I slowly undressed, still partially asleep and stepped into the shower, twisting the cold and hot knobs until I got the water to the perfect temperature. I let the water drop onto my body, feeling the instant relief.
Fifteen minutes later, after I was fully prepared for the day in front of me, twisted the knobs off and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my physic. I walked towards the mirror in my bathroom, sighing at the girl who looked back at me. I didn't know who this was. It was just some girl who was too afraid to tell her best friend she was in love with him. "Pathetic," I muttered to myself. Running a brush through my wet hair, I couldn't help but stare at myself. I wondered who I had become. I thought about how I was before him. I was strong, confident and I wasn't afraid to go after what I wanted, but now, because of Jack, I was more scared than ever. He was the only one who knew me inside out. The only one who knew all of my deep and darkest secrets. The only one I truly loved. Sure, I "loved" those men at one point, but I wasn't in love with them. But with Jack, I was head over heels in love with him, he amazed me. Everything he did was monumental. He could smile and the whole room would light up. His happiness was a treasure to this world and I deeply hated everyone who caused him any harm. I was there for him through every break up of his and the only thing I could think of while I was comforting him was, "why can't you see me the way I see you?" Sighing at the thought, I put down the hair brush and picked up my curling iron. I remember every night I spent with him in detail. Every. Little. Thing. The way he smiled, the way he said my name, the way he held me. I quickly curled my hair and walked back into my bedroom, first putting on my underwear and strapless bra. Strapless will be best, I thought to myself as I looked at my chosen outfit. I finally got dressed and slipped on my favorite black heels. They were my good luck shoes, whenever I was in those shoes, something good would happen, this time, I was hoping that Jack would be the good thing. Smiling at that thought, I grabbed my black blazer and my purse and I was finally out the door.
When I arrived at work, everyone was there already. I slid into my office quietly hoping that no one would be able to notice that I wasn't there for the staff meeting. Hopefully someone covered for me. As soon I entered the room, the phone rang, jumping a little, I walked towards it as I placed my purse down onto my desk, "hello?" I answered.
"Hey, Nat." Jack replied, sounding excited. "I need to talk to you about something."
I smiled, "really?" I asked, his mood was already changing mine, "come up to the office."
"I'll be there in 10." He promised, smiling at his voice, I finally placed the phone back down. I slowly took my blazer off, still in a daze. He was coming. To tell me something. I had to remind myself to breathe, even though I felt selfish, I still wanted him. More than I've wanted anyone else.
Although he was in my office sooner than he had promised, the minutes felt like forever. It was like time had fully stopped and once again, I was unable to breathe.
As he entered my office, a huge smile appeared on my face, I automatically got up out of my seat and walked over to him and hugged him tightly. "It's good to see you." I murdered against his shoulder.
"It's good to see you too." He replied, leaning out of the embrace, "I have a surprise." He said, smiling like he has just discovered the cure of cancer.
I giggled softly, "what is it?" I asked as I felt my face slowly start to heat up.
He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box, I automatically bring my hands up to my mouth. "Oh my gosh!" I scream.
He chuckles, "I know... Isn't it great?" He asked, slowly opening the box revealing a diamond ring, "I'm going to ask Rose to marry me!"
"E-E-E-E-Excuse me?" I finally spat out. My heart sunk. Wait, that's an understatement. It felt like he ripped out my heart from my chest and stomped all over it, regardless of how I felt or what I wanted to tell him.
His smile faded, "what's wrong? I thought you would be happy for me. You were ecstatic just a minute ago.." He asked, obviously confused.
"That's because I.." Trailing off, I realized that I couldn't admit what I really thought. "N-Nevermind." I finished.
"You what?" He asked, slightly irritated, "tell me, Natalie. What is it? I've known you for years and you've never kept a secret from me." He said, taking a step towards me. "Ever."
"N-No. This is the one thing I cannot tell you. It will ruin everything." I said, taking an irregularly large step backwards towards my desk where it was safe.
"Tell. Me." He insisted, stepping towards me again.
"I-I-I.." I started, great start, Nat, now he thinks you're stupid and selfish, taking another step backwards, I felt myself step into my desk, "ow," I murmured.
"What is it, Nat? Just spit it out. I'm meeting Rose soon." He said, suddenly uninterested in what I had to say.
I scoffed, "why does it matter anyway? You don't care. People say that nothing is impossible, but they're wrong, you wanna know why? Because it is impossible for you to love me!" I asked, now angry. I stood up straight and stepped towards him. I was no longer scared of this man. He would not control me anymore. I was sick of it.
"What?" He asked, "what are you trying to say?"
I took a deep breath, looking down as I shook my head. Looking back at him, "I'm in love with you, you fucking moron." I said simply, no love or hate. No emotion what so ever.
Reviews? Should I continue? ;)