I decided to try for a one-shot after reading a prompt while surfing the net. Hope it goes well.
Prompt goes like this: you and your secret crush debate the topic, "better to have loved and lose than to have never loved at all."
"When I first saw you I was afraid to talk to you...
when I first talked to you I was afraid to love you...
now that I love you I'm afraid to lose you and
I hope I never do."
Bella's POV (Ahh, I've missed writing her point of view so much)
There he sat across me, all smiles and charming personality- his only weapons were his wits and the fact that I used to have a crush on him… all right, hands down, I still have a bit of the old flame hidden inside me but it's almost gone now. Barely a flicker.
He started "it." The topic. The conversation- if you may.
I was reading a novel from a promising, new author who's steadfastly gaining recognition in the literary world. Her novel was fast-paced and brilliant with just the right amount of humor and romance mixed in it. The plot was about lovers who chose to meet again after quite some time after they believed their love was gone.
How extraordinarily foolish of them- those two main protagonists. They didn't know that love can't vanish that easily especially after everything that went through between them.
Edward Cullen made his entrance when he accidentally bumped into my table while I was at the climax of my novel. I took a deep breath as I prepared myself for a one-on-one with the faceless stranger only to arrive face-to-face with Edward.
An old flame of mine.
It's ironic how life sometimes worked. You fancy yourself in love with someone back in those good old high school days where you find yourself tip-toeing around him as you tried to find everything you can about him. You don't talk to him at all but you'd successfully manage to complete a conversation about him for hours without stopping. You'd do little things to get him to notice you but when he does talk to you, your voice squeaks. You keep those little pieces of paper you left when you ripped out the paper he was asking for. You find your heart breaking when you learned that he was determined to stay single- no, he wasn't gay. He just wanted one special girl to rock his world. You were ecstatic to learn that he was assigned to be one of your partners at Prom and you cried when you went back for him for the entrance and you were told that he already went in with his best friend- the girl he used to have a crush on. You were devastated when you saw him immediately leave that same night when it was time for the partners to dance because he still had class the following day.
That's how infatuated I was before with Edward.
I settled on leaving my feelings to him behind after that night.
He was stubbornly set to be single; I wasn't special enough to rock his foundation.
I left it at that…
But fate had other things in mind.
"Bella? Bella Swan?" His eyes widened as he recognized me despite the fact that I was wearing my contact lenses when I used to wear glasses all the time.
"It's nice to see you again, Edward." I gave a polite smile, believing he was just about to leave before my table got in the way.
"Wow, I never thought I'd see you again. It's been so long- how are you? What are you doing right now?"
"I'm fine, thank you. I'm working as a literary agent."
"That's good."
He was just making small talk. After all, it would be rude to leave after he realized I was there. Edward was a gentleman- no matter what I'd thought of him that horrendous night, it was all a misunderstanding.
I suddenly had a vision of the dying ember I thought of awhile ago. It was flickering, almost next to perishing completely.
He saw the book I was holding in my hand. "Is that the new bestseller everyone's talking about these days- what do they call it? Have- something?"
"Should have been," I supplied.
"That's right. Is it good?"
"I haven't read it to the end but so far, it shows great promise. The narration's excellently done and the feelings were strongly conveyed. Powerful emotions, no matter how they tried to hide it."
"What's it about?"
"It's about two lovers finding love again when they thought it was lost."
"It's nice how love could generate a multimillion dollar business, isn't it?" he remarked casually.
"Excuse me?" I choked out. His statement was unexpected- an out of the blue line I wasn't expecting from him.
"Oh c'mon, don't tell me you believe in all this love emotion and all. It's nice to hear about in stories, I'd give you that but the truth of the matter is; love doesn't happen in reality."
"I disagree with you in every point you've just made, Edward. Love isn't just some myth created by some hapless poet one day in the hopes of seeing a brighter future. It's real- and there have been more than enough evidences to support that fact!"
"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow as he contemplated about what I'd just said and took a seat on the empty chintz chair in front of me. "Enlighten me then."
"When you see an old couple, crying together after they've learned that they managed to get pregnant after two decades of being unable to get pregnant, that's love! And when you see a parent looking down at their baby for the first time, love is evident there- in their gazes. When someone's spouse is not turning out well after all her chemotherapies and her husband's heart feels like it was breaking- love is there at its finest moment. To endure all odds, to face obstacles and be able to overcome it- that's what love is sometimes about. It's not always about roses or wine or whatnot. It's working together to move your relationship forward and when you manage to succeed and you find that person who you love and who loves you in return and you're still standing strong despite what had come between the two of you, that's the best thing you could experience- that is love. It's the reason why I believe that it's better to have loved and lost rather than not having loved at all."
A gust of wind flew towards the dying fire, trying to smudge it away.
His face was inscrutable. "The pain isn't worth it to try to fight for something useless. Let's just say you both overcame those obstacles but one of you abruptly dies- without warning. Both of your damn efforts were futile. You should never have done it in the first place."
"Life is too short for everyone. That's why we were instructed to live as if each day was our last. You live, you love and then you lost. It's more meaningful to have loved someone rather than protecting yourself from everything."
"If you try to do pursue love that was once lost, it's like you're trying to make love without the climax because you know you'd never get the contentment or the satisfaction."
"If you never loved, then that means you never even had sex in the first place so that was the life you wanted?" I smirked. Something was stirring beneath my depths as I figured he was losing. "Working with your simile, I suppose I could safely conclude that the rest of your argument would have gone with what I'd said."
He gave a rueful smile. "I hadn't thought about it beforehand. You got the point for that round."
"What I've been trying to point out, Edward," I began in a softer tone, "is not about the after part- it's the before and during I'm trying to emphasize on. Losing someone would always be hard- even when they're not dead, you could still lose someone. And it would be painful, I agree with you on that. So painful that some would have preferred never to have loved at all but you still have to try. You still have to take your courage once in a while and take the first step to try- because loving and losing would never give me the memories I have- those happy memories I had and even those disappointing ones -than if I choose to build walls around me. It's what I should have done a long time ago."
"What are you talking about?"
"I… had a crush on you once before. I tried giving it up more times than I could count but then you always came back whenever I tried to let you go."
"Why didn't you tell me before?" he asked me softly.
"Because you left me at the Prom when I searched for you," I exclaimed. "All those times I thought of giving you up, you came back but when I looked for you, you left."
"I was young before, Bella- I was stupid and ruled by my emotions and impulsiveness. I was jealous of your partner before me."
"I beg your pardon?" I whispered unbelievably. The wind was losing its battle as the flame fought back with renewed fervor.
"I was jealous. I thought I was your only partner, I never thought you'd need to be partnered with others," he explained brusquely.
"Are you telling me that you liked me as well?"
Why do I have to experience this cruel twist of fate? We were just like the protagonists in Should Have Been- no, we were worst, because we didn't even had it all to begin with…
"Probably loved, what could I say? I was opposed to the idea of 'loving and losing' because I experienced it once before and I wasn't happy with the way I acted. I would never have thought that you had the same feelings. I'm glad that I picked the right choice before. I'd only hope I could have the same luck next time with my next choice." He stood up and gave me a parting nod. "This is where I'll leave you now. Take care, Bella."
I bit my lower lip anxiously as I looked at my novel's cover- a hand reaching out to another hand. Should have been. The fire was unstoppable now- fighting its way inside of me, trying to get out.
"Edward!" I called out.
He was already in front of me, his face was set.
"Are you free next week?" he blurted out. "It's just that I have this new project tomorrow that I have to launch I'm hoping you could see, I'll introduce you to some of my friends… and I'd really like to see you again."
My lip twitched.
"Sure, I'd love too."
That was all we needed. A smile was exchanged, answering were looks passed and I realized that this rekindled flame inside me would continue to burn for forever.
That was it. Made it in two hours and now I'm going back to hibernation.
Was it good or not? This is my first one-shot so I don't have any idea how it went.
Thanks for reading,
jumarxie