Be Proud Of Me
SUMMARY- end of season two. The bite wasn't cured and all hope is lost, but Damon has Stefan with him now. Everything will be okay. For those who like heart-wrenching brotherly love.
I am extremely proud of this. I don't care if any-one else says it's horrible, I love it. I put everything I possibly could in, hence the drama over-load. I'm surprised my computer didn't shut-down or something…
t.t.f.n.
"Look after them, Stefan," Damon whispered, almost panting between words. Stefan knew that he wanted to say more, but instead all Damon could do was let out a harsh yet painfully quiet cough. Stefan rubbed his back soothingly and ran his fingers through Damon hair. He couldn't see his brother's face, but he knew Damon was crying. He could feel it as surely as he could feel the tremors that shook them both. He wished he could take his brother's pain away but he didn't want it to be over. If it was over than it meant that he had not tried hard enough. That Klaus breaking the deal at the last second was for nothing. He wanted so badly to believe that Katherine would prove both him and Klaus wrong and bring the cure after all. Part of him wanted to thank Klaus for realizing sending Katherine was a waste and letting him see his brother again, even if it was for the last time. He didn't know why the hybrid had done it. As soon as the words were spoken he had ran. Now here he was with his brother sitting across his lap, leaning forward into one arm and cling to his shirt, his girlfriend standing in the doorway, crying her eyes out but not daring to interrupt, and his own un-beating heart that was threatening to break into a thousand pieces. He wanted to scream, to cry, to beg Katherine to come, to beg Damon to live, to rip the universe into pieces and to tear his own heart out just to make it all stop hurting so much.
Instead he whispered, "I will."
Damon managed the equivalent of a nod in his weakened state. It was then that the convulsions overtook him yet again and he cried out pathetically. Stefan felt like his insides had vanished. He told Damon that everything would be okay, that he would fix it and that the pain would stop. He didn't want to say that he promised, because he knew that he was lying. When Damon's body became limp, even more so than it already was, Stefan had never been more scared. He was almost glad when he felt his brother start to shiver in his arms.
Almost.
"… cold." Damon's voice couldn't have been softer.
Stefan turned his brother gently so that Damon's back was against his chest and leant against the headboard. Their arms were still wrapped around each other. It was as if they thought they if they held each other tight enough they would never be ripped apart. He felt Damon turn his head and press it into his chest.
Damon told him that he was warm.
He told Damon that he'd make him warm too.
Damon told him that he was making him warm already.
Damon whispered thank you.
His heart broke.
The next few seconds were silent. Damon's hands were slowly tightening around Stefan's arms, but neither of them cared. They needed each other, they understood that now.
"Steph?"
"I'm here."
"Steph…"
"Yes Damon?"
"…"
"Tell me what's wrong."
"…"
"Please."
"... I don't want to sleep Steph."
"Why?"
"…"
"Tell me. Please."
"… I don't want to die."
"Damon…"
"I don't want to be alone."
"You're never alone."
Damon didn't believe him.
That was when Stefan did something that he thought he'd never do. His brother couldn't be scared. That would rip him apart inside. He didn't want to, but Damon needed this now.
He lied.
"Listen to me," Stefan whispered. He watched as Damon tilt his head back a little and leant down slightly so that he could look into his brother's eyes.
He kept telling himself that Damon needed him now.
"I'm never going to leave you. I'm going to be right here holding you when you wake up. I won't move for even a second. You won't be alone."
Damon was still scared.
He hadn't gotten to the lie yet.
"And if… if you don't…" Stefan had to take a deep breath to calm himself. He could feel Damon's eyes on him, pleading. "If you don't wake up, I'm going to be waiting for you on the other side. I'll be right there and you won't be alone."
"Promise?"
"I could never leave you alone."
"Promise?"
Damon's voice had never been so quiet. Neither of them spoke for a long time. Stefan didn't want to, but his brother needed him. He looked down into blue eyes. Eyes that were silently begging him. It seemed like the loudest thing in the world.
And he smiled, for what he thought may have been the last time.
"Yes."
Damon looked like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. He relaxed in Stefan's arms, whispering another thank you. Stefan's heart broke again. It must have been in quarters now. It was hurting. He felt like he could drown in the pain. He hoped Damon didn't feel like this.
Something inside told him that Damon felt worse.
"'M tired Steph…" Damon whispered, sinking back further. The small voice brought Stefan away from his pain. His brother needed him now. Later would be too late, now was perfect. "…so tired…"
Stefan brushed Damon's hair out of his eyes. They were almost closing and Stefan found himself trying to memorize the colour. Damon was fading and that killed him inside. He didn't want those eyes to fade too.
"You can sleep."
"You won't leave?"
"I promised."
After a moment he felt Damon's cheek press against his palm. He had forgotten that half his hand was still tangled in his brother's dark hair.
In that moment, as he felt his brother's tears stain his hand, he knew it was the end. The wave crashed down, the rock hit the earth, the universe clicked into place. It was over. It was over. It was over. It was over. It was over. It was over. It was over.
His dread swallowed him and he felt like he was dying.
But, like he always had, Damon saved him for what he thought may have been the last time.
"I love you, Stefan. My… little… brother." Damon voice faded as soon as the last word left his mouth and finally Stefan could hear what he should have heard every time Damon had ever said those words before then. Every single time and he had never known. His heart swelled and ached simultaneously. He had never cried so hard. He had never cared so much.
He had never known how proud Damon was.
And for the next five seconds one though filled Stefan's head.
'My big brother is proud of me'.
The five seconds ended and Stefan said something he had wanted to say for a very long time. He said, "I love you too. Forever… big brother." The last two words came out like a sob. He didn't remember the last time he had said them. That hurt him too.
He felt Damon smile against his hand for what he thought may have been the last time.
Everything felt good now. It hurt, more than anything else ever had, but that was good. It meant that he cared. It meant that Damon cared. At first Stefan didn't think that Damon would say anything more. When he did Stefan had to strain his ears just to hear the words. He didn't mind though. He would have given anything to hear his brother's voice.
"That sounds good, Steph… that sounds… right."
Stefan pressed his face into Damon's hair. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He wanted to remember this moment. He wanted to remember Damon's eyes, his voice, every single word that he had ever said. Everything was good in that second. It wasn't the end yet. It was so close, but that didn't matter. They were brothers again. Everything was alright.
He wanted that moment to last forever.
For a second Stefan opened his eyes. He didn't know what made him do it. His eyes had opened a tiny little bit and through the slightest crack he saw something incredible. On the bed-side cabinet there was a little glass bottle with a cork in the top. Inside he could see a red liquid.
He knew it hadn't been there a second ago.
And so, as time stood still Stefan had a thousand thoughts running rampage in his mind.
Can I save Damon? How did it get there? Is it the cure? Did Katherine bring it? Will everything be okay? Does she actually care?
One question stood out from all the rest.
Am I too late?