Prolouge
I suppose I was never truly 'normal' by any standards. What is normal exactly, and can anyone ever hope to achieve it? I've never really been sure, but I side, theoretically at least, it must be possible. Where else could the word have come from? And just who was it that created these titles of those who are allowed to roam with a larger group of people, and those who were never truly accepted? Why must I be one of those who seems to have nowhere to go? But then, is that really something to get worked up about.
Hmm… I suppose it is true that those of us considered others will never truly be accepted by the general public, but, would that even be something we wish? To finally be accepted by those who have shines is for far too long? I suppose, that's not really what I wish, but rather, someone who understands what it's like to not be understood. Years of being an outcast can cause all types of social anxieties, but, it could also cause I've to become numb to all feeling. It's simple logic really. If you can't trust anyone with your emotions, if you don't show them, and if you ignore them constantly for a long period of time, it becomes easier.
I suppose it may also help that I never really trusted people for more than a week. Even children can be cruel, especially to one who is a freak. When you read as much as I do, and look for the similarities between most fantasies and life, you'll find that life is not as interesting, and far less inviting. Social status means just about everything to just about everyone. This may be the reason I don't strive to be popular. When you were never truly accepted, then what's the use it holding on to hope that you will be. When searching for a lost to you haven't seen in years, if you can not find it, is it not natural to eventually give up?
Not to downgrade the real world, but wouldn't it be so much easier if for once, we forgot about such trivial practices? What difference would a social class make it the world was rid of everyone else? It limits you. The popular learn to gain confidence and help from those around them. If that is true, than they would not survive long. Those in normal classes, not popular, but not quite an outcast, may least a bit longer, but they still move with friends, and in packs. As for the outcasts, they are most likely to live longest. What difference does it make being alone if you have always been alone.
An outcast, it's not a terrible thing to be, it is merely lonely. If you can get passed that, you can accept it, and grow stronger because of it. But, what would happen if it stopped? If all the social titles just vanished? If humanity could just love in peace? But if there's no chaos, do we truly know what peace is?
Peace is the absence of chaos.
Outcasts are merely those who are not accepted.
Being lonely is the absence of having people who understand you around.
What does any of this matter.
Isn't cold just the absence of warmth?
Isn't darkness the absence of light?
Will that ever change? No, so why must we. After all, if you put together two outcasts, devoid of emotion because of pain, they would find something in common, and may, in turn, unlock each other's emotions.