The Power of Love
Inu Yasha savored Kagome her clean scent, the warm softness of her lips,
her warm body against his. Was this really happening? Was it Kagome who wanted him, or was the doll doing this to get him. Was it just another kind of fighting? Break down his defenses, then destroy him inside and out? As her hands moved from his neck to caress his back, he decided he didn't care as long as he had this moment when all she wanted was to be in his arms. Their kisses grew hungrier and hungrier as her hands moved around his sides
to chest, then lower to his hips and around between them to-
Inu Yasha grabbed Kagome's wrist and pushed her away from him with a startled gasp. "No!" He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip against the war inside him between desire and love. Desire said take her now, love said
this isn't Kagome, she's just being used by a demon. He couldn't take
advantage of her when she was like this!
"But.Inu Yasha." She sounded genuinely puzzled. Her big, brown eyes gazed deeply into his, still shimmering with need. All he could do was watch her lips move. "I want you! I thought you wanted me, too!" Tears pooled in her
eyes and threatened to fall.
Inu Yasha's grip on her wrist loosened and he drew her into his embrace again. "Please don't cry, Kagome, you know I can't stand it when you cry." He held her and soothed her, kissing her hair and being far too aware of
her body against his once more.
Her hands reached up to undo the tie on his kimono. "It's warm in here, don't you think?" He let her remove the coat, trembled at the sensation of her soft, gentle hands as they crept beneath his shirt to caress his skin. His heart pounded blood into his vision and his hearing until all he could
hear was throbbing and all he could see was her eyes through a dark red tunnel. Then he was kissing her again, and she pulled his shirt off of his shoulders to hang about his waist. Inu Yasha didn't know when she took off her blouse and bra, but the next thing he knew he could feel her breasts against his chest, her fingernails digging into his back, her hips against
his.
"This isn't Kagome!" A frantic voice screamed in his head. "Kagome wouldn't
throw herself at me like this! She wouldn't undress me, or touch me-oh, gods, there!" His trembling hands unbuttoned, then unzipped her skirt, and
it fell to her ankles in a pool of cotton. "This is too good-no, it's
wrong! Stop it!" That little voice cried to him in his mind, but he couldn't stop. He wanted this so bad. When did her underwear come off? And his pants. "Oh gods, are we really naked? Me, Kagome.alone.naked.Stop it!"
Inu Yasha threw her away from him with a tortured sob. She fell to the floor, and he quickly tossed his shirt over her, turned his back and pulled on his pants. "You're not Kagome," he breathed in a husky voice. "Kagome wouldn't throw herself at me like that. We haven't even.we haven't talked
about us.I don't know what our relationship is.but I know it isn't this yet." He cursed and angrily scrubbed the tears from his cheeks. Turning on her, he snarled: "I love her, and you're turning her into a whore! Let her
go now!" He staggered toward her, dropped to his knees and clutched her shoulders with hands that refused to quit shaking. "Please let her go," he wept, "I'm begging you, demon! Do think I ever beg? I never beg anybody for
anything, but I'll do anything if you'll just let her go!"
Kagome clutched his shirt to her chest and trembled, then suddenly her expression hardened and she jerked herself out from under his grasp. "Do you really think I care what you want?! I have no use for males, I told you that already! I was willing to continue her life as it was, do those things she was already doing, even love the man she loves. She has dreamed of you
and in her dreams the two of you are doing what you won't do! Are you a
man, or a dog? How can you refuse Kagome?"
"I can't refuse Kagome," Inu Yasha told her in a soft, miserable voice,
"but I can refuse the demon who stole her body and soul." He wiped away more tears and said: "Maybe she has dreamed of being with me like that, but she was probably asleep and not in control of her dream. We're not ready to
sleep together, demon, no matter what our dreams might be."
Inu Yasha rose and went to the window. He leaned his arms against the
glass, lay his forehead against them and looked out over the shrine grounds, then beyond to Tokyo, spread before him like a blanket of stars. Kagome's home, where her family and friends and everything familiar to her was. His world was alien, the people strange and maybe even primitive in her eyes, but she still treated everyone as an equal. Even a half-demon who solved every problem with violence, who could face a thousand demons with
unflinching courage but couldn't tell her he loved her to her face. Not
when she was herself, anyway. "What do you want to let her go?"
"You have nothing I want."
He balled his fists against the window pane. "If I could find you a
different host, would you leave her?"
Kagome joined him at the window, leaning against the wall beside it. She wore nothing but his shirt, which hung almost to her knees. Gods, she was
sexy like that! "Her body is soaked with the Jewel's magic. It has permeated every tissue. I can be immortal in her body and retain most of my powers. In a lesser form, I'd lose all of that. Why should I leave Kagome
for another? Unless you have a female demon body in mind.?"
Inu Yasha shook his head. "No. I don't know any that are still alive. I was
thinking of a human-not any human in particular, just-" he paused, the
beginnings of a plan in his mind. He knew what Kagome would want: Find someone who was dying, who wouldn't have a hope of living unless the demon intervened and took over their body, then put the demon into that person.
He certainly couldn't kill Kagome's body to drive out the demon and he
honestly couldn't think of any other alternative if the demon wouldn't
accept another host. "I thought.if there was a human who was dying-"
"You would have me take a body, only to have it die?!" She cried and
started to storm away, but he caught her shoulders again.
"No! I mean, your power could save that person!" He insisted. "Then you'd have a living body! Ok, it'd be mortal, but you'd be alive and have a life!
Isn't that what you wanted?"
She scowled at him. "A demon is immortal. I am immortal."
"Immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be," Inu Yasha snorted.
Kagome raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And you would be mortal, I suppose?"
Would he? Inu Yasha had been thinking about it for months now, just as he'd considered doing it for Kikyo: Use the power of the Shikon Jewel to become a full human, rather than a full demon. He would be mortal and vulnerable but he could be with Kagome. They could marry, maybe even have kids. Not that they couldn't breed the way he was, it was just that.well, she would
be ostracized because of him, surely. His very nature would put her in constant danger from his many demonic enemies, who wouldn't think he was
worth their trouble if he was human. "For her, I would be human."
This seemed to puzzle the demon. She closed her eyes and knitted her brows in thought. After a while, she opened her eyes again and cuddled up against
his chest. "You would become mortal for her, but you won't make love to
her, as she wishes?"
"As you wish," Inu Yasha corrected and forced his arms not to hold her,
"not Kagome."
She shook her head, her hair silk against his skin, and he wept with the force of will it took not to touch her. "I've been inside her for more than a day. I can see her memories, even memories of wishes and daydreams. She doesn't really know what to want, specifically, but she knows she wants you to kiss her and touch her, as you were doing before." Kagome looked up into his face, brushed away his tears with her delicate fingertips. It only made
him cry harder. Then she tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him down for a long, deep kiss. "I know what she wants," she whispered into his mouth and smiled when he lost the battle with his conscience and crushed
her against him.
But just as he had twice before, Inu Yasha's stubborn will won out and he
pushed her away from him. "When you release Kagome, and she can tell me herself-without your influence-that she wants to make love with me, then I'll do it!" With great reluctance, he reclaimed his shirt and got dressed. With one, last, longing look at her standing naked by the window, he ran
from her room, down the stairs and out into the cold winter night.
His feet carried him to the well inside its little shrine, but he couldn't bring himself to jump in. "I can't leave her like this," he moaned, knowing he had to do something to save her, but unable to think of a thing. He'd never felt so utterly hopeless, not even when Kikyo had turned on him and pinned him to the God Tree. All Inu Yasha could do was crouch beside the
well, his arms wrapped tightly about his knees, and sob.
A gentle hand on his hair brought his face up with a start. Kagome knelt
beside him and took him in her arms. "So much love," she whispered. "Is this what it feels like? I feel her love. I feel her sadness because she hurt you, even if it was me doing the hurting. She can't bear to see you in pain. I will not approach you like that again, Inu Yasha." Kagome sighed, a gust of warm air that sent a chill down his spine. "I can see it will be impossible for us to be together now that I am Kagome, so take these and continue the search alone." She pressed the jar with the shards into his
hand and squeezed his fingers around it. Then she rose and left without another word, the only sounds those of her silk bathrobe shuffing against
her legs.
Inu Yasha stared unseeing at the tiny jar in his palm. All those times he'd tried to take this from her, had tried to keep the shards for himself-and
now that he had them, he didn't want them. What good was becoming Human
without her? He didn't even want to be a full demon without her. No, he didn't want to live without her. Therefore, he had to come up with a plan to get the demon out of Kagome and fast. He had a feeling he was up against a stone-cold deadline, a point of no return, after which there could be no
separating the human girl from the demon doll. Since his brain wouldn't work, that meant finding brains that did, and that meant going back in time
where his allies were.
Resolved, Inu Yasha crawled into the well and dropped through time, crawled
out again and flew to Kaede's, fervently hoping the old woman wasn't so
torn with grief that she'd be unable to think. And Myouga had better be there, too, and that whelp Shippo. Surely their fondness for Kagome would
propel their minds into unheard of feats of strategic genius, or there
really was no hope.
The lights burned brightly in the windows of Kaede's house, and Inu Yasha
caught a glimpse of the old woman moving about inside. Good! Kaede was there! He alighted outside her door, pushed back the flap and stood just inside the door until she sensed someone watching her and turned around.
"Inu Yasha!" She exclaimed, then: "But.you're alone. Where's Kagome? What
happened?"
He stepped up into the house proper and seated himself dejectedly by the fire. For the first time since he was a child he genuinely wanted someone to hold him and make it all better, but the only one he wanted to hold him was Kagome and the only thing that would make it all better was freeing her
from the demon. "The demon still has her, but otherwise, I guess she's
alright."
His voice was almost too quiet to hear and had a roughness Kaede knew too well from the months she'd spent weeping for her sister. She sat down next to him and hesitantly lay her hand on his knee. "Tell me what happened,"
she urged him gently, "take you time."
Inu Yasha shook his head, and a tear rolled down his cheek. "We don't have
time. Where are Shippo and Myoga? We need to make a plan."
"They went for a walk," Kaede replied, "to think. Don't worry: They can't
get through the well without the shards or Kagome willing them through.
They'll be back soon."
"I didn't see them when I came out of the well," he said in dull voice.
Gods, the only emotion he could muster was pain. Pain and desperation. "They can't do anything for her, anyway. The demon has no use for males." Except as sexual partners, but Inu Yasha didn't say that aloud. Memories of those few minutes he had held Kagome and felt her naked flesh against his own tormented him. Her scent was still in his nose, the satiny texture of her flesh still on his fingers, the taste of her mouth still on his tongue.
He didn't realize how hard he was crying until Kaede began stroking his hair. Quickly, he wiped the moisture from his face but didn't refuse her touch. He had no memory of a grandmother, so for tonight Kaede would do. "The doll.the demon made Kagome." he struggled to put into words what had happened, decided it wasn't Kaede's business, changed his mind. "She made
Kagome try to-"
"Shhh," Kaede soothed. She patted his shoulder and went to fix him
something to eat. "I understand. That wasn't Kagome, Inu Yasha, just
remember that."
"I know!" He shot back, inwardly glad he didn't have to put into words what had transpired between him and Kagome that night. "I tried to talk her into
letting Kagome go. I begged her, old woman! When have I ever begged? I offered myself. I told her I'd do anything-give her anything, if she'd just let Kagome go, but she refused. But," Inu Yasha mopped his face some more,
"I think Kagome is still in there."
He took the jar with the shards out of his coat and held them up for Kaede to see. She gasped in disbelief and reached out to take them, but he put
them away before her hand came close. "She said she could feel Kagome's pain at seeing me hurt. So she gave these to me and said I should continue
the search alone."
Kaede set a bowl of rice and pickles before him, then sat down on the other
side of the fire. "It sounds like Kagome has some influence over this
demon. That gives me an idea."
Inu Yasha had no appetite and didn't touch the food she gave him. The sake she offered, however, went down in a gulp. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve
and asked: "Tell me this idea of yours."
"Kagome is a strong girl, as you well know," the old priestess began with a
little smile; an image had leapt into her mind of Kagome forcing Inu Yasha's face in the dirt by very casually saying "sit". "Perhaps she can be
reached past the demon and convinced to fight for herself and force the
demon out of her body. But she would need strong motivation to fight."
Inu Yasha gave her a grim smile. "Leave that part to me," he pushed the sake bowl away, suddenly wanting very much to remain sober. "I think I can
convince her family to help, as well."
Kaede raised an eyebrow. "What are you planning, Inu Yasha?"
"She seemed," he hesitated to reveal the truth of his feelings by repeating
the demon's words. Ah well, the old witch was pretty perceptive. She'd probably already figured it out. "Love really moved her. She said 'so much love. Is this what it feels like?' I think." he blushed and looked away, "I
think she was feeling what Kagome feels for.for me."
"Not what you feel for her?" Kaede prompted gently.
Inu Yasha bowed his head but still couldn't meet her eyes. "I already told her what I felt, so she knew," he took a couple of deep breaths and added: "She knows I.I love Kagome." There, he'd said it. Confession made. Let the
teasing begin. No, there would be no teasing, not tonight, not the way things were. And yet, teasing would have made things seem right somehow,
like it was ok, like everything would work out.
Kaede said: "I could tell. You've never been subtle, Inu Yasha." She smiled at him with more warmth than she was wont to show anyone ordinarily, but these circumstances were special. This was Kikyo's second chance to have the love she'd lost so long ago. Kaede said a quick, silent prayer to her sister's spirit, asking her to lend Kagome her strength, then said to Inu Yasha: "If anything will give Kagome the strength to free herself from the demon, it's your love." Her smile broadened. "She's not too subtle, either, you know. Even if she hasn't told you yet, I can tell what she feels for
you. Just don't blow it this time."
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Inu Yasha protested with some of his old
angst, but Kaede just chuckled.
Just then Shippo burst in the door, followed closely by Myoga who hopped straight onto his master's rosary and cried: "Thank the gods you're safe!
Where's Kagome?"
Shippo plopped himself next to Inu Yasha and began eating the other demon's
untouched dinner. "Is she ok? Recovering from the demon, huh?"
Inu Yasha gawked at them. They just assumed he'd succeed! The idea of Inu Yasha failing to save their beloved Kagome from peril was so unthinkable, those two couldn't even accept the possibility. There was Shippo, happily shoveling rice into his face, and Myoga sucking away at Inu Yasha's neck
like everything was great and Kagome would join them in a few days to resume their quest for the jewel shards. "You idiots!" Inu Yasha roared. He pinched Myoga off his neck and tossed him into Shippo's rice bowl. "She's not ok! The demon won't let her go, and I wasn't about to kill Kagome to
make her! We still have work to do, and you morons are sitting there
stuffing your faces like it's New Year's day!"
"She's not alright?" Shippo asked in astonishment. "I can't believe you just left her when she's still possessed!" The fox jumped up, scattering
his meal and the flea all over the floor, and threw himself onto Inu
Yasha's throat. "How could you leave her?!"
Inu Yasha picked Shippo off of him and threw him at Kaede, who caught the
little kitsune and held onto him while Inu Yasha explained the plan. "I want you to come with me," Inu Yasha said. He stood in the doorway, looking
out onto the dark village and shivering in the winter wind. Cold. He'd never felt the cold before, but then he'd never had the heat of Kagome's kiss to compare it to. "All of you, if you think you can make the trip. She gave me the shards, so I should be able to get us through the well. I want her family to help us-everybody who loves her. Even that Hojo punk, if I thought I could find him. Kagome needs a reason to fight, and love seems to
be the thing that has the most affect on the demon."
"And since you love her most of all." Myoga began but let the thought trail off into silence. His master didn't argue with him for once, just nodded
and went back to staring at the night.
Shippo went to stand beside Inu Yasha and put a tiny hand on his friend's
leg. "I'm ready to go now, if you are."
"So am I," added Myoga.
Kaede said: "Let me tell the elders I'll be talking a short trip, then I'll
be ready to leave, as well."
Inu Yasha nodded. As he walked out into the cold, he said: "I'll wait for
you at the well, but I won't wait long."
Kagome awoke with a start to find the lights on and her bedroom full of
people. Her mother, her brother, her grandfather, Shippo, Myoga, Kaede
and.him. "Inu Yasha," she said with a deep, serious frown, "I thought I
told you I didn't want to see you anymore."
A pain went through his heart for an instant, but Inu Yasha reminded himself that Kagome wasn't in control. Obviously, the demon didn't realize yet what was up and thought her family would take her side. How wrong she was. "You don't want to see me anymore because you know I'm Kagome's best
reason for fighting you." He gestured to the others in the room with a sweep of his arm. "Love is a force you can't defeat, isn't it? Here's her family and her friends from my time. I would've brought her friends from
here, but I don't know where to find them and I don't think they'd
understand about you."
Kagome's grandfather had a rosary in his hand and was busily praying on it.
"Demon! By the love I have for my granddaughter, I command you to come
out!" He shook the beads at Kagome, who just stared at him like he'd
sprouted wings. Gramps shook the beads even harder and commanded more
loudly: "COME OUT!"
"That won't work," Kaede advised him.
"But she's possessed!" He protested. "An exorcism is what's needed here!"
Kaede shook her head. "This is no ordinary possession. The doll has become Kagome, but there's still a part of Kagome that can respond to us. You need
to appeal to Kagome, not the demon."
Inu Yasha held up a hand for silence. "Leave this to me." In front of all these people. Oh, gods, Kagome, you don't know what this is costing me! He sat on the edge of her bed, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he
opened his eyes again, he looked deeply into hers and spoke to her in a
gentle, careful voice. Each word hurt like hell to say in front of her
family and friends, but for her.for her he'd tear out his own heart. "Kagome, I know you can hear me. I need you. I don't want to live without you." He held up the jar with the Shikon shards in it. "She gave these to me and told me to go on alone. Remember how bad I wanted these things? I
don't care about them anymore. Without you they mean nothing to me." He passed them off to Kaede, who tucked them into her kimono. Inu Yasha licked his lips and tried to laugh a little. "Bet you never thought you'd see me
do that, huh? You have to fight her, Kagome. I have to know if what she said is true.if," he faltered and squeezed his eyes against the tears, "if you really want me and.love me. 'Cause if you do, then I swear in front of all these people-in front of your family-that when we have the whole jewel,
I'll use it to become human and stay with you." The tears flowed freely now. "If you won't fight her, if you won't help us set you free-if you're
lost, Kagome, I don't want to live anymore."
Inu Yasha hugged himself and stared at the wall by her bed, unable to look into eyes that belonged to Kagome but had a demon looking out of them. He wished she'd hold him, then hoped she wouldn't because he'd really lose it in front of them all. He'd just sob and wail like a little baby and beg her
to come back to him, beg and beg and beg like a simpering fool. Then he
decided his pride could go to hell and lay his head down in her lap and
cried. "Please, please, please, Kagome! Don't let her do this to you!"
Sota climbed onto the bed and put his arms around his sister's neck and
cried on her shoulder. "Please fight, Kagome! I know you can do it!
Please?!"
Her mother encouraged her, then her grandfather and Myoga. Shippo snuggled in next to Sota and begged Kagome not to leave him. "If you leave me," he sniffled, "I'll just have this stupid jerk for a friend!" He pointed at Inu
Yasha, who didn't even try to form a come back. "And.and a flea!"
Myoga jumped onto Shippo's shoulder and demanded to know what was so bad about that. "Haven't I been a good friend, Kagome? You have to come back-if only to keep my reckless master out of trouble! And what will I do if he kills himself? I'll be all alone with this mangy furball!" He pointed at Shippo's head, then lost his ability to be witty and started crying, too.
"You can't let Inu Yasha die, Kagome!"
They wept in silence for a while, then Kagome said, quite calmly: "This is what I want. I want love. But you only love Kagome. I can't leave without a
place to go and I destroyed my doll body."
Inu Yasha looked up with hope in his eyes. "Then if we find you another
host, you'll leave Kagome?"
Kagome hesitated, then nodded slowly. "Do you know how lonely I have been, trapped inside a lifeless body? It was cold." A pair of tears slipped from her eyes and down her face to drip onto Inu Yasha's hand. He held the hand to his chest as if he'd found a treasure. "You have very little time. By morning, there will be nothing left of Kagome." She glanced at the clock on
her night stand and recited the time: "It's 1:07am. Better hurry."
Inu Yasha sighed and turned to Kagome's mother. "Where can we find someone
who's dying?"
"Dying?!" Kagome protested, then stopped. "I understand. A dying young girl who is suddenly restored to full health would be even more beloved to her family." She looked away and told them sadly: "Healing such a body would
use the last of my power. I would be fully mortal."
"You would be a normal human being," Kaede corrected her in a kind voice,
"isn't that what you really wanted?"
Kagome's mother stroked her daughter's hair. "You could fall in love, just
as my Kagome has. Perhaps you'll get married and have children and grandchildren. You won't be alone anymore." She dropped her hand suddenly and looked away, unable to keep up the pretense of caring about the demon
who'd taken her little girl's body and soul. "Please let my baby go!"
"Higurashi-san," Inu Yasha asked again, "where can we find such a girl?"
She took several breaths to regain her composure, but before she could reply, Sota exclaimed: "The hospital! I'll bet we could find somebody at a
hospital!"
"In intensive care!" Mom added enthusiastically.
Kagome nudged Inu Yasha out of her way, got up and went to her closet to find something to wear. "I'll have to go with you," she explained, "to make the transfer." When nobody moved to leave, she narrowed her eyes at them
and cleared her throat. "A little privacy?"
Sota's idea proved fruitful, though it took Inu Yasha, Kagome and her mother more than two hours to find a terminally ill teenage girl. Lots of older people, some middle aged, but few young girls. While Kagome and her
mother spoke to the girl's family to determine if the girl would be an acceptable host (while revealing nothing of the truth), Inu Yasha waited in
a tree outside the ailing young woman's window. He could barely see her through all the tubes and machines that were stuck into her body. She was emaciated and frighteningly pale. Her breathing was shallow and labored. Inu Yasha wondered if she'd even make it through the rest of the night if
the demon rejected her. "Please take her!" He prayed.
When Kagome entered the room, his heart leapt for joy. He watched her
approach the girl's bed and reach out a hand to touch her shaven head,
trace a finger along a new scar on her scalp. Then she leaned over and
placed a kiss on the girl's lips. Both girls jerked once, then Kagome leaned back with a look on her face that was a mixture of joy and sadness
and began to cry. After a moment, the other girl's eyes opened. She
blinked, then saw Kagome. The two exchanged a few words, then smiled at each other. With a wink, Kagome took a breath and ran excitedly from the room. Soon the girls' mothers charged in, the sick girl's mother weeping for joy when her daughter spoke to her. They embraced around the tubing. Kagome pressed a button on the wall beside the bed. In a few moments, a man
and a woman in white clothes hurried in. With a smile, Kagome looked
straight at him, pointed out the window, then left the room.
Inu Yasha jumped down from the tree to wait for Kagome-the real Kagome. What would she say? Of course, she'd be grateful to him for saving her, but
what about the other stuff? Would she remember what they'd almost done while she was under the demon's influence? Would she hate him for almost taking advantage? For taking off her skirt? He fidgeted and paced around
the tree. Would she remember that he'd confessed his love for her, that he'd told her he didn't want to live without her? That he'd sworn before her family that he'd use the jewel to become fully human and be with her forever? What would she say about that? A sound! He closed his eyes and sniffed the air, eager to catch her scent on the wind. The cold air froze in his nostrils, but he didn't care because the breeze carried the sweetest fragrance in the world to his nose. Then she was on him, her arms around his neck, her lips pressed against his, their tears mingling between their happy faces. Inu Yasha squeezed her tight, as if afraid she might blow away on the winter wind. He breathed her name into her mouth, then drowned in the sea of sensation that was Kagome. After a long while, she lay her head
against his chest and sighed. "I love you, too, Inu Yasha."
THE END
Inu Yasha savored Kagome her clean scent, the warm softness of her lips,
her warm body against his. Was this really happening? Was it Kagome who wanted him, or was the doll doing this to get him. Was it just another kind of fighting? Break down his defenses, then destroy him inside and out? As her hands moved from his neck to caress his back, he decided he didn't care as long as he had this moment when all she wanted was to be in his arms. Their kisses grew hungrier and hungrier as her hands moved around his sides
to chest, then lower to his hips and around between them to-
Inu Yasha grabbed Kagome's wrist and pushed her away from him with a startled gasp. "No!" He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip against the war inside him between desire and love. Desire said take her now, love said
this isn't Kagome, she's just being used by a demon. He couldn't take
advantage of her when she was like this!
"But.Inu Yasha." She sounded genuinely puzzled. Her big, brown eyes gazed deeply into his, still shimmering with need. All he could do was watch her lips move. "I want you! I thought you wanted me, too!" Tears pooled in her
eyes and threatened to fall.
Inu Yasha's grip on her wrist loosened and he drew her into his embrace again. "Please don't cry, Kagome, you know I can't stand it when you cry." He held her and soothed her, kissing her hair and being far too aware of
her body against his once more.
Her hands reached up to undo the tie on his kimono. "It's warm in here, don't you think?" He let her remove the coat, trembled at the sensation of her soft, gentle hands as they crept beneath his shirt to caress his skin. His heart pounded blood into his vision and his hearing until all he could
hear was throbbing and all he could see was her eyes through a dark red tunnel. Then he was kissing her again, and she pulled his shirt off of his shoulders to hang about his waist. Inu Yasha didn't know when she took off her blouse and bra, but the next thing he knew he could feel her breasts against his chest, her fingernails digging into his back, her hips against
his.
"This isn't Kagome!" A frantic voice screamed in his head. "Kagome wouldn't
throw herself at me like this! She wouldn't undress me, or touch me-oh, gods, there!" His trembling hands unbuttoned, then unzipped her skirt, and
it fell to her ankles in a pool of cotton. "This is too good-no, it's
wrong! Stop it!" That little voice cried to him in his mind, but he couldn't stop. He wanted this so bad. When did her underwear come off? And his pants. "Oh gods, are we really naked? Me, Kagome.alone.naked.Stop it!"
Inu Yasha threw her away from him with a tortured sob. She fell to the floor, and he quickly tossed his shirt over her, turned his back and pulled on his pants. "You're not Kagome," he breathed in a husky voice. "Kagome wouldn't throw herself at me like that. We haven't even.we haven't talked
about us.I don't know what our relationship is.but I know it isn't this yet." He cursed and angrily scrubbed the tears from his cheeks. Turning on her, he snarled: "I love her, and you're turning her into a whore! Let her
go now!" He staggered toward her, dropped to his knees and clutched her shoulders with hands that refused to quit shaking. "Please let her go," he wept, "I'm begging you, demon! Do think I ever beg? I never beg anybody for
anything, but I'll do anything if you'll just let her go!"
Kagome clutched his shirt to her chest and trembled, then suddenly her expression hardened and she jerked herself out from under his grasp. "Do you really think I care what you want?! I have no use for males, I told you that already! I was willing to continue her life as it was, do those things she was already doing, even love the man she loves. She has dreamed of you
and in her dreams the two of you are doing what you won't do! Are you a
man, or a dog? How can you refuse Kagome?"
"I can't refuse Kagome," Inu Yasha told her in a soft, miserable voice,
"but I can refuse the demon who stole her body and soul." He wiped away more tears and said: "Maybe she has dreamed of being with me like that, but she was probably asleep and not in control of her dream. We're not ready to
sleep together, demon, no matter what our dreams might be."
Inu Yasha rose and went to the window. He leaned his arms against the
glass, lay his forehead against them and looked out over the shrine grounds, then beyond to Tokyo, spread before him like a blanket of stars. Kagome's home, where her family and friends and everything familiar to her was. His world was alien, the people strange and maybe even primitive in her eyes, but she still treated everyone as an equal. Even a half-demon who solved every problem with violence, who could face a thousand demons with
unflinching courage but couldn't tell her he loved her to her face. Not
when she was herself, anyway. "What do you want to let her go?"
"You have nothing I want."
He balled his fists against the window pane. "If I could find you a
different host, would you leave her?"
Kagome joined him at the window, leaning against the wall beside it. She wore nothing but his shirt, which hung almost to her knees. Gods, she was
sexy like that! "Her body is soaked with the Jewel's magic. It has permeated every tissue. I can be immortal in her body and retain most of my powers. In a lesser form, I'd lose all of that. Why should I leave Kagome
for another? Unless you have a female demon body in mind.?"
Inu Yasha shook his head. "No. I don't know any that are still alive. I was
thinking of a human-not any human in particular, just-" he paused, the
beginnings of a plan in his mind. He knew what Kagome would want: Find someone who was dying, who wouldn't have a hope of living unless the demon intervened and took over their body, then put the demon into that person.
He certainly couldn't kill Kagome's body to drive out the demon and he
honestly couldn't think of any other alternative if the demon wouldn't
accept another host. "I thought.if there was a human who was dying-"
"You would have me take a body, only to have it die?!" She cried and
started to storm away, but he caught her shoulders again.
"No! I mean, your power could save that person!" He insisted. "Then you'd have a living body! Ok, it'd be mortal, but you'd be alive and have a life!
Isn't that what you wanted?"
She scowled at him. "A demon is immortal. I am immortal."
"Immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be," Inu Yasha snorted.
Kagome raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And you would be mortal, I suppose?"
Would he? Inu Yasha had been thinking about it for months now, just as he'd considered doing it for Kikyo: Use the power of the Shikon Jewel to become a full human, rather than a full demon. He would be mortal and vulnerable but he could be with Kagome. They could marry, maybe even have kids. Not that they couldn't breed the way he was, it was just that.well, she would
be ostracized because of him, surely. His very nature would put her in constant danger from his many demonic enemies, who wouldn't think he was
worth their trouble if he was human. "For her, I would be human."
This seemed to puzzle the demon. She closed her eyes and knitted her brows in thought. After a while, she opened her eyes again and cuddled up against
his chest. "You would become mortal for her, but you won't make love to
her, as she wishes?"
"As you wish," Inu Yasha corrected and forced his arms not to hold her,
"not Kagome."
She shook her head, her hair silk against his skin, and he wept with the force of will it took not to touch her. "I've been inside her for more than a day. I can see her memories, even memories of wishes and daydreams. She doesn't really know what to want, specifically, but she knows she wants you to kiss her and touch her, as you were doing before." Kagome looked up into his face, brushed away his tears with her delicate fingertips. It only made
him cry harder. Then she tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him down for a long, deep kiss. "I know what she wants," she whispered into his mouth and smiled when he lost the battle with his conscience and crushed
her against him.
But just as he had twice before, Inu Yasha's stubborn will won out and he
pushed her away from him. "When you release Kagome, and she can tell me herself-without your influence-that she wants to make love with me, then I'll do it!" With great reluctance, he reclaimed his shirt and got dressed. With one, last, longing look at her standing naked by the window, he ran
from her room, down the stairs and out into the cold winter night.
His feet carried him to the well inside its little shrine, but he couldn't bring himself to jump in. "I can't leave her like this," he moaned, knowing he had to do something to save her, but unable to think of a thing. He'd never felt so utterly hopeless, not even when Kikyo had turned on him and pinned him to the God Tree. All Inu Yasha could do was crouch beside the
well, his arms wrapped tightly about his knees, and sob.
A gentle hand on his hair brought his face up with a start. Kagome knelt
beside him and took him in her arms. "So much love," she whispered. "Is this what it feels like? I feel her love. I feel her sadness because she hurt you, even if it was me doing the hurting. She can't bear to see you in pain. I will not approach you like that again, Inu Yasha." Kagome sighed, a gust of warm air that sent a chill down his spine. "I can see it will be impossible for us to be together now that I am Kagome, so take these and continue the search alone." She pressed the jar with the shards into his
hand and squeezed his fingers around it. Then she rose and left without another word, the only sounds those of her silk bathrobe shuffing against
her legs.
Inu Yasha stared unseeing at the tiny jar in his palm. All those times he'd tried to take this from her, had tried to keep the shards for himself-and
now that he had them, he didn't want them. What good was becoming Human
without her? He didn't even want to be a full demon without her. No, he didn't want to live without her. Therefore, he had to come up with a plan to get the demon out of Kagome and fast. He had a feeling he was up against a stone-cold deadline, a point of no return, after which there could be no
separating the human girl from the demon doll. Since his brain wouldn't work, that meant finding brains that did, and that meant going back in time
where his allies were.
Resolved, Inu Yasha crawled into the well and dropped through time, crawled
out again and flew to Kaede's, fervently hoping the old woman wasn't so
torn with grief that she'd be unable to think. And Myouga had better be there, too, and that whelp Shippo. Surely their fondness for Kagome would
propel their minds into unheard of feats of strategic genius, or there
really was no hope.
The lights burned brightly in the windows of Kaede's house, and Inu Yasha
caught a glimpse of the old woman moving about inside. Good! Kaede was there! He alighted outside her door, pushed back the flap and stood just inside the door until she sensed someone watching her and turned around.
"Inu Yasha!" She exclaimed, then: "But.you're alone. Where's Kagome? What
happened?"
He stepped up into the house proper and seated himself dejectedly by the fire. For the first time since he was a child he genuinely wanted someone to hold him and make it all better, but the only one he wanted to hold him was Kagome and the only thing that would make it all better was freeing her
from the demon. "The demon still has her, but otherwise, I guess she's
alright."
His voice was almost too quiet to hear and had a roughness Kaede knew too well from the months she'd spent weeping for her sister. She sat down next to him and hesitantly lay her hand on his knee. "Tell me what happened,"
she urged him gently, "take you time."
Inu Yasha shook his head, and a tear rolled down his cheek. "We don't have
time. Where are Shippo and Myoga? We need to make a plan."
"They went for a walk," Kaede replied, "to think. Don't worry: They can't
get through the well without the shards or Kagome willing them through.
They'll be back soon."
"I didn't see them when I came out of the well," he said in dull voice.
Gods, the only emotion he could muster was pain. Pain and desperation. "They can't do anything for her, anyway. The demon has no use for males." Except as sexual partners, but Inu Yasha didn't say that aloud. Memories of those few minutes he had held Kagome and felt her naked flesh against his own tormented him. Her scent was still in his nose, the satiny texture of her flesh still on his fingers, the taste of her mouth still on his tongue.
He didn't realize how hard he was crying until Kaede began stroking his hair. Quickly, he wiped the moisture from his face but didn't refuse her touch. He had no memory of a grandmother, so for tonight Kaede would do. "The doll.the demon made Kagome." he struggled to put into words what had happened, decided it wasn't Kaede's business, changed his mind. "She made
Kagome try to-"
"Shhh," Kaede soothed. She patted his shoulder and went to fix him
something to eat. "I understand. That wasn't Kagome, Inu Yasha, just
remember that."
"I know!" He shot back, inwardly glad he didn't have to put into words what had transpired between him and Kagome that night. "I tried to talk her into
letting Kagome go. I begged her, old woman! When have I ever begged? I offered myself. I told her I'd do anything-give her anything, if she'd just let Kagome go, but she refused. But," Inu Yasha mopped his face some more,
"I think Kagome is still in there."
He took the jar with the shards out of his coat and held them up for Kaede to see. She gasped in disbelief and reached out to take them, but he put
them away before her hand came close. "She said she could feel Kagome's pain at seeing me hurt. So she gave these to me and said I should continue
the search alone."
Kaede set a bowl of rice and pickles before him, then sat down on the other
side of the fire. "It sounds like Kagome has some influence over this
demon. That gives me an idea."
Inu Yasha had no appetite and didn't touch the food she gave him. The sake she offered, however, went down in a gulp. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve
and asked: "Tell me this idea of yours."
"Kagome is a strong girl, as you well know," the old priestess began with a
little smile; an image had leapt into her mind of Kagome forcing Inu Yasha's face in the dirt by very casually saying "sit". "Perhaps she can be
reached past the demon and convinced to fight for herself and force the
demon out of her body. But she would need strong motivation to fight."
Inu Yasha gave her a grim smile. "Leave that part to me," he pushed the sake bowl away, suddenly wanting very much to remain sober. "I think I can
convince her family to help, as well."
Kaede raised an eyebrow. "What are you planning, Inu Yasha?"
"She seemed," he hesitated to reveal the truth of his feelings by repeating
the demon's words. Ah well, the old witch was pretty perceptive. She'd probably already figured it out. "Love really moved her. She said 'so much love. Is this what it feels like?' I think." he blushed and looked away, "I
think she was feeling what Kagome feels for.for me."
"Not what you feel for her?" Kaede prompted gently.
Inu Yasha bowed his head but still couldn't meet her eyes. "I already told her what I felt, so she knew," he took a couple of deep breaths and added: "She knows I.I love Kagome." There, he'd said it. Confession made. Let the
teasing begin. No, there would be no teasing, not tonight, not the way things were. And yet, teasing would have made things seem right somehow,
like it was ok, like everything would work out.
Kaede said: "I could tell. You've never been subtle, Inu Yasha." She smiled at him with more warmth than she was wont to show anyone ordinarily, but these circumstances were special. This was Kikyo's second chance to have the love she'd lost so long ago. Kaede said a quick, silent prayer to her sister's spirit, asking her to lend Kagome her strength, then said to Inu Yasha: "If anything will give Kagome the strength to free herself from the demon, it's your love." Her smile broadened. "She's not too subtle, either, you know. Even if she hasn't told you yet, I can tell what she feels for
you. Just don't blow it this time."
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Inu Yasha protested with some of his old
angst, but Kaede just chuckled.
Just then Shippo burst in the door, followed closely by Myoga who hopped straight onto his master's rosary and cried: "Thank the gods you're safe!
Where's Kagome?"
Shippo plopped himself next to Inu Yasha and began eating the other demon's
untouched dinner. "Is she ok? Recovering from the demon, huh?"
Inu Yasha gawked at them. They just assumed he'd succeed! The idea of Inu Yasha failing to save their beloved Kagome from peril was so unthinkable, those two couldn't even accept the possibility. There was Shippo, happily shoveling rice into his face, and Myoga sucking away at Inu Yasha's neck
like everything was great and Kagome would join them in a few days to resume their quest for the jewel shards. "You idiots!" Inu Yasha roared. He pinched Myoga off his neck and tossed him into Shippo's rice bowl. "She's not ok! The demon won't let her go, and I wasn't about to kill Kagome to
make her! We still have work to do, and you morons are sitting there
stuffing your faces like it's New Year's day!"
"She's not alright?" Shippo asked in astonishment. "I can't believe you just left her when she's still possessed!" The fox jumped up, scattering
his meal and the flea all over the floor, and threw himself onto Inu
Yasha's throat. "How could you leave her?!"
Inu Yasha picked Shippo off of him and threw him at Kaede, who caught the
little kitsune and held onto him while Inu Yasha explained the plan. "I want you to come with me," Inu Yasha said. He stood in the doorway, looking
out onto the dark village and shivering in the winter wind. Cold. He'd never felt the cold before, but then he'd never had the heat of Kagome's kiss to compare it to. "All of you, if you think you can make the trip. She gave me the shards, so I should be able to get us through the well. I want her family to help us-everybody who loves her. Even that Hojo punk, if I thought I could find him. Kagome needs a reason to fight, and love seems to
be the thing that has the most affect on the demon."
"And since you love her most of all." Myoga began but let the thought trail off into silence. His master didn't argue with him for once, just nodded
and went back to staring at the night.
Shippo went to stand beside Inu Yasha and put a tiny hand on his friend's
leg. "I'm ready to go now, if you are."
"So am I," added Myoga.
Kaede said: "Let me tell the elders I'll be talking a short trip, then I'll
be ready to leave, as well."
Inu Yasha nodded. As he walked out into the cold, he said: "I'll wait for
you at the well, but I won't wait long."
Kagome awoke with a start to find the lights on and her bedroom full of
people. Her mother, her brother, her grandfather, Shippo, Myoga, Kaede
and.him. "Inu Yasha," she said with a deep, serious frown, "I thought I
told you I didn't want to see you anymore."
A pain went through his heart for an instant, but Inu Yasha reminded himself that Kagome wasn't in control. Obviously, the demon didn't realize yet what was up and thought her family would take her side. How wrong she was. "You don't want to see me anymore because you know I'm Kagome's best
reason for fighting you." He gestured to the others in the room with a sweep of his arm. "Love is a force you can't defeat, isn't it? Here's her family and her friends from my time. I would've brought her friends from
here, but I don't know where to find them and I don't think they'd
understand about you."
Kagome's grandfather had a rosary in his hand and was busily praying on it.
"Demon! By the love I have for my granddaughter, I command you to come
out!" He shook the beads at Kagome, who just stared at him like he'd
sprouted wings. Gramps shook the beads even harder and commanded more
loudly: "COME OUT!"
"That won't work," Kaede advised him.
"But she's possessed!" He protested. "An exorcism is what's needed here!"
Kaede shook her head. "This is no ordinary possession. The doll has become Kagome, but there's still a part of Kagome that can respond to us. You need
to appeal to Kagome, not the demon."
Inu Yasha held up a hand for silence. "Leave this to me." In front of all these people. Oh, gods, Kagome, you don't know what this is costing me! He sat on the edge of her bed, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he
opened his eyes again, he looked deeply into hers and spoke to her in a
gentle, careful voice. Each word hurt like hell to say in front of her
family and friends, but for her.for her he'd tear out his own heart. "Kagome, I know you can hear me. I need you. I don't want to live without you." He held up the jar with the Shikon shards in it. "She gave these to me and told me to go on alone. Remember how bad I wanted these things? I
don't care about them anymore. Without you they mean nothing to me." He passed them off to Kaede, who tucked them into her kimono. Inu Yasha licked his lips and tried to laugh a little. "Bet you never thought you'd see me
do that, huh? You have to fight her, Kagome. I have to know if what she said is true.if," he faltered and squeezed his eyes against the tears, "if you really want me and.love me. 'Cause if you do, then I swear in front of all these people-in front of your family-that when we have the whole jewel,
I'll use it to become human and stay with you." The tears flowed freely now. "If you won't fight her, if you won't help us set you free-if you're
lost, Kagome, I don't want to live anymore."
Inu Yasha hugged himself and stared at the wall by her bed, unable to look into eyes that belonged to Kagome but had a demon looking out of them. He wished she'd hold him, then hoped she wouldn't because he'd really lose it in front of them all. He'd just sob and wail like a little baby and beg her
to come back to him, beg and beg and beg like a simpering fool. Then he
decided his pride could go to hell and lay his head down in her lap and
cried. "Please, please, please, Kagome! Don't let her do this to you!"
Sota climbed onto the bed and put his arms around his sister's neck and
cried on her shoulder. "Please fight, Kagome! I know you can do it!
Please?!"
Her mother encouraged her, then her grandfather and Myoga. Shippo snuggled in next to Sota and begged Kagome not to leave him. "If you leave me," he sniffled, "I'll just have this stupid jerk for a friend!" He pointed at Inu
Yasha, who didn't even try to form a come back. "And.and a flea!"
Myoga jumped onto Shippo's shoulder and demanded to know what was so bad about that. "Haven't I been a good friend, Kagome? You have to come back-if only to keep my reckless master out of trouble! And what will I do if he kills himself? I'll be all alone with this mangy furball!" He pointed at Shippo's head, then lost his ability to be witty and started crying, too.
"You can't let Inu Yasha die, Kagome!"
They wept in silence for a while, then Kagome said, quite calmly: "This is what I want. I want love. But you only love Kagome. I can't leave without a
place to go and I destroyed my doll body."
Inu Yasha looked up with hope in his eyes. "Then if we find you another
host, you'll leave Kagome?"
Kagome hesitated, then nodded slowly. "Do you know how lonely I have been, trapped inside a lifeless body? It was cold." A pair of tears slipped from her eyes and down her face to drip onto Inu Yasha's hand. He held the hand to his chest as if he'd found a treasure. "You have very little time. By morning, there will be nothing left of Kagome." She glanced at the clock on
her night stand and recited the time: "It's 1:07am. Better hurry."
Inu Yasha sighed and turned to Kagome's mother. "Where can we find someone
who's dying?"
"Dying?!" Kagome protested, then stopped. "I understand. A dying young girl who is suddenly restored to full health would be even more beloved to her family." She looked away and told them sadly: "Healing such a body would
use the last of my power. I would be fully mortal."
"You would be a normal human being," Kaede corrected her in a kind voice,
"isn't that what you really wanted?"
Kagome's mother stroked her daughter's hair. "You could fall in love, just
as my Kagome has. Perhaps you'll get married and have children and grandchildren. You won't be alone anymore." She dropped her hand suddenly and looked away, unable to keep up the pretense of caring about the demon
who'd taken her little girl's body and soul. "Please let my baby go!"
"Higurashi-san," Inu Yasha asked again, "where can we find such a girl?"
She took several breaths to regain her composure, but before she could reply, Sota exclaimed: "The hospital! I'll bet we could find somebody at a
hospital!"
"In intensive care!" Mom added enthusiastically.
Kagome nudged Inu Yasha out of her way, got up and went to her closet to find something to wear. "I'll have to go with you," she explained, "to make the transfer." When nobody moved to leave, she narrowed her eyes at them
and cleared her throat. "A little privacy?"
Sota's idea proved fruitful, though it took Inu Yasha, Kagome and her mother more than two hours to find a terminally ill teenage girl. Lots of older people, some middle aged, but few young girls. While Kagome and her
mother spoke to the girl's family to determine if the girl would be an acceptable host (while revealing nothing of the truth), Inu Yasha waited in
a tree outside the ailing young woman's window. He could barely see her through all the tubes and machines that were stuck into her body. She was emaciated and frighteningly pale. Her breathing was shallow and labored. Inu Yasha wondered if she'd even make it through the rest of the night if
the demon rejected her. "Please take her!" He prayed.
When Kagome entered the room, his heart leapt for joy. He watched her
approach the girl's bed and reach out a hand to touch her shaven head,
trace a finger along a new scar on her scalp. Then she leaned over and
placed a kiss on the girl's lips. Both girls jerked once, then Kagome leaned back with a look on her face that was a mixture of joy and sadness
and began to cry. After a moment, the other girl's eyes opened. She
blinked, then saw Kagome. The two exchanged a few words, then smiled at each other. With a wink, Kagome took a breath and ran excitedly from the room. Soon the girls' mothers charged in, the sick girl's mother weeping for joy when her daughter spoke to her. They embraced around the tubing. Kagome pressed a button on the wall beside the bed. In a few moments, a man
and a woman in white clothes hurried in. With a smile, Kagome looked
straight at him, pointed out the window, then left the room.
Inu Yasha jumped down from the tree to wait for Kagome-the real Kagome. What would she say? Of course, she'd be grateful to him for saving her, but
what about the other stuff? Would she remember what they'd almost done while she was under the demon's influence? Would she hate him for almost taking advantage? For taking off her skirt? He fidgeted and paced around
the tree. Would she remember that he'd confessed his love for her, that he'd told her he didn't want to live without her? That he'd sworn before her family that he'd use the jewel to become fully human and be with her forever? What would she say about that? A sound! He closed his eyes and sniffed the air, eager to catch her scent on the wind. The cold air froze in his nostrils, but he didn't care because the breeze carried the sweetest fragrance in the world to his nose. Then she was on him, her arms around his neck, her lips pressed against his, their tears mingling between their happy faces. Inu Yasha squeezed her tight, as if afraid she might blow away on the winter wind. He breathed her name into her mouth, then drowned in the sea of sensation that was Kagome. After a long while, she lay her head
against his chest and sighed. "I love you, too, Inu Yasha."
THE END