Harry Potter and the otter 2
Harry was disappointed that his otter friend had been eaten for breakfast on purpose. So, he went in the Otters Daily Magazine and found a river otter up for adoption. "Ginny dear!" he called to his wife in the kitchen.
"What the fuck do you need now!!" his wife came in to the living room wild eyed. Her wand was snapped in half hanging from her apron pocket and a rat was dangling by its tail in her hand.
"Do you think I could afford another otter?" Harry threw the magazine into her hands causing her to drop the rat, which exploded.
"You couldn't even take care of a goddamn germ!" Ginny threw the magazine on the floor and spat on it. "Also we are having duck tonight! A goddamn duck! Look how goddamn poor we are…" She wandered out of the room like a mental penguin.
"I am goin' to fetch some McDonalds. I don't want ah' goddamn duck tonight." Harry stood up, stuffed his Playwitch magazine in his jacket sleeve, grabbed his broom and flew off to the nearest McDonalds.
"Hello, this is McDonalds how may I help you." drawled a South American accent from the speaker.
"I want the duck nuggets." He pulled down the sun shade protection thingy and checked out his teeth. Harry heard some honks behind him and stepped on the pedal. Life sucked balls off Eric. It really did.
Later the night when Harry was bored of playing poker with Ron, he started watching QFUN on the sports channel. When a commercial came up about otters for sale with no tax, he flipped out. He rushed over to the phone, dialed the number on the screen, and got himself an otter for 9.99.
The next day when Ginny found an otter shitting all over her front step, she flipped and beat it with a stick until Harry saw what was happening.
The next few days Ginny threatened to sign divorce papers. Harry knew that he had to get away with her (with the otter) somehow so he crashed at Ron's place for awhile.
The otter was named Gregory, in Ron's favor, and was the best damn thing Harry had ever had (besides the other otter). The only problem was it ate the sofa and had fecel problems for a week. Harry was not too happy about that.