A/N: Just a random thing that I came up with this morning while working on chapter 8 of Hope and Power. So of course, I had to write it down... 'cause that's just how I roll.
For those of you that haven't read Hope and Power, the basic premise of this poem is that Rex went through a lot of really terrible things after the establishment of the Empire – namely, participating in Order 66, carrying out Vader's dirty work for a whole year afterwards, and then starting a rebellion of his own after deserting that ended with all of his fellow rebels getting massacred by Imperial troops (including Kix, Boil and Gregor – he survives that blast in my headcanon...). He's pretty much reached a breaking point.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Captain Rex, or anything else in this poem except for his post-Order 66 experiences as lined out here.
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Another day of living
Why can I not just waste away?
Why do I still cling tight to life
Even now
WhenI have nothing?
...
The clinking of bottles
The breaking of glass
My head is swimming in the fog
I cannot think –
Good – I would not have it
For thinking hurts
Horrendously
...
The lights are dimming
Do I see a face?
Nay – it is not so
They are all gone
Every one
And I will always be alone
...
What say you now
To see a hero –
A soldier –
Driven over the edge?
What say you, friend, of me?
...
Another day of failing
I cannot seem to get it right
I failed them all
I killed them all
What kind of monster have I become?
...
I sleep, I dream, I see myself
A murderer
A failure
My usefulness was fantasy
I am nothing, nothing at all
...
A child sobs as I gun him down
Extinguishing his tender flame
A family cries from the end of the hall
As the monster –
My master –
Destroys them
...
Screams and wails are all about
The forests of Onderon burn red
Above my head, the fighters come
My comrades drop like flies in their wrath
And only I have escaped
...
I awaken
It is as before
The cold, the drink, the sickness
I am wretched
And want to die
But I cannot
Why can I not?
...
Let me burn –
I want to burn –
Let this wretched existence end!
Or, if you would have it
Show me hope
And teach me to fight once again.