Brendan walked towards the deli, not quite sure whether he hoped Ste would be there, or not. As he got to the door he saw Ste through the window and felt a burning sensation inside himself. Typical. As soon as Ste saw him he looked away, this bugged Brendan a little, but he walked into the deli anyway.
''Stephen'' Brendan greeted him politely, Ste only nodded his head slightly in return, irritating Brendan a little more.
''Off with me are ye?'' Brendan teased him, but Ste just glared at him and he realised now wasn't the time for humour. Ste walked behind the counter and leaned against it with his fingers pinched between his eyes.
''Brendan, unless you're gonna buy somethin' I'm really not in the mood for you joking around.'' There was something wrong with Ste and Brendan was going to find out.
''What's bothering ye, Stephen? I'm sorry I didn't mean to annoy ye..'' Ste could tell he was being genuine and calmed down, relaxing his previously tense position and slouching back against the wall.
''It's nothin' really, Bren, don't worry.'' He said whilst forcing a smile that didn't fool Brendan for a second.
''Come on, I'll take ye for a coffee, looks like ye could use a break from this place.'' Ste knew there was no point arguing, so he grabbed his jacket and locked up the deli.
Brendan came back to the table where they were sat with two coffee's, one in each hand, and placed one down in front of Ste, and the other in front of himself.
''Right, so what's up with ye then?'' Ste hesitated at the question, not sure whether to lie or to just tell him the truth. He decided against lying, seen as no one knew him better than Brendan, and therefore it was pointless as he'd realise he was making something up anyway.
''It's my step dad, Terry, he's come back for me...'' Brendan could sense the terror not only in Stephen's voice but also in the way that his hands trembled along with his lower lip. Brendan felt a surge of what could only be described as love at that moment; he shook it off, surprising himself that he felt like this.
''What's that bastard doing here?'' Ste sensed the anger in Brendan's voice.
''He called me, I don't even know how he got me' number, but I knew it was him straight away, could tell by that voice.. Said I was gonna get what I deserved. Said I was nothin' but a queer and I needed it beaten out of me..'' Ste whimpered slightly at the last line he had spoken, scared of what was going to happen to him, and not knowing when it would, either.
''And you think I'd let that scum hurt ye, Stephen? He's going to have me to deal with before he goes anywhere near ye, do ye hear me?'' With that Ste relaxed a bit, and sipped his coffee.
Brendan warily put his hand lightly over Ste's, reassuring him that he was there for him. To his surprise, Ste kept his hand there, looking content for a moment, before swiftly moving both of his hands into his own lap, looking downwards, shyly and sadly. Brendan knew what he had done to him in the past had made him wary and insecure like this. For that he felt terrible, knowing that Ste couldn't trust him, even though Brendan trusted him more than anyone.
They both finished their coffee's and walked out of the cafe, slowly.
''I'll walk ye home'' Brendan said, looking around them, warily, as they walked out of the cafe.
''No, Brendan, honestly you don't have to do that y'know, I'm fine, really.'' Brendan looked down at Ste with disbelief after what he had just told him in the cafe, and Ste knew he had lost this battle already and consequently let him walk him home, secretly glad of the gesture.
When they got to the front door, Ste fumbled around in his pockets for his keys, and quickly opened the door, not sure whether he wanted to get away from Brendan, or if he wanted to invite him in before he walked away.
As the door swung open, Ste gasped in shock. Everything was wrecked. The whole flat had been completely trashed, and as they went inside and looked around there wasn't one room that had been missed out.
Ste fell to his knees and began to sob, knowing who had done this. It was a warning from Terry, to scare Ste, and it had worked for sure.
''Fuck sake! Asshole! Why the fuck does he do this shit to me?!'' Ste couldn't stop screaming and crying all at once, so many emotions were running through his mind and it was all too much. Until he felt an arm around him. Brendan was kneeling down next to Ste and pulled him into his side, hugging him, and almost cradling him in his arms, telling him to calm down and reassuring him that everything would be okay.
''Don't worry, the fucker's gonna get what's coming for him..'' Brendan said calmly as he soothed Ste and stroked his hair gently.
After a short while, Ste calmed down, and composed himself. He stood up, and felt helpless, not knowing what to do next.
''Right, c'mon, you're staying at my place. This is in no state for living in. I'll ring the insurance company in the morning, so please, try not to worry too much?'' Ste nodded and followed Brendan back to his house, too exhausted from what had happened to object.
''Thanks, Bren. I really appreciate this, it's good of ya.'' Ste said, not quite with it, but conscious enough to talk properly, an improvement from before.
''It's my pleasure, Stephen. You can sleep in my bed, I'll take the sofa.'' He smiled at Ste and walked to the kitchen to make them something to eat as it was getting late by now and he realised they hadn't eaten.
''Bacon sandwich good?'' He raised his voice from the kitchen so Ste could hear him from the sofa that he was now sitting on. ''Sorry I know it's nothing special, but ye know me and cooking, it always seems to somehow get burnt, and this is about the only thing I can cook properly.'' He said, letting out a low chuckle.
''That's great, cheers Bren.''
Whilst Ste could hear the noises of the bacon sizzling, and Brendan quietly cursing every so often whilst attempting to cook, Ste sat in silence, thinking about what had happened, and how even though he was shocked about it, he wasn't as scared anymore. He knew that Brendan meant what he said earlier that he wouldn't let Terry hurt him, and he trusted him with that. Brendan always seemed to be there for him, no matter what, and it never went unnoticed by Ste.
Once they had finished the food Brendan had cooked, which was surprisingly tasty, -he had remembered exactly how Ste liked his bacon done. ''I did it all crispy for ye, just how ye like it. God knows why, mind.'' He had smiled after that and Ste had giggled- he brought Ste some pyjamas, a baggy top and some trackies, and left him alone to change.
When he came back, they sat together on the sofa for a while. Ste began to drift off, his head every so often falling slowly downwards, before he suddenly woke up, startled, and then his eyes would start to droop again. Ste quickly fell asleep, and Brendan felt him sagging onto his shoulder as he lightly snored. This made him smile, as he remembered the times when they would lie in bed together, Ste falling asleep first almost every time, and then Brendan being able to watch him, staring at him in all his perfection, with no one to see, and no one to care. They were some of his favourite times, the ones he treasured the most.
Ste murmured something in his sleep, stirring, and snapping Brendan out of his thoughts.
''Bren...erhhh sorry Bren mmmm love yer...mmhmm''
Love me? Brendan's stomach pounded with butterflies when he heard this, just knowing Ste was dreaming about him was enough to make him internally sing, but saying he loved him... There were no words to describe the feeling. Except that he knew he loved him too, and that would never change, even if he had only said it in his sleep.
Brendan sighed, realising that Ste might not have even meant it, and rested his head gently on Ste's, putting a loving arm around him, and then gradually drifted off to sleep.
Brendan was awoken by Ste shaking and fidgeting, forehead coated with a thin layer of sweat and tears streaming down his face.
''Stephen...Stephen! Wake up, you're having a bad dream'' Brendan softly shook his shoulders trying to wake him up, and Ste opened his eyes, dazed.
''Bren...shit was I talking in my sleep or summin?'' Ste's cheeks flushing a deep pink.
''No, no don't worry you weren't'' he lied. ''You were having a nightmare, I thought I should wake you up..''
''Oh right, sorry, silly me ey'?'' Ste said with a shaky laugh that didn't fool Brendan for a second, Ste looked scared. Brendan pulled him into his arms, not even caring that they weren't together, but just wanting to comfort him and make him feel safe. Ste snuggled into Brendan and rested his head under Brendan's chin. It felt so right to be holding him like this, feeling his warmth against him and he swore he never wanted it to end. Forever wasn't long enough when it came to Stephen Hay.
Brendan tried to shake off these feelings he was having, but he always found it difficult with Ste. Whenever they were together, he couldn't deny the love he had for this boy, it consumed him in ways he didn't even understand.
Brendan looked down at Ste, feeling content, and Ste looked up at him, sensing his gaze on him. Brendan cupped his face with both hands, stroking his cheek rhythmically to the sound of Ste's breaths, which were getting significantly faster. Ste slowly leaned in towards him, and closed his eyes, Brendan leaning in too, willingly, and their lips touched, lightly at first. Ste drew back, looking into Brendan's eyes, as if he was making sure that it was real. Brendan gently pulled Ste's face back to his, kissing him deeper this time, giving Ste a sense of certainty, that this was really happening.
Ste responded to this, adjusting his position so he was straddling Brendan on the sofa, arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to him and kissing him with more urgency than before, almost like his life depended on this moment, like he needed Brendan right now more than anything else in the world. Brendan curled his fingers around Ste's waist and pulled him closer, stroking his back up and down and opening his mouth, invading Ste's with his tongue.
This was how it should be, and the thought of them being apart for all this time made Brendan feel sick. How could he of been living his life every day, knowing that this beautiful boy had been right in front of him the whole time. He knew he didn't deserve him, that Ste would probably be better off without him, but the pull he had towards him was too much to ignore, and Brendan didn't want to fight it anymore, couldn't fight it anymore.