A/N: Inspired by '12 Stones: Lie to Me'...amazing song that made me think of Dean and Castiel I think someone should do a FanVideo using it, but I can't do those very well, so I write :) Anyways, read, enjoy, review, and I own nothing but my ideas.
Superman. How could one word hold so much meaning? It spelt betrayal, screamed deceit, and burned the last thread of hope left alive inside Dean. He had gotten over Sam's betrayal by blaming it on Ruby. Who could he blame Castiel's actions on? The angel—his angel—could only have known of their conversation if he was spying, after all.
And like that, he knew Sam and Bobby were right. As angry as he wanted to be at them for being right, he knew he couldn't. They hadn't wanted to be right, after all. They were just the only ones who had managed to keep a clear head.
Where Cas was concerned, Dean wasn't known for keeping a clear head.
And when they called him, he didn't want to have a part in any of their questions. He didn't want to know what had driven his angel to such lengths, to feel like he had to work with Crowley of all Demons. But then Cas said he had done it for him…for Dean.
"Don't…don't you dare say any of this was for me." He felt his voice shake on the command, desperate to maintain the effect that being betrayed by the only being in the world he felt he could trust without restraint had broken his trust. "And don't stand there and act like an angel. If God was paying any attention, you'd have fallen by now."
"Dean…"
"And I can't believe you of all…beings…would try to fucking play hero alone. You think Sam or I want the fucking Apocolpyse? You think we would have turned our backs on you?" He felt his heart break in two when Cas looked away; to know he had hit the nail on the head was a wake-up call.
"Cas, why would you think that?"
"I was in a war with Raphael. I had pulled Sam from the pit, but he refused to have anything to do with you. I…"
"Wait, what?" Sam had decided, hearing his name, this was where he should interrupt. "You pulled me out?" Cas nodded, and Dean swallowed the lump in his throat. Yet again, Cas had tried to help. Yet again, Dean had failed the angel. "No offense, Cas, but you did a pretty piss-poor job of it." Dean wondered how different the Pit had been from the perdition he'd pulled Dean from.
"Wait…did you bring me back soulless on purpose?" Dean's head snapped to meet the angel's eyes. Of the three present mortals, Dean had the most experience reading Cas. Lately, that experience seemed to be failing him, but Sam or Bobby had less than him. Relief flooded him when Cas's immediate reaction was disgust and rage. From the angel, emotion that vivid with that quick of a reaction implied he was appalled Sam had even asked.
"No, I…Dean…you have to trust me…"
"I don't have to do anything for you, Cas." The words caused the angel to shiver, though Dean wasn't sure if that pleased him or not.
"Believe what you will, Dean, but I did this for you. It was the only way to avert the Apocalypse again while giving you the life you wanted."
"The life I wanted? Were you blind? I cared for Lisa, I was proud of Ben…Cas…I loved you." Loved…past tense. It had to be past tense, because saying he still loved Castiel meant he couldn't kill him like he knew he might have to. "And you should have come to us, because we would have dealt with it like we always have."
"It sounds so simple when you say it like that…where were you when I needed to hear it?" Dean straightened up, full of disappointment.
"I was right here, waiting for you to catch on."
"Dean…"
"I want you to do something, Cas. Do your little time-turner crap and go back to any day during my "Apple-Pie Life". Ask me to help you; see what I say."
"It would create a…"
"So fix it after like you did with Titanic. I want you to know exactly how bad you screwed up," he said, glaring at Cas. "I'll even let you out of the hellfire."
"Dean…"
"Shut up, Sam. Call it a social experiment, but he owes me this at the very least. Cas?" The hunter turned his deadly green eyes on his angel and waited for a response. He had his head cocked in a way Dean still found irritatingly adorable. Now, though, it only furthered his irritation.
"Very well," Cas conceded. Dean doused the hellfire and turned his back on Castiel, waiting for Sam and Bobby to follow him.
It wasn't until they reached the Impala that the pair, who had remained mostly silent, finally chose to speak up.
"Dean, what the hell was that?" Sam grabbed his brother's shoulder. "You just let him go?"
"We can't get rid of him yet." Dean winced at the last word; he didn't want to get rid of his angel ever. Inside, his heart was still breaking at Castiel's complete disregard for his admittance. He had only said the seemingly cursed word to few people in the world. Even fewer of those people were currently living.
And Castiel had skipped over that part in their conversation like it didn't exist. Like it was insignificant.
"But Dean…"
"Sam! We may not be able to trust Castiel…" He almost choked. "…but you are going to have to trust me to deal with this right now. At least for the time being, accept that we can't kill him. Accept that I need him to do what I asked. And accept that, should it come to it, I won't hesitate." His brother backed away for a moment, stunned.
Sam knew what it took for him to say what he had. He knew how much harder Castiel's betrayal was for his brother. He knew saying he had to kill the angel was equivalent to having to kill Sam.
Dropping his hand, he nodded and was content to sit in the passenger seat, wondering when he had missed the signs of his brother being in love with an angel. Bobby held back to say a few more words.
"Boy, take it from someone who's been there…that's not your angel anymore," Bobby whispered. Dean knew he was speaking from experience, but it didn't help to hear. "You have to remember that."
"No, Bobby," he whispered. "Right now, it is still Cas. Maybe barely, but he's in there. And maybe I can't bring him back, but I can keep him there a little longer. Because the longer I keep him there…" He felt the first tear slip down. "…the longer I can deny that I failed him."
"Dean…"
"He brought me back from Hell," he went on, ignoring Bobby's hand on his shoulder, "and I couldn't help him stay away from it. What did I say that made him feel like a dream of something I thought I could never have was more important than what I did have? I had him, Bobby!"
"Dean…"
"God, I feel so stupid!"
"Dean!" The hunter stopped his uncharacteristic outer monologue and glanced at Bobby, waiting for the father-figure to berate him.
"What?" But Bobby wasn't looking at him; he was looking past him. Dean registered Sam's door open again and he realized few things brought the look of terror to Bobby's face. One of them was a seemingly unbeatable enemy…
Sure enough, he turned around to see Castiel, looking heartbreakingly hopeless.
"That was a fast time travel," Dean commented as nonchalantly as he could.
"I have not gone yet," the angel admitted. "Crowley is coming, and I had to make sure you were safe."
"What?" Halfway through the word, he felt the familiar tug and by the end of his question, they were back in Bobby's living room. He spotted the Impala in the yard. "Cas…"
"I have to go back so he does not come here. Dean…" The hunter forced himself to look at Cas. He couldn't understand why he was the one everyone seemed to betray. Ruby had betrayed Sam, but Dean had constantly warned Sam. It was Sam who had left his brother in a motel room as he went off to inadvertently start the Apocalypse.
And it was Castiel running off to meet Crowley to do a seedy deal that could have easily been avoided had Cas only trusted him enough.
"Cas." It was the only thing he had left to say. Castiel's eyes found his for a brief moment before the angel moved with unnatural speed to stand in front of Dean and place his lips lightly on the hunter's lips.
It was short, but Dean felt something fill him from within, like peace and safety. It felt beautiful, like pure light, but it wasn't perfect. Because deep within his own soul, he felt something dark trying to capture him.
"I did this for you, Dean. I love you, even if you do not feel the same anymore. I did it because I thought I could protect you. It seems you do not want my protection anymore. Stay safe." And with an audible flap of invisible wings, Dean's protector was gone.
Sam and Bobby pretended they hadn't seen anything, but Dean didn't care, because his angel was truly gone. Truly fallen.
The feeling of evil still touched at his soul and made him feel unclean and dirty now that the angel was gone. Cas had taken everything except his mark of evil, slowly eating away at the light. Cas was still there, as Dean had said, but he was slipping away.
And Dean, a mere mortal, could do nothing to get his angel back.
The short meeting with Crowley had not gone according to plan, but he had gotten the demon to promise not to harm the Winchesters.
Now, he was standing in the same backyard he had watched Dean rake leaves in nearly a year previous. Lisa and Ben were at a school event of some sort, though they would not have seen the angel if they had been home.
He had made Dean a promise, and he could spare a few hours to return to that afternoon and satisfy his—and Dean's—curiosity.
A/N: There will be more at some point. This is currently a two-shot in my mind. There will probably only be one or two more chapters. I want to write Castiel's flashback and rewrite the scene between Dean and Castiel at Bobby's house, so probably two chapters. It's one of my first short stories...normally I go for the long ones that take forever (I don't finish many of those).
Anyways, Review!