My head leans back against the wall as I stare up at the ceiling, then down at the floor. There are exactly 23 tiles on the floor and for a minute while I was counting I forgot that I was waiting for the phone to ring. Its humorous really, I pulled the phone into the bathroom and I'm sitting in the bath tub. But if Donna saw me waiting by the phone..questions would be asked and I wasn't in the mood for the pinciotti questionnaire

ring. There it was. The moment of truth. With the second ring the reciever is to my ear and my voice is trying to find its sound while my tongue searches to find the words

"H..Hello"

"Ms burkhart" His voice is deep. Almost intimidating. "yes.."

"Congratulations" Like I should immediately jump for joy.

I'm quite. My head is quite. I don't know what to think.

"Ms burkhart? I said congratulations, you are indeed pregnant. By the looks of it about three..yes, three months. So, it looks to be due in november."

My fingers tangle up into the mile long phone cord.

"And..you are sure, there can't be some sort of mistake?" There it is that lump in the back of your throat, screaming YOU'RE GONNA CRY!

"No, the test is pretty accurate. I'd like you to make an appointment in a couple weeks, buy the vitamins we talked about, remember?"

I didn't remember but I said yes and thank you and hung up.

Three months?...My hand inadvertently goes to my stomach. You've been with me that long?

I don't know weither to cry or smile..or both. What would Steven think...oh god. Steven.

"Jackie! Are you dead in there? C'mon"

I had been so lost in my thoughts, I don't know long I've been sitting here. "God Donna can't a girl go to the bathroom!..I'll be out in a minute"

One flush to keep up my facade and off to find Steven. Nodding in approval of my own thoughts, my hand turns the doorknob and Donna is right in my face. Shes staring over my shoulder and I wonder what shes looking at then I remember-

"Um, why is the phone in the bath tub"

Damn.

"Ugh" I grimace. "I don't know Donna your dad gets weirder by the day"

As I'm walking to the basement I'm hopping that only Steven is there, that everyone is gone, that I don't have to awkwardly search for for him. The cement steps leading to the basment have a couple of "Fez" candy wrappers on them, and I'm praying that they were there the day before and I hadn't noticed. That when I open the door Fez isn't standing there. And that Micheal isn't eating a popsicle, and that Eric isn't sitting on the back of the couch...that only Steven is sitting there.

I look at my boots and for a moment I imagin him smiling, and hugging me close.

I imagin us picking baby names and when I think of things like this it all seems okay.

When I open the door no one is there and my lips curl into a smile, because now there is a chance he is in his room. Nearing his room it smells like Steven. It smells like, sunglasses and rugged beards. My Hyde.

"Steven?" I hadn't walked in yet. But I'm hopping to get an annoyed "what."

nothing.

My eyes shut and I think "everything will be fine"

with my step in, I can see his hair on his pillow, his glasses are off and he is in his socks.

I smile again, he isn't trying. He's just sleeping. For a moment I debate wither to wake him. Sitting on a trunk, I watch him sleep. I put on his glasses and wonder what its like to look through his eyes. But of course I'm just stalling. My hands go to my lap, and my thumb accidentally brushes my stomach. Baby.

He looked so comfortable, so careless and I wanted to be him for a few moments. That, and I was tired. So trying not to disturb him, I lay my body down on the unoccupied space of the mattress. The hollowness in the mattress from his body weight, pushes my back to his side.

Even though he was asleep and oblivious to what was happening, I felt safe. Like I...I mean we belonged. Maybe we did.