Once upon an time, it was a good old saturday morning for our friend Sonic the hedgehog. He was watching his favorite american cartoons, on the tv. "Man boy do i love me some saturday, cartoons" he said to himself. He continued to watched tv, until a strange, NEW! Cool program came on. "Hmm i wonder what this is about O_o" he said outloud to himself which was weird because, there was no one around so maybe Sonic has schizophrenara. Anyways Sonic watched the tv and an israeli appeared on the secrene. "Alllah ka bar ISIS, join ISIS ISIS ISIS...ISIS...I Shit I Sleep...All we do is Shit...and Sleep" Sonic smiled because Shitting and Sleeping all day is something he could get behind. Then the islamer continued. "ISIS...Kill the USA...Muhahaha."Sonic got hpynotized by the Islamic, musclim messages, and realized The Truth Of The World. He had to kill Barlock Obsbanya, President of The US. To kill the US. It was the mission given to him by Saddman Hussein, the terrorist who threw a plane at the US. To kill the US. And Sonic realized that he had to follow in Saddom's feetsteps, or else he would fail Saddam, and Allah too. And if he failed Allah, Sonic could never bang Amy ever again. Because Allah would take his pee pee away, forever...OoooooooAahhhhh...Allahh...Ahhhh...Oooo...
It was andorniary day for Sonic's buddeh Tales. He was going to Chorch to praise the Lord, God, so maybe just maybe he could get out off this drug andicten. He had been smoking cocrane for years and now, he will get lung cancer. So Tails figured out "Hm maybe only the Godjesus and The Mother Virgain Mary can save me now, from the evil lung cancer satan" Then when Tails went to pray, he put his hands together Then, in his head, a voice spoke. "Tails...you have to stop ISIS..." Tails was ashocked by this. "God!? Is that you!?" "God said, Yes tails. it's me. I am telling you to stop ISIE because they are going to spread Ebola to all my faithful Christians. If the Christians get Ebola, every christian will die from the power of Ebola. I had originally created Ebola to get rid of my flawed creations, the Asians, but then the Asians used their math skills to create a cure and by then Ebola had spread through the Asian anime, all the way to America where people like to jerk off to Asian anime." Tails then thought to God. "But God, why me?" said God i mean Tails. God said "Tails, you don't know this but you have Asian blood in you. Have you ever wondered why you are yellow, and are so good at math?" Tails replied "Wow it has been so obvious. I can't believe I never noticed God maybe I am too retarded to be an Asian." But God said back to Tails "No Tails you are in fact, a chink. Now you have to use your chink math skills for good, by destroying ISIS and Ebola." Tails accepted his mission. "I have to bring honor to my family by defeating ISIS, and getting rid of Ebola forever. Wow, I just sounded so asian lol. :)" Tails said and he squinted his eyes like a true asain and he left the curch.
Knuckels was just enjoying his ordinary saturday morning like a true bro should: Fapping. Recently Knuckles had found a subreddit called /r/cutefemalecorpses. Normally Knuckels would be jerking off to dead girl bodies ironically but irony died in hell so it had to be jenuine, however Knuckles didn't mind because he actually kind of founds it hot. So Knuckles started to jerk off. Thats when Knuckles got the unexpected of surprise of all life time. He went into the kitchen to make himself a sandwhich (he had no womens to do it for him) and in his refrigerator he found Rogue's dead cute female corpse. "Wow Rogue you are looking so sexy" but his pickup line didn't fucking work since Rogue was dead, fucktard. Rogue I mean KNukles grabbed rogue's body and started fucking her and tried to make babies with it but dead girls cant have babies or else they will have zombie babys, and that would cause an azombie acoplyse. Knuckles however is retarded so he just gucked her anyways and he had no idea. What his foolish mistake would cause. (An zombie apopulyps*