The Beast in Your Mind

By: xxtwins

Jessi's eyes fluttered open adjusting to the darkness of night in her room, her ears carefully listening for a heart beat, unpaced by sleep. All the Trager had gone to bed hours ago, unaware of her insomnia. Jessi crawled out from the covers, siting on the edge of her bed, thinking the thoughts that had recentely plagued her mind, feeling what had infected her body.

So much pain, that was all she could feel. Pain. A nawing pain, slowly eating her inside out, consuming her life. Ever since Sarah's death, she felt it, a hurt inside that made it hard to breath, hard to eat, hard to sleep. A hurt she wished would release her from it's claws, it's suffocating grip on her life. It was taking control, the pain. Controlling her movements, her emotions, her mind. Slowly tearing her apart inside, her life. Ever since her mom died.

Jessi could feel the beast come back, trying to rip at her heart. Tears prickled her eyes, and the monter wrapped it's hand around her throat, making it difficult to swallow or breath.

Her mind brought back up the idea, a way to berid herelf of the hurt inside.

Tonight she would do it, she couldn't live with this anymore. She needed to release the pain.

Jessi crept out of her room, her feet quietly padding the floor, careful to not make a sound, careful to not wake anyone. She didn't want their questions, for they would go unanswered. She didn't want their comfort, for they had none to offer.

She would handle this her own way.

Lightly walking up the stairs, Jessi cautiously entered the bathroom. She opened the medincine cabniet and took out a razor blade. Feeling the cool metal against her wrist, she hesiatated for a second. Should she do this?

But then the devil in her mind started speaking, coaxing her to continue.

This is pain you can control, you can't control your pain of losing Sarah, but you can control this. Focus on this pain. It will make you feel better inside, numb. How long have you wanted an escape? How long have you wanted to forget? Bleed out your hurt along with your blood, for they will escape forever.

She wished she could fight the beast, but it was stronger and it was in control.